Bayberry gardens scotch plains
My Mario Kart Wish List 📃
2023.05.28 17:21 VernonKazama My Mario Kart Wish List 📃
~ 1. Introduction ~
Here is a detailed description of my wishlist for a Mario Kart 9 or 10/X (if Tour is considered the 9th installment) I don't expect everyone to like all my ideas. This is just a wishlist. I obviously would be happy with any Mario Kart Nintendo decides to put out but in a perfect world, this is what I would want for it to be the best Mario Kart imo. I hope you enjoy.
*= Thoughts, Personal opinions, New ideas for modes, mechanics, driver outfits, vehicles, items, options, etc
- with numbered annotation⁰= Explanations on certain features
🔒= Locked. Must be unlocked by in game requirements or DLC
~ 2. Mechanics ~
~ Single Player / Multiplayer 》1P》2P》3P》4P》
Grand Prix》Class Optimization》Driver(s) Select》Vehicle Parts》Circuits》Cup Select》 Class Optimization options: Engine: 50cc》100cc》150cc》Mirror》All
¹》All Mirror¹》 Driver: Solo Dash》Double Dash》
² Drift: Automatic》Manual》³ Items: Normal》No Items》 Camera: Normal》First Person》
*¹ - All and All Mirror options are only available in Grand Prix. After a Circuit has been selected, It'll play each Cup in order of that specific Circuit.
*² - All race and battle modes will feature either a Solo Dash or the new Double Dash option similar to Mario Kart Double Dash for extra replayability and character combinations.
*³ - Even if not many people liked Automatic drifting, it was there for a reason for you to choose. Some liked it. Some didn't. It should be the player's choice.
*⁴ - Camera can also be changed freely during the race from the pause menu.
Time Trials》Driver(s) Select》Circuits》Cup Select》Course Select》 Race Solo》Race Against Ghost》View Ghost》Online Ghost》Upload Ghost Data》
• VS Race》Driver(s) Select》Vehicle Parts》Customized Race》Circuits》Cup Select》Course Select》 Customized Race options: Engine Class: 50cc》100cc》150cc》Mirror》 Driver: Solo Dash》Double Dash》 Drift: Automatic》Manual》 Teams: No Teams》Team Game》 Items: Normal》Frantic》No Items》No Items and Coins》Custom》 COM: Easy》Normal》Hard》Pro
¹》 COM Vehicles (Solo)²: All Vehicles》Karts Only》Bikes Only》 COM Vehicles (Doubles)
²: All Vehicles》ATVs Only》Buggys Only》 Courses: Choose》In Order》Random》 Race Count: 4》5³》8》12》16》32》64》All》 Laps: 1》2》3》4》5》
*¹ - Added a Pro difficulty to make the CPU feel more of a challenge.
*² - Wanted to split the vehicle selections between Solo Dash and Double Dash drivers. Solo Dash drivers will now only select between Karts and Bikes and Double Dash drivers will only select between ATVs and new Buggy vehicles. *Buggys are essential similar to the designs of the Karts used in Mario Kart Double Dash. ATVs are now bigger in size to help fit the idea of 2 drivers on one vehicle.
*³ - The original Super Mario Kart had 5 courses per Cup so I brought that option back for custom races.
*⁴ - Wanted to make the option available for players. These courses will be excluded from Laps option and be set to default when selected: ⁿ⁶⁴ Wario Stadium, ⁿ⁶⁴ Rainbow Road, ᵍᶜⁿ Baby Park, ᵍᶜⁿ Wario Colosseum, ³ᵈˢ Wuhu Loop, ³ᵈˢ Maka Wuhu, ³ᵈˢ Rainbow Road, ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Mount Wario, and ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Big Blue.
Battle》Driver(s) Select》Vehicle Parts》Customized Battle》Course Select》 Customized Battle options: Driver: Solo Dash》Double Dash》 Drift: Automatic》Manual》 Teams: No Teams》Team Game》 Items: Normal》Frantic》Skilled》Custom》 Round Time: 1 Minute》2 Minutes》3 Minutes》4 Minutes》5 Minutes》 COM: Easy》Normal》Hard》Pro》 COM Vehicles (Solo Dash): All Vehicles》Karts Only》Bikes Only》 COM Vehicles (Double Dash): All Vehicles》ATVs Only》Buggys Only》 Courses: Choose》In Order》Random》 Round Count: 3 Rounds》5 Rounds》7 Rounds》
*¹ - I shortened the rounds. Anything past 7 rounds is too much imo but that's just me. Also being a little bias cuz I'm not a fan of battle mode.
~ Online Play 》1P》2P》
Worldwide: Grand Prix*》VS Race》Battle》
Regional: Grand Prix*》VS Race》Battle》
Tournaments》Menu. Menu options: Create a Tournament: Icon》Name》Rules》Time Settings》Other》 *Rules options: Mode: 50cc》100cc》150cc》Mirror》Balloon》Classic Balloon
¹》 Renegade Roundup》Bob-omb Blast》Shine Runners¹》Coin Runners》 Shine Thief》Thunder Cloud Tag
¹》Random Battle》 Driver: Solo Dash》Double Dash》 Drift: Automatic》Manual》 Teams: No Teams》Team Game》 Items: Normal》No Items》No Items or Coins》Frantic》Skilled*²》Custom》 Round Time (Battle only): 1 Minute》2 Minutes》3 Minutes》4 Minutes》5 Minutes》 COM: No COM》Easy》Normal》Hard》Pro》 Vehicles (Solo Dash): All Vehicles》Karts Only》Bikes Only》 Vehicles (Double Dash): All Vehicles》ATVs Only》Buggys Only》 Camera: Normal》First Person》 Smart Steering: Smart Steering OK》No Smart Steering》 *Time Settings options: Frequency: Weekly》Daily》Fixed Period》 Start Day: Sunday》Monday》Tuesday》Wednesday》Thursday》Friday》Saturday》 Start Date: Dependent》 Start Time: Dependent》 End Day: Sunday》Monday》Tuesday》Wednesday》Thursday》Friday》Saturday》 End Date: Dependent》 End Time: Dependent》 Round Count: 4 Rounds》8 Rounds》16 Rounds》 Group Shuffling: Don't Shuffle》Every 4th Match》 *Other options: Player Rating: Any Rating》0-2999》3000-9999》10000-99999》 Public/Private: Open to Everyone》Code Required》
*¹ - Scroll down to Battle section for more info.
*² - Skilled Items for Battle mode only.
Search by Code Search by Type Active Tournaments
- A Report button will finally be added to report cheaters/hackers/etc.
- I'm thinking Solo Dash races will feature the usual 12 players (1st - 12th place) while Double Dash races features upto 16 players but 8 groups total (1st - 8th place).
- Worldwide and Regional Grand Prix will be 2-12 racers (or 4-16 in doubles mode) in a 4-race Cup from any randomly displayed Cups. Cups are then selected based on player voting.
- Create Room will now feature customized options such as Mode, Teams, Items, CPUs, and Vehicles similar to the Create a Tournament option.
- For online, I'd also like for a better ranking system to prevent casual players from racing against competitive players and vice versa.
My Replays. View saved replays from previous races or battles on and offline. * You can now save more than just 6 replays.
Online Replays*¹ View shared replays from others online
*¹ - Should've already been added in the first place.
²* - View recent online races or battles replays. Earn coins by voting who'll be 1st. * Literally stole this idea from Smash.
~ Other Details
- The race start intro and race finishes to retro courses will have a remake version of their original transitions along with a rearranged verison of their original theme from that respective retro course. Example for better understanding. * Mario Kart GP courses will have the current game's race start and finish transitions.
- I somehow also want to incorporate a way that once the Retro Grand Prix is unlocked, the title screen will have remake versions of the original title screens from previous Mario Kart games similar to Mario Party Superstars. Example
- It would show different title screens at each start up similarly to how Mario Kart 8/Deluxe's title screens Example
- Sometimes the CPU seems to make decisions that only seem to target the player regardless of placement. I want a smarter CPU for harder difficulties that won't just use an item just to use. If a CPU is holding a shell, they should use it logically or defend themselves with it logically.
- I personally am fine with every other mechanic used in Mario Kart 8/Deluxe such as driving techniques used, amiibo settings, Stats, etc. Keep the same driving techniques even during Double Dash mode. I personally was not a fan of Mario Kart Double Dash's drift mechanic and would not want that function brought back.
~ 3. Characters and Vehicles ~
68 Total Drivers (including DLC) 32 Total Alternate Drivers. 100 Total Individual Characters.
- Driver select screen, press R button to rotate between alternate drivers. Some drivers will have upto 9 different outfits to choose from.
- I wanted the original 8 to be the starting roster.
Mario》Metal Mario 🔒》Tanooki Mario 🔒》Fire Mario 🔒》Ice Mario 🔒》Dr. Mario 🔒》 - Mario (Classic) 🔒 - Mario (Builder) 🔒 - Mario (SNES) 🔒 - Mario (Sunshine) 🔒 - Mario (Tuxedo) 🔒 - Mario (N64)*🔒 - Metal Mario (Gold) 🔒
Luigi》Penguin Luigi 🔒》Fire Luigi 🔒》Gooigi*🔒》 - Luigi (Classic) 🔒 - Luigi (Golf) 🔒 - Luigi (Builder) 🔒
Peach》Pink Gold Peach 🔒》Cat Peach 🔒》Fire Peach*🔒》 - Peach (Wedding) 🔒
Yoshi - Light-blue Yoshi - Black Yoshi - Red Yoshi - Yellow Yoshi - White Yoshi - Purple Yoshi - Pink Yoshi - Orange Yoshi
Bowser》Dry Bowser 🔒》Meowser 🔒》 - Dry Bowser (Gold) 🔒
Donkey Kong Jr. - Donkey Kong Jr. (SNES) 🔒
Koopa Troopa》Koopa (Freerunning) 🔒》 - Red Koopa (Freerunning) - Blue Koopa (Freerunning) - Purple Koopa (Freerunning) - Gold Koopa (Freerunning) 🔒
Toad》Cat Toad 🔒》Captain Toad 🔒》 - Toad (Pit Crew) 🔒 - Toad (Builder) 🔒 - Toad (Astronaut) 🔒 - Toad (Blue)* - Toad (Yellow)* - Toad (Green)*
Donkey Kong 🔒
Wario 🔒 - Wario (Biker)*
Birdo 🔒 - Birdo (Light Blue) - Birdo (Black) - Birdo (Red) - Birdo (Yellow) - Birdo (White) - Birdo (Purple) - Birdo (Green) - Birdo (Orange)
Baby Mario 🔒
Baby Luigi 🔒
Toadette 🔒》Peachette 🔒》 - Toadette (Explorer) 🔒 - Toadette (Builder) 🔒 - Toadette (Astronaut) 🔒
Paratroopa 🔒 - Green Paratroopa*
Diddy Kong 🔒
Bowser Jr. 🔒
Petey Piranha 🔒
King Boo 🔒 - King Boo (Luigi's Mansion)
Ms. Pac-Man 🔒
Dry Bones 🔒 - Dry Bones (Gold) 🔒
R.O.B. 🔒 - R.O.B. (Famicom)*
Shy Guy 🔒 - Light-blue Shy Guy - Black Shy Guy - Green Shy Guy - Yellow Shy Guy - White Shy Guy - Blue Shy Guy - Pink Shy Guy - Orange Shy Guy
Baby Peach 🔒
Baby Daisy 🔒
Funky Kong 🔒
Honey Queen 🔒
Baby Rosalina 🔒
Link 🔒 - Link (Champion's Tunic)
Villager 🔒 - Villager (Female)
Isabelle 🔒 - Isabelle (Winter)*
Inkling Girl 🔒 - Inkling Girl (lime green) - Inkling Girl (magenta)
Inkling Boy 🔒 - Inkling Boy (purple) - Inkling Boy (teal)
Hammer Bro 🔒》Boomerang Bro 🔒》Ice Bro 🔒》Fire Bro 🔒》
Monty Mole 🔒
Dixie Kong 🔒
King Bob-omb 🔒
Chargin' Chuck 🔒
Noki ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒 - Noki (Green) - Noki (Pink) - Noki (Yellow)
Pianta ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒 - Pianta (Pink) - Pianta (Yellow) - Pianta (Purple)
Professor E. Gadd ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒
Toadsworth ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒
Luma ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒 - Luma (Blue) - Luma (Pink) - Luma (Green) - Luma (Cyan) - Luma (Red) - Luma (Purple) - Luma (Black) - Luma (Orange)
Sonic the Hedgehog ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒
Miles "Tails" Prower ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒
King K. Rool ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒》Kaptain K. Rool*》
Krunch ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒 * Would be an excellent choice for a surprise DLC character to those familiar w/Diddy Kong Racing
Zelda ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒》Sheik*》
Kirby ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒
King Dedede ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒
Captain Falcon ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒
Samus ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒》Zero Suit*》
Geno ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒
- - there's plenty of room for more characters but I figured 100 was the perfect amount of characters, especially with the double dash feature with everyone potentially having a partner with no odd person out.
Available parts. The parts available are listed here in the order shown in the vehicle customization screen, with the following notation: ¹ = Changes color, depending on the character. ² = Changes color for the Koopalings. ³ = Changes color for Daisy, Baby Daisy, Rosalina, and Baby Rosalina. (DLC) = Part is only available as downloadable content.
- Personally, I would want a system that prevents everyone from choosing the best racer with the best vehicle parts. For example If Luigi is the best racer and his best vehicle is the standard kart with mushroom tires, and gold glider, obviously everyone will choose Toad and those exact parts to win races. I want everyone to choose their favorite racer and parts that make them comfortable to race in, and not just look at a list of the best racers and parts and just copy and paste that. I don't know how to fix this honestly but I'm sure someone could help with ideas to this to make everyone equal in a way on the track with their own individuality similar to what Mario Kart 7 did with their characters.
~ Karts (Solo Dash)
Standard Kart¹ 4-Wheel Cradle 8-Bit Pipe Frame¹ Apple Kart B Dasher Badwagon Barrel Train Biddybuggy (Buggybud)¹ Birthday Girl (Royal Ribbon)²/³ Blue Falcon Blue Seven Booster Seat (Baby Booster) Bruiser (Growlster) Brute Bull's-Eye Banzai Bulldog-W ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ Bumble V Cact-R Cact-X Cat Cruiser Cheep Charger Cheep Snorkel Circuit Special¹ Clanky Kart Classic Dragster (Nostalgia 1) Cloud 9 Crawly Kart Cucumber Dasher II Daytripper (Royal Racer) Dozer Dasher Dragonfly Dry Bomber Egg 1 Flame Flyer Gold Mantis Gold Pipe Frame Gold Standard (Gold Kart) Green Apple Kart Honeycoupe (Dragonetti) Hurricane Jet Cruiser Jetsetter (Aero Glider) Jumbo Jetter Kiddie Kart¹ Koopa Clown² Landship ² Light Dancer Light Tripper Mach 8 Mini Beast (Concerto) Mushmellow Offroader P-Wing Paintster Parade Kart Penguin Slider Pink Mushmellow Pipe Frame¹ Piranha Prowler Poltergust 4000 Power Flower Prancer Prop Kart Quickshaw ROB-BLS Rambi Rider Royale Shooting Star Sky Pop ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ Sneeker (Bounder)¹ Snow Skimmer Soda Jet Sports Coupe (Sports Coupé) Sprinter (B Dasher Mk. 2) Star Broom Steel Driver Streamliner Streetle Super 1 Super Blooper (Turbo Blooper) Surf Sailer Swift Talon Tanooki Kart Tea Coupe Tiny Titan (Rally Romper) Tiny Tug Tri-Speeder Wario Car Warship Wild Wing Wildlife Yellow Taxi Zucchini (Gherkin) Speed Star ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source
Whirlwind Sport ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source
Egg Mobile ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ * Was inspired by this image I found. Source
Reminds me of the Egg Mobile with Monster tires White Cat ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source
Dark Schnieder ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source
Car¹ ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ * Source
* the number in the center will be replaced by driver's logo Dragoon Kart ⁽ᵈˡᶜ * Source
~ Bikes (Solo Dash)
Standard Bike¹ Bit Bike (Nanobike) City Tripper¹ Flame Rider Hurricane Jet Bubble (Bubble Bike) Master Cycle Zero Mr. Scooty (Mr Scooty) Phantom Quacker ROB-LGS Shooting Star (Twinkle Star) Sugarscoot (Bon Bon)¹ The Duke Varmint Wario Bike Zip Zip (Rapide) Zipper Wheelie Bike ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source
Bullet Bike¹ Comet Dolphin Dasher Flame Runner (Bowser Bike)¹ Jet Bike Mach Bike¹ Magikruiser¹ Master Cycle Sneakster (Nitrocycle) Sport Bike¹ Yoshi Bike¹ Zinger Sting ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ * just an idea I had for a new bike based off of a beta imagine for Donkey Kong racing. Source
* the number in the center will be replaced by driver's logo. Bike version of the Prop Kart
~ ATVs (Double Dash)
Standard ATV (Standard Quad)¹ Bone Rattler Inkstriker Spear (Torpedo)¹ Splat Buggy Teddy Buggy Tyrant Wild Wiggler Hovercraft¹ ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source
~ Buggys (Double Dash)
Standard Buggy ¹ Banisher Bolt Buggy Bullet Blaster Coach³ * Heart Coach/Bloom Coach from Mario Kart Double Dash DK Jumbo Fire Buggy¹ * Red Fire from Mario Kart Double Dash Goo-Goo Buggy¹ Koopa Dasher Koopa King Para-Wing Pipe Buggy¹ Piranha Pipes Turbo Birdo Turbo Yoshi Waluigi Racer
Standard (Normal) 8-Bit Standard Ancient Tires (Ancient Tyres) Azure Roller Bicycle Tires Blue Monster Blue Standard (Normal Blue) Button Capsule Crimson Slim Cushion Cyber Slick Drum Gold 8-Bit Standard Gold Tires (Gold Wheels) Heart Rings Hot Monster (Funky Monster) Iron Leaf Tires (Leaf Tyres) Metal Monster Mushroom Mushroom Off-Road Red Monster Retro Off-Road Roller Slick Slim Snorkel Tires Sponge Triforce Tires (Triforce Tyres) Wood (Wooden) Yoshi Tires
Super Glider¹ 8-Bit Jumping Mario Beast Glider (Ghastly Glider) Bowser Kite Butterfly Sunset Cloud Glider Crimson Crane Droplet Glider Eggshell Glider Eggshell Glider Fare Flier Flower Glider Gold Glider Great Sail Hylian Kite MKTV Parafoil Oilpaper Umbrella Paper Glider Parachute Paraglider (Breath of the Wild) Paraglider (Parafoil) Peach Parasol³ Plane Glider Ribbon Swooper (Swoop) Waddle Wing Waluigi Wing Wario Wing Magic Carpet ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source
Wizpig Glider ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Example
at 00:31 Tails Flier ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source
Knuckles Glider ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source
Gunship ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source
~ 4. Items ~
× – Does not appear in Battle Mode.
~ Items found on the track
Item Box - Gives the player a random item. Items given are based on the player's distance from first place. * I would like for them to look either similar to how they looked in Mario Kart 64 or Mario Kart DS' design.
Coin - Gives the player a small boost and increase top speed when more are collected, up to a maximum of ten.
Rupee - The equivalent of a coin, used for Hyrule Circuit and Zelda related courses. They replace coins in the item roulette and in the track.
Bell - The equivalent of a coin, used for Animal Crossing. They replace coins in the item roulette and in the track.
Cash - The equivalent of a coin, used for Splatoon related courses. They replace coins in the item roulette and in the track.
Balloon ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - The equivalent of an Item Box, used for Diddy Kong Racing related course. Source
Item Box (Capsule) ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - The equivalent of an Item Box, used for Sonic related course. Source
Star Block ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - The equivalent of an Item Box, used for Kirby related course. Source
Banana ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - The equivalent of a coin, used for Donkey Kong Country / Diddy Kong Racing related courses. They replace coins in the item roulette and in the track. Source
Ring ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - The equivalent of a coin, used for Sonic related courses. They replace coins in the item roulette and in the track. Source
Food ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - The equivalent of a coin, used for Kirby related courses. They replace coins in the item roulette and in the track. Source
~ New Items
Coin Block ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ - * floats above player for a short time (10 seconds). Hop to collect upto 10 coins. Can only be obtained if player has 0 coins. Replacing the Coin Box item from Mario Kart Tour. Example
~ Returning Items
Banana Peel - When a kart hits a Banana Peel, it spins out. You can carry one behind your kart to protect yourself from a single attack. Can be thrown backward and forward.
Green Shell - Travels in a straight line and knocks over a kart it hits.
Red Shell - Red Shell Homes in on the closest kart in front of the player and knocks it over.
Feather - Causes the player to spin and leap in the air, providing a small speed boost upon landing, akin to a regular trick (characters will also perform a trick animation during the jump).
Mushroom - Provides the player's kart with a small speed boost.
Super Star - Provides the player invincibility from all terrain and items, and also giving a speed boost.
Boo - Unleashes Boo, who turns the player invisible for a brief time, making them impervious to enemy attacks, and steals an opponent's item. Cannot steal Special Items.
Coinˣ - Grants the player two extra coins and a micro boost.
Lightningˣ - Causes all opponents to drop their items, shrink, and drive slowly for a short time.
Fake Item - Looks just like an item box, but when you run into it, it knocks you over.
Bob-omb - Explodes after a short time when thrown or dropped, knocking over any kart in its blast radius.
Blooper - Sprays ink on all racers ahead and reduces their visibility. The racers hit also lose some of their traction while sprayed.
Bullet Billˣ - Transforms the player into a Bullet Bill, rocketing through the track with auto-pilot, and providing invincibility from all terrain and items.
Spiny Shellˣ - Targets the racer in first place, knocking over all other karts in its path.
Super Horn - Emits a radial shockwave hitting racers, as well as destroying all obstacles, including the Spiny Shell.
~ Special Items
Fireball (Red) - Three fireballs will revolve around your kart. They split up after they're thrown and go sliding ahead. These powerful pyrotechnics can take out multiple opponents at once. Drivers: Mario, Fire Mario
Fireball (Green) - Three fireballs will revolve around your kart. They split up after they're thrown and go sliding ahead. These powerful pyrotechnics can take out multiple opponents at once. Drivers: Luigi, Fire Luigi
Fire Flower - Allows the player to throw fireballs for a short time that cause other karts to spin out on impact. Drivers: Metal Mario, Fire Peach, Fire Bro
Ice Flower - Three balls of ice will revolve around your kart. Throw them all at once and they'll freeze any kart they hit, causing them to slide. Drivers: Ice Bro, Ice Mario, Penguin Luigi
Heart - This protective Heart revolves around your kart for a set amount of time, shielding you from attacks. Any item that hits the player becomes theirs to use. A cute and handy item. Drivers: Peach, Daisy, Villager, Wendy, Mametchi
Yoshi's Egg - This egg rolls down the road and home in on opponents. When they hit and break, they'll drop three more items. Drivers: Yoshi
Birdo's Egg - Homes in on the kart in front of you and crashes once it hits. Three more items will fly out when it breaks. Drivers: Birdo
Chain Chomp - This fearsome beast chases karts with reckless abandon, pulling the player behind it at breakneck speeds. Drivers: Baby Mario, Baby Luigi
Triple Mushrooms - Orbits the player's kart, providing them with three separate speed boosts. Drivers: Toad, Toadette
Golden Mushroom - Provides the player's kart with continuous speed boosts for a short time. Drivers: Captain Toad
Mega Mushroom - The driver grows bigger, which allows them to squash other racers by running over them, making them lose their items and slow down for a moment. Drivers: Pac-Man, Ms. Pac-Man, Wiggler
Poison Mushroom - A stationary item. Looks like a regular mushroom but If one is run into, the victim shrinks, as if hit by a Lightning. Shrunken racers who run into it revert to normal size. Drivers: Kamek * ngl, i didn't really know who to give this item to
Mushroom Cannon - A cannon designed to resemble a Mushroom. Continually shoots out Mushrooms in front of your kart for a set time. Drivers: Monty Mole, Peachette, Toadsworth
Triple Green Shells - Three green shells that orbit the player's kart, protecting them from incoming attacks. Drivers: Koopa Troopa, Dry Bones, Lakitu, Koopa (Freerunning)
Triple Red Shells - Three red shells that orbit the player's kart, protecting them from incoming attacks. Drivers: Paratroopa, Dry Bones, Lakitu, Koopa (Freerunning)
Bowser's Shell - An awe-inspiring giant shell! As it careens down the road, slamming and ramming into karts, it's the very image of Bowser himself. Drivers: Bowser, Bowser Jr., Dry Bowser
Triple Bananas - Three bananas that orbit the player's kart, protecting them from incoming attacks. Drivers: Donkey Kong Jr., Dixie Kong
Giant Banana - Not only does this big banana spin out karts that hit it, but after being struck it breaks into three regular-sized Bananas. Drivers: Donkey Kong
Banana Barrels - Arm your kart with two fully-loaded barrels of Bananas! Continually shoots out Bananas in front of or behind your kart for a set time. Drivers: Diddy Kong, Funky Kong
Thunder Cloud - A thundercloud hovers over the recipient and strikes it with lightning after 10 seconds. The user shrinks to a very small size for 10 seconds, driving more slowly. Before this happens, the user has higher speed and acceleration while not losing speed when driving off-road, and may pass the cloud to an opponent by bumping into them. Drivers: Blinky, Pinky, Inky, Clyde * If there was absolutely no choice but to have the next Meta character, it'd be the Ghosts. Having one of the worst possible specials in the game should balance them out.
POW Block - The POW Block appears above the karts as a 2D image, warning players of its arrival, and causes any racer on the ground ahead of the user to spin out and drop their items. * Since wheelies are no longer a thing, it always spins out other racers unless they're in anti-gravity mode or during an in air trick Drivers: Mii, Don-chan
Super Leaf- Gives the player's kart a tail that can be used to deflect items, knock over opponents and collect coins. The tail will disappear after a moment or if the player is hurt. Drivers: Tanooki Mario
Lucky Seven - Surrounds the player with seven items that rotates around its kart. The player receives a Mushroom, Banana, Green Shell, Red Shell, Blooper, Bob-omb, and a Star. Drivers: King Boo, Pauline, Poochy, Nabbit, Chargin' Chuck, Pianta, Noki
Boomerang Flower - Can be thrown up to three times, hitting racers forward/backward and when it returns to its user after the first and second use. Driver: Boomerang Bro, Larry
Piranha Plant - Automatically chomps on obstacles and other racers, giving a short speed boost for each bite. Drivers: Petey Piranha
Double Bob-ombs - Two Bob-ombs will revolve around your kart. Throw them both at once. Drivers: Wario, Waluigi, Roy
Bob-omb Cannon - Continually shoots out Bob-ombs in front of your kart for a set time. Drivers: Shy Guy
Giga Bob-omb - After being thrown, it will explode after hitting a kart or bouncing 3 times. It has a larger blast radius than a standard Bob-omb. Drivers: King Bob-omb
Bubble - Briefly envelops your kart and protects you from damage for a set time. While in the bubble, you will get a speed boost and float in the air. Drivers: Baby Peach, Baby Daisy, Baby Rosalina, Lemmy
Dash Ring - Tosses out three rings in front of you along the track. Pass through them for a speed boost! Drivers: Rosalina, Luma, Ludwig, Honey Queen
Hammer - Throws multiple Hammers in an arc aimed at karts in front of yours. Drivers: Hammer Bro
Super Bell - A bell rings above the driver, knocking away nearby karts and items. The bell rings three consecutive times. Drivers: Cat Peach, Cat Toad
Capsule - Three colorful capsules surround your kart. They'll bounce at opponents when thrown. Drivers: Dr. Mario
Splat Bomb ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ - * Explodes after a short time when thrown or dropped, knocking and spraying ink on any kart in its blast radius and reduces their visibility. The racers hit also lose some of their traction while sprayed. Drivers: Inkling Girl, Inkling Boy
Magical Boomerang ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ - * Works like a Boomerang Flower that tracks closes kart infront of player like a Red Shell Drivers: Link
Magnet ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - * a powerful magnet that pulls opponents towards the player Source
Nayru's Love ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - * will surround the racer's kart with a protective shield. Any items that hit this shield will be reflected back at the racer who used them. If a driver using Nayru's Love is attacked with an item such as a Lightning, the racer who used the Lightning item will take damage. Drivers: Zelda
Copy Ability ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - * steals Special item from any racer. If no racer has a special item on them, it'll randomly generate a random racer's Special Item. Drivers: Kirby
Dedede's Hammer ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - * driver using Dedede's Hammer, will swing it around for about 5 seconds. Any karts hit will be squashed, causing them to lose their item and speed momentarily. Drivers: King Dedede
Invincibility Shield ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - * become invulnerable to all damage for a short time. Drivers: Sonic, Tails
Bombs ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - * Think Double Bob-ombs, the original Triple Bananas and the Feather item. If used as a protective item, upon the explosion, the player will leap in the air, providing a small speed boost upon landing. Drivers: Samus
Geno Flash ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - * works like a Lightning but doesn't strink opponents. Drivers: Geno
- - R.O.B. and Professor E. Gadd have the ability to obtain any special item, excluding Fireball (Green), Birdo's Egg, Lucky Seven, Nayru's Love ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾, Copy Ability ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾, and Geno Flash ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾
~ 5. Courses ~
161 Total Courses
Nitro Grand Prix Mushroom Cup》 Flower Cup》 Star Cup》 Special Cup 🔒
Retro Grand Prix 🔒 Mushroom 🍄 Courses : Shell Cup》Golden Dash Cup》Red Coin Cup》Blue Coin Cup》Banana Cup》Lucky Cat Cup》1-Up Cup》Gold Cup》
Flower 🌷 Courses: Leaf Cup》Turnip Cup》Freezie Cup》Metal Cup》 Lightning Cup》Rock Cup》POW Cup》Heart Cup》
Star ⭐️ Courses: Sun Cup》Moon Cup》Red Shell Cup》Thunder Cloud Cup》Wing Cup》Boomerang Cup》Coin Block Cup》Warp Cup》
Special 👑 Courses: Vanish Cup》Cherry Cup》Mega Cup》Tanooki Cup》? Block Cup》Spiny Cup》Shine Cup》Grand Cup》
World Grand Prix🔒 Lightning⚡️Courses: Egg Cup》Triforce Cup》Crossing Cup》Bell Cup》Propeller Cup》Fruit Cup》Feather Cup》Acorn Cup》Super Cup》World Cup》
Extra Grand Prix 🔒* Excellent idea to introduce courses from the Mario Kart GP series as well as new courses for DLC content
~ New Courses
Nitro Grand Prix: Mushroom Cup 🍄 1. New Mario Circuit 2. TBD 3. TBD 4. TBD
Nitro Grand Prix: Flower Cup 🌷 1. beach- or water-themed course 2. TBD 3. TBD 4. TBD
Nitro Grand Prix: Star Cup ⭐️ 1. ice- or snow-themed course 2. TBD 3. TBD 4. TBD
Nitro Grand Prix: Special Cup 👑 1. TBD 2. TBD 3. New Bowser's Castle 4. New Rainbow Road
~ Retro Courses
Mushroom 🍄 Courses Retro Grand Prix: Shell Cup 1. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Mario Kart Stadium 2. ᵈˢ Yoshi Falls 3. ᵍᶜⁿ Baby Park 4. ˢⁿᵉˢ Bowser Castle 1
Retro Grand Prix: Golden Dash Cup 1. ʷⁱⁱ Luigi Circuit 2. ᵍᵇᵃ Shy Guy Beach 3. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Sweet Sweet Canyon 4. ᵍᶜⁿ Dry Dry Desert
Retro Grand Prix: Red Coin Cup 1. ³ᵈˢ Toad Circuit 2. ⁿ⁶⁴ Moo Moo Farm 3. ᵍᵇᵃ Riverside Park 4. ʷⁱⁱ Toad's Factory
Retro Grand Prix: Blue Coin Cup 1. ⁿ⁶⁴ Luigi Raceway 2. ˢⁿᵉˢ Donut Plains 1 3. ᵈˢ Cheep Cheep Beach 4. ³ᵈˢ Shy Guy Bazaar
Retro Grand Prix: Banana Cup 1. ᵈˢ Figure-8 Circuit 2. ʷⁱⁱ Moo Moo Meadows 3. ³ᵈˢ Cheep Cheep Lagoon 4. ⁿ⁶⁴ Kalimari Desert
Retro Grand Prix: Lucky Cat Cup 1. ˢⁿᵉˢ Mario Circuit 1 2. ᵍᶜⁿ Peach Beach 3. ⁿ⁶⁴ Koopa Troopa Beach 4. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Thwomp Ruins
Retro Grand Prix: 1-Up Cup 1. ᵍᶜⁿ Luigi Circuit 2. ³ᵈˢ Daisy Hills 3. ˢⁿᵉˢ Ghost Valley 1 4. ᵍᵇᵃ Bowser Castle 1
Retro Grand Prix: Gold Cup 1. ᵍᵇᵃ Peach Circuit 2. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Water Park 3. ʷⁱⁱ Mushroom Gorge 4. ᵈˢ Luigi's Mansion
Flower 🌷 Courses Retro Grand Prix: Leaf Cup 1. ᵍᶜⁿ Mushroom Bridge 2. ᵍᵇᵃ Boo Lake 3. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Twisted Mansion 4. ³ᵈˢ Rock Rock Mountain
Retro Grand Prix: Turnip Cup 1. ᵍᵇᵃ Mario Circuit 2. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Toad Harbor 3. ⁿ⁶⁴ Choco Mountain 4. ˢⁿᵉˢ Bowser Castle 2
Retro Grand Prix: Freezie Cup 1. ᵈˢ Desert Hills 2. ᵍᶜⁿ Mario Circuit 3. ʷⁱⁱ DK Summit 4. ᵍᵇᵃ Bowser Castle 2
Retro Grand Prix: Metal Cup 1. ʷⁱⁱ Mario Circuit 2. ⁿ⁶⁴ Frappe Snowland 3. ᵍᶜⁿ Daisy Cruiser 4. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Shy Guy Falls
Retro Grand Prix: Lightning Cup 1. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Mario Circuit 2. ˢⁿᵉˢ Ghost Valley 2 3. ᵈˢ Waluigi Pinball 4. ʷⁱⁱ Wario's Gold Mine
Retro Grand Prix: Rock Cup 1. ˢⁿᵉˢ Choco Island 1 2. ᵈˢ Delfino Square 3. ³ᵈˢ Music Park 4. ⁿ⁶⁴ Mario Raceway
Retro Grand Prix: POW Cup 1. ³ᵈˢ Wuhu Loop 2. ʷⁱⁱ Coconut Mall 3. ᵍᵇᵃ Cheese Land 4. ᵈˢ Shroom Ridge
Retro Grand Prix: Heart Cup 1. ⁿ⁶⁴ Toad's Turnpike 2. ³ᵈˢ Mario Circuit 3. ˢⁿᵉˢ Donut Plains 2 4. ᵍᶜⁿ Waluigi Stadium
Star ⭐️ Courses Retro Grand Prix: Sun Cup 1. ᵍᵇᵃ Snow Land 2. ˢⁿᵉˢ Choco Island 2 3. ᵍᶜⁿ Yoshi Circuit 4. ⁿ⁶⁴ Bowser's Castle
Retro Grand Prix: Moon Cup 1. ⁿ⁶⁴ Wario Stadium 2. ʷⁱⁱ Koopa Cape 3. ᵍᵇᵃ Yoshi Desert 4. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Mount Wario
Retro Grand Prix: Red Shell Cup 1. ʷⁱⁱ Daisy Circuit 2. ᵍᵇᵃ Ribbon Road 3. ᵈˢ Mario Circuit 4. ᵍᶜⁿ DK Mountain
Retro Grand Prix: Thunder Cloud Cup 1. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Sunshine Airport 2. ⁿ⁶⁴ Sherbet Land 3. ˢⁿᵉˢ Vanilla Lake 1 4. ³ᵈˢ Maka Wuhu
Retro Grand Prix: Wing Cup 1. ᵈˢ DK Pass 2. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Dolphin Shoals 3. ³ᵈˢ Neo Bowser City 4. ʷⁱⁱ Grumble Volcano
Retro Grand Prix: Boomerang Cup 1. ᵍᶜⁿ Sherbet Land 2. ³ᵈˢ Wario Shipyard 3. ⁿ⁶⁴ Royal Raceway 4. ˢⁿᵉˢ Bowser Castle 3
Retro Grand Prix: Coin Block Cup 1. ˢⁿᵉˢ Koopa Beach 1 2. ᵈˢ Tick-Tock Clock 3. ʷⁱⁱ Maple Treeway 4. ᵍᵇᵃ Bowser Castle 3
Retro Grand Prix: Warp Cup 1. ³ᵈˢ Piranha Plant Slide 2. ᵍᶜⁿ Mushroom City 3. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Electrodrome 4. ᵈˢ Airship Fortress
Special 👑 Courses Retro Grand Prix: Vanish Cup 1. ˢⁿᵉˢ Donut Plains 3 2. ʷⁱⁱ Moonview Highway 3. ᵍᵇᵃ Bowser Castle 4 4. ᵍᶜⁿ Rainbow Road
Retro Grand Prix: Cherry Cup 1. ³ᵈˢ DK Jungle 2. ᵍᵇᵃ Broken Pier 3. ˢⁿᵉˢ Ghost Valley 3 4. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Rainbow Road
Retro Grand Prix: Mega Cup 1. ʷⁱⁱ Dry Dry Ruins 2. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Bone-Dry Dunes 3. ⁿ⁶⁴ Banshee Boardwalk 4. ˢⁿᵉˢ Vanilla Lake 2
Retro Grand Prix: Tanooki Cup 1. ᵍᶜⁿ Wario Colosseum 2. ³ᵈˢ Rosalina's Ice World 3. ʷⁱⁱ Bowser's Castle 4. ⁿ⁶⁴ Rainbow Road
Retro Grand Prix: ? Block Cup 1. ᵈˢ Wario Stadium 2. ˢⁿᵉˢ Koopa Beach 2 3. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Bowser's Castle 4. ᵍᵇᵃ Rainbow Road
Retro Grand Prix: Spiny Cup 1. ᵍᵇᵃ Lakeside Park 2. ᵍᶜⁿ Dino Dino Jungle 3. ᵈˢ Bowser Castle 4. ʷⁱⁱ Rainbow Road
Retro Grand Prix: Shine Cup 1. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Cloudtop Cruise 2. ⁿ⁶⁴ Yoshi Valley 3. ³ᵈˢ Bowser's Castle 4. ᵈˢ Rainbow Road
Retro Grand Prix: Grand Cup 1. ⁿ⁶⁴ D.K.'s Jungle Parkway 2. ᵈˢ Peach Gardens 3. ᵍᶜⁿ Bowser's Castle 4. ³ᵈˢ Rainbow Road
Lightning⚡️Courses 🔒 World Grand Prix: Egg Cup 1. ˢⁿᵉˢ Rainbow Road 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Berlin Byways 3. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Wild Woods 4. ˢʷᶦᵗᶜʰ Yoshi's Island
World Grand Prix: Triforce Cup 1. ˢⁿᵉˢ Mario Circuit 4 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Los Angeles Laps 3. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Piranha Plant Cove 4. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Hyrule Circuit
World Grand Prix: Crossing Cup 1. ᵍᵇᵃ Luigi Circuit 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Sydney Sprint 3. TBA 4. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Animal Crossing
World Grand Prix: Bell Cup 1. ᵍᵇᵃ Sky Garden 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Singapore Speedway 3. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Super Bell Subway 4. TBA
World Grand Prix: Propeller Cup 1. ˢⁿᵉˢ Mario Circuit 3 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Vancouver Velocity 3. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Ice Ice Outpost 4. ˢʷᶦᵗᶜʰ Sky-High Sundae
World Grand Prix: Fruit Cup 1. ᵍᵇᵃ Sunset Wilds 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ New York Minute 3. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Bangkok Rush 4. TBA
World Grand Prix: Feather Cup 1. ˢⁿᵉˢ Mario Circuit 2 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ London Loop 3. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Ninja Hideaway 4. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Mute City
World Grand Prix: Acorn Cup 1. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Paris Promenade 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Merry Mountain 3. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Dragon Driftway 4. TBA
World Grand Prix: Super Cup 1. ᵍᵇᵃ Cheep-Cheep Island 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Amsterdam Drift 3. TBA 4. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Big Blue
World Grand Prix: World Cup 1. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Tokyo Blur 2. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Excitebike Arena 3. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Athens Dash 4. TBA
~ Extra/DLC Courses
Extra Grand Prix: Mario Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖ Mario Highway 2. ᵃᵍᵖ Mario Beach
Extra Grand Prix: Extra Mario Cup 🔒 1. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Splash Circuit 2. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Tropical Coast
Extra Grand Prix: DK Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖ DK Jungle 2. ᵃᵍᵖ Bananan Ruins
Extra Grand Prix: Extra DK Cup 🔒 1. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Bananan Labyrinth 2. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ DK Jungle
Extra Grand Prix: Wario Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖ Diamond City 2. ᵃᵍᵖ Snow Panic
Extra Grand Prix: Waluigi Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖ² Stadium Arena 2. ᵃᵍᵖ² Waluigi Stadium
Extra Grand Prix: Pac-Man Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖ Pac Mountain 2. ᵃᵍᵖ Pac Labyrinth
Extra Grand Prix: Extra Pac-Man Cup 🔒 1. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ PAC-MAN Stadium 2. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ NAMCO Circuit
Extra Grand Prix: Bowser Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖ Bowser's Castle 2. ᵃᵍᵖ Castle Wall
Extra Grand Prix: Extra Bowser Cup 🔒 1. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Bowser's Factory 2. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Bowser's Castle
Extra Grand Prix: Rainbow Cup 🔒 1. ᵃᵍᵖ Rainbow Coaster 2. ᵃᵍᵖ Rainbow Downhill
Extra Grand Prix: Yoshi Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖ² Yoshi Park 1 2. ᵃᵍᵖ² Yoshi Park 2
Extra Grand Prix: Toad Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Peach Castle 2. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Kingdom Way
Extra Grand Prix: Don-chan Cup 🔒 1. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Bon Dance Street 2. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Omatsuri Circuit
Extra Grand Prix: Bowser Jr. Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Aerial Road 2. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Sky Arena
Extra Grand Prix: Inklings Cup 1. Splatoon themed course * Splat Circuit 2. Splatoon themed course
Extra Grand Prix: Sonic ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ 🔒 1. Sonic themed course * Twinkle Circuit Source
at 1:00 2. Sonic themed course * Green Hill Zone related course
Extra Grand Prix: King K. Rool ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ 🔒 1. King K. Rool/Donkey Kong Country related themed course 2. Diddy Kong Racing related themed course * Jungle Falls or Darkmoon Caverns Source 1 Source 2
Extra Grand Prix: Zelda ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ 🔒 1. Zelda themed course * Lost Woods 2. Zelda themed course
Extra Grand Prix: Kirby ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ 🔒 1. Kirby themed course * Fantasy Meadows (from Kirby Air Ride) Source
2. Kirby themed course * Meta Knight's Halberd or The Great Cave Offensive
Extra Grand Prix: Samus ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ 🔒 1. Metroid themed course 2. Metroid themed course
~ 6. Battle ~
In all games, the engine class of Battle Mode is fixed to 50cc. An exception is the Renegade Roundup mode where it is increased to 100cc.
~ Battle Modes
Balloon Battle》Team Balloon Battle》 Classic Balloon Battle》Team Classic Balloon Battle
- Mini Bomb Karts return. Shine Thief》Team Shine Thief》 Bob-omb Blast》Team Bob-omb Blast Shine Runners Coin Runners (Coin Battle)》Team Coin Runners》 Renegade Roundup
Thunder Cloud Tag ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾* - Similar to Shine Thief but reverse. Think of it as Tag. A random player has a Thunder Cloud and must tag others to lose it from above their head. If the player holds the Thunder Cloud when the timer reaches zero, this process repeats until one player remains.
ˢⁿᵉˢ Battle Course 1 ˢⁿᵉˢ Battle Course 2 ˢⁿᵉˢ Battle Course 3 ˢⁿᵉˢ Battle Course 4 ⁿ⁶⁴ Big Donut ⁿ⁶⁴ Block Fort ⁿ⁶⁴ Double Deck ⁿ⁶⁴ Skyscraper ᵍᵇᵃ Battle Course 1 ᵍᵇᵃ Battle Course 2 ᵍᵇᵃ Battle Course 3 ᵍᵇᵃ Battle Course 4 ᵍᶜⁿ Cookie Land ᵍᶜⁿ Block City ᵍᶜⁿ Luigi's Mansion ᵍᶜⁿ Nintendo GameCube ᵍᶜⁿ Pipe Plaza ᵍᶜⁿ Tilt-a-Kart ᵈˢ Nintendo DS ᵈˢ Twilight House ᵈˢ Palm Shore ᵈˢ Tart Top ᵈˢ Block Fort ᵈˢ Pipe Plaza ʷⁱⁱ Block Plaza ʷⁱⁱ Delfino Pier ʷⁱⁱ Funky Stadium ʷⁱⁱ Chain Chomp Wheel ʷⁱⁱ Thwomp Desert ³ᵈˢ Honeybee Hive (Honeybee House) ³ᵈˢ Sherbet Rink ³ᵈˢ Wuhu Town ˢʷᶦᵗᶜʰ Battle Stadium ˢʷᶦᵗᶜʰ Sweet Sweet Kingdom ˢʷᶦᵗᶜʰ Dragon Palace ˢʷᶦᵗᶜʰ Lunar Colony ˢʷᶦᵗᶜʰ Urchin Underpass ᵗᵒᵘʳ New York Minute B ᵗᵒᵘʳ Paris Promenade B Icicle Pyramid or Smokey Castle ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source 1 Source 2
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2023.05.28 14:31 AnderLouis_ Hail and Farewell (George Moore) - Book 3: Vale, Chapter 11.2
PODCAST: https://ayearofwarandpeace.podbean.com/e/ep1572-hail-and-farewell-george-moore-vale-chapter-112/ PROMPTS:
George does not care about you, whatsoever. Today's Reading, via Project Gutenberg:
Borde could not enlighten him on that point, and I suggested that he should make application to the publisher of his Prayer-Book and get his money back. There is nobody. I said, like him. He is more wonderful than anything in literature. I prefer him to Sancho who was untroubled with a conscience and never thought of running to the Bishop of Toledo. All the same he is not without the shrewdness of his ancestors, and got the better of Archbishop Walsh, and for the last five years Vincent O'Brien has been beating time, and will beat it till the end of his life; and he will be succeeded by others, for Edward has, by deed, saved the Italian contrapuntalists till time everlasting from competition with modern composers. He certainly has gotten the better of Walsh. And I thought of a picture-gallery in Dublin with nothing in it but Botticelli and his school, and myself declaring that all painting that had been done since had no interest for me.... A smile began to spread over my face, for the story that was coming into my mind seemed oh! so humorous, so like Ireland, so like Edward, that I began to tell myself again the delightful story of the unrefined ears that, weary of erudite music, had left the cathedral and sought instinctively modern tunes and women's voices, and as these were to be found in Westland Row the church was soon overflowing with a happy congregation. But in a little while the collections grew scantier. This time it couldn't be Palestrina, and all kinds of reasons were adduced. At last the truth could no longer be denied—the professional Catholics of Merrion Square had been driven out of Westland Row by the searching smells of dirty clothes, and had gone away to the University Church in Stephen's Green. So if it weren't Palestrina directly it was Palestrina indirectly, and the brows of the priests began to knit when Edward Martyn's name was mentioned. Them fal-de-dals is well enough on the Continent, in Paris, where there is no faith, was the opinion of an important ecclesiastic. But we don't want them here, murmured a second ecclesiastic. All this counterpoint may make a very pretty background for Mr Martyn's prayers, but what about the poor people's? Good composer or bad composer, there is no congregation in him, said a third. There's too much congregation, put in the first, but not the kind we want! The second ecclesiastic took snuff, and the group were of opinion that steps should be taken to persuade dear Edward to make good their losses. The priests in Marlborough Street sympathised with the priests of Westland Row, and told them that they were so heavily out of pocket that Mr Martyn had agreed to do something for them. It seemed to the Westland Row priests that if Mr Martyn were making good the losses of the priests of the pro-Cathedral, he should make good their losses. It was natural that they should think so, and to acquit himself of all responsibility Edward no doubt consulted the best theologians on the subject, and I think that they assured him that he is not responsible for indirect losses. If he were, his whole fortune would not suffice. He was, of course, very sorry if a sudden influx of poor people had caused a falling-off in the collections of Westland Row, for he knew that the priests needed the money very much to pay for the new decorations, and to help them he wrote an article in the Independent
praising the new blue ceiling, which seemed, so he wrote, a worthy canopy for the soaring strains of Palestrina.
Unfortunately rubbing salt into the wound, I said. A story that will amuse Dujardin and it will be great fun telling him in the shady garden at Fontainebleau how Edward, anxious to do something for his church, had succeeded in emptying two. All the way down the alleys he will wonder how Edward could have ever looked upon Palestrina's masses as religious music. The only music he will say, in which religious emotion transpires is plain-chant. Huysmans says that the Tantum Ergo
or the Dies Irae
, one or the other, reminds him of a soul being dragged out of purgatory, and it is possible that it does; but a plain-chant tune arranged in eight-part counterpoint cannot remind one of anything very terrible. Dujardin knows that Palestrina was a priest, and he will say: That fact deceived your friend, just as the fact of finding the Adeste Fideles
among the plain-chant tunes deceived him. For of course I shall tell Dujardin that story too. It is too good to be missed. He is wonderful, Dujardin! I shall cry out in one of the sinuous alleys. There never was anybody like him! And I will tell him more soul-revealing anecdotes. I will say: Dujardin, listen. One evening he contended that the great duet at the end of Siegfried
reminded him of mass by Palestrina. Dujardin will laugh, and, excited by his laughter, I will try to explain to him that what Edward sees is that Palestrina took a plain chant tune and gave fragments of it to the different voices, and in his mind these become confused with the motives of The Ring
. You see, Dujardin, the essential always escapes him—the intention of the writer is hidden from him. I am beginning to understand your friend. He has, let us suppose, a musical ear that allows him to take pleasure in the music; but a musical ear will not help him to follow Wagner's idea—how, in a transport of sexual emotion, a young man and a young woman on a mountain-side awaken to the beauty of the life of the world. Dujardin's appreciations will provoke me, and I will say: Dujardin, you shouldn't be so appreciative. If I were telling you of a play I had written, it would be delightful to watch my idea dawning upon your consciousness; but I am telling you of a real man, and one that I shall never to able to get into literature. He will answer: We invent nothing; we can but perceive. And then, exhilarated, carried beyond myself, I will say: Dujardin, I will tell you something still more wonderful than the last gaffe. II gaffe dans les Quat'z Arts
. He admires Ibsen, but you'd never guess the reason why—because he is very like Racine; both of them, he says, are classical writers. And do you know how he arrived at that point? Because nobody is killed on the stage in Racine or in Ibsen. He does not see that the intention of Racine is to represent men and women out of time and out of space, unconditioned by environment, and that the very first principle of Ibsen's art is the relation of his characters to their environment. In many passages he merely dramatises Darwin. There never was anybody so interesting as dear Edward, and there never will be anybody like him in literature ... I will explain why presently, but I must first tell you another anecdote. I went to see him one night, and he told me that the theme of the play he was writing was a man who had married a woman because he had lost faith in himself; the man did not know, however, that the woman had married him for the same reason, and the two of them were thinking—I have forgotten what they were thinking, but I remember Edward saying: I should like to suggest hopelessness. I urged many phrases, but he said: It isn't a phrase I want, but an actual thing. I was thinking of a broken anchor—that surely is a symbol of hopelessness. Yes, I said, no doubt, but how are you going to get a broken anchor into a drawing-room? I don't write about drawing-rooms. Well, living-rooms. It isn't likely that they would buy a broken anchor and put it up by the coal-scuttle.
There's that against it, he answered. If you could suggest anything better—What do you think of a library in which there is nothing but unacted plays? The characters could say, when there was nothing for them to do on the stage, that they were going to the library to read, and the library would have the advantage of reminding everybody of the garret in the Wild Duck
. A very cruel answer, my friend, Dujardin will say, and I will tell him that I can't help seeing in Edward something beyond Shakespeare or Balzac. Now, tell me, which of these anecdotes I have told you is the most humorous? He will not answer my question, but a certain thoughtfulness will begin to settle in his face, and he will say: Everything with him is accidental, and when his memory fails him he falls into another mistake, and he amuses you because it is impossible for you to anticipate his next mistake. You know there is going to be one; there must be one, for he sees things separately rather than relatively. I am beginning to understand your friend.
You are, you are; you are doing splendidly. But you haven't told me, Dujardin, which anecdote you prefer. Stay, there is another one. Perhaps this one will help you to a still better understanding. When he brought The Heather Field
and Yeats's play The Countess Cathleen
to Dublin for performance, a great trouble of conscience awakened suddenly in him, and a few days before the performance he went to a theologian to ask him if The Countess Cathleen
were a heretical work, and, if it were would Almighty God hold him responsible for the performance? But he couldn't withdraw Yeats's play without withdrawing his own, and it appears that he breathed a sigh of relief when a common friend referred the whole matter to two other theologians, and as these gave their consent Edward allowed the plays to go on; but Cardinal Logue intervened, and wrote a letter to the papers to say that the play seemed to him unfit for Catholic ears, and Edward would have withdrawn the plays if the Cardinal hadn't admitted in his letter that he had judged the play by certain extracts only.
He wishes to act rightly, but has little faith in himself; and what makes him so amusing is that he needs advice in aesthetics as well as in morals. We are, I said, Dujardin, at the roots of conscience. And I began to ponder the question what would happen to Edward if we lived in a world in which aesthetics ruled: I should be where Bishop Healy is, and he would be a thin, small voice crying in the wilderness—an amusing subject of meditation, from which I awoke suddenly.
I wonder how Dujardin is getting on with his Biblical studies? Last year he was calling into question the authorship of the Romans—a most eccentric view; and, remembering how weakly I had answered him, I took the Bible from the table and began to read the Epistle with a view to furnishing myself with arguments wherewith to confute him. My Bible opened at the ninth chapter, and I said: Why, here is the authority for the Countess Cathleen's sacrifice which Edward's theologian deemed untheological. It will be great fun to poke Edward up with St Paul, and on my way to Lincoln Place I thought how I might lead the conversation to The Countess Cathleen
A few minutes afterwards a light appeared on the staircase and the door slowly opened.
Come in, Siegfried, though you were off the key.
Well, my dear friend, it is a difficult matter to whistle above two trams passing simultaneously and six people jabbering round a public-house, to say nothing of a jarvey or two, and you perhaps dozing in your armchair, as your habit often is. You won't open to anything else except a motive from The Ring
; and I stumbled up the stairs in front of Edward, who followed with a candle.
Wait a moment; let me go first and I'll turn up the gas.
You aren't sitting in the dark, are you?
No, but I read better by candle-light, and he blew out the candles in the tin candelabrum that he had made for himself. He is original even in his candelabrum; no one before him had ever thought of a caridelabrum in tin, and I fell to admiring his appearance more carefully than perhaps I had ever done before, so monumental did he seem lying on the little sofa sheltered from daughts by a screen, a shawl about his shoulders. His churchwarden was drawing famously, and I noticed his great square hands with strong fingers and square nails pared closely away, and as heretofore I admired the curve of the great belly, the thickness of the thighs, the length and breadth and the width of his foot hanging over the edge of the sofa, the apoplectic neck falling into great rolls of flesh, the humid eyes, the skull covered with short stubbly hair. I looked round the rooms and they seemed part of himself: the old green wallpaper on which he pins reproductions of the Italian masters. And I longed to peep once more into the bare bedroom into which he goes to fetch bottles of Apollinaris. Always original! Is there another man in this world whose income is two thousand a year, and who sleeps in a bare bedroom, without dressing-room, or bathroom, or servant in the house to brush his clothes, and who has to go to the baker's for his breakfast?
We had been talking for some time of the Gaelic League, and from Hyde it was easy to pass to Yeats and his plays.
His best play is The Countess Cathleen
. The Countess Cathleen
is only a sketch.
But what I never could understand, Edward, was why you and the Cardinal could have had any doubts as to the orthodoxy of The Countess Cathleen
What, a woman that sells her own soul in order to save the souls of others!
I suppose your theologian objected—
Of course he objected.
He cannot have read St Paul.
What do you mean?
He can't have read St Paul, or else he is prepared to throw over St Paul. Mon ami Moore, mon ami Moore
The supernatural idealism of a man who would sell his soul to save the souls of others fills me with awe.
But it wasn't a man; it was the Countess Cathleen, and women are never idealists.
Not the saints?
His face grew solemn at once.
If you give me the Epistles I will read the passage to you. And it was great fun to go to the bookshelves and read: I say the truth in Christ, I lie not, my conscience also bearing me witness in the Holy Ghost, that I have great heaviness and continual sorrow in my heart. For I could wish that myself were accursed from Christ for my brethren, my kinsmen according to the flesh.
Edward's face grew more and more solemn, and I wondered of what he was thinking.
Paul is a very difficult and a very obscure writer, and I think the Church is quite right not to encourage the reading of the Epistles, especially without comments.
Then you do think there is something in the passage I have read?
After looking down his dignified nose for a long time, he said:
Of course, the Church has an explanation. All the same, it's very odd that St Paul should have said such a thing—very odd.
There is no doubt that I owe a great deal of my happiness to Edward; all my life long he has been exquisite entertainment. And I fell to thinking that Nature was very cruel to have led me, like Moses, within sight of the Promised Land. A story would be necessary to bring Edward into literature, and it would be impossible to devise an action of which he should be a part. The sex of a woman is odious to him, and a man with two thousand a year does not rob nor steal, and he is so uninterested in his fellow-men that he has never an ill word to say about anybody. John Eglinton is a little thing; AE is a soul that few will understand; but Edward is universal—more universal than Yeats, than myself, than any of us, but for lack of a story I shall not be able to give him the immortality in literature which he seeks in sacraments. Shakespeare always took his stories from some other people. Turgenev's portrait of him would be thin, poor, and evasive, and Balzac would give us the portrait of a mere fool. And Edward is not a fool. As I understand him he is a temperament without a rudder; all he has to rely upon is his memory, which isn't a very good one, and so he tumbles from one mistake into another. My God! it is a terrible thing to happen to one, to understand a man better than he understands himself, and to be powerless to help him. If I had been able to undo his faith I should have raised him to the level of Sir Horace Plunkett, but he resisted me; and perhaps he did well, for he came into the world seeing things separately rather than relatively, and had to be a Catholic. He is a born Catholic, and I remembered one of his confessions—a partial confession, but a confession: If you had been brought up as strictly as I have been—I don't think he ever finished the sentence; he often leaves sentences unfinished, as if he fears to think things out. The end of the sentence should run: You would not dare to think independently. He thinks that his severe bringing-up has robbed him of something. But the prisoner ends by liking his prison-house, and on another occasion he said: If it hadn't been for the Church, I don't know what would have happened to me.
My thoughts stopped, and when I awoke I was thinking of Hughes. Perhaps the link between Hughes and Edward was Loughrea Cathedral. He had shown me a photograph of some saints modelled by Hughes. Hughes is away in Paris, I said, modelling saints for Loughrea Cathedral. The last time I saw him was at Walter Osborne's funeral, and Walter's death set me thinking of the woman I had lost, and little by little all she had told me about herself floated up in my mind like something that I had read. I had never seen her father nor the Putney villa in which she had been brought up, but she had made me familiar with both through her pleasant mode of conversation, which was never to describe anything, but just to talk about things, dropping phrases here and there, and the phrases she dropped were so well chosen that the comfort of the villa, its pompous meals and numerous servants, its gardens and greenhouses, with stables and coach-house just behind, are as well known to me as the house that I am living in, better known in a way, for I see it through the eyes of the imagination ... clearer eyes than the physical eyes.
It does not seem to me that any one was ever more conscious of whence she had come and of what she had been; she seemed to be able to see herself as a child again, and to describe her childhood with her brother (they were nearly the same age) in the villa and in the villa's garden. I seemed to see them always as two rather staid children who were being constantly dressed by diligent nurses and taken out for long drives in the family carriage. They did not like these drives and used to hide in the garden; but their governess was sent to fetch them, and they were brought back. Her father did not like to have the horses kept waiting, and one day as Stella stood with him in the passage, she saw her mother come out of her bedroom beautifully dressed. Her father whispered something in his wife's ear, and he followed her into her bedroom. Stella remembered how the door closed behind them. In my telling, the incident seems to lose some of its point, but in Stella's relation it seemed to put her father and his wife before me and so clearly that I could not help asking her what answer her father would make were she to tell him that she had a lover. A smile hovered in her grave face. He would look embarrassed, she said, and wonder why I should have told him such a thing, and then I think he would go to the greenhouse, and when he returned he would talk to me about something quite different. I don't think that Stella ever told me about the people that came to their house, but people must have come to it, and as an example of how a few words can convey an environment I will quote her: I always wanted to talk about Rossetti, she said, and these seven words seem to me to tell better than any description the life of a girl living with a formal father in a Putney villa, longing for something, not knowing exactly what, and anxious to get away from home.... I think she told me she was eighteen or nineteen and had started painting before she met Florence at the house of one of her father's friends; a somewhat sore point this meeting was, for Florence was looked upon by Stella's father as something of a Bohemian. She was a painter, and knew all the Art classes and the fees that had to be paid, and led Stella into the world of studios and models and girl friends. She knew how to find studios and could plan out a journey abroad. Stella's imagination was captured, and even if her father had tried to offer opposition to her leaving home he could not have prevented her, for she was an heiress (her mother was dead and had left her a considerable income); but he did not try, and the two girls set up house together in Chelsea; they travelled in Italy and Spain; they had a cottage in the country; they painted pictures and exhibited their pictures in the same exhibitions; they gave dances in their studios and were attracted by this young man and the other; but Stella did not give herself to any one, because, as she admitted to me, she was afraid that a lover would interrupt the devotion which she intended to give to Art. But life is forever casting itself into new shapes and forms, and no sooner had she begun to express herself in Art than she met me. I was about to go to Ireland to preach a new gospel, and must have seemed a very impulsive and fantastic person to her, but were not impulsiveness and fantasy just the qualities that would appeal to her? And were not gravity and good sense the qualities that would appeal to me, determined as I was then to indulge myself in a little madness?
I could not have chosen a saner companion than Stella; my instinct had led me to her; but because one man's instinct is a little more clear than another's, it does not follow that he has called reason to his aid. It must be remembered always that the art of painting is as inveterate in me as the art of writing, and that I am never altogether myself when far away from the smell of oil paint. Stella could talk to one about painting, and all through that wonderful summer described in Salve
our talk flowed on as delightfully as a breeze in Maytime, and as irresponsible, flashing thoughts going by and avowals perfumed with memories. Only in her garden did conversation fail us, for in her garden Stella could think only of her flowers, and it seemed an indiscretion to follow her as she went through the twilight gathering dead blooms or freeing plants from noxious insects. But she would have had me follow her, and I think was always a little grieved that I wasn't as interested in her garden as I was in her painting; and my absent-mindedness when I followed her often vexed her and my mistakes distressed her.
You are interested, she said, only in what I say about flowers and not in the flowers themselves. You like to hear me tell about Miss —— whose business in life is to grow carnations, because you already see her, dimly, perhaps, but still you see her in a story. Forget her and look at this Miss Shifner!
Yes, it is beautiful, but we can only admire the flowers that we notice when we are children, I answered. Dahlias, china roses, red and yellow tulips, tawny wallflowers, purple pansies, are never long out of my thoughts, and all the wonderful varieties of the iris, the beautiful blue satin and the cream, some shining like porcelain, even the common iris that grows about the moat.
But there were carnations in your mother's garden?
Yes, and I remember seeing them being tied with bass. But what did you say yesterday about carnations? That they were the—
She laughed and would not tell me, and when the twilight stooped over the high trees and the bats flitted and the garden was silent except when a fish leaped, I begged her to come away to the wild growths that I loved better than the flowers.
But the mallow and willow-weed are the only two that you recognise. How many times have I told you the difference between self-heal and tufted vetch?
I like cow parsley and wild hyacinths and—
You have forgotten the name. As well speak of a woman that you loved but whose name you had forgotten.
Well, if I have, I love trees better than you do, Stella. You pass under a fir unstirred by the mystery of its branches, and I wonder at you, for I am a tree worshipper, even as my ancestors, and am moved as they were by the dizzy height of a great silver fir. You like to paint trees, and I should like to paint flowers if I could paint; there we are set forth, you and I.
I have told in Salve
that in Rathfarnham she found many motives for painting; the shape of the land and the spire above the straggling village appealed to me, but she was not altogether herself in these pictures. She would have liked the village away, for man and his dwellings did not form part of her conception of a landscape; large trees and a flight of clouds above the trees were her selection, and the almost unconscious life of kine wandering or sheep seeking the shelter of a tree.
Stella was a good walker, and we followed the long road leading from Rathfarnham up the hills, stopping to admire the long plain which we could see through the comely trees shooting out of the shelving hillside.
If I have beguiled you into a country where there are no artists and few men of letters, you can't say that I have not shown you comely trees. And now if you can walk two miles farther up this steep road I will show you a lovely prospect.
And I enjoyed her grave admiration of the old Queen Anne dwelling-house, its rough masonry, the yew hedges, the path along the hillside leading to the Druid altar and the coast-line sweeping in beautiful curves, but she did not like to hear me say that the drawing of the shore reminded her of Corot.
It is a sad affectation, she said, to speak of Nature reminding one of pictures.
Well, the outlines of Howth are beautiful, I answered, and the haze is incomparable. I should like to have spoken about a piece of sculpture, but for your sake, Stella, I refrain.
She was interested in things rather than ideas, and I remember her saying to me that things interest us only because we know that they are always slipping from us. A strange thing for a woman to say to her lover. She noticed all the changes of the seasons and loved them, and taught me to love them. She brought a lamb back from Rathfarnham, a poor forlorn thing that had run bleating so pitifully across the windy field that she had asked the shepherd where the ewe was, and he had answered that she had been killed overnight by a golf-ball. The lamb will be dead before morning, he added. And it was that March that the donkey produced a foal, a poor ragged thing that did not look as if it ever could be larger than a goat, but the donkey loved her foal.
Do you know the names of those two birds flying up and down the river?
They look to me like two large wrens with white waistcoats.
They are water-ouzels, she said.
The birds flew with rapid strokes of the wings, like kingfishers, alighting constantly on the river, on large mossy stones, and though we saw them plunge into the water, it was not to swim, but to run along the bottom in search of worms.
But do worms live under water?
The rooks were building, and a little while after a great scuffling was heard in one of the chimneys and a young jackdaw came down and soon became tamer than any bird I had ever seen, tamer than a parrot, and at the end of May the corncrake called from the meadow that summer had come again, and the kine wandered in deeper and deeper and deeper herbage. The days seemed never to end, and looking through the branches of the chestnut in which the fruit had not begun to show, we caught sight of a strange spectacle. Stella said, A lunar rainbow, and I wondered, never having heard of or seen such a thing before.
I shall never forget that rainbow, Stella, and am glad that we saw it together.
In every love story lovers reprove each other for lack of affection, and Stella had often sent me angry letters which caused me many heart-burnings and brought me out to her; in the garden there were reconciliations, we picked up the thread again, and the summer had passed before the reason of these quarrels became clear to me. One September evening Stella said she would accompany me to the gate, and we had not gone very far before I began to notice that she was quarrelling with me. She spoke of the loneliness of the Moat House, and I had answered that she had not been alone two evenings that week. She admitted my devotion. And if you admit that there has been no neglect—
She would not tell me, but there was something she was not satisfied with, and before we reached the end of the avenue she said, I don't think I can tell you. But on being pressed she said:
Well, you don't make love to me often enough.
And full of apologies I answered, Let me go back.
No, I can't have you back now, not after having spoken like that.
But she yielded to my invitation, and we returned to the house, and next morning I went back to Dublin a little dazed, a little shaken.
A few days after she went away to Italy to spend the winter and wrote me long letters, interesting me in herself, in the villagers, in the walks and the things that she saw in her walks, setting me sighing that she was away from me, or that I was not with her. And going to the window I would stand for a long time watching the hawthorns in their bleak wintry discontent, thinking how the sunlight fell into the Italian gardens, and caught the corner of the ruin she was sketching; and I let my fancy stray for a time unchecked. It would be wonderful to be in Italy with her, but—
I turned from the window suspicious, for there was a feeling at the back of my mind that with her return an anxiety would come into my life that I would willingly be without. She had told me she had refrained from a lover because she wished to keep all herself for her painting, and now she had taken to herself a lover. She was twenty years younger than I was, and at forty-six or thereabouts one begins to feel that one's time for love is over; one is consultant rather than practitioner. But it was impossible to dismiss the subject with a jest, and I found myself face to face with the question—If these twenty years were removed, would things be different? It seemed to me that the difficulty that had arisen would have been the same earlier in my life as it was now, and returning to the window I watched the hawthorns blowing under the cold grey Dublin sky.
The problem is set, I said, for the married, and every couple has to solve it in one way or another, but they have to solve it; they have to come to terms with love, especially the man, for whom it is a question of life and death. But how do they come to terms? And I thought of the different married people I knew. Which would be most likely to advise me—the man or the woman? It would be no use to seek advice; every case is different, I said. If anybody were to advise me it would be the man, for the problem is not so difficult for a woman. She can escape from love more easily than her lover or her husband; she can plead, and her many pleadings were considered, one by one, and how in married life the solution that seems to lovers so difficult is solved by marriage itself, by propinquity. But not always, not always. The question is one of extraordinary interest and importance; more marriages come to shipwreck, I am convinced, on this very question than upon any other. In the divorce cases published we read of incompatibility of temper and lack of mutual tastes, mere euphemisms that deceive nobody. The image of a shipwreck rose up in me naturally. She will return, and like a ship our love for each other will be beaten on these rocks and broken. We shall not be able to get out to sea. She will return, and when she returns her temperament will have to be adjusted to mine, else she will lose me altogether, for men have died of love, though Shakespeare says they haven't. Manet and Daudet—both died of love; and the somewhat absurd spectacle of a lover waiting for his mistress to return, and yet dreading her returning, was constantly before me.
It often seemed to me that it was my own weakness that created our embarrassment. A stronger man would have been able to find a way out, but I am not one that can shape and mould another according to my desire; and when she returned from Italy I found myself more helpless than ever, and I remember, and with shame, how, to avoid being alone with her, I would run down the entire length of a train, avoiding the empty carriages, crying Not here, not here! at last opening the door of one occupied by three or four people, who all looked as if they were bound for a long journey. I remember, too, how about this time I came with friends to see Stella, whether by accident or design, frankly I know not; I only know that I brought many friends to see her, thinking they would interest her.
If you don't care to come to see me without a chaperon, I would rather you didn't come at all, she said, humiliating me very deeply.
It seemed to me, I answered, blushing, that you would like to see ——, and I mentioned the name of the man who had accompanied me.
If I am cross sometimes it is because I don't see enough of you.
It seems to me that it was then that the resolve hardened in my heart to become her friend ... if she would allow me to become her friend. But in what words should I frame my request and my apology? All the time our life was becoming less amiable, until one evening I nipped the quarrel that was beginning, stopping suddenly at the end of the avenue.
It is better that we should understand each other. The plain truth is that I must cease to be your lover unless my life is to be sacrificed.
Cease to be my lover!
That is impossible, but a change comes into every love story.
The explanation stuttered on. I remember her saying: I don't wish you to sacrifice your life. I have forgotten the end of her sentence. She drew her hand suddenly across her eyes. I will conquer this obsession.
A man would have whined and cried and besought and worried his mistress out of her wits. Women behave better than we; only once did her feelings overcome her. She spoke to me of the deception that life is. Again we were standing by the gate at the end of the chestnut avenue, and I remembered her telling me how a few years ago life had seemed to hold out its hands to her; her painting and her youth created her enjoyment.
But now life seems to have shrivelled up, she said; only a little dust is left.
Nothing is changed, so far as you and I are concerned. We see each other just the same.
I am no more to you than any other woman.
She went away again to Italy to paint and returned to Ireland, and one day she came to see me, and remained talking for an hour. I have no memory of what we said to each other, but a very clear memory of our walk through Dublin over Carlisle Bridge and along the quays. I had accompanied her as far as the Phoenix Park gates, and at the corner of the Conyngham Road, just as I was bidding her goodbye, she said:
I want to ask your advice on a matter of importance to me.
And to me, for what is important to you is equally important to me.
I am thinking, she said, of being married.
At the news it seems to me that I was unduly elated and tried to assume the interest that a friend should.
submitted by AnderLouis_
to thehemingwaylist [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 02:54 jcravens42 60+ miles on Dixie Mountain, Logie Trail Road, assorted others West of Portland, Oregon
| || | submitted by jcravens42 to pnwriders [link] [comments]
Dixie Mountain Road isn't new to me at all, but NW Logie Trail Road was! We did a 60+ road trip from Forest Grove to Scappoose (ate at Ixtapa Mexican Restaurant - we've been MANY times) and back.
LOTS of bicyclists on Dixie Mountain out enjoying the gravel runs. But we didn't see any motorcycle riders except on 30 and on 47 back home.
Screen capture first, then a link to the Google route. And a link to some of my fav local motorcycle routes here: http://www.coyotebroad.com/travel/motorcycle/routes_local.shtml https://preview.redd.it/9ztskyorzg2b1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=76edf6dfbb89b2b7eb1a3eb4957d23605cf6fcfe
2023.05.28 02:51 jcravens42 Nice 60+-mile ride that included Dixie Mountain & NW Logie Trail Road
| || | submitted by jcravens42 to PDXrideit [link] [comments]
Dixie Mountain Road isn't new to me at all, but NW Logie Trail Road was! We did a 60+ road trip from Forest Grove to Scappoose (ate at Ixtapa Mexican Restaurant - we've been MANY times) and back.
LOTS of bicyclists on Dixie Mountain out enjoying the gravel runs. But we didn't see any motorcycle riders except on 30 and on 47 back home.
Screen capture first, then a link to the Google route. And a link to some of my fav local motorcycle routes here: http://www.coyotebroad.com/travel/motorcycle/routes_local.shtml https://preview.redd.it/zi6uz7j0zg2b1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e114044a550767c85a8bf8a91d5d58767ed9fbf6
2023.05.27 23:59 ShadowDragon88 I've Been Reincarnated as a Bunny Girl?! Ch. 4
YAY! Chapter 4 already done and ready for posting! WOOO! I really hope that you enjoy it, dear readers!
I've Been Reincarnated as a Bunny Girl?! (Chapter 4)
"I love when the merchant caravan comes to town!" Valay cheered from where he was sitting on Kiana's shoulders, making his soon-to-be sixteen-year-old big sister wince. At age nine, the twins were being accompanied by Kiana as they walked through main street in town. Twice a year the merchant caravan, often accompanied by adventurers or mercenaries as guards, came to Starlight Rose. Ever since the destruction of The Spire, the town had started to see more traffic as travelers no longer had to worry about traveling through the narrow gaps in the mountain range, past a source of evil. In the six years since its destruction, Starlight Rose had bloomed and doubled its population.
Walking past the stalls and the games, Kiana smiled, feeling a festive atmosphere. She looked down at Malay, who was wearing a seafoam green dress, the young wolbet not caring that it had been a hand-me-down from Kiana, and clutching a giant blue stuffed fox almost as big as she was. Kiana was wearing a bright yellow sundress, having stated that on such a warm day, it was the best option to help keep from getting overheated. Her mother and sister had both smiled knowingly, not the least bit tricked by Kiana's professions. Kiana would often just not think about it.
Valay, in contrast, was wearing a simple red shirt and brown shorts and some small stick-on bandages on his shins and knees. The young boy wolbet was holding a purple dragon plush. Kiana had won them from a game booth. It was the classic 'throw a ball at a stack of bottles to knock them over' game, and like a cliche, she had seen her little brother throw a ball, hit the stack in the dead center, and they didn't move an inch. That's when big sister had stepped in. Kiana looked back at the booth... or rather where it had been. The attendant was still standing there, staring in a daze, as only half of the structure still remained.
"I'm glad you two like it," Kiana said, picking her brother up off her shoulders and setting him down next to his twin. Mirabelle rubbed up against his leg, making him giggle. The tiny snake, that had been small enough to sit coiled comfortably in the palm of a younger Kiana's hand, was now the size of a Saint Barnard, and just as affectionate as one. The blue-green snake had a tendency to try and sneak food, mainly cookies, when she thought she could get away with it, and had developed quite the set of sad puppy eyes when caught.
"So Kiana," Malay asked, looking up with her forest green eyes, a twinkle in them, "gunna go meet with Davtio later?"
Kiana smiled and rolled her eyes. Malay loved asking Kiana about her love life, or rather lack thereof. The older girl reached over and ruffled her little sister's headfur.
"Davtio and I are just friends," she said, having the day before gone on a walk with the elf-boy from her graduating class, gently letting him down after he had made his courting intentions known. The day after Kiana's birthday, which would be two days after the biannual festival, she was going to be leaving Starlight Rose to become a traveling adventurer. Davtio, with his long and practically glowing golden locks and eyes the color of the deep blue sea, had been disappointed, but he understood.
Jorba the goblin boy, however, had been far less formal as well as far less respectful with his own declaration. Said green-skinned bat-eared boy had walked over to where Kiana was retying her new forest green boots and given her bottom a swat, just below her cotton tail, puffing out his chest and informing Kiana that he had decided she was the finest female in their age group in the town and therefore, will be his woman. Slowly, Kiana had straightened herself and turned around, her eyes glowing with a blue light. With a swipe of her legs and a downward punch, that Kiana had been careful not to be too hard with, she effectively punched the disgusting goblin, literally, into the ground. Still alive and not crippled, but definitely in a lot of pain.
"I know that he liiiiiikes you, though," Malay said, rocking back and forth on her heels, reaching down to stroke Mirabelle's head, making the large reptile loosely wrap herself around the young wolbet girl's ankles.
"I don't feel the same way and I told him as much, so we've agreed to remain friends," Kiana said, making her sister let out an exasperated sigh.
"GAH! That is so just like you, Kiki!" Malay said, using the name she and Valay had called Kiana shortly after they had first learned how to talk. "Someone likes you, but you're just happy being just friends!"
"Hey, friends are awesome to have," Kiana said, picking Malay up and setting her on her shoulders, taking Valay's hand/paw into her own. Malay just rolled her eyes and continued to hug her fox.
"So," Valay piped up, glad that the girls had quit talking about romance stuff, "whatcha gunna buy with the money you saved up?" Valay was speaking of the jingling pouch of coins on Kiana's hip. She had earned extra coin around town doing things like babysitting and helping Mr. Fresto build a new stone wall around his garden, and the like. Making deliveries for the new offta restaurant in town had been fun for the teen bunny, and not because offta was the name for what turned out to be pizza in this world either! Tapping into her powers, she was able to sprint all across town and even over to Lake Phantom and back, often in under a minute.
"Well, I've already bought a bunch of supplies and a pack for my journey," Kiana said, taking note of Valay's ears drooping a bit, as well as sensing that Malay's ears were probably doing the same.
"So... you really mean to leave?" Malay asked from Kiana's shoulders. Kiana smiled and rubbed her little sister's leg, before rubbing her little brother's head.
"Yeah, I really do. But like I've told papa... repeatedly, actually, I'll come back to visit a whole bunch! And I'll be able to tell you all some cool stories about my travels!" Kiana said, brightening their moods.
"Are you going to learn magic?" Malay asked. As the twins edged closer towards their tenth birthday, that meant that they were nearing when they'd be old enough to take an exam to determine their magical abilities. Malay had accidentally turned a handful of flowers to stone when she sneezed at age seven. She also accidentally set a patch of grass on fire just outside her bedroom window after a bad dream a couple months back. According to a very excited Felixin, these were signs that Malay had a high aptitude for magic, and might actually be a sorceress, someone born with raw magical power within them.
Felixin went on to explain that anyone, with study and practice and skill, could eventually learn to use magic, but people like that fell under the category of a wizard. He went on to explain that witches were similar to wizards, but were more like hippies out dancing in the woods. Sorcerers and sorceresses were born with raw magical power already in them, that as they grew older, they needed to learn how to control, lest it become dangerous to them and those around them.
Druids, he continued with his explanation, were similar to witches, but less studious and more concentrating on attuning themselves to the energies of the surrounding natural world. He also said they had a tendency to eat certain mushrooms and fungus that they claimed could open one's third eye, but her father dismissed that notion as them just being addled by the chemicals in said fungi. Clerics were also magical, but their magic derived from whichever god they'd devoted themselves to, much like paladins, but with more study and significantly less combat training.
Finally, there were warlocks. Felixin was not shy about making his feelings regarding warlocks known. Instead of taking the time to learn and practice and concentrate and actually earn their magical power, they were rare people who instead bound themselves to an entity of great magical power, often something very sinister. In exchange for this power, they would do their new master's bidding, oftentimes not even fully understanding why such entities would want such requests done. He even recounted one warlock whose only task was to go out on the road and find a specific boulder, and then move it three inches south. Said warlock just shrugged when asked why, and stated that it was the only task his master ever asked of him.
What Felixin apparently didn't know was that there was a final category. The monk. When the master dragon monk had come to evaluate Kiana, after he had recovered from his shock, he had explained that monks were ordinary people who trained both their minds and their bodies. They would learn to tap into their inner power, their ki, and harness it through their bodies. This was of course after years and years of training and meditation. Of the different kinds of monks, the dragon monks were the most powerful. Once they passed a certain threshold, they would become as powerful as a dragon; which kind of dragon depended on which advanced school of training they most identified with. According to the master, Kiana practically oozed the aura of a storm dragon, which was capable of moving as fast as lightning.
"Kiki!" Valay called, tugging on Kiana's hand. She shook herself and smiled down at the wolbet boy. Kiana looked up in time to see Mirabelle stealthily reaching up at a nearby picnic table where those sitting weren't paying any attention and was trying to drag a plate with an entire rotisserie chicken on it nearer to the edge. She snapped her finger, making Mirabelle recoil and slither right back over to her legs, making the sad eyes at her. Kiana ignored the big orange orbs with the black slits and returned her attention to her brother.
"Sorry, buddy, I guess I got lost in my memories there for a sec."
The boy rolled his eyes and pointed to a large red and white tent that covered a wide area. There were no walls, and plenty of people were milling about inside, looking at the various goods. What had caught Valay's eye were the weapons. Already the boy had begged their mother to teach him swordfighting and, only recently, Pumala had agreed. She took note of how quickly Valay had taken to practicing the basics every day after school, always starting back to stance one. Kiana was certain that he was going to grow up to be quite the fighter.
"Okay, let's take a look and see what they've got for sale," Kiana said, turning them to an opening, Mirabelle following close behind. Together they walked down the set up shelves and displays. Valay was entranced by the swords and daggers, especially the throwing knives and shurikens. Scratch that, Kiana thought to herself with a giggle as she set her little sister down to look at the magical staves, thinking about how much Valay loved hiding and planting stink bombs for pranks and using smoke bombs to make his escapes. He'll probably grow up to be a great ninja or something.
Keeping her younger siblings and Mirabelle in sight, Kiana started to look through the different weapons. There were plenty made from low-quality materials that would probably break upon the first real usage, including an ornate-looking gold sword encrusted with jewels. She stopped just past the flails and nunchucks, spying several different tetsubos. The tetsubo was a weapon of the ancient samurai, at least that was the case for her home world. They were long, thick wooden clubs, in this case as tall as Kiana was, so around five feet in length. Going down the sides of the weapons, stopping only at the ends at the tops and just before the handles at the bottoms, were rounded or spiked metal rivets.
She pushed past some ornately carved ones, and spotted what appeared to be a plain brown tetsubo. It was polished and its rivets were spiked and black. The handle was wrapped in a comfortable-feeling leather. Some instinct deep within her liked this weapon, it liked it very much. Carrying it with one hand, she approached a man wearing a lapis lazuli-colored turban, and some matching lapis with gold trim robes. His skin was a pitch-black, with a shock of long white hair, signifying that he was a dark elf.
"How much for the tetsubo?" Kiana asked, hearing Valay and Malay hurrying to her side. She could practically feel their wide eyes staring in wonder at the weapon.
The merchant smiled, his purple eyes twinkling. "So this is the weapon you have selected? Quite the interesting choice."
"Uh, thanks?" Kiana said, now looking the tetsubo over and wondering if it was cursed, or if the guy before her was going to turn out to be a demon or something and that every item in the shop was cursed in some karmic way like the old cliche.
"It is made from a healthy branch of steelwood. Note that I said made, and not carved. As exquisite as a weapon or armor made from carved steelwood is, it pales in comparison to one that is made with secret techniques to sing the form it was always supposed to be straight from the trees themselves. Doing so ensures that any weapon or armor crafted this way will never dull or break. And the price will, of course, reflect as much..."
"Ah," Kiana said, understanding what the merchant before her was getting at.
"That particular tetsubo I cannot part with for less than a platinum," he said.
"Sold," Kiana said, pulling open her pouch and jangling it as her hand disappeared inside. After a moment of her rooting around and sifting coins aside, she found what she was looking for. Out she pulled a single platinum coin. Her brother and sister, as well as the merchant, looked at Kiana in shock.
"Where'd you get a platinum piece?" Malay asked, watching transfixed as Kiana handed the coin over to the still stunned dark elf, who took it and slipped it into a pocket in his robes.
"I found it just outside of town, when I beat down a giant shambling plant creature-thing. I think it ate a traveling merchant or something, 'cause I found a pouch with ten of them in it," Kiana whispered with a wink. She looked up to see that the merchant had the coin back in his hands and was examining it with a jeweler's loupe, nodding in approval as he pocketed both and gave Kiana an award-winning smile.
"A happy transaction," he said, his voice much more jovial than it had been, "please, look around some more for any more weapons that might catch your eye. And please, remember to ask for F'nnickly the Weapon Merchant if ever you're in the cities of Thassles, Ghostflower, or Midnight Tree. I have shops in all of them!"
"I certainly will," Kiana said, meaning it. She imagined she would be seeing more of this F'nnickly on her travels. She then turned to her brother and sister and knelt down, while the merchant turned to address another customer. "Alright, you two, did you guys find anything you wanted? I'll buy it for you."
"But... your birthday money?" Valay asked, looking torn. Kiana gave him and then his twin a kiss on their foreheads.
"You're my cute little brother and sister. If I want to spend money on you guys, I will," she said with a warm smile that only grew wider at the sight of the two now sporting excited grins. They both ran off and started to look more earnestly at things that had caught their eyes.
"Papa probably won't be too happy with me buying them weapons, but I'm sure he and Mama will teach them how to be responsible with them," she thought. She was still crouched to the twins' level and was about to stand back up, when she spotted something else that caught her eye. It was a pair of seemingly plain polished brass knuckles lying inside a small glass display case on a shelf to her left. They looked to be made of a bright silvery metal. Opening the case and picking them up, they weighed next to nothing, but like the tetsubo, something about them called out to Kiana on a level she couldn't quite identify. Smiling, she stood up with them and tapped F'nnickly on his shoulder.
After learning that they were a pair of master-crafted mithril brass knuckles, Kiana bought them for five hundred gold, which was just half of another platinum piece, so she got some change to fill her coin pouch with. Valay was the first to return, carrying a set of shuriken that were enchanted to return to the thrower's hand with a snap of their fingers, a steel dagger, and a chain and sickle that F'nnickly identified as a kusarigama. Kiana had to stop Valay from spinning the weighted end as well as the sickle. Malay returned with a corkscrew oak carved staff that ended with a glowing purple jewel at the top, floating just above the tip. Right below it were human faces carved in, all with sinister-looking grins. It was a swamp dragon staff, meaning that it was great with poison, disease, and paralysis-related spells. With some practice, a dedicated magic user could use it to help with healing very nasty injuries and infections. Together, their purchases ended up costing Kiana another platinum piece plus another fifty gold.
Kiana smiled down at her beloved little brother and little sister, seeing their excitement as they marveled at their new equipment. Mirabelle, not understanding just why they were excited, was still wriggling happily nonetheless. Kiana looked around at her town, beyond the merchant booths and the games, looking at all the sights she had grown up again with, feeling a pang of sadness at knowing in two days, she was leaving. She saw all the familiar faces of her neighbors and friends and everyone else in this town she had grown to love. But it was time, and she knew it. And she had meant what she had said, she was going to visit often. Plus, she'd have Mirabelle with her, so she didn't expect she'd feel too homesick.
Two Days Later...
Kiana's travel pack was fully loaded with spare clothes, food, her mithril knuckles, a couple health potions (not that she was expecting to have to use them), a canteen of fresh water, some alchemical flameless torches, some books, other assorted supplies and, when she was certain no one was looking, Mr. Wolfy. She grabbed her tetsubo and looked at her bedroom, smiling at the bookshelf filled with all sorts of titles and books about faraway lands. Her bed was made, the soft pink comforter that made cold winter nights just so warm. Her closet that was closed, containing a bit fewer dresses than it did a couple days ago, with them safely packed away in her bag. Sighing, she exited.
She was wearing her forest green boots with gold trim up the laces. They matched her green and gold hot pants and matching halter top. Kiana hadn't been too sure about leaving her midriff open like this, exposing her grey back and white tummy, but she had to admit that she had a pretty decent range of movement. And besides, compared to some other female, and some male, adventurers out there wearing what were basically bikinis or lingerie, this was much less revealing.
Out in the living room, her family was waiting. Pumala stood there, holding Kiana's platinum star-shaped badge, signifying the girl was a registered adventurer. Valay had asked Kiana about the badge that had been hand-delivered by guildmaster Graval the day before, the human man wishing the new adventurer a happy birthday. Kiana had explained that she was now officially an adventurer, but a freelance adventurer. She then had to explain that the local guild was a branch of the international inter-adventurer guild association. For freelance adventurers, a platinum ranking was the highest ranking they could achieve. If they wished to rank higher, they needed to join an official guild, like Unicorn Riot or Phoenix Phist. Basically, the guild in their town was just for beginners. The bunny girl was considering joining a real guild, but wanted to first travel and do some missions, and then look in on the different guilds and find out which one she would be most comfortable with.
"Go out there and have an awesome adventure!" Valay said, his voice choking up a bit. He looked away and wiped his eyes before hugging Kiana.
"Yeah, and be sure to tell us all about the places you go and the things you do!" Malay said, her own eyes moist. Kiana felt the hot prickle of tears at the back of hers and furiously blinked them away as she returned their hugs.
"Count on it," she said with a smile. The two letting go, Pumala stepped forward and pinned the badge on Kiana's halter top, her own eyes misty.
"I'm so proud of you, honey-bunny," she said, now doing the hugging. Kiana hugged back, having to blink away some tears again.
"I love you, Mama," she said, being kissed on her forehead.
"I love you too, baby," Pumala said. The older bunny woman, who now had a slight baby bump again, stepped back as her large wolf-man husband strode forward. He tried to look stern, but the silent tears streaming down his face ruined the impression. He threw his arms around Kiana and wrapped her in a bone-crushing hug.
"Oh, my little princess is going awaaaaaaaaay!" he sobbed, much to everyone's collective embarrassment.
"I'll be back to visit, Papa," Kiana said, trying to gently pry his arms off.
"Be careful out there on the road, sweetie!" he sobbed again, his tail tucked between his legs.
"I will, Papa, I promise." Kiana smiled as he let go, and walked to the door. She turned and waved to her family, before turning back and opening the door. Just after she took her first step, she felt a jolt and something wrap around her right leg. Looking down, she saw her father, clinging to her leg like a toddler.
"Feli, let go of Kiana's leg right this instant!" Pumala called, while the twins, still saddened by their big sister's departure, shared a giggle at their father's antics.
"Never!" he called back, tightening his grip. Kiana rolled her eyes and smiled back at her mom.
"Don't worry, he'll fall off or I'll manage to shake him off before I get to the bridge," she said, starting to walk, albeit with an awkward gait. She whistled and Mirabelle, now sporting a new pink ribbon around her neck, came slithering after. Kiana's friends were near the gate for a send-off, which was made a little awkward by the still sobbing grown wolf clinging to the now mildly annoyed bunny girl's leg. She thanked them all and hugged each one, before stopping at the gate itself. She raised the leg her father was on, and began to shake. After a few moments, Felixin went flying and landed in the dirt with an 'OMPH!' Kiana waited as he got up and dusted himself off, wiping his face with the sleeve of his red robes, and walked over to her.
"I love you, Princess," he said, looking Kiana in the eyes and forcing a smile, "from the very day you were born, you were always my little princess, and it's just so hard to see you go. But please, know that I love you, and that not only am I already proud of what you've managed to accomplish, but that I know I'll be proud of the things you do out in the world."
Kiana, fresh tears of her own falling, pulled her Papa into one more hug, now the one making it a bone-crushing hug.
"I love you, Papa. I'm so lucky that I got to have you and Mama for parents. I'll be back before you know it," she said, wiping her own eyes. Felixin stepped back and continued to smile at his little girl. Kiana smiled back and, snapping her fingers to pull Mirabelle away from a gate guard's unattended bag lunch, the two set off, with Kiana turning back once to wave goodbye, before they finally crossed the bridge, and were on their way out into the wide world.
Species: Beasta (Rabbit-Kin)
Skills: Sibling Wrangler, Babysitter, Puppy-Dog Eyes, Master Martial Arts, Brawling, Heavy Weapon Proficiency, Sarcasm Mastery, Eyerolling Mastery, Beast Taming Level 3.
Class: (Official) Master-Level Dragon Monk: Storm Dragon School
Equipment: Adventurer's Pack, Steelwood Tetsubo, Mastercraft Mithril Knuckles (x2), Rope (25 Ft.), Canteen (Full), Road Rations, Spare Clothes, Bedroll, Health Potion (x2), Books (x3) Sniffle. And there you have it, folks! I loved writing about Starlight Rose, but now it's time for us, along with Kiana, to explore the wide world! Thanks for reading this new chapter, and be sure to consider leaving a comment or review.
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2023.05.27 23:00 YerdazSelzavon What flag is this? Norfolk, UK
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Periodically appears in a neighbour's garden - typically in summer. The top right is a mirror of bottom left (i.e. plain white and a continuation of the blue trim) submitted by YerdazSelzavon to vexillology [link] [comments]
2023.05.27 22:20 memerinodeckerino Lots of Fun With This Deck in H-Brawl
The idea is to get 13 lands and crack realm breaker (you probably win before that):
Commander 1 Atraxa, Praetors' Voice (MUL) 98
Deck 1 Realmbreaker, the Invasion Tree (MOM) 263 3 Forest (SIR) 291 3 Swamp (SIR) 285 3 Island (SIR) 282 6 Plains (SIR) 279 1 Elesh Norn (MOM) 12 1 Elesh Norn, Mother of Machines (ONE) 10 1 Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite (MUL) 68 1 Jin-Gitaxias, Progress Tyrant (NEO) 59 1 Gix, Yawgmoth Praetor (BRO) 95 1 Sheoldred, the Apocalypse (DMU) 107 1 Sheoldred (MOM) 125 1 Vorinclex, Monstrous Raider (KHM) 199 1 Oswald Fiddlebender (AFR) 28 1 Diabolic Intent (BRO) 89 1 Impulse (DMU) 55 1 Grim Tutor (M21) 103 1 Varragoth, Bloodsky Sire (KHM) 115 1 Coveted Prize (ZNR) 95 1 Memory Deluge (MID) 62 1 Illicit Shipment (SNC) 83 1 Dig Up (VOW) 197 1 Cultivate (STA) 51 1 Topiary Stomper (SNC) 160 1 Command Tower (ELD) 333 1 Binding the Old Gods (KHM) 206 1 Assassin's Trophy (GRN) 152 1 Beanstalk Giant (ELD) 149 1 Deathsprout (WAR) 189 1 Yasharn, Implacable Earth (ZNR) 240 1 Quandrix Cultivator (STX) 218 1 Burnished Hart (BRR) 8 1 Fabled Passage (ELD) 244 1 Solemn Simulacrum (M21) 239 1 Paradise Druid (WAR) 171 1 Sanctum Weaver (MH2) 171 1 Arcane Signet (ELD) 331 1 Chromatic Lantern (GRN) 233 1 Key to the Archive (Y22) 59 1 Urza's Sylex (BRO) 40 1 Growth Spiral (STA) 61 1 Kami of Bamboo Groves (Y22) 24 1 Boseiju Reaches Skyward (NEO) 177 1 Invasion of Ravnica (MOM) 1 1 Atraxa, Grand Unifier (ONE) 196 1 Farewell (NEO) 13 1 The Mightstone and Weakstone (BRO) 238 1 Shatter the Sky (THB) 37 1 Cleansing Nova (M19) 9 1 Doomskar (KHM) 9 1 Realm-Cloaked Giant (ELD) 26 1 Depopulate (SNC) 10 1 Day of Judgment (STA) 2 1 White Sun's Twilight (ONE) 38 1 Vanquish the Horde (MID) 41 1 Time Wipe (WAR) 223 1 Kaya's Wrath (RNA) 187 1 Shambling Ghast (AFR) 119 1 Black Market Connections (HBG) 145 1 Treasure Chest (AFR) 252 1 Swords to Plowshares (STA) 10 1 Ossification (ONE) 26 1 Elspeth Conquers Death (THB) 13 1 Leyline Binding (DMU) 24 1 Ashiok, Nightmare Muse (THB) 208 1 Hengegate Pathway (KHM) 260 1 Hallowed Fountain (RNA) 251 1 Temple of Enlightenment (THB) 246 1 Godless Shrine (RNA) 248 1 Brightclimb Pathway (ZNR) 259 1 Isolated Chapel (DAR) 241 1 Clearwater Pathway (ZNR) 260 1 Darkslick Shores (ONE) 250 1 Temple of Deceit (THB) 245 1 Watery Grave (GRN) 259 1 Overgrown Tomb (GRN) 253 1 Temple of Malady (M21) 253 1 Woodland Cemetery (DAR) 248 1 Branchloft Pathway (ZNR) 258 1 Overgrown Farmland (MID) 265 1 Temple Garden (GRN) 258 1 Barkchannel Pathway (KHM) 251 1 Botanical Sanctum (KLR) 281 1 Breeding Pool (RNA) 246 1 Temple of Mystery (M21) 254 1 Spara's Headquarters (SNC) 257 1 Indatha Triome (IKO) 248 1 Zagoth Triome (IKO) 259
Is this deck good? By all means, absolutely not. But why is this deck fun? Because it wins quite a bit. But why does it win? because MM algorithm has no idea what to match this deck against. Despite Wizard and your refusal to acknowledge there's an algorithm behind MM, there is one and this deck fuck with it.
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2023.05.27 21:44 LilRedChefInTheHood 32 Masc 4 Femme - Nerds Inquire within
I've been waiting a long time to do this, to make sure I was in the right head space, and I feel ready now.
About me: I'm just a nerd, plain and simple. I like my anime, sci-fi, fantasy, and comedy. I'm 5'3", black, and I'm a huge Swiftie, even if her actions as of late are none too pleasing. Animal lover, with an intensely crippling fear of spiders. You know who the bravest Gryffindor is? Ron Weasley, for going into that forest.
Music wise, I'm a lover of most things pop, but my mix is honestly all over the place. You might hear Kendrick Lamar followed immediately by Elton John, or Wham! (because who doesn't love the 80s?).
If someone were trying to trap me in a box, the best way to do that would be with a video game console and a long RPG.... Or strawberry shortcake, I'm too weak against the shortcake.
When it comes to the bedroom, I don't switch. I am more than happy to spend hours on my partner to satisfy her needs, and do not need that in return. I don't get any pleasure from receiving, only giving. In other words, if you're a Pillow Princess, here's your Prince. That does rule out some trans women, but you deserve a sex life too, and it has been an issue in the past. Sorry :(
I have a goofy little mutt named Ellie, and she's a handful. Friendliest dog on Earth once she's aware you won't step on her. Winning her over is as simple as Pupperoni.
I have a childlike personality, but that's because I prefer not to let life stress me out, and pass it on to others. I grew older, but I never truly grew out of all my interests and hobbies. Writing, singing, gaming, trivia, learning for the sake of learning, and loving animals.
I am estranged from my family, with low contact with my siblings (whom I love very much). It's something that pained me to do, but it was necessary for my mental health and I'm much happier for it. I was a perfectionist, but not any more. I am a deeply flawed human being and that's okay. Nobody is perfect, and it's weird I was raised to try to be!
I strongly believe in a work life balance after hitting a strong burnout. So, I can admit that I am far from ambitious these days. I'm looking for a simple life with someone. A life where I like my job enough to do it every day, my partner and I are DINKS, and we have a small home with enough yard space for a garden and dogs to run. Riches and fame are cool, but they won't be there to hold at the end of my life.
The best sound in the world is a cats purr, closely followed by gently falling rain. The best smell in the world is a woman, with no close seconds. The best feeling in the world is caring for someone who cares for you just as much back.
About you: who saw this post and thought, "Oh. That's my person!" Chat me. I do run a busy restaurant, so may not reply straight away, but I will eventually. Just be patient.
I have SFW photos only, and have no issue sharing them. I will verify my identity and yours, because nobody has time for a man pretending to be a woman. If that's an issue, you're probably a man! :)
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2023.05.27 21:13 RuneQuicksilver Giveaway (Lite v2) - 25 Vivillon in Varoius Patterns
Status: Actively Trading! 💜
Hey friends, back again with another Vivillon giveaway! The last one I closed due to having RL things come up, but here we are again!
Please read the rules carefully before commenting! Posts that do not follow the giveaway rules will not be responded to (unless they’re questions about how the giveaway works or just need a minor correction)! 😁
The rules are as follows:
- Post your IGN, and list up to THREE (3) patterns you’re looking for from the list below.
- Connect using the link code shown below and I will select ONE (1) from your list to give you! Trade anything in return—extra patterned Vivillon are always welcome but not required!
- If you would like another go, you may submit one (1) more additional entry. You must wait at least two (2) hours before submitting another entry!
- If the giveaway is still open, you may submit 2 new entries (following the above rules) starting 24 hours after your last entry.
Link Code: 9969 0099
Time/Date: From now until they're all gone, or closing on 5/30! I'll update the list with any patterns that become unavailable
Patterns available: Archipelago, Continental, Elegant, Garden, High Plains, Icy Snow, Jungle, Marine, Meadow, Modern, Monsoon, Ocean, Polar, River, Sandstorm, Savanna, Sun, Tundra
If you end up connecting and receiving one of my Vivillon, it’d be nice if you would share this with anyone else looking for patterned Vivillon. Once HOME drops, I'll likely run a few if there is still need for them! 💜
submitted by RuneQuicksilver
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2023.05.27 20:30 Ecuadorable Comprehensive Timeline of Roshar - Answers to questions around Ba-Ado-Mishram, the False Desolation, the Scouring of [PLACE], the Fall of the Silver Kingdoms, the Abandonment of [CITY], and the Recreance - The importance of [CHARACTER] and events around ~800 BCE
I've been hesitant about whether or not to post this here, because if my timeline is correct then reading this post will ruin many of major twists and reveals of the next book. I'm likely wrong on a few things, but even so; If you want to keep Stormlight's amazing "Oh shit!" moments for when the books come out, then please DO NOT read this post.
- Formless = Queen Tsa = Ba-Ado-Mishram
- The Fall of the Silver Kingdoms is at the heart of everything, including why the radiants gave up their oaths.
- Queen Tsa Ascended to become Cultivation temporarily, and in doing so picked up the Dawnshard Change.
- Queen Tsa/Cultivation used the Dawnshard to give the Singers Forms of Power - the Regal forms - and in return they gave her the honorific Formless. (Note: On a reread, keep an ear out for every time the word "formless" is used - its very interesting!)
- Queen Tsa was Enlightened by Sja-Anat/Odium to become Ba-Ado-Mishram.
- After the shattering of the Kingdom of Natanatan (The Shattered Plains), Queen Tsa retreated with the Dawnshard to Aimia. The Bondsmith Melishi (the last person to bond the Sibling) led an emergency strike team - together with Nale, Kelek, and others - to take BAM down and to retrieve the Dawnshard. This is what led to the Scouring of Aimia & the Fall of the Aimian Silver Kingdom - which is also why there is so much secrecy around the Scouring.
- Because BAM had a) temporarily Ascended and Connected to Roshar, and b) given the Singers their voidlight powers, capturing BAM in a gemstone caused all Singers to become dullform (aside from The Last Legion, which later became the modern Parshendi).
- Shallan's mother was the Herald Chanarach. The Ghostbloods contacted Shallan as a child via Seon (in the garden), and convinced her to open her family's wall safe to retrieve the gemstone containing BAM. Shallan eventually swallows the gemstone containing Ba-Ado-Mishram. Her mother's shout ("She's one of them!" refers to Shallan being an Unmade, not a Radiant), which is why her mother tried to kill her.
- Formless was reawakened within Shallan with the arrival of the Everstorm.
- (Fun extra: Sigzil is a Ghostblood.)
Note: Though I'm pretty confident about the key points above, the following timeline also contains a few of my less-certain theories (e.g. whether Honour was a dragon), so there are likely a few things wrong below. But even so, I'm confident on much on it, and would love to hear your critiques.
Also: I'm using BC and AD as stand-ins to denote the passing of years on Roshar, because we all know what they mean (even if there wasn't a Jesus on Roshar).
DETAILED TIMELINE OF ROSHAR:
- ? BC: Adonalsium creates or modifies the Rosharan system. On Roshar, he raises the largest Rosharan landmass in the shape of a mathematical Julia Set (for some reason). His investiture in the planet seeds the beginning of some spren species - likely the evolution of lesser spren such as flamespren and emotionspren.
- 10k BC: The Shattering - 16 people + Hoid shatter Adonalsium
- 10k BC: Honor (Tanavast) & Cultivation (Korellium-Avast) come to Ashyn/RoshaBraize. Cultivation & Honor are dragons.
- Cultivation a dragon confirmed. Points in favor of Honor being a dragon: similar naming styles + they were a married couple + a very particularly worded WoB about there only being one dragon on Roshar now.
- 9k BC: Intelligent spren (the kind that can form Nahel bonds) are created on Roshar, likely by Honor and Cultivation
- 9k BC: The original inhabitants of Roshar are the Shapers (early ancestors of the Singers), who bonded with Rosharan spren in a way that allows them to shape and mold stone. The original inhabitants of Ashyn are the humans.
- Evidence: Venli’s discussion with the stone when using her powers in Urithiru, and the Shin’s reverence for uncut stone
- ? BC: Odium comes to the Rosharan system, and tricks Ishar on Ashyn into unchecked surgebinding (with a Dawnshard?), which ends up destroying the planet. The exodus from Ashyn to Roshar occurs, with Ishar + Shalash + the others. The humans settle in Shinovar.
- ? BC: At some point, the Iriali also come to the world as part of their Long Path. Roshar is their fourth planet out of the seven they will move to before Adonalsium is reformed (according to their religion).
- ? BC: At some point anywhere in the timeline: The Siah and Dysian Aimians come to Roshar.
- ? BC: At some point, the spren “betray” the Singers and switch sides to the Humans. The Singers join with Odium.
- 6080 BC: The First Desolation. Cultivation and Honor side with Humans, and Odium with the singers. Humans invade the rest of the world from Shinovar, which results in the first military conflict between humans and Singers. The Eila Stele is written.
- ~6080 BC: Odium creates the Fused. The Oathpact is created by Jezrien in response.
- ? BC: There are 15ish Desolations in total.
- ? BC: Partway through (~5000 BC, during the Heraldic Epochs, Silver Kingdoms): humans and spren begin to develop the Nahel bond – surgebinding – Knight Radiant are founded – Urithiru is built – Nohadon travels to Urithiru after being king during the Desolation that last 11-12ish years
- ~3301 BC: A portion of Singers in Odium’s army (the Last Legion) split off from the conflict and become dullform
- ~3301 BC: The Last Desolation occurs – the nine heralds abandoned the Oathpact – Fused become stuck on Braize – The Era of Solitude begins – humans and singers live together on Roshar
- ~800 BC: Queen Tsa is the queen of Natanatan. Natanatan was the Silver Kingdom that existed where the Shattered Plains are now. Queen Tsa is the character in Wit’s story that tricks Mishim into switching places.
- ~800 BC: The False Desolation occurs, a war between humans and singers, supposedly backed by the Unmade. There are no Fused on Roshar, and the Parsh do not have access to voidbinding or Forms of Power.
- Queen Tsa (or someone else) discovers that humans were the real voidbringers, and the Singers were the original inhabitats of Roshar. This revelation is what sparks events that lead to the Recreance.
- Queen Tsa, originally a leader of human forces, decides to switch sides and help the Singers. Cultivation and Queen Tsa temporarily switch places (as per Wit’s story about Tsa & Mishim, Cultivation’s moon). According to the story, this is supposedly so Cultivation can experience mortal life and Tsa can see the heavens. However, it is likely the Cultivation was the one pulling the strings here, and that this this is related be her objective of working together with Odium to break Tanavast/Honor). Tsa temporarily ascends to become a Shard, and in doing so she gains the ability to Connect to Roshar. Tsa’s Connecting to Roshar here is what causes unforeseen consequences from her imprisonment later – after she is Corrupted into an Unmade by Sja-Anat (but we’re getting ahead of ourselves; for now she is just Queen Tsa/Cultivation).
- Tsa-Cultivation picks up the Dawnshard Change on Ashyn. Tsa-Cultivation gives the Singers voidlight and Forms of Power – specifically, she gives them the ability to become Regals (according to the Listener Song of Secrets: Smokeform, Nightform, Decayform, Stormform)
- Evidence for this: 1) Venli’s surgebinding abilities work when she combines Cultivation’s & Odium’s songs. 2) Ba-Ado-Mishram is said to have given the singers their Forms of Power at the beginning of the False Desolation, which is what caused the war to become The False Desolation. Before this they had only had normal singer forms and no fused – but now they had Forms of Power – aka what Venli has, Regal forms. 3) When Dalinar and Odium agree to Champion terms at the end of RoW, Odium states that while he can control the Fused, he has no control over the Regals. This is likely because they were created by Tsa-Cultivation, not Odium.
- While Ascended, Tsa either sleeps with – or in some way works together with – either Honor or Odium.
- Tsa and Cultivation switch back to their original places by choice, or because Tsa can’t handle Shardhood and falls (see Stormfather-Ishar’s statement into the 5th Prologue).
- Evidence: 1) Wit’s story about Tsa & Mishim, 2) Stormfather-Ishar’s statement to Gavilar in the Stormlight 5 Prologue:
- “Tell me,” he said, walking across the springy carpet to the map of Roshar on the table. “Why would Thaidakar be so interested in Ba-Ado-Mishram?”
- She created your parshmen, the Stormfather said. On accident. Long ago, after the Heralds’ final visit but before the Recreance, Mishram tried to rise up and replace the God of the Voidbringers. She gave the common voidbringers forms, Voidlight, abilities. To fight for themselves.
- “Curious,” Gavilar said. “And then?”
- And then…she fell. She was too small a being, not strong enough, to uphold an entire people. It all came crashing down, and so some brave men and women—Radiants—did something that had to be done, trapping Mishram in a gemstone to prevent her from destroying all of Roshar. The side effect of that event created the parshmen.
- (Note that the God of the Voidbringers here = Cultivation, which has interesting implications)
- ? BC: Tsa gains two new monikers: Ba-Ado-Mishram (by the humans) and Formless (by the Singers).
- Formless: One who has granted the Singers new forms, but as a human cannot have forms herself.
- Ba-Ado-Mishram: “Child/Student of the Light of Mishim” or “One who has lost the Light of Mishim”.
- Evidence: Ba-Ado-Mishram is clearly a Shin- or Iriali-derived name.
- Ba – Related to the the name Tsa, related to Bavadin, or related to “bah” as in the student/child indicator from Rysn’s name “Rysn Ftori bah-Vstim”
- Ado – Light, from “Adoda”
- Mishram – Mishi + the suffix ram (e.g. seen in “Amaram”)
- ? BC: Either now or a little later: Something occurs that causes the shattering of the Shattered Plains (and probably the Kingdom of Natanatan). It likely involved Queen Tsa/BAM using the Dawnshard Change. These events - and the unchecked power and destruction on display - were also likely very evocative of the humans destruction of Ashyn. This might have been what finally motivated the Knights Radiants to end their bonds soon after.
- "They blame our people / For the loss of that land. / The city that once covered it / Did range the eastern strand. / The power made known in the tomes of our clan / Our gods were not who shattered these plains." – Song of Wars, 55th stanza
- When Shallan and Kaladin are in the chasms, Shallan realizes that the Shattered Plains were shattered in a way similar to cymatics → “More than that,” she said, standing. “I know too much now to die out here. The Shattered Plains are a pattern. This isn’t a natural rock formation.” Her eyes widened further. “At the center of these Plains was a city. Something broke it apart. A weapon… Vibrations? Like sand on a plate? An earthquake that could break rock… Stone became sand, and at the blowing of the highstorms, the cracks full of sand were hollowed out.” (WoR, ch. 71)
- ? BC: Tsa escapes to Aimia, together with the Dawnshard Change. She lives there among the Siah Aimians, and potentially has a baby (?), or in some way creates a human + Aimian pairing (e.g. the intermixing of two populations who now live in close proximity over time) this leads to the blue-skinned Natan people (and also the blue-veined people in Babatharnam)
- At what point does Tsa become the Unmade Ba-Ado-Mishram? Is it before, during, or after she Ascends?
- ? BC: The Singers fight their way towards Feverstone Keep (gemstone archive), and the person recording this thinks that they might be trying to fight their way to Rall Elorim (which means Feverstone Keep is near the Iriali, Shinovar, and the Purelake). Were the Singers trying to get offworld through the same site that the Irali and Ashyn humans came onworld?
- ? BC: Due to Tsa’s actions in Ascending and giving the Singers forms of power, and/or the events on Natanatan, the current and only Bondsmith Melishi (bonded to the Sibling) decides, in a rush, to form a “strike team” and capture BAM. Kelek and Nale (and more, maybe Chanarach) were present at BAM’s imprisonment, so were also likely related in some way to the strike team.
- ? BC: Nale at some point ends up switching sides to join the Parshendi, and later he and Kelek considers themselves to have “betrayed” BAM.
- Potential theory (unsure): Did BAM have an agreement with Kelek and Nale (helping the Parshendi?), which they betrayed when they became worried about something she would do? And so they told Melishi, which set off the rest of events? Melishi, in a rush (and without time to explain the plan fully to the others – as noted in the gemstone archive), forms a plan to imprison BAM. From Kelek: “I know […] Where her soul is. Ba-Ado-Mishram. Granter of Forms. Their other god. The one who could rival Him. The one…we betrayed.”
- Second potential theory (unsure): Perhaps the turning point was shattering of the Shattered Plains. These events were too evocative of the humans destroying Ashyn, and the unchecked power and destruction on display might have been what finally motivated Nale and Kelek to betray Tsa, and what motivated the Knights Radiants to end their bonds soon after.
- ? BC: The Sibling and Melishi unbond before BAM is imprisoned, and Melishi builds the Sibling the additional shield defenses. Something happens before Melishi can finish them all, and only 4 nodes are created. (Evidence: How did the Sibling know to unbond Melishi before the Recreance?)
- The Sibling hates spren being imprisoned in gemstones, considers Melishi to have “betrayed” her, like all humans. I think this recording from the Urithiru gemstone archive is from the Sibling: “I wish to sleep. I know now why you do what you do, and I hate you for it. I will not speak of the truths I see.” If that archive gemstone is hers, then the Sibling knows something she’s not saying about these events – what was her relationship to BAM? What does she know?
- Somewhere between 800 BC and 300 BC: Melishi’s strike team goes to Aimia to find and capture BAM. The events there are so devastating that they wipe out most of the Aimians, and are later referred to as the Scouring of Aimia. Because so much of what occurs here needs to be kept secret (e.g. BAM’s imprisonment), the reasons for the Scouring are lost to time.
- ~800 BC: BAM is imprisoned in the gemstone. Due to her Connection to Roshar as a previous Shard, BAM’s imprisonment results in the creation of deadeyes, the loss of Towerlight*, and causes a majority of the Parsh (all Regals?) to lose their Identity & Connection to Roshathe rhythms, and turn into parshmen. (Check: I believe The Sibling says that BAM’s imprisonment causes the loss of Towerlight, but maybe it’s Honor dying soon after. Need to check.)
- ~800 BC: The Recreance occurs – nine out of ten Radiant Orders abandon their shardblades and break their bonds, killing their spren (except for the Skybreakers). The Stonewards and Windrunners (and maybe others?) do this at Feverstone Keep.
- The people alive at this point have just 1) Learned that humans were the original voidbringers & that they destroyed Ashyn with unchecked surgebinding, 2) Seen Queen Tsa switch sides and become Cultivation, 3) Seen the Singers get Regal powers and voidlight surgebinding, 4) Have a war so destructive it became named The False Desolation, 5) Witnessed the Shattering of Natanatan to become the Shattered Plains → fall of the Natan Silver Kingdom, 6) Witnessed the Scouring of Aimia → fall of the Aimian Silver Kingdom, 7) Experienced the retreat of the Sibling & abandonment of Urithiru → fall of the Urithiru Silver Kingdom. So there has been some major upheaval going on – it would be understandable then for the Knights Radiant to conclude that their powers are too dangerous to continue.
- Somewhere between 800 BC and 300 BC: Fall of the Silver Kingdoms/end of the Heraldic Epochs.
- Somewhere between 800 BC and 300 BC: Honor dies. (Honor was still alive when the KR's disbanded, which was well after the breaking of the Oathpact. – according to a WOB)
- 100 BC: The Shin Invasions: A series of invasions by the Shin threatened the rest of Roshar. According to legend, the Shin attacked with spears on horseback. Their dominance has been compared to the Heirocracy and the reign of the Sunmaker. (Unresolved questions: how/why did such a peaceful culture temporarily become warmongering? Unmade influence?)
- 0 AD: ???
- When asked, BS couldn’t remember if anything important happened in this year, so it’s likely not important. Fall of the Silver Kingdoms maybe? (WOB - Jofwu: Is year one on the [Rosharan] calendar related to Vorinism in some way? Brandon Sanderson: I would have to go look. I can't remember. I know it's in there.)
- 480 AD: Dynastic collapse of Bayala - The ruling dynasty collapses following "great debauchery" in the court of Bayala. Hessi believes the influence of the Unmade Ashertmarn may be to blame for these events.
- 675 AD: The War of Loss – Sadees, the Sunmaker, ended the Vorin church's Heirocracy and united much of eastern Roshar.
- 950 AD: King’s Drop placed in Thaylen Gemstone Reserve
- ~1120 AD: Navani and Dalinar are born, and current events begin
- Dalinar and his hunting party meet Eshonai and the Listeners
- Gavilar begins searching for a path to immortality
- Thaidakar asks Gavilar to give him Kelek, and in return he agrees to bring about the return of the Desolations.
- Gavilar joins the Sons of Honor, but ends up leading them instead of giving Kelek to Thaidakar. Gavilar therefore has known Kelek for two years by the time of the feast.
- Thaidakar and the Ghostbloods manipulate Shallan (through the Seon, in the garden) to open her family’s wall safe and retrieve the gemstone containing BAM. On the night of the feast, Shallan does so, finding and swallowing the gemstone containing BAM/Formless.
- Ishar (?) poses as the Stormfather to trick Gavilar into (?), and sends him Tanavast’s visions. Gavilar thinks he is using the Stormfather to find a way to become an immortal Herald.
- The night of the feast: Gavilar’s assassination. Kelek brings Nale to meet Gavilar, and Gavilar reveals his plans to return the Desolations. Kelek and Nale are horrified, and Nale manipulates events so that the Parshendi find Szeth and assassinate Gavilar.
- The night of the feast: Chanarach’s death. Shallan’s mother realizes that Shallan swallowed the gemtone and is horrified (“She’s one of them!” = an Unmade). She has her Skybreaker (?) friend (is he also a Ghostblood?) get the special Raysium dagger than can kill/trap an immortal soul. Shallan/BAM kills her mother, and may or may not break her oaths with Testament, but in some way causes Testament to become a Deadeye. Chanarach returns to Braize and begins the Final Desolation.
- [Most of the events of the books occur]
- Shallan AND Sigzil are (independently of each other) recruited by the Ghostbloods
- The Final Desolation begins when Dalinar & Co. reach the centre of the Shattered Plains as the Listeners summon the Everstorm
- The Ghostbloods need Shallan to get into Last Integrity to kill/imprison Kelek, so they get Sigzil to suggest a trip to Lasting Integrity at the next world leader summit.
The end of the timeline, for now. To be continued. Notes!
Queen Tsa is a character in one of Wit's stories (Oathbringer Ch. 67 to be exact). You can read a summary of her story here: https://stormlightarchive.fandom.com/wiki/Tsa
For her whole story straight from the book, see my comment here: https://www.reddit.com/Stormlight_Archive/comments/13temny/comment/jlvk404/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
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2023.05.27 18:59 micktalian The Gardens of Deathworlders: A Blooming Love (Part 17)
Part 17 An Interesting Future (Part 1) (Part 16)
"Lieutenant Tensebwse and his former commanding officer are approaching your office for their scheduled meeting, ma'am." An automated voice called out to Admiral Atxika from her office desk where she sat with her feet up while reading a report on her data tablet. "ETA, three minutes."
"Excellent! Thank you, Hammer." Atxika slowly set down her tablet, delicately removed her feet from her desk, and took a deep breath.
With a subtle press of a button on the underside of her desk, a small section of wall behind her desk suddenly shifted and showed a mirror-like reflection. After rising from her chair with the poise and determination of an ardent professional, she quickly inspected herself in the mirror to ensure her appearance was still up to her standards. Though the slightly less constricting compression-undershirt she had chosen for this occasion allowed the chest buttons of her well-decorated jacket to bulge a bit more than she preferred, it made the field of ribbons and medals above her heart on the right side of her chest stand out a bit more. After a quick turn to check that her backside was wrinkle-free and tight in all the right places, she shot herself the human-like smile she had been practicing. Despite the fact that her large, pearly-white tusks she saw in he reflection had brought her so much confidence with men in the past, she was suddenly feeling a tad self conscious about them.
"Good enough." She thought to herself as she reached over to her desk, pressed the button to turn off the mirror, and began the short walk to her office door.
Looking over at the many hunting trophies and art pieces she had been collecting throughout the years as she walked, she thought back to her childhood fantasy of seeing the stars on a fully-integrated, multi-species crew. On her walls were the beasts from dozens of star systems and the beauties from dozens more, and yet it still didn't feel like it was enough. Though she had spent over a decade building up her crew to the point where she saw several different alien faces each day, those were the rare individual volunteers who were either Deathworlders themselves or had grown up around Deathworlders. There was a particular lack of diversity in her crew compared to what she had imagined after learning about all the different Ascended species in the galaxy, and that bothered her.
Approaching the door, the Admiral couldn't help but feel excited about the prospect of working towards a relationship with another species greater than the simple business contracts she had grown so bored of. Becoming friends, true friends, with people who already seemed to already have many friends felt like a surefire way to have her fantasy come to life. And the fact that it was an order from her Matriarch made it even better. Seeing the two men approaching on the small security feed next to her door, their long braids and colorfully detailed clothing giving them a roughly matching appearance, she took a deep breath and practiced her smile one more time before reaching to open the door. Even though this meeting was purely meant as a report on the progress of her honor guard in regards to their new mechs, Atxika was hoping she would have the opportunity to set the groundwork for a more interesting future.
"Ah, War Chief Msko-Pkwenech, Lieutenant Tensebwse, come in and make yourselves comfortable." Admiral Atxika graciously greeted the two men after opening the door to her office with a smile that slightly covered her tusks and motioned for the men to enter. "Or, do you prefer a shortened name as well?"
"Msko is easier to say for most people say." Despite having to look up to address the woman, the War Chief’s smile and polite nod were that of one military commander showing respect to another. "But you can feel free to call me whatever comes most natural to you, Fleet Admiral."
"I must admit, I think the title 'War Chief' has a certain ring to it." Atxika's tone while making the compliment was professional, but it was obvious she was trying her best to charm the man while gesturing for the group to move towards her desk. "It is an honor and pleasure to meet a military leader of your capacity under such peaceful and cooperative conditions, War Chief."
"The honor and pleasure are mine." Though Msko wasn't quite laying it on as thick as Atxika, his neon green eyes did have a particular sparkle in them as he began slowly and deliberately following the Admiral towards her desk with Tens close behind. "Believe it or not, the Glorious Defense of Genio'Turak by the Stalwart of Destruction is known to all Nishnabe war planners."
"Oh?" Atxika blurted out while stopping dead in her tracks for just a split second before continuing towards her desk. As she stopped and started again, Tens could have sworn he saw her bioluminescent freckles light up just slightly. "I didn't realize I was that well known."
"Wait, hold on, that was you?" Tens sounded genuinely shocked and froze in place a couple paces behind the War Chief. "You were the Qui’ztar sub-Admiral who destroyed a Class 5 Devourer Mass with a ragtag anti-piracy fleet? I heard you barely had enough ships to patrol the hyperlanes, and you still took out a full Class 5 Mass!"
"Well, I wouldn't call my Matriarch's 4th Fleet 'ragtag' but…" Atxika shot Tens a nasty side eye as she walked around her desk toward her chair. "We certainly didn't have The Hammer, nor much in the way of logistical support. However, how do you know about that? I wasn't aware you were involved in strategic or logistical planning."
"Involved?" Msko half-laughed while he placed a hand on the backrest of his chair and made a nodding motion for Tens to sit in the chair next to him. "This nerd already had resource expenditure tables, battle flow diagrams, and force organizations charts developed before we even had the first batch of combat-ready systems operational." As he sat down and shot a sarcastic look over at Tens, he continued with an almost mocking tone. "Do you wanna tell her why, Tens? Or should I?"
"The original idea for the mechs came after I won a real-time strategy sim game tournament that I spent way too much time prepping for." Tens rolled his eyes slightly while closing the distance to where his current and former commanding officers were now seated. "Super long story short, some people accused me of cheating because I gamed the force customization options and put together a light-assault mechanized force that didn't technically exist, and was basically unstoppable. People were saying the game is supposed to be realistic and there was no way the drop-mechs I made could exist in real life. My team and I wanted to prove them wrong and defend our title. And now, here we are."
"What game, if I may ask?" Axtika couldn't help but giggle slightly at what she had just heard. Though she knew the young man who had just sat down in front of her was an incredibly deadly warrior, the thought of him being an avid gamer made him more relatable.
"There Is Only War, Version 12." Tens answered with a cheeky grin.
"They're up to Version 12 now?" The look on the Qui’ztar's face was that of a person realizing their age. "Back in my youth, we were still on Version 10. That's the version I still play when I really want to unwind after a long deployment."
"Eee! Nice!" Tens's grin had grown ear to ear as he suddenly had a whole new level of respect for Admiral. "V10 was great but V11 honestly sucked. It was the first implementation of first-person command mechanics and the devs quickly moved on to V12 with a much more streamlined system about 8 years ago."
"I never really understood the appeal of sim games, just never really been my thing." Msko commented with a more respectful tone now that he knew Atxika was a gamer as well. "They just don't really feel real, even when they're really trying to, if you know what I mean."
"That's one of things I liked about OW V10, it wasn’t really trying to be 'real' so to speak. It can be played on either a simulator or a holo-table." The Admiral motioned towards the large table at the center of a seating area by the office entrance. "The basic format of the system is surprisingly helpful for developing strategic and logistical plans. Even if you aren't engaging in the game play, the customized strategic scenarios and logistics trains features provide a surprisingly useful tool in my line of work."
"See, Msko! I told you sim games aren't a total waste of time." There was an overly confident smirk on the young warrior's face as he looked over at his former commander before turning back to his current commander. "I kept tryin' to tell him OW is great for developing strike plans but he never list-."
"To be entirely fair," Msko interjected, "I wasn't aware that it was something actual military planners utilized."
"It's more of a useful practice or training tool, not a complete tactical or strategic solution. Nothing beats the real world, as they say." Atxika admitted with a light chuckle. "But we can discuss the uses of games as training aids later. At the moment, War Chief, I am far more curious about your impression of my honor guard."
"They're professional, motivated, dedicated, and willing to learn." The War Chief had a very serious, though pleasant tone that perfectly complemented the Admiral’s best. "I couldn't ask for more from my own warriors."
"That isn't really what I meant." Atxika's pleasant tone and expression didn't shift but Tens could tell she was getting to business. "I know they are mentally capable, otherwise they would not be in my honor guard. My concerns are regarding their physical capabilities. And, if I'm being completely honest, their physical safety, as well."
"Ah, yes, I think I understand what you mean." Msko suddenly had hints of apprehension on his face. "The acceleration forces in BD-series mechs can be fairly extreme, especially if you don't have any mods."
"Mods?" The Admiral had suddenly become a bit hesitant. Though the term 'mods' in this context translated as some kind of body-modification, the fact he hadn't specified what kind concerned her. "Do you mean cybernetic or…"
"Cybernetic and genetic." The War Chief winced slightly and his neon green eyes sparkling while answering the question. Though neither were illegal in the GCC, both were highly regulated due to their health complications and potentially lethal uses. And, more importantly, he knew Atxika was well aware of that. "Both are a bit more common on Shkegpewen, and among my people, than with most other species. We have particular neurological, genetic, and physical plasticities that allow us to go further with self modification than most others. For example, when I was 16, I chose my eye color from a list of compatible phenotypes, went to the gene-clinic, and about a month of slight irritation later, my eyes went from almost black to this neon green color."
"I got gene-therapy to make my bones denser and heal my spine after I broke my back when I was a kid." Tens added with a nonchalant tone that contrasted greatly against Atxika's growing shock. "Then, when I was 16, I got a full reaction time enhancement as a birthday present from my goko. That one was both genetic and cybernetic."
"As a children?!?" The Admiral’s eyes had grown wide with utter disbelief at what she was hearing. Though many species did have similar forms of self-modification, she wasn't unfamiliar with any where modification was this common.
"In our culture, we consider 16 year olds to be transitioning to adulthood. Not yet full adults, but well on their way." Msko quickly clarified and then added some more personal context. "By that age, I had already earned my first paycheck, got my first hunting kill, and was beginning my training for the militia."
"My apologies, I meant no offense." The Admiral quickly corrected herself while wishing she had brought along a diplomatic officer. "I often forget that our two species' age develop and age differently. Also, body modification is far less common among my people. Let's call it a… cultural difference."
"To each their own." Tens replied with an accepting shrug, though his tone sounded almost disappointed. "I'm sure your honor guards will be able to train their muscle memory so they won't have to rely on conscious reaction time."
"Is that how you've been able to so thoroughly beat those poor women in all of your sparring matches thus far?" The Admiral leaned back in her chair and shot Tens a stoic look that the young man had learned meant sarcasm, but appeared somewhat earnest.
"Are you bullying women, Tens?" Msko began glaring at the young warrior like he was going to have to lay down the law. "Do I have to call your goko?"
"What?!? No!" Tens whined and flinched like he was about to be hit by a much stronger person while putting up his hands as if to submit. "I'm training them! I swear! Sometimes I feel like they're holding back because they forget I'm not a dainty Qui’ztar man. And I just gotta remind them sometimes."
"He's just doing his job." Atxika caved and admitted as her smile came back. "The males of your species do bear a striking resemblance to males of mine own, if slightly shorter. So, I can understand the need to remind the ladies there are some strength differences from time to time. And, more importantly, if my honor guard found out the Lieutenant here had been holding back on them, they would be furious."
"So, you're showing them respect?" The War Chief was still staring daggers into the young warrior as he asked the obvious question.
"I swear to the spirits of our Ancestors!" Tens showed he was serious about this in both his tone and expression as he slowly lowered his hands. "I need to know that they'll all make it home safe and in one piece by the end of this deployment. They need to be ready to dive into hell and I can't get them ready if I'm treating them like first-year initiates."
"Look at you, thinkin' like a Brave!" The smile returned to Msko's face as he gave Tens a proud nudge on the shoulder then turned back to the Admiral. "With him training your warriors, they'll be fine. The muscle memory will come with practice, they just need the endurance to keep going."
"And that is one of my concerns." Atxika plainly admitted without dropping her pleasant demeanor. "Our species have different physiological adaptations when it comes to hunting. Where my species built traps and used stealth ambush tactics, I am told that your species are…"
The Admiral paused to try to recall the strange and unfamiliar term when a new voice entered the conversation through a speaker built into her desk. All eyes snapped towards the source of the sound and noticed a small yellow light appear as Tylon interrupted in a direct and somewhat excited tone.
"Persistence predators, ma'am, I believe that is the classification you are thinking of. Their species are currently the only Ascended beings who bear that classification." The AI-Captain chimed in to finish the Admiral's sentence and give context before starting his report. "And I apologize for the intrusion, but there is an urgent development from one of our scouts."
"Go ahead, Hammer." The Admiral replied with a now quite serious tone.
"We have detected a small, unauthorized settlement at the target location, as well as a single Arnehilian Disk-ship in orbit, ma'am." Tylon explained with a flat calmness in his voice before the War Chief interjected.
"Our last recon recon flyby was less than 6 months ago and we didn't detect anything, let alone fucking Grays!" Msko blurted out, his hatred of the silver-skin slavers deeply written across his face. "I'm gonna savor shattering that stupid saucer!"
"It seems their ship is in a near-dormant state and the settlement is using low-power and difficult-to-detect technology." Tylon continued his report while seemingly ignoring the interruption. "Further information is being gathered as we speak, but this doesn't seem to be a standard Arnehilian Dynastic group."
"They must be using some kind of shielding to mask their operations." The War Chief commented, his sheer disgust at the slavers was palpable. "Those fucks are always up to something."
"I don't think so." Tens shyly added before the AI continued with a slightly annoyed tone. "I've never seen Grays with stealth tech."
"The reconnaissance drones have only detected the presence of a few hundred Arnehelian biosignatures, as well as some non-native flora." Though he had been interrupted twice so far, Tylon was continuing in stride and left no more room for interruption. "There are no signs of either biological or artificial slaves, mineral extraction operations, atmospheric modification, utilization of weapons systems, decrease in local flora or fauna, or anything which would indicate hostile intent or the capacity of self-defense. Preliminary assessments are that the settlement is unauthorized, though otherwise not in violation of any galactic laws. I believe it may be a sustenance farming operation."
"Thank you, Hammer. I appreciate you bringing this to my attention so promptly." Atxika acknowledged the report with a respectful nod as the yellow light faded from her desk and she redirected her attention towards the two men sitting in front of her. Though the older one looked like he was seething with rage, the younger one looked to be lost in contemplation. "Well, that certainly complicates things a bit. I hate evicting people if they're just trying to survive."
"Evict!?!? Ha! We're gonna fucking slaughter those silver-skinned slavers!" The War Chief clearly wanted blood and Atxika was starting to realize the translation of his name, Red Fist, may be more accurate than she realized.
"Hold on." Tens interjected while rubbing his chin and remembering an interesting story he had heard in a port a few years back. "Could it be Greens instead of Grays?"
"What the fuck are Greens?" Msko shot back with a surprising amount of uncontrolled anger.
"If I may interrupt again, ma'am?" The yellow light on Atxika's desk had come back.
"Of course," Atxika quickly confirmed in an attempt to calm the situation, "I feel your expertise may be of particularly useful here, Tylon."
"Wait, Tylon?" Msko's eyes grew wide and he seemed to instantly snap out of his rage. "As in The Tylon? Tylon The Golden Dragon of Righteous Justice?" The look on the man's face was as if he was meeting one of his heroes.
"Yes." The AI answered as he manifested a small hologram representation of his chosen reptilian form.
"In that case, I apologize for interrupting you and doubting your assessment." Msko bowed his head slightly towards the holographic, golden-scaled, winged serpent. "Please, I would love to learn something new from such an experienced warrior."
"The Arnehilian species, before their Ascension to the Galactic stage, were split along two major political body; the Royal Dynasties, who claimed sovereign authority over all life and people, and the Free People, who were in the process of developing a decentralized, democratic form of governance as a rebellion against the Dynasties. The Dynasties flew a red and gray flag and the Free People's flew a black and green flag, thus the Grays and Greens. Prior to leaving their home system, but after developing their initial space-flight capacities, there was a large-scale conflict utilizing atomic weapons which was believed to have caused the complete destruction of the Greens, leaving only the Grays. However, there have been several reports of surviving Greens who are acting as nomadic sustenance farmers in order to avoid discovery and enslavement by the Grays."
The Admiral’s office fell silent after that explanation, but it wasn't clear to Atxika why. Msko dropped his head slightly and began rubbing the bridge of his nose as he slowly processed what the AI had just told him. Tens, on the other hand, was still completely lost in thought and looked like he was going to rub his chin down to the bone. As Atxika looked down towards Tylon and the small hologram looked up towards her, neither were sure how to proceed. However, before either could say anything to break the silence, Tens seemed to come to a conclusion in his mind, looked over towards Msko, and nudged the War Chief on the shoulder.
"We give everyone a chance, right?" The tone of the young warrior's question implied there really was no other choice in his mind.
"Fuck…" Msko shook his head for a moment before looking over at the young warrior. "You're right, we give everyone a chance. Even if we know we'll regret it later."
submitted by micktalian
to HFY [link] [comments]
2023.05.27 15:44 Jgrupe I'm the New Sheriff in Hollow's End - I Need Some Help with a Case
I recently accepted a job as the new sheriff in a small town called Hollow's End, making me the only law enforcement officer within a hundred miles. As it turns out, this decision may have been a huge mistake.
Normally a job like this in a little town with a couple thousand residents would mean a pretty boring and mundane existence. I’ve worked in a few different small towns over the years and I was expecting this to be more or less the same.
At first it appeared that mundane was exactly what I would see. Besides a few speeding tickets, I didn’t run into any real trouble. There was Randy, the town drunk, who often slept in the police station's only jail cell. I picked him up on a nightly basis for starting fights or disturbing the peace, vandalizing businesses or screaming bloody murder while walking the streets. He was typically alone in that cell (which he often called his apartment) although there was room for ten or more in the big cage. Every so often he'd end up sharing it with someone who had been unfortunate enough to cross his path, and lacked the common sense to avoid him.
The town had your typical problems with shoplifting teens and the odd disputes between neighbors and spouses. But for the most part it was peaceful and quiet, and the jail cell remained empty, aside from Randy.
It seemed that most people in Hollow's End resolved their differences privately, without resorting to calling 9-1-1.
But I've come to realize something since starting as the new Sheriff in Hollow’s End. Despite the similarities to other places I've been, this town is not like other towns.
There’s something very weird about this place, and I can’t put my finger on what it is. The residents have been welcoming and friendly, don't get me wrong, but at times I feel like an absolute outsider. Like there's some secret I'm not privy to.
During town hall meetings, for instance. I’ll make suggestions or ask questions and everyone goes quiet - like they’re in on some big mystery that I don’t know about. People whisper and shoot glances in my direction, then go quiet when I look their way.
I know, this must sound paranoid to an outsider. But that’s what I feel like I am here - an outsider.
Anyways, I thought getting some other people’s perspectives might help. Maybe you can see what I'm missing here. And maybe you can help me figure out what's really going on in this place.
Today started out like any ordinary day. I was sitting at my desk in the bullpen of the police station, doing a crossword puzzle and listening to the baseball game on the radio, waiting for some action. Like I said, not much happens in Hollow’s End - but my experience told me that some people would be out raising hell on a warm day like this one. There were sure to be a few drunk and disorderly calls and maybe even a DUI or two.
Randy, the town drunk, was locked up in his cell as usual, snoring away. I’d picked him up in the wee hours of the morning and he had ranted at me for a while before passing out. It had been more than eight hours now and I was planning on waking him up soon to kick him out, starting our daily routine all over again, when the red phone rang.
There was a dispatcher who put the calls through to this phone, and if it didn’t pick up after three or four rings it flipped over to my cell phone. I nabbed it just in time before it switched over.
“Hello?” I said into the receiver. “This is the Sheriff. What’s your emergency?”
“Will you shoot that fucking rooster already!!!?” Randy screamed from his cell, so loud I couldn’t hear the person on the other end of the line. After this outburst he promptly began snoring again.
“Sorry, can you repeat that?” I asked.
“Ummm, hi,” a timid voice on the other end said. “Is this the police?”
“Yes, this is Sheriff Parsons. What’s your emergency?”
The woman sounded confused, as if she still did not realize who she was calling or why.
“Hi, yeah. Um, I’m sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have called.”
She was about to hang up and I pleaded for her to stop.
“Hey,” I said. “If it's an emergency, then you dialed the right number. What’s going on?”
The woman hesitated and sounded uncertain, but I tried to convince her to trust me.
"Listen, I might sound annoyed, but that’s just because you interrupted me in the middle of my crossword puzzle. And Randy's really getting on my last nerve. But I’m actually pretty anxious to get out of the station. I can come by and talk if you want to explain in person. Whatever it is, maybe I can help.”
“Sure,” she said finally. “I’ll give you my address.”
I hung up the phone and immediately filled a nearby bucket with cold water from the bathroom sink. It would only take a minute, and whatever the woman was calling about didn’t sound that urgent.
I really didn’t want to leave Randy alone in the police station. He was good with picking locks and who knew what sort of hell he would raise if left alone in the bullpen. He’d gotten out of that cell more than once - and I had no idea how he did it. This way was just easier.
“Wake-up time, Randy,” I said, opening the cell door, freezing-cold bucket of water in hand. “What were you saying about a rooster? Because I actually need to replace mine.”
“Ten more minutes,” he yelled angrily. Then he opened one eye and saw the familiar bucket of water in my hand and shot to his feet. “Y’know, on second thought, I’m good. I’ve learned my lesson. Can I go now?”
Several minutes later I pulled up in front of the house. A young, pretty, brown haired woman stood at the front door, holding it open. She held up her hand and waved at me timidly.
I walked up the driveway and stood on the front porch, introducing myself to her as kindly as I could.
“So, you’re the Sheriff. You're new to Hollow’s End as well?”
“Yeah, I’ve been here for just a few weeks. It’s nice. People have been very welcoming. Mostly. When did you move in?”
"Last Summer," she answered.
Her lip trembled and there were tears in her eyes as she tried to speak, but her words caught in her throat.
“Whoa, hey what’s wrong? Are you alright?”
“It’s my husband,” she said. “He didn’t come home from work last night and he isn't picking up his phone. This isn’t like him to be gone for so long without calling. I don’t understand what happened to him. I don't know if maybe they did something to him.”
“Slow down,” I said, pulling out my notepad. “What WHO did to him? Is there someone out there who has it out for your husband for some reason?”
She shook her head, clutching herself and looking past me with nervous eyes.
Her neighbors were just getting home, getting out of their car with a load of groceries in their arms.
"Hey, Cindy," the man called over to her. "Everything alright?"
“Great!” she called back, with a fake smile plastered across her face.
“Miss? What’s going on,” I asked, confused. “Do you think they might know something?”
“No. Maybe. I don’t know. Listen, the only one in town who we trusted was the old sheriff, and he’s… Well, you know. And now I don’t know who to believe. This place… We had no idea when we moved here what it was like. Did you?"
I shook my head slowly, trying to figure this woman out.
"You’ll see. Everyone who lives here finds out soon enough. For us it was the garden. We thought we knew better, but we found out quickly enough that you have to follow the rules in this town. And one of the rules is, don’t talk to outsiders. I’m sorry, but I think that’s still what you are. An outsider.”
I opened my mouth to say something but she was already retreating back inside.
“Who is the old sheriff?” I managed to get out.
The door was almost all the way closed, but then she paused and opened it up again. Just wide enough for her to say one name.
And it was the last name in the world that I would have expected.
Of course the one time I actually needed to find Randy he was gone. The man was constantly raising hell, and residents of Hollow’s End were always calling me to complain about him. But now that I needed to speak to him everyone was going radio-silent.
Further proof of THE CONSPIRACY, a paranoid voice in my mind said, but I inwardly silenced it.
I drove around town in my beat-up old cruiser, trying to spot Randy in one of his usual haunts.
He wasn’t sleeping in the ditch in front of the liquor store. He wasn’t in the forest in the fort he had built out of fallen tree branches. He wasn’t in the washroom at the gas station. And when I went to the playground and looked at the monkey bars there was no sign of him there either.
It was like he had completely disappeared from the face of the earth.
I was about to give up looking for the time being when I finally spotted him, walking along the shoulder of the road up ahead. The man had long, scruffy hair down to his shoulders, an untrimmed beard which was brown with dirt, and he wore a duster jacket, carrying a backpack with him at all times. His cold, blue eyes had always looked intelligent to me, and I had thought ever since I met him that he was smarter than he let on. Even if he was also completely and utterly insane.
I pulled the car over and got out, but he kept walking straight past, ignoring me.
“Randy,” I called after him. “Hey, buddy. I need to talk to you about something.”
He pretended he didn't hear me, continuing to march forwards.
“Hey man, I’m sorry about the bucket. It’s just… you’re like Houdini. I can’t leave you alone in that cell. You get out every time. And it's really hard to wake you up without it.”
He didn’t say a word. So I just kept talking.
“Fine. I get it. You have every right to be pissed off. Maybe I should just consider changing the locks. Something tells me the old sheriff might still have a copy of the key to that prison cell.”
That finally got to him.
Randy stopped walking mid-stride and turned to face me, a little grin playing at the corner of his mouth.
"I have no idea what you're referring to.”
I clicked my tongue, giving him my best attempt at a disappointed, fatherly look.
"Guess I'll just have to arrest you again and search your bag until I find those keys. Maybe I'll check a few other places too, if they're not in there."
"Arrest me for what!?" he yelled indignantly.
"For being a pain in my ass," I answered back.
Really I just needed to talk to him. I had no intention of arresting him.
I heard a noise over my shoulder and turned to look, but there was nothing there except my cop car, and the rear view mirror a little ways back, showing a reflection of us. When I looked at Randy again he was pale as a sheet, and looked like he'd seen a ghost.
He stuck out his wrists, asking me to cuff him.
“Just do it. I’d rather be in there anyways. Especially at night. It isn’t safe out here, man.”
Randy had always said these sorts of things, but now I was starting to take him a bit more seriously for some reason.
I put the cuffs on him, but just for appearances. There were a few people watching from the windows of nearby stores and houses. There were always people watching in Hollow’s End. Always that feeling of eyes on the back of your neck.
“You’re not under arrest,” I said quietly. “I just want it to look like you are. I need to talk to you.”
I drove us back to the station and tried to interrogate Randy along the way, but he promptly fell asleep and started snoring the moment the car began to roll. I had forgotten that was one of his quirks - Randy was a narcoleptic whose spontaneous sleeping fits were often brought on by driving. He was like an infant, soothed by the motion and lulled to sleep.
When we got back to the station I looked in the mirror and noticed he was gone.
Feeling even more confused than usual, I opened the back seat to look at the place where he had been sitting.
Randy had disappeared, leaving the handcuffs behind.
Of course there was no way out of the back of the police cruiser without the doors being opened from the outside. But that hadn't stopped Randy.
Nothing could stop Randy.
And the sonofabitch still had the spare key to the jail cell. And who knew what else he'd pilfered from the station after quitting or getting fired or whatever the hell had happened.
Annoyed, I got back into the driver's seat and decided to go out for a patrol to clear my head. Driving always helped me think. I managed to find a picture of the missing man from Nightsoil Avenue by pulling up his driver's license through the patrol car's onboard computer system. It was the one and only modern piece of technology in the ancient vehicle, and worked reasonably well.
Despite looking for several hours all throughout the town, I didn't see the man anywhere. Through some detective work, though, I managed to find out his employer's name. He had recently started working for J&M Delivery Co. - a local takeout food and liquor delivery business in Hollow's End. I resolved to go speak with the owners after a quick pit stop at the police station.
I went inside and was somewhat unsurprised to find Randy was already in his cell with the door locked, inexplicably drinking a steaming hot cup of coffee from a mug I'd never seen before, which said "#1 Sheriff" on the front of it.
While this WAS very irritating, it was also the best news I'd seen since finding out the "dad bod" was back in style.
Sitting down at my desk, I tried to think about how to approach this situation. I needed this man's help. But he was clearly insane, and also possessed some sort of Houdini-level magical prowess.
His alcoholism was another concern. He was typically blackout drunk at this hour of the day, and it was barely 5PM.
"Get talking, Sheriff," he said suddenly. "It's almost noon and I haven't had a peep all day. If you don't want me to start rantin' and raving, you better get to the point."
I let this sink in for a few moments, ignored the urge to check my wristwatch, then asked him a question I'd never asked him before.
"Why DO you drink, Randy? What exactly is it inside of you that you need to drown with booze every day? And what happens if you don't?"
"You've seen it, Sheriff,” he muttered back at me. “You've seen the broken windows on Main Street. If I don't drink, those fucking faces show up in the glass every time. They're waiting for me, if I forget to drown their voices I'll hear them screaming. And you don't want to hear the screams of monsters, Sheriff. Trust me, there ain't nothin' in the wild world more terrifying than the screams of your nightmares. Just pray you never hear 'em. But I think you will. Nah, scratch that. I know you will. And then you'll be joining me in this cell, drinking right along with me. And they'll have a new sheriff in town. Every week a new sheriff…"
He was rambling and I tried to cut him off but he was gone now. There was no way to get through to him except by doing the unthinkable.
But luckily I'd gotten pretty good at doing unthinkable things.
I went into my desk and pulled out my trusty bottle of scotch, and hated myself as I poured him a tall glass of the stuff.
Once Randy was good and drunk, he began to spill the beans.
And what a story it was. Completely unbelievable, of course. The drunken ravings of a lunatic. But the tale terrified me nonetheless.
"So this is why you drink? This is why you smash people's windows and run around screaming in the middle of the night, saying things are chasing you?"
"You really expect me to believe this?"
He nodded again.
"But if you get drunk you don't see them?"
He continued nodding as I left the bullpen to go use the toilet.
"You're an idiot," I said on my way out.
"You'll see," he said back to me. “Probably any minute.”
I got to the bathroom and did my business, then began to wash my hands in the sink. Scrubbing them with soap and hot water until they stung. Standing there in the quiet bathroom, all alone, I suddenly felt more scared than I had ever felt in my life.
Out of my peripheral vision I saw a dark shape in the mirrored surface of the glass in front of me. It was too close to be my reflection, too sinister and dark. It was moving on its own, and not matching me at all.
I didn’t want to look up. But I found myself doing it anyway. My heart hammering, I looked into the glass and saw a face that was not my own.
There was someone else staring back at me from the glass. Her face was inches away, looking ready to jump out at me.
It was a woman. Her skin looked like she had been poisoned. Her eyes had dark rings around them and her veins stood out prominently, inky black in color. Her flesh was sweaty porcelain, her gaze vacant, as if she didn’t notice me at first.
But then her eyes caught mine and it was like a veil had been lifted between us, and she took me in, her rotten smile growing wider and wider. Black teeth were revealed, and between them where her gums should have been there were a million spiders, crawling outwards, seeking the light, trying to get out. Trying to get at me. Skittering and crawling across her skin, moving down her arms and tracing a path toward me.
More arachnids began to pour out of her hair and out of her eyes as she held back laughter, holding up her hands to bridge the gap between worlds. Reaching out to touch the glass, it shimmered and turned to water for a second, before changing back to glass again.
Wasting no more time, I punched the mirror with my fist, shattering the glass, thankful that my hand didn’t go right through and into that other world.
The pain was exquisite, the blood dripping immediately from the wound and running down my arm, soaking it and staining my uniform with red.
Shards of broken glass could be seen embedded between my knuckles, sprinkled across my skin and driven deep into the flesh in places. Jagged bits of broken glass hung suspended in front of me, some still stuck to the wood where they had once been attached. Pieces fell into the sink, ringing against the porcelain, and I tried not to look into those bloody, shattered reflections for too long.
I felt no pain, though. My heartbeat was still a pounding drum of pure adrenaline, numbing me completely from the agony that I wouldn’t feel until later.
The only sensation coursing through me at that moment was pure fear. Terror as I began to consider how many windows, how many mirrors, and how many pieces of glass I walked past each and every day. What if every one of them suddenly contained a monster, ready to leap out at me the moment I made the mistake of looking at it?
I stumbled out from the bathroom and Randy saw my bloody hand immediately. He stood up and moved closer to me in the cage so he could examine me better.
"You saw them, didn't you?" he asked. "Yeah you did. I told you those fuckers were real. Oh, and I forgot to mention this curse is contagious, so it spreads to anyone you spend too much time with. Now, get your ass in here and have a drink with me. I promise it will help. See, I knew we were gonna be friends. Nothing says martyrdom like a five dollar bottle of scotch. We can be Joans of Arcs together!"
I was too stunned to respond. All I could think to do was follow Dr. Randy’s recommendation: Take a few drinks and try to drown out the demons.
He knew this world better than I did, after all. As much as I thought I had everything figured out, it turns out I didn't know shit about the world, and I didn’t know fuck-all about Hollow’s End.
Taking another glass from the desk, I wiped the cobwebs and dead spiders out of it (trying not to think about the mirror) and poured myself a glass of the cheap scotch and another, smaller one for Randy.
"Okay," I said, sitting down across from him in the cage. "I was wrong. Dead wrong. About everything. Now, can you please tell me what the fuck is going on in this town?"
Randy smiled and began to speak.
You can't talk to outsiders about what happens in Hollow's End, but I'm not an outsider anymore.
Love it or hate it, I'm a part of this place now.
And it's a part of me.. YT TCC
submitted by Jgrupe
to nosleep [link] [comments]
2023.05.27 14:14 Abikalkumar Essen Leipzig
Leipzig is located just above the junction of the Pleisse, Parthe and Weisse Elster rivers, about 185 km southwest of Berlin. Leipzig is located in the fertile lower basin of Leipzig, which has significant deposits of lignite. Although surrounded by a belt of parks and gardens, the city is a major industrial centre and a transport hub and is located in the heart of the Halle-Leipzig metropolitan area. The countryside surrounding the city consists of an intensely cultivated plain. https://www.halloessen.de/en/lieferservice-leipzig #essen #leipzig
submitted by Abikalkumar
to u/Abikalkumar [link] [comments]
2023.05.27 10:36 chimer1cal cakes with less common flavours?
I’m looking to buy a whole birthday cake that isn’t a vanilla cream cake with fruits, chocolate cake, cheesecake, red velvet cake or carrot cake.
Nothing against these cakes! Just want to try something different. E.g. Cedele has a blueberry maple cake and an orange apricot cake. And I know Baker’s Brew does a pistachio rose. Just wondering if there are others out there I don’t know about!
Caveats: - would prefer something available in the west (let’s say between Botanic Gardens and Jurong East) - would prefer to avoid anything overly sweet. I think Plain Vanilla does a lemon meringue cake but that sounds a bit cloying to me…? - would also just prefer to avoid floral flavours like lavender and rose because of some bad experiences with bakers overdoing the flavouring LOL - have considered and discarded the idea of getting an ice cream cake, crepe cake or pie for reasons I won’t go into here
submitted by chimer1cal
to askSingapore [link] [comments]
2023.05.27 08:13 Merebankguy Justice 4 Ella
The other day i was scrolling through craptok and I came across a video of a father holding his small daughter and they was both crying and looked to be in a school gymnasium, upon further investigation I found out the tragic story of yet another father being cut off from his child by a spiteful ex. Below is more information
From a Facebook post...
"So this video just happened the other day only and has gone viral. Back story is the baby mother, with the help of her new live-in boyfriend (guy in white shirt) has completely alienated the baby father from their daughter’s life to the point that she (baby mother) didn’t even invite the baby father to their daughter’s kinder-garden graduation. When the baby father went up to her daughter (who was smiling and running towards him after being cut off from all forms of communication for quite some time), the boyfriend attempted to violently interfere and take the daughter away causing the daughter to cry and be scared. Please check out Justice 4 Ella facebook page.
Other videos here are some random people’s reactions to what happened. All are shocked but in agreement that alienating the father from his own daughter’s life is an evil thing to do, most especially if the daughter and father want to be in each other’s lives.
All stories about Parental Alienation are basically the same. A bitter and narcissistic parent claims “ownership” over a child and prevents any form of contact or communication between the child and the targeted parent. The narcissistic parent is being enabled by his/her family (in this case its the boyfriend). The child will suffer tremendously because of fear, intimidation and coercion by the narcissistic parent and will have severe mental, emotional and psychological damage that he/she will carry out throughout his/her life.
Parental Alienation is happening everywhere. Our country, the Philippines is no different. One has to wonder why lawmakers and law enforcers are not doing anything to correct this. Parental Alienation is plain and simple CHILD ABUSE. And Child Abuse is a CRIME.
Lastly, what is the difference between Parental Alienation and kidnapping?
The answer? NOTHING!"
Link to the post https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid0ZwF2vianMbRWuWNGbvDQZQk687E7T1qT8Gubjz6HYrrTH4eBZz9ztb5tPJEhK69jl&id=1047514987&mibextid=Nif5oz
Link to the father's page https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100092484085707&mibextid=ZbWKwL
submitted by Merebankguy
to MensRights [link] [comments]
2023.05.27 05:00 starfield_pro 4500-2500 BC Atlantis Survivors As REAL Minoan Civilization Hypothesis "Danites"
I was exploring the Saharan Atlantis theory. This is not Richat. Rather, the depression south of Atlas Mountains, near Tunisia, was the plain of Atlantis. This area was thought to have been a large lake or marsh or sea around 5000 BC called Lake Tritonis. The ancient Libyans said a river connected it to the Med, and the city on that river was Nysa whose king was Dionysus. There are also Egyptian drawings which show a "West Nile" which connects the Nile to this Tritonis during the Green Sahara.
I was thinking that this plain, which was flooded during Younger Dryas to become Lake Tritonis, is a better fit for Atlantis because the East and West Mediterraneans were not connected at the time, so the smaller seas south of the Atlas Mountains were the Atlantic sea (someone else had this theory). The pillars of Hercules were formations that made sense at that time. Perhaps Sicily and Malta surrounding a strait that led to Atlantis. This much more easily explains the geopolitics described in Timaeus, as the arena would be only the Eastern Med and proto-Black Sea.
With the Younger Dryas, the Atlanteans flee and eventually found places like Nysa in Tunisia, Memphis in Egypt, Baalbek in Canaan.
Since Indo-Aryans legendarily originate from Bactria/Kashmir area, and Indian mythology identifies that with Manu the flood survivor, then it suggests the degree of the Younger Dryas cataclysm. It's possible Atlanteans had to flee much farther East and one possible location they might have landed would be the Persian Gulf which would have been temperate. I only saw this because a meteor hits the Persian Gulf and sinks it around 5000 BC and this matches with the Noah/Utnapishtim myths and the emergence of cattle from the Taurus mountains which would have been the refuge for that particular calamity.
I reference this because around 4500 BC, there is a lot of activity in the Eastern Med. I propose this is where an Atlantean successor civilization arose founding Nysa, building the pyramids of Giza, being the founders of Canaanite civilization.
The eruption of Mt. Thira is the cataclysm which ends this civilization, and is followed by the Mycenean invasions.
According to Libyan legend, a Greek was made king of Nysa, and led them into battle to support the Greek Zeus who had conquered Egypt. Then, the pair sail to Crete to fight Cronus, who had come over from Canaan to fight there.
If you pin this to the Mycenean invasion of Crete, you can correlate the Exodus, Odyssey and Titanomachy. You might assume the Egyptians are exiled or genocided.
Then, with Lower Egypt weak or unpopulated, the Upper Egyptians move in around 2500 BC and found the first dynasty.
What happens is they apply the names of Egyptian gods to the pyramids. The god of the Great Pyramid might have been Atlas or "Atum" (Adam Kadmon). But an analogue from Upper Egypt, Khufu, is applied. The Cretan satrap, mythologically associated with King Helios, becomes the Upper Egyptian analogue, Min or Minos. The Upper Egyptians try to build a couple pyramids, but fail or find it not worth the effort and quit.
Upper Egyptian mythology syncretizes with Lower Egyptian, and the product becomes the basis for our understanding of Bronze Age "Minoan" history. After heavy influence from Canaanite culture, after the Hyksos are expelled, the emerging Rameses golden age reorganizes Egyptian history and mythology and the "original signal" of an independent, Atlantean Lower Egypt is lost. It can be seen by comparison to Canaan where no clear Canaanite influence on Egypt, to explain similar motifs, appears.
Based on the common appearance of the name, I would call this post-Atlantean civilization "Danite" and probably Tuatha de Danaan are survivors of it.
The "Danite" language being the progenitor to the Semitic language tree. We see Danite civilization disappears 2500 BC as Amorite and Akkadian languages and civilization emerges.
It's because the "Danites" were killed, exiled, or entirely assimilated and syncretized into other cultures that we have no record of them as progenitors of the post-"Minoan" world. A similar example is with the Etruscans, whose culture and language almost entirely evaporated and we'd know nothing of them save the Roman inclination to remember them and the existence of some inscriptions and so forth. Within Rome itself though, the Etruscan language and culture just gave up and became Roman.
If we assume this was the fate of the "Danite" Atlanteans, in an era with less writing, where we still had spectacular cataclysms like the Bronze Age Collapse ahead, then a phantom Danite civilization works.
Thus, 4500-2500BC, mistakenly called "Minoan" era. In fact the era of the survivors and successors to Atlantis, the true pyramid builders, wiped out in the true Exodus by the eruption of Thira and Mycenean invasions.
EDIT: As for Richat, I have always for some reason connected it to the "Squatting Man" phenomenon hypothesis. The base of some horrific cataclysmic plasma event. And this man is "King Atlas" or "Adam Kadmon" whom Atlantis worshipped. From this event, the Atlas Mountains get their name. Thus I see Richat and Atlas linked. Finally, for the Green Sahara Atlantis, perhaps we can imagine Richat as a sacred structure for Atlanteans. Perhaps a "heavenly temple" like, the "real" Atlantis where the spirits live. And the actual city of Atlantis was built as kind of a duplicate mundane counterpart.
EDIT2: The meaning of Danaan is essentially from the great river goddess. In Greek mythology, Danaus is the king of Egypt who migrates to Argos in Greece, and his wife is Nilus the river Nile. I think this really emphasizes that the Danites are the people of Egypt and the Nile, who end up part of the Greek culture later. They migrate to Cilicia during the Sea Peoples era under a Mopsus or Moxus (Moses?) and from there fill in the valleys down all the way to Northern Israel.
As for the connections to Welsh and Irish languages (that is, similarities with Hebrew), one theory is a "Proto-Phoenician" trade empire from 4500-2500 BC which had visited Britain and so forth.
A lot of history is coming together on the identity of this Danite-Egyptian 4500-2500BC empire which fell to the eruption of Thira and was replaced by the Greeks, the Akkadians and the Upper Egyptians.
It makes a lot of sense for these people to be the pyramid builders, and that would likely make them Atlantis survivors whose civilization rebooted after the 5000 BC Persian Gulf meteor.
This means that the bridge civilization between Atlantis and Danite Egypt would have been in the Sahara, and the famous city "Nysa" of Dionysus would have been part of it.
The Danites would have been the European megalith builders.
EDIT 3: We need to see the Great Pyramid in the context of the Egyptian Atum-Ra cult, with Atum as Polus/Coeus the world pillar. This means the Pyramids have to do with Atlas.
Notice how Hercules's labor with Atlas has him visit the garden of hesperides the nymphs of the dawn, and get a golden apple from a tree guarded by a serpent? Atlas = Atum = Adam.
The island of Dawn in the see with nymph/fairie women is repeated with the Isle of Avalon, and the Slavic Bunyan where the Zoryas live.
We should see that Egyptian-Danite civilization is teaching about old Atlantis in these myths which become Slavic mythology or Hebrew or Greek mythology. With parts present in the solar cult of Egypt.
EDIT 4: In Mediterranean mythologies, there's two generations of gods. In the first, some God is the world pillar himself, holding up the cosmos, a kind of crucified giant. In the second generation, a craftsman builds a solar bull to fulfill this role somehow.
I think the Danite concept was to build the Pyramids as a kind of replacement for the sacred Atlas mountains, which had failed to hold up the cosmos (younger dryas comet), with Daedalos/Imhotep/Kaveh as the craftsman to build a mechanical Talos, a Minotaur, a manufactured substitute to the crucified world giant.
This concept arrives into Egyptian mythology, where Pharaoh is the counterpart to the heavenly high priest and is meant to organize Egyptian society to match on Earth the pattern of the stars, as above, so below, to maintain cosmic harmony.
EDIT5: Thinking that the Danite civilization starts after the Persian Gulf meteor I’ve wondered if the bridge between Atlantis and Danites was the Tower of Babel civilization and in the pre-sunk Persian Gulf.
Babel is about the confusing of tongues and the Sumerian similar legend is very old and discusses the land of Dilmun (Qatar) and the Apsu. The Apsu is the underground freshwater sea, the aquifer but it USED to be the sea itself until Tiamat (saltwater sea) covered it.
I think Apsu was a system of lakes and irrigation on the Persian Gulf before it was flooded, and the the legend of Tiamat is about the flooding and drawing well water from Apsu recalls the old irrigation.
This “Babel” was said to be comprised of all nations, so perhaps that means the survivors of the Younger Dryas gathered there. I need to check glacier melt and so forth.
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2023.05.27 02:39 Vinyl_Avarice HPN to Providence. Ok.. LOL
2023.05.26 20:22 MascotGuy2077 TCAP and HVP predators ranked by how bad their pasts, chats, and interactions were.
2023.05.26 19:32 MajnaBunny Legion of monster: Sanguine ... 31
Down the rabbit hole of the Bureau we go to see what horrors and wonders lie hidden upon and within the earth unearthed by an alien invasion...
Story connects My Moral Grey Area
and his Legion of monsters
stories. First Previous
Next Legion of monsters: Sanguine … 31 the House of Dealan Pilotpriest, Future is dead
Arthur and his wives had been informed of the dress and … armament requirements that would be needed for their foray below and when he saw what the girls unveiled, he visibly winced.
Of course, there was some confusion in his disdain for their armour but Arthur insisted and within the hour they had travelled out to a place almost literally round the corner from the houses of parliament.
As he approached the old stone arch with its thick wrought iron door Arthur suddenly remembered the particulars of mixing Shil’vati and confined spaces.
“Um, I'm sorry but it slipped my mind that this place is underground.” He said, chuckling as his wives all gave him a cold disapproving look.
Arthur knew that just banging on the door would not open it so he pursed his lips and whistled the tune of the nursery rhyme pop goes the weasel while resting his hand on a very specific glassy green stone beside the doorway.
The clunk of a door deeper down the passage opening made him smile to his wives to reassure them that everything was okay.
As the chains rattled on the other side of the door, he heard the guard’s deep breath and several deep sniffs at the air, there was a deep animal growl, Arthur without meaning to swallowed dryly at what he knew was about to emerge.
The door swung open showing it to be a literal foot thick slab of metal, but from behind it stepped a man who emerged from his stoop in the hall to stare down at Arthur and look level eyed at his wives.
The man appeared Jamaican by descent by his predominant skin colour and hairstyle of dreadlocks, his face was mottled with vitiligo across his cheeks and brow speckling his brown skin with splotches of white, those eyes were brown but tinged yellow around the iris and his nails were thick and pointed claws.
This was a werewolf in human form, one that was not too shy about its inhuman traits being plain to see.
“Is master Ancetto in?” asked Arthur politely.
The doorman leaned over to be eye level with Arthur looking him in the eyes then looking past him to the four shil’vati behind him.
“Sebastian, they are my wives and I am looking to ensure they are well protected.” Stated Arthur.
Standing up straight the wolf in a man’s form smiled broadly displaying his fanged teeth as he then said in a deep Jamaican accent.
“Sooooh, da boy aboot town haz finally found someone’s dey is confortable with… doh-nah stress he is in, shall ah call da gent as well?” he asked smiling down at him.
Arthur nodded, and the guard looking over him to the four shil’vati women he smiled wider saying.
“Ladies, Welcome mahster Ancetto the artifaycer is down deez stairs mind your eads, dis tunnel wah made by shortah people dan us.”
As the guard turned Arthur let out the breath he was holding.
Gly’nrie and Imizael cast him an odd look.
“It’s okay I was just worried that he might turn us away is all, they are very particular about who they allow in past the doors.” Said Arthur as he followed the giant guard down the well-lit old stone stairs.
As they reached the bottom, they entered a room with much taller ceilings panelled with wood but also lined with hooks to take the coats of guests, the guard went back upstairs and could be heard locking the door behind them.
Coming back down he bowed slightly saying.
“You be da first sheel-vahti’s ever to be in-vye-ted to this place lay-deez we strictly insist that only trusted wehl known customah’s can introduce uthars to dis place, Arthur noh dah mahsters wohk very well, he wearin one of our suits right now he is.”
Another door opened and out came a well-dressed thinly built gentleman who looked almost totally albino, paper white skin and hair on a balding head, his eyes were only the faintest grey as only his glasses sharp red metallic frames applied any colour to his strictly monotone black and white attire.
“Master Gwydion, I trust that these people are both the ones you contacted me about and that they are well within the rules I insist upon?” asked the well-dressed man as he narrowed his gaze at Arthur.
“Master Ancetto, these are my wives!” said Arthur with a hint of sharpness in his voice but he held out a hand gesturing to each in turn.
“From left to right Viscountess Shal’endra Isilynor, Baroness Gly’nrie Xyrcaryn, Duchess Imizael Balcyne, and Marquess Miralana Umegwyn … we are expected to perform a diplomatic duty somewhere very, very dangerous and were told that it would be considered unseemly to arrive at said event in anything less than full battle armour.” Said Arthur politely.
The last time he had been here was being fitted for several suit’s both business and otherwise with armoured enhancement by Sir Philip and even then, it had been made plain that this was not a bureau establishment and that it served the needs of very special elite clientele of all types and strived for absolute neutrality.
“Battle armour for a diplomatic duty?” said Master Ancetto with a hint of a smile.
Arthur sighed, rubbing his brow.
“We have been invited to the investiture of a kind of lord before a council of similar lords in a very strange place I only recently learned existed, the lord in question is a former bureau agent called Sanguine.” said a blushing Arthur.
Master Ancetto smiled for the first time in front of Arthur, the corners of his mouth drew back very wide exposing fangs, his eyes, once milky grey, turned a startling sky blue as he rose a foot from the ground floating mid-air.
“You are attending the investiture of a lord of the depths?” said the now floating master Ancetto before a shocked Arthur.
“Yes.” Arthur replied nervously realising very quickly the signs of a grey stood before him.
“Then it is good that YOU came here to me, I was born of the depths and until recently I was exiled… recent changes have altered this… I have to say you are going to see wonders I long to see again, I am jealous but my duties tie me to this place a while longer.” Said the grinning telepathic vampire in front of them.
Leading them through another door they found themselves in an armourer’s workshop equal to any in imperial space they had seen with both power armour and lighter armoured garments being worked upon by a plethora of people both grey and rather obviously cyborgs.
The man performing servo maintenance on the power armour had multiple mechanical limbs extending spider-like from his back and even a multi-lensed prosthetic eye on his right-side which swivelled all three mechanical eyes to look at these new arrivals.
“As you can see, we create all manner of attire from heavy powered armour,” remarked master Ancetto as he gestured to the spider mechanic as he resumed his work, “to the finer and more flexible protection.” He said gesturing to a suit not unlike Arthurs which was having flexible polymer armour inserts applied.
“But this is all what one would consider as commonplace for the surface world.” He said as a black cube floated up beside him then, morphed into a suit of insectile armour around the body of master Ancetto… “You will be needing finer attire in the depths.”
IIIIIIIIIIIIII Ixion OST, Across the void
Bellaluna watched as one of the Sanguine’s sparred with Zilyana.
One of the older one’s was sat beside her at her table sipping tea as they perused the options available from master Ancetto’s armourer’s.
They were sat within a glass roofed garden, the environment inside was absolutely not one you would ever see on the surface of earth, the dark red barked trees throbbed with bioluminescence between their scaled bark as their shimmering jewel like obsidian crystal leaves tingled and rang like crystal glass windchimes as they swayed in the breeze created by the room’s climate controls.
This was what the Ancetto clan called their hidden jewel, a garden made of depth’s native plants and a few insects in its center was a sparring ground for customers to acquaint themselves with their armour’s properties.
Bellaluna examined the possibilities available and found that many options were familiar to her thanks to the prevalence for noble families to outfit their daughters with Exo armour.
Only these suits were not the nine to ten feet tall armoured behemoth suits she knew, these were skin tight suits of biopolymer synthetic muscle synchronized directly to the user’s nervous systems through either telepathic or cybernetic means.
They self-repaired and maintained themselves and acted as a combination of life support system and power armoured combat body glove amplifying the wearers speed endurance and reaction times by a factor of two while allowing Exo levels of raw strength and physical power.
All while incorporating multiple strange biological systems requiring specialised “bio-ports” to be installed to allow the suit to interact symbiotically with its wearer's anatomy allowing it to sustain the host without water or food in the depths for months by recycling their sweat and waste.
Setting everything to its most basic Bellaluna took stock of what she could estimate to be the bare bones of a basic depths soldier.
It was an army of five-to-six-foot bio-armoured soldiers able to live for months without food water or resupply all while being able to jog at speeds near to that of Terran cheetahs, go toe to toe against Exo’s in hand to hand while being faster and smaller, and be able to self-triage when wounded, as the suit was designed if a limb was severed to seal the wound and assist its host in growing a new limb?
And that was the basic model.
“Sanguine?” she asked getting the attention of both the fully grown man beside her and the boy sparring with Zilyana.
“Got you!” exclaimed Zilyana proudly as she held the blade near Sanguine 1898’s neck.
Chink ! ….. That sound made Zilyana’s eyes drop to find a blade poised to do something drastic to her crotch.
“Shit.” Was all she could say to that.
Then the boy did something that made her freeze in shock, he leaned his cheek against her blade and without a single sign of pain opened an inch deep gash up on his cheek.
Then moving away from the blade, he pressed his fingers to the side of the wound pulling it open so she could see into it as with a mental effort he made the flesh seal and mend, the sight making her shudder in revulsion.
1898 nodded, sighing before he said.
“Flesh sculptors and their ilk are infamously capable of surviving decapitation, for next time if you are poised to cleave one open young Zilyana, have something like an incendiary grenade ready to shove deep inside the wound when you do as in their haste to heal, they will seal the flesh around it creating a much worse wound when the grenade detonates.” Said the boy clone in an aloof tone.
Zilyana snarled in offense but a faint growl from the older Sanguine beside Bellaluna caught her attention, and reminded her that yes this was but a boy in front of her, but it was also the weakest part of Sanguine and as such the least challenging one for Zilyana to fight.
“What did you want Bellaluna?” asked the older clone 818 beside her returning his focus to the interior mistress as the two in the ring resumed their practice.
Handing him her omni-slate she asked.
“Is this a good approximation of the basic depths soldier?”
Sanguine perused the screen with his eyes, the faint smirk on his face and the raising of an eyebrow told her that he had found her assumption amusing.
“For scav teams and tunnel runners yeah, proper city patrol wear,” he tapped several options then showed her the screen again, “this.” He said, showing a much heavier suit.
Bellaluna took back her slate and looked over the selections that Sanguine had put in, several options were highlighted as needing special licenses to acquire but the resulting armour was closer to power armour to her eyes with heavy plate armour requiring extensive mechanical articulation and amplified muscular systems bringing it closer to being something between an Exo and the baseline bio armour she had chosen.
“This is for the police?” she said with some incredulity.
“That bio-suit you showed me in terms of ease of acquisition akin to a basic Kevlar vest,” he said then handed her his slate, “For proper military assaults you would want the depths call a nomad suit which is what’s on that slate.”
Looking down at what was on her slate the resulting suit was much sleeker than the heavily plated police suit but the price was close to ten times more and resulted in a matte black suit heavier than the basic bio-suit but the list of extras said a lot.
Full NBC countermeasures rated for minimum two years survival time in contaminated environments under a mixture of biological toxic and radiological hazards.
In-built bio-support allows the suit to digest inedible substances to sustain its host, including the extraction of oxygen from ingested materials and water to allow the host to survive in environments with minimal to no atmosphere for extended periods.
In-built suit support mind and thus also its own barriers to allow it to shield itself, which required either the host be psychic or the installation of a neural symbiote on the hosts spine to ensure the suit can always remain in contact with the host.
Integrated pig plasma pulse guns in the bracers, retractable monofilament blades and claws and reinforced synth muscle and armour allowing for nearly four times the power of a police suit.
Bellaluna could feel her eyebrows going higher and higher, you could almost say she suspected them of trying to emigrate over her scalp to flee down her neck.
“How fucking dangerous is it down there?” said Bellaluna with a noticeable squeak in her voice at the shocking details of this virtual Exo that the depths considered a standard line solider.
Sanguine again smiled but it quickly faded away as he said.
“You sent salvage expeditions to Mars, full marine detachments, all manner of advanced digging equipment even tried to use some orbital fire to blast your way down below the surface.” He stated staring at her intently, this was not a question, this was a statement.
“Tiamat’s children are nothing if not tireless, so I will only say on that matter that they are not cruel, any trespasser would have died quickly, cruelty is a trait only found in the more human breeds of tyrant bio-forms.” He remarked with a melancholy smirk.
“Most if not all of them are a misguided bureau attempt to domesticate and weaponize things commonly found in the various bio-domes residing below, there are all manner of different environments across the universe preserved down there.”
He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out what appeared to be a packet of settock nuts judging by the picture on the packet, which were something native to the shil’vati home-world, only these were in a packet daubed in a language she did not recognise.
“You call them settock nuts, I grew up calling them Kalzee and eating them as part a traditional meal in the depths called Ahrical,” the look of confusion on Bellaluna’s face spurred him into expanding his description, “The basic sauce is kind of a sweet red gravy like what you would expect of the human sweet and sour chicken, like a lot of grey cooking it has finely ground up iron rust powder mixed in the sauce but you can get it without.” Bellaluna’s face became more confused.
“The meat and nuts are simmered in this sauce on a low heat over several hours till cooked, then the sauce left to cool overnight, the next day sliced fresh fruit and vegetables are added and mixed with the cold sauce, its eaten with Sahsan a kind of salty cone shaped biscuit bread about cob or bun size that I would describe as halfway between naan bread and a tortilla with a soft inner side and a crispy outside that’s like a tortilla,” he remarked.
“You use the bread like a spoon to scoop up the Ahrical eating both as you go, it’s only the non-psychics down there that use cutlery.” He said smiling as he pointed to one of the Ancetto armourers sat eating his evening meal in the garden, a chunky reddish soup using small cones telekinetically to scoop up the bowls contents.
“Ahrical?” she asked Sanguine.
“No, that's something more common up here, beef bolognaise with pasta shells, but the bread is Sahsan.” He replied.
It was at this point that the small packet of settock nuts leapt off the table and an old man in a finely crafted suit of chitinous armour snaffled half the bag greedily.
“Kalzee,” he said with a blissful voice through a half full mouth as he savoured the nuts, “Can we have more of these brought up with the armour material shipments, I would pay their weight in gold for more of these.” Said an uncharacteristically uncouth Master Ancetto as his escorting cadre of four shil’vati and a single male human customer looked at him oddly.
Sanguine laughed before pointing to Bellaluna and saying.
“Sahngah those nuts grow on the shil homeworld,” he said to the old grey armourer, “they’re a common snack food, they sell in the vending machines on their bases.” He said with a toothy grin.
Master ‘Sahngah’ Ancetto looked to Bellaluna expectantly saying.
“You have Kalzee on your world?” he said with an odd intensity.
“Settock nuts,” said a bemused Bellaluna, “commonly roasted and put in bags with salt and spices.” She said seeing the old man’s eyes light up during her explanation.
Then the master looked at Sanguine and said rather excitedly.
“Mahak-sa Sanguine, do you know of any other foods they have that I might recognise?” he asked the seated clone 818.
“Mahak-sa?” said the lone confused human that had been accompanying the old master armourer.
Sanguine rose from his seat and approached the human smiling, he was well aware of this human, and what he really was under his genteel appearance.
“You must be Arthur Gwydion,” he stated crossing his arms and staring oddly intensely into the human’s eyes, “Mahak-sa is an honorific, a title it means that I am in essence I am a king, khan or emperor of one of the cities or domains of the depths, at least I will be officially soon.”
Arthur to his credit caught on quickly.
“So, you’re that Sanguine, the one who we are to escort down there as part of the delegation.” He said, taking a slight step back with what looked to be a nervous smile.
Sanguine 818 all six foot eight of him stared down at Arthur, his red on blue eyes glinting from his ashen white face, his grin framed by his white beard.
The dragon’s boon had brought more of the wolf out in him resulting in him being taller and more muscular with snow white hair on cream white skin… that this also caused slight grey speckling on the roots of his changed black horns was a little odd.
“Mahak-sa Sanguine Nah’gratha Mourdin, Grandson of the Ancient of Ahrama’geidahn Aihbael Nah’gratha Mourdin who is brother to the Gorr Mah’kjan,” he said seeing the evident confusion.
“Gorr Mah’kjan means the god king of the depths Kain Reish Mouridin, the one who swept the dead sea crater clean with a wave of reanimated dead.” Said Sanguine with a little hint of a smirk.
The way all five of them froze in apparent fright like a deer in headlights at that detail summoned a chuckle out of Sanguine.
Still for all his amusement his mind’s full attention was elsewhere, dealing with more important matters than this.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Darktide OST, Main theme
Tanis was a male Exo pilot in the shil’vati military which was a rarity but also, he was a single male pilot without a wife bound to him which was even rarer and his team were part of the support Exo’s of the local insurgent suppression unit tasked with keeping Massachusetts relatively calm and maintain it as a yellow zone.
It had begun as a raid of a suspected insurgent base at a mansion in a small town called Innsmouth, the brief had mentioned something about a cult, add in the area according to the marines muttered rumors being oddly infamous for lots of sightings of strange mutant fish monsters apparently, sightings which the incumbent regional government apparently had suppressed prior to the empire’s arrival for reasons unknown.
As they struck the marines storming in it quickly became apparent to her that more was going on, her unit commander Searsa kept switching comms channels, obviously their noble captain had been keeping details from them as shortly after the marines stormed in the shrill screams and shouts of ghastly horror filled the open coms as echoing the las-fire took up a cadence only heard during moments of sheer extremes, frantic fully automatic the fall back of the desperate and terrified.
The sounds of Las-Fire rattled out from inside the mansion punctuated by screams and strange gurgling roars as the unit commander started shouting into her coms, the words muffled and unintelligible under her Exo Armour's closed visor.
“What the fuck is making that noise?” Tanis asked and the commander whirled on him, a rebuke plainly mere moments from utterance.
Only for the screams and las-fire to stop, this shifted everyone's attention to the mansion’s doors.
Whispered chants oozed out of the air hissing and uttered in barely pronounceable mantras, the very shadows around them seemed to move with odd sinister momentum.
Then the mansion's doors slid open and a sea of darkness lay within, Tanis could feel something writhing within that inky depth but his ears alerted him to an odd silence.
Turning he beheld a true nightmare, monstrous things half fish half human assailed the marines in total silence, their screams and las-fire completely silent all sound lacking as marines were eviscerated and monsters devoured them alive.
Turning Tanis opened fire and in an instant all the riotous noise of the world came back.
“WHAT THE FUCK!” bellowed his commander in shock as the sudden return of sound snapped her out of whatever fugue had gripped her.
The rest of the unit took moments longer to regain their senses, moments enough for one of the monsters to grab a hold of a team mate called Kaunt, the monsters skin rippled under shredding las repeater fire but still it heaved and tore open her armour to thrust its maw inside to get at the pilot.
Tanis acted stepping forth he drove his armour’s fist flat like a blade into its ribs and with a sucking squelch tore out its insides before pushing it off Kaunt, but she was already dead.
Turning he hosed down a mass of swirling something that moved out of the corner of his eye and bellowed to his commander.
“We need to move!” but she stood visor open staring at him like she was drunk as a swirling tendril of shadows curled round her and touched her face, Searsa a woman barely a year older than himself let out a strangled groan as before Tanis’s horrified eyes the years passed in seconds and she withered away inside her armour.
The other women were similarly dumbstruck and barely moving, snaking shadows binding their feet as they stood immobile and insensate.
“DEMON!” roared a man’s voice and a blast of blinding white light rocked the mansion's doorway.
Around them had appeared soldiers clad in silver armour carrying blades that crackled with eldritch energy and guns that spat globs of blinding light that left after images in Tanis’s vision.
Thanks to Tanis’s cursory examination of this world’s history, he recognised something of these warrior’s armour and stylings, these were knights? And if their armour and cruciform symbology was anything to go by these were some forms of paladins.
There in the doorway one of them struggled with a figure that was as much a shadow as it was possibly a human being, snapping lightning exposed their struggles amidst that living darkness inside the house.
Tanis did the only thing that seemed to make sense after all of this he levelled his repeater on that shadow and fired.
Pulsed laser fire was swallowed by the darkness but a hissing roar of anger emerged, its attention shifted to Tanis and he felt something horrifying reaching for him but the paladin was on it fast cleaving down through its skull with one blade while another was driven into its chest.
In one lurching moment the shadows dispersed leaving the paladin stood blades pinning a withered old corpse.
Across the battlefield that had been the mansion's lawn the monsters broke and fled running back towards the mansion as the marines and what little of the Exo’s snapped from their fugue and opened fire on their fleeing assailants.
But then the ground heaved and rumbled, the paladins leapt back as the mansion collapsed into a chasm that had apparently been below it?
A shuddering growl rumbled in the air and ripples of that same unnatural darkness oozed out from the pit now exposed as up from it rose what to Tanis’s shocked eyes was a miniature black hole.
An orb of utter darkness as a big as a small ship tore free of the ground swirling mist like shadows cloaked it as the monsters hurled themselves towards its surface their flesh as they got close liquifying and becoming an orbiting ring of wailing meat around the orb which spat jets of steaming ichor out towards them.
One jet swallowed up a group of marines near Tanis and in moments their armour and flesh just dissolved leaving behind steaming bones.
“EVADE! … PULL BACK … EVADE!” roared Tanis and what little of his fellows not still gripped in fugue obeyed and fled, but the paladins stood their ground.
He saw some carrying large egg-shaped things tangled in roots towards the orb, his ponderings answered as he saw one hurled at the ominous thing, it crackled with energy as it drew close sticking to its surface there was a howling shriek as more were hurled onto its surface.
Finally, as it orbited with dozens of these things stuck to its surface the blasted orb just dropped back into its hole whatever dark power once animating it spent.
Still the paladins did not rest, more of those egg-like things were brought forth as well as lengths of massive chains as big as those you would anchor a ship with their surfaces etched with symbols that seemed to make Tanis’s eyes itch as he looked at them.
As they swarmed into the chasm Tanis could hear shrieking wails and screams that shook him to his core, moving to the chasms edge he stared down to see that they were chaining up and binding this thing lashing it to a frame they were building around it with the kind of haste one expects only with plentiful practice.
“All units form up and arrest those men!” bellowed the voice of their noble captain across the comms, turning Tanis surveyed the remnants of their force, barely a handful remained, many were horribly mauled by either the monsters or being caught by the acidic sprays, many more were simply catatonic in shock and were either stood or sat staring into empty space as if still entranced by the dispersing fugue.
The rest were rushing about trying to tend to the wounded or take stock of what the hell had just happened, even the Exo’s pride of the shil’vati military were stumbling broken and still in shock.
“I said Arrest those men!” bellowed the captain now outside of her mobile command unit pointing to the nearest paladin.
Tanis coughed as he stifled a laugh at the looks of incredulity passing across the marines, they knew that they had just been saved by these knights and the look of hesitation was evident everywhere Tanis looked.
“I SAID!” she roared, only for a bolt of lightning to snap out and reduce her in an instant to just a greasy smear of cooked meat and tattered armour.
One of the paladins was floating towards the MCU, his armour crackling with electricity as his eyes glowed like small suns through the slits of his visor.
The armoured vehicle peeled open under invisible forces and her command staff were plucked out and thrown to the ground beside the still steaming remains of the captain.
“Your captain was commanded by her own betters to stand aside and leave this matter to us, and she ignored this, her officers knew what they were facing and thought themselves prepared.”
As one of the captain’s lieutenants snapped off several bolts of las-fire at the floating paladin from her side arm they impacted a bubble of energy around him, the shots fizzling to nothing.
In a flash he hurled towards them the first he touched his fingers to her brow and she just evaporated in a spray of blue, ducking and twirling out of the way of the seconds wild firing she erupted into flames with a gesture.
The third tried to shoot herself, the pistol aimed up at her own skull swatted out of her hand in the last moment telekinetically the paladin clapped his hands together and the woman officer simply imploded.
Number four the one who had shot at him when he had been floating dropped her pistol.
“You were her sister trusted by the generals and admirals to keep your hot-headed sister in line.” Snarled the paladin as he produced an omni-slate from his armour.
“This is a warrant of execution for this woman, signed by six of this world’s ruling nobles… In ancient times when warriors failed so severely on this world they were made into a severe example, some were even given the honour to hurl themselves on their own swords to answer for their shame.” Said the paladin.
He removed his helm revealing a snow-white face with luminous blue eyes and black curved horns on his brow, as a long mane of startling white hair whipped about in an eldritch breeze.
“I am not as merciful to those who defy me!” he hissed as his mouth opened far too wide for a human revealing a set of very sharp canine teeth more akin to the mouth of a dog or very large cat.
He shot forward driving his fist into her guts folding the officer in half as she shot off her feet showing the force of the blow.
She begged, she pleaded but no one tried to help her as this supernaturally empowered man beat her savagely finally ending her by driving his thumbs into her eye sockets.
Tanis had been inching closer by the minute as he and everyone else watched this sentence be passed, the warrant and its signatures visible on their head up displays for every marine around them.
Finally, as Tanis drew close enough, he popped open his visor and simply asked.
“Who the fuck are you, and what in the deep minders barnacle ridden salty clam hole is going on?”
The paladin turned to him revealing a youthful if angularly gaunt face which smiled.
“I am Sanguine 984 hunter of demons and monsters,” he said with obvious mirth, “to you this will be one of the most confounding and horrible days of your life…… to me it’s just another FUCKING Tuesday doing my job.” He said as the other paladins pulled that dark orb out of the chasm by the chains, that faint agonised whine now a faint whisper, the very sight of that thing made Tanis’s eyes twitch.
“HEY!” barked the one calling himself Sanguine, to focus their attention on him, “not a good idea to stare at it like that, just try and ignore it until the transport arrives, staring at it will fry your brain cells and make you a mindless shell.” He said gesturing to one of the catatonic marines.
With that the paladin took a rag from his pocket and started to wipe the blood and viscera from his gauntlets saying.
“Stare too long causes brain burn, hollows you out, nothing left of your memories or mind, just a still breathing corpse with enough brain not turned to mush to keep the organs ticking but little else.”
Tanis looked to the many catatonic marines staring blankly into space, a cold horrified dread welling up inside at the sight of the living dead around them.
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2023.05.26 17:07 JohnMainGuy Douglas DC-3 "Second Chance"
2023.05.26 15:01 MostBotsAreBad Tick Management 4
Trying to think of what else might be relevant.
- Our neighbor tried having nematodes applied to his lawn. In theory, the nematodes invade ticks' bodies and release microbes that kill the ticks. The service he used told him the nematodes ate tick eggs, but apparently that's not how it works. We couldn't tell if it helped or not; it's hard to guess how many ticks you would have seen if you didn't do the thing.
Using a professional service was expensive, by my standards, and I know you can buy nematode mixes and apply them as a DIY project, but . . . success rates seem mixed. Some mixes claim to work on ticks, and some don't, and some claim they kill hundreds of species of 'bad' insects and worms but no species of 'good' ones, which is ridiculously suspicious. I mostly people online saying they use nematodes successfully to control gnats in greenhouses. I don't know the ecological impact of spraying millions of nematodes on a garden or lawn. So I haven't tried them, myself, as yet.
- We've tried a few different tick traps. Tick traps theoretically work best to catch ticks when you're not around, as you're not competing with the traps to lure the ticks. Our cats all prefer high sleeping perches, so we figured a trap on the floor that was in the bedroom might eliminate any stray ticks that were in the laundry hamper, etc.
A lightbulb-and-sticky-mat trap didn't catch any. The one we tried is a common type (mostly sold to catch fleas, but some say ticks, etc, too) that has a small bulb to generate light and heat, plus a replaceable sticky mat. I put a plastic mesh (meant for rain gutters) around it to keep mice (if any) and curious cats from getting stuck. It caught nothing after weeks, but it's possible there were no ticks to catch. One hopes.
- We tried a product called Tick Sticker, which is a fold-up open-ended little box, very sticky inside, that comes with an attractant lure thing you put inside. The lure does smell, not so much that the whole room smells. The Tick Sticker caught a fruit fly, and that's it. I put one in a semi-enclosed outdoor area where I frequently see ticks, in a slightly larger box with some holes punched in it, and it caught no ticks. I don't think the lure works well for ticks.
- Yeast Trap. I made a DIY tick trap that's a shoebox-sized plastic bin. I drilled holes in the side, more than big enough for ticks but not much bigger, about a quarter of an inch in diameter. Then I put carpet tape (strong, wide double-stick tape) on the inside, below the holes, and put a cup in the center. Add water, sugar, and yeast, and you get a yeasty froth that puts out a fair bit of carbon dioxide.
This trap caught many identical small beetles that my bug identifier app couldn't identify, but they might be pollen beetles. It didn't catch anything else. I tried it three times, in three locations, and all I got was beetles.
- Octenol Trap. Some people online think ticks, like mosquitoes, are attracted to octenol, which is commonly sold as mosquito bait, mostly as a refill for professional mosquito traps. The kind I bought is a 30-day gel in a pouch about the size of a matchbox. I cleaned up my yeast trap and retaped it and put an octenol lure in, thinking maybe I'd only catch mosquitoes. After four days, I hadn't caught anything whatsoever, at two locations. Mosquitoes might think the trap is too low or not want to squeeze through the holes.
Catching nothing doesn't prove anything, unfortunately. I don't have a lab where I can put a trap in a closed transparent cabinet that has thirty ticks in it. (I don't really want
a lab like that, although it would help.)
- When I do actually go looking for ticks, the easiest way to find them is to go to things I think they're hiding around, move those things and loiter a bit, and then come back a few minutes later. Flower pots, garden tools, the bench we have in our garden, etc. If there are ticks hiding in or around that stuff, they'll come looking for me and expose themselves. They're not intentionally sneaky. They have a dumb confidence you can use against them.
We're in the habit of picking up a trowel, a watering can, a spray bottle, whatever, and holding it out to look it over before we use it. The paranoia is hard to shake. If you find a tick once a week, it's enough to keep you on your toes.
- I will say, or rather repeat, that packing tape is the most useful tool I've acquired for handling ticks. They seem to clamber around a lot before they manage to bite, but they can cling like professional wrestlers, and it can be hard to dislodge them from whatever under control. I lost one in the car, once, after pulling it off my neck (it was still walking around), and I had to pull over, get out of the car, and scour it until I found the tick. Inconvenient.
But at work I had a customer from much further up north who'd just picked a loose tick off his friend and wanted my help disposing of it. Scotch tape did the job well enough. He'd caught the tick, though, not with his fingers, but by taking his sock off and turning it inside out. He said this was a common trick up north, and that ticks prefer fuzzy fabric to anything, even skin. His friend, who had no prior experience with ticks, confirmed that the tick had crawled right off his bare arm and onto the sock immediately.
I have not tried this trick. I'm sure it wouldn't work on a tick that's already bitten and is locked in. But apparently that's a folk method that's sworn by. I've also heard that ticks sometimes get 'lost' trying to climb up fuzzy socks, and an hour later they still haven't managed to climb off the top of the sock. You can buy textured gaiters that are supposed to work this way, although they get mixed reviews. But any fabric meant to help has to not be porous enough so ticks can climb through
it, of course.
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2023.05.26 13:44 xx__christiee Thinking of starting - few questions first...
I have always said I need something super strict to succeed in losing weight and came across 75 hard after seeing Bishoikhella pop up on my reels feed. I haven't stopped thinking about the challenge since.
I'll be honest, I am in the worst state of my life, I am the heaviest, the un-fittest (talking out of breath walking with my 5yo) and the unhealthiest, my diet is almost all junk.
Now I'd be using the challenge to completely change ALL of that, I want to lose a lot of weight, gain a lot of fitness and cut out all the junk food, I have been trying to moderate junk food for a while, but it's got to go. I plan to also hopefully do 2 rounds and cut caffeine for the second round, I get all my caffeine from coca cola and energy drinks so it needs to go but I want to concentrate of junk food first.
My questions anyway:
4 litres of plain water ---- 4 LITRES?! I spend my days peeing if I drink just 1.5 litre - does it get easier?
2x 45 minute workouts - can I do my outdoor one in the garden or do I have to go out out?
Can I do a different workout daily?
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