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Some quick background: This diary was written by a Manchu soldier who served in a combined unit of Mongols and Manchus , he was sort of like a nowadays squad leader, for he had 4 soldiers under his command. The diary itself covered a period of roughly 3 years: from the New year's day of 1680 to 1682, and it mainly focused on the author's military career during the Manchu conquest of the southern China. Although as you can probably tell, the author himself was not exactly the most educated and bright guy on the earth and due to the nature of his job this diary's narration suffered badly from many huge gaps, it was a really unique and valuable piece of historical source.
In the reign of Elhetaifin khan(the original text omitted this title here, yet the author did use Khan to address his monarch in the later part of the dairy), in year 19, the canary monkey year of the Manchu calendar.
The new year‘s day: General Manggitv(this is apparently either a spelling mistake or a nickname, since this general's name was actually Manggitu as we can find from the later part of the diary and other history sources) led his councilors,janggins (a Manchu military title)and local officials to the city of Nan ning fu (The word fu already means city in Chinese , but the author,as a Manchu, clearly was unaware of it and he probably thought it is a part of the city’s name. So in the original text he wrote Nan ning fui hoton, in which hoton means city in Manchus,thus it could be translated as the city of Nan ning city). They entered the Dung Yoo miyoo(meaning the temple of eastern mountains in Chinese) and made a dedication to the divine. The subordinates of the councillors prostrated themselves to each other to show their courtesy. By the time of the festival, the janggins of the eight banners and soldiers started to eat and drink, even those armoured bayaras(one of the most elite Manchu military units) went on the street, they got some women’s clothes and wore them themselves to pretend like women, and they sang along with those who were singing the song of Doo yang ke (again, ke already means song in Chinese, and the author was not aware of that. I think making this kind of mistake twice probably suggests the author has no knowledge of the Chinese language.)to entertain themselves. The image of the old men (sakdasa in the original text, which probably refers to the author’s parents) emerged in my heart, fuck.
25th,February: Shang zhi xin(a Chinese dynast who serves the Manchus), the mighty conqueror general, the king who pacified the south; along with Manggitu,the general of the south theatre; Ecu, the general of Jiangning; Lebei and Hife, the counsellor and lord of the banner; and Ehene, the vice janggin, met together to hold a war council on the best method to enter and conquer Yun nan(a province in southwestern China).The plan was made, and it was decided that we should initiate the invasion next winter. I sewed a tent and saddle for my horse(not sure what exactly that means,do horses need tents?) and also fixed my weapons.
3rd,March: Mang(this time for sure a nickname of general Manggitu, potentially coined by the author himself) said there was a decree issued from the khan’s court…..(the content of the decree was too long and rather irrelevant, so I did not translate it). I took some time to finish the necessary maintenance.
5th,March: The date of departure was approaching, so an order was given to us to prepare our weapons.
6th,March: Ganduhai and other low-ranked janggins strictly inspected the quantity of the horses. The message of Ma qiyang yen’s rebellion against us was delivered to our camp again, he was the Chinese governor of Bin jeo.
13th,March: General Mang(nickname of Manggitu) selected 3 bayaras from each niru(the manchu equivalent of battalion, roughly 300 men strong), and he handled this force to Hife, the lord of the banner, and Ehene, the janggin of the flag(apparently Mr Ehene got recently promoted). Hife also had 5 regiments of Chinese auxiliary forces under his command, each of which was 1000 men strong . With this army, he was ordered to fight the above-mentioned rebel Ma Qiyang Yen, and he then marched towards the direction of Bin jeo.This day my eight horses(the author forgot to use plural form and accusative case here,I assume it was due to his depression)were stolen by thieves. My heart feels so heavy. After reporting this to the general, the general informed the officials and the civilians about this matter, and an investigation was initiated; it turned out to be fruitless.
16th,March: General Ecu reached Nanning city(I assume the author was learning Chinese, since this time he did not say the city of Nanning city again)from the county of Yung Mvn by water.
20th,March: The military horse from Yung Mvn also reached our camp. The general ordered to allocate these military horses from Yung mvn among those armored soldiers who did not have one. At that time (the couriers) did not want to surrender the horses, so (the general) scolded the leaders of every regiment, calling them weak. General Mang gathered all those janggins of the camps together and told them: "Why have those horses still not been allocated as ordered? You were ignoring my orders! It was not even something hard to do, yet you refused to follow it! Now, go and bring those horses to the city, they are government property! " Then the matter was finally settled.
25th,March: We departed from Nanning city and I was leading a squad of four soldiers in a niru. Mang the general and Lebei, Hife the lord of the banner, led the army, aiming to reach Liu zhou. We marched past the Jing ceng sy(a Chinese temple) and Kun lun pass.
In five days, we marched 170 ba(a Manchu unit of length, each ba equals roughly 500 meters)
30th,March: We reached Bin Jeo; first, we met the Bayara force; then, I and my squad were allocated to the ranks of the Aliha force(it is a combined force of Mongol and Manchu soldiers.The word Aliha means "those who are in charge").We then formed a new platoon.
1st,April: A servant of my platoon mate Hooxan distributed some beef among us. These beef meats were acquired through killing some random natives. This was discovered by the general’s own armoured guards. He called me and other squad leaders to his tent, then he asked us to sit down and comforted us with his kind words. I felt so ashamed. In the end, we were all punished, Ganduhai was sentenced to a fine of three months' salary, I and the vice janggin Dandai were sentenced to a fine of six months' salary. Bosoku (a Manchu military title, refers to a low-ranking cavalry officer) was sentenced to 70 strokes of the cane. Hooxan from the Booju niru,who was the master of the servant, was sentenced to 80 strokes of the cane. The servant was sentenced to 100 strokes of the cane.
4th, April: The rations of the army were running out, so the general decided to move the camp. We moved to a place that was 15 ba away from Bin Jeo. We were ordered to search for food in every nearby village and to hull rice plants if we could find any. I sent the children of my servant to the village,(they)discovered some rice plants hidden by the villagers in their basements, (we)dug a hole in the ground to hull the rice.
6th, April: The Chinese auxiliary force was ordered to build a temporary bridge on the river near Bin Jeo.
8th, April: A decree was issued by the ministry:"Prince kemungge and Brother king Shang zhi xin(previously mentioned Chinese dynast who supports Manchu rule) ,please(the original text was,quite surprisingly, using operative mood) meet together, then use your joint force to attack Ma qiyang yen’s force.General Manggitu, why have you not launched the campaign to enter and conquer Yun nan? You need to explain this to us immediately" Then we heard again the rumour that Hai Qing county,Jin Men, and Xia Men of Fu Jian province were conquered by our empire.
13th,April: Once again, a scolding message was sent from the ministry, asking us to enter and conquer Yun nan.
16th,April:Since the servant of the soldier( probably referring to the Hooxan incident)harmed the local people, a decree that barred all soldiers from leaving their post was issued.
19th,April: We crossed the river near Bin jeo, marching 15 ba, and then we established our camp at a place called Too deng near Xa Moo San. I made a small shack for myself with grass. This day the brother king(Shang zhi xin) sent a letter to our camp:" governor Jin (a Chinese) is leading the marine force and traveling by water with 23 boats. I myself am currently dwelling with military governor Jelken. We shall start to move with our force on April 15th. I pray that your excellency could capture Lai Bin County; if not, I will go and capture Vsiowan County. I hope I can meet you at that place. I wish we could then discuss whether we should wait for Prince Kemungge or simply attack Liu zhou with our own force." And the mighty baturu, the man born for war, the governor of Yun Gui, general Zhao liang dong( a Chinese general who served in Manchu army, he was greatly respected by the author)also sent a secret message to our camp: "The leader of the rebels Wu san gui, Wu guo gui were now dead. The ones left were Wu ying qi, ,Wu Shi Fan, and Hu Gui Zhu. They were nothing but a bunch of incompetent dollards and their morale was already shattered. This is the time to conquer Szechuan! Four(armies)need to conduct attacks together, we shall capture all their land, and it will be done in one strike!" I heard it carefully and respectfully.
23th,April: The war council decided to capture Lai Bin first. Thus, an order to prepare a ration of one month’s worth was issued. I ordered someone to dig a hole in the ground to hull the rice plants.
28th,April: The soldiers were sent out to collect enemy intelligence. I also went out with them.
29th,April: I was sick, I puked.
1st, May: Prince Elhe himself was leading his army back to the north, it was said they were going back to Beijing, I went out to follow him, but contrary to my wish, I failed to go back, fucking frastrute(author made a spelling mistake here, and it was followed by a large gap period, so he was probably super fed up).
7th, May: The rebel leaders from Yun nan,namely Fan Qi Han and Jan Yang, joined forces with Ma Qiyang yen and crossed the river near Lai Bin. We heard that they stopped near the Da Xi Bridge. General Mang ordered all the men to stay within the camp and build fortifications. My troops also participated in building the defences, and they were all complaining.
13th, May: The hostile force was approaching, they stopped at a place 5 ba away from us and set up camp on a monticule. General mixed the Chinese auxiliary forces and our own forces together in order to defend the camp. I was personally patrolling the camp with my full-set of armour on for the entire day.
15th,May: Subordinates of the rebel Ma qiyang ye, fake general Ma qiyang lei, and Rao yi lung,together with the rebel’s fake generals Fan qi han and Jan yang from Yun nan challenged us with more than 10 thousand soldiers. They arranged many anti-horse obstacles and large barriers near Too Deng. The army of the enemy itself was drawn up in a four-line formation and was equipped with many muskets and elephants. Seeing this, General Mang ordered every subcamp to select 1 janggin and 10 armoured soldiers to secure the luggage. Then the rest of the army went out to fight the enemy. Our army was marshalled as follows: "Hife, the lord of the banner, stood at the front of the first line to coordinate the attack. The troops in the second line were commanded by Masita. The first line, in the meantime, was commanded by Ehene. The flank troops of the left wing were commanded by Lebei. In front of the whole army, the general placed the Chinese auxiliary force and their artillery." The enemy rushed towards us; they broke through our first line like it was nothing, and the Chinese could not stop the charging enemy, so they fled from the battle. Seeing this, the banner men from plain red and plain yellow organised two simultaneous attacks with great passion; they penetrated the enemy line, creating two gaps. Yet the enemies fought unyieldingly; they reorganised and concentrated all their forces to strike towards us, ignoring the plain red and yellow bannermen at their flank. Our troops could not stop them, so we started to retreat scatteredly. I saw it all myself, how they drove the bannermen from the bordered blue banner to their anti-horse obstacle. But all of a sudden, the bannermen being chased stopped, and a series of strange "picyang" sounds came from the enemy's direction. Then I saw the soldiers of the first line somehow managed to drive the elephants towards us while the military standards of the bordered yellow banner’s bayara janggin Valda and aliha army(the unit author belonged to)’s vice bosoku( the bosoku himself was probably still recovering from the cane stroke) Ulehi were seized by the enemy. At that time, the soldiers of the second line, including me, saw hardly any option but to shoot desperately towards those beasts. They were charging us from all directions, so we had to shoot while standing back to back, and the elephants looked like hedgehogs. When the elephants acted like grey fishes,(elephants) fled away. My heart felt really strange at that instance, and I could not stop it from beating like crazy. The hostile army then left the plain and retreated to the forest on the mountains. They again arranged some anti-horse obstacles there later that day. We did not fight them again, for our forces went back to the camp to spend the night while defending our fortifications.
Original Manchu text:
Elhe taifin i sohon bonio juwan uyuci aniya，aniya biyai ice inenggi，jiyanggiyvn Manggitv，hebei ambasa，geren janggisa，bana i hafasa be gaifi，Guwangsi Nanning fui hoton i Dung yoo miyoo i dolo isibufi doroloho.Ambasa juwe galai hafasa ishunde hengkilehe.Aniya i ucuri jakvn gvsai janggin cooha gemu jeme omime，bayara uksin i beye giyade，hehe adali miyamifi，Doo yang ke uqun ba uculeme efihe. Mini dolo sakdasa be gvnime alixaha.
Juwe biyai orin sunja de，horon be badarambure amba jiyanggiyvn，juergi be necihiyere wang Xang jy sin，juergi be tuwakiyara jiyanggiyvn Manggitu，Giyangning ni jergi babe tuwakiyara jiyanggiyvn Ecu，hebei amban gvsai ejen Lebei，Hife，meireni janggin Ehene se Yvn nan be gaime dosire jalin hebe aqafi，tuweri dosimbi seme toktoho.Bi morin be ulebume maikan enggemu agvra hajun be dasataha.
Ilan biyai ice ilan de.Dergici wasimbuha Mang....... Mini gamara yaya jaka be gemu dasataha .
Ice sunja de dosire inenggi hanci oho，agvra hajun be sadata seme selgiyehe，
Ice ninggun de Ganduhai buyarame janggisa morin i ton be qiralame baicaha.Bin jeo i jy jeo hafan Ma qiyang yen be ubaxaha seme nurhume boolanjiha.
Juwan ilan de jiyanggiyvn Mang gusai ejen Hife，tui janggin Ehene de emu nirui ilata bayara，dahame dailara sunja ing ni sunja minggan niowanggiyantv cooha be bufi, neneme ubaxaha hvlha Ma qiyang yen be dailame Bin jeo baru jurambuha.Tere inenggi mini jakvn morin hvlha bufi，mini doro alixame，jiyanggiyvn de alara jakade，Jiyanggiyvn sunja ing ni hafasa，irgen de selgiyafi baicabuha，naranggi bahaakv....
Juwan ninggude jiyanggiyvn Ecu，cooha gaifi yungmvn hiyan ci quwan tefi，nan ning de jihe.Orin de yungmvni choohai morisa isinjiha，Jiyanggiyvn gisun morin akv uksinsade yunmvni albani morin be tatame gaifi bu seme。tatarade lak seme burakv ofi，genere kvwaranda be uhuken seme dangsifi.jiayanggiyvn Mang，tuwakiyara kvwarani dajanggisa be gajifi，morin be burakvngge adarame emke hono famxame yabuki serakv jilerxembi，te uthai albani morin be bu seme，morin be tatame gaifi genere cooha de icihiyame buhe.
Orin sunjade bi jiyanggiyvn Mang，gvsai ejen Lebei，hife sebe dahame. Emu nirui duite ton i cooha be gaifi，Nanning fuci，Lio Jeo baru jurafi yabume，Jing ceng sy be dulefi，Gunluwan guwan be tucifi.
Sunja inenggi emu tanggv nadanju babe yabufi.Gvsin de bin jeo de isinafi，neneme geneje bayara be acafi，aliha cooha be acabufi emu meyen obuha.
Duin biyai ice de，mini jalani Booju nirui Hooxani kutele，gvwa i waha irgini ihani yali be dendefi gaijirede,Jiyanggiyvni gocika uksin de nambufi，Jiyanggiyvn，mimbe，kvwaran i da be gamafi，qaqari de tebufi，sain gisun i neqihiyere de，be yertehe.Weile gisurefi，Ganduhai ilan biyai funglv，mimne arahai janggin dandai be ninggun biyai funglu faitame，bosokv be nadanjv，kutelei ejen hooxan be jakvnju，kutule be tanggv tantaha.
Uheri coohai jetere bele lakcafi，ice duide jiyanggiyvn ing gurime，Binjeo ci tofohon bai dubede genefi ing ilifi，teisu teisu gaxan de bele baisu，handu be niohu seme selgiyehe.Bi booi juse be gaxan de unggifi，eye fatame handu baifi gajifi，na be sangga arafi bele niuhuhe. Ice ninggude Bin jeo i bira be fukiyoo ca seme，niowanggiyan tu de afabuha.
Ice jakvn de jurgan ci unggihe bithede：“Ubaxaha hvlha Ma Qiyangyen be kemungge wang anda wang Xang jysin ni emgi acafi dailakini，jiyanggiyvn Manggitu si yvn nan be dailame dosika akv babe hvdun boola sehebi！” Geli fugiyan i goloi Haiqing hiyan，Gin men，Hiya men i jergi babe baha seme donjiha.
Juwan ilan de geli Yvnnan be gaime dosi seme hacihiyara bithe isinjiha. Juwan ninggude cooha kutule be irgen be nungnembi seme,gemu karun ci ume tucibure seme fafun i bithe selgiyehe. Juwan uyun de Bin jeoi bira be doofi,tofohon ba yabufi.Xa moo sani ebele Too deng sere babe ing iliha.Bi orhoi tatan araha.Anda wang ni yabubuha bithede: Dzungdv Gin mukei cooha be gaifi,juwan ilan de quwan be jurambi. Mini beye, tidu Jelkeni emgi cooha be gaifi, tofohon de olhon be jurambi.Laibin hiyan be wesihun jiyanggiyvn gaisu,bi vsiowan hiyan be gaifi, dere aqafi hebdeki.Eici kemungge qin wang be aliyafi Lio jeo fvbe gaire,eici musei cooha uthai Lio jeo fvbe gaire babe ebxeki sehebi.Yvn guii dzungdu baturu bodohonggo jiyanggiyvn Joo liyangdung ni wesimbuhengge:Fudaraka hvlha U sangui,U guwegui bucihe, funcehe U ingki,U xifan,Hv guwejv,Maboose gemu silhi meijehebi,muten akv urse.Ere Suquwan be baha ucuri,duin jugvni sasa Yvn gui be gaime dosici, emgeride toktobuci ombi seme.narhuxame wesimbuhe seme donjiha.
Orin ilan de Laibin i baru ibembi seme gisurefi nakaha,emu biyai jetere bele niohu seme selgiyehe.Bi eye fetebume handu baifi, bele niohuhe.Orin jakvn de hvlha i mejige be gaime,cooha unggirede,bi genehe bihe.Orin uyun de mini beye fudame nimehe.Sunja biyai ice sunja de, elhe qin wang ni beye cooha gaifi, Beging ni baru bederehe seme donjifi,bi elhe wang be dahame tucifi, elemangga bahafi bedererakv seme kusucehe.Ice nadan de Yvn nan ci jihe hvlha Fan qihan,Jan yang ni cooha, Ma qiyangyen i cooha Lai bin i bira be doofi, Da xikiyoo de iliha seme donjifi, Jiyanggiyvn Mang geren de selgiyefi ing be akdulara de, mini beye cooha be kadalame dobori dulime keremu ulan weilehe.Coohai urse gasaha.
Juwan ilan de hvlha ibeme jifi,bakcilame sunja bai dubede,alin be gaime ing iliha.Jianggiyvn,niowanggiyan tvbe musei cooha de kamcibume keremu tuwakiyabuha.Mini beye dobori inenggi a(u)ksilehei jucelehe.Tofohon de ubaxaha hvlha Ma qiyangyeni fejergi holo Jiyanggiyvn Ma qiyang liyei,Rao i lung,Yvn nan ci jihe hvlha i holo jiyanggiyvn Fan qihan,Janyang uheri tumen funqere hvlha be gaifi, ing be afanjime hanci latunjifi, Too deng ni bade hiyahan kalka miyoocan sufan duin be faidafi ambarame jihe be.Jiyanggiyvn Mang ing toome emu janggin,juwan uksin be werifi,uheri amba cooha be gaifi tucifi,cini dere de hife,masitai be jai meyen i cooha be gaifi faida,ici ergi xaksiha de Ehene uju meyeni cooha be gaifi faida.Hashv ergi xaksiha de lebei xaksiha meyen i cooha be gaifi faida seme afabufi.Niowanggiyan tvbe juleri sindafi,ibeme poo sindame,hvlha uthai fondolome latunjifi,niowanggiyan tv alime muterakv axxame.Gulu suwayan gulu fulgiyan juwe hontoho fakcame angga arame ba buhe.Hvlha bireme emu dalgan i fondolofi,baksalafi bedererede,tuwaci jebele galai baru siribume kubuhe lamun, hvlhai hiyahani hanci ilinaha. Hvlhai piciyang turi tashara adali sindambi . Tuwaqi uju meyen i qooha sufan be birebufi , kubuhe suwayan i bayara janggin walda tu , aliha qooha i funde bosoku ulehi i tu gaibuha,sufan halgime jai meyen i qooha de nikenjihe be , meni geren i gabdara de ,sirdan sengge bula i adali , sufan de hadara jakade , sufan burulame alin i baru genehe . mini dolo faije(u)me seme gvnime tuksitehe.Hvlha neqin baci ikvme, alin i luku bujan de kurlefi ,yamjitala bakqilame hiyahan faidafi bihe.Musei qooha inu afahakv, ing de bederefi , keremu be akdulame tuwakiyaha.

# Today In Phishstory - March 21st Brought to you by tiph-bot. Beep.
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Phish

Phish, Sunday 03/21/1993 (30 years ago) Ventura Theatre, Ventura, CA, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1993 WinteSpring Tour
Set 1 : Maze , Sparkle , The Sloth , Divided Sky , Esther ¹ > All Things Reconsidered , Split Open and Melt , Poor Heart , Punch You in the Eye , Lawn Boy > Possum ²
Set 2 : Loving Cup , My Friend, My Friend ³ , Rift > Tweezer > Ya Mar , Llama , You Enjoy Myself , My Sweet One > Big Ball Jam , Hold Your Head Up > Cracklin' Rosie > Hold Your Head Up , Harry Hood , Cavern
Encore : Sleeping Monkey , Sweet Adeline ⁴ , Tweezer Reprise
1 Random Note signal in intro. 2 Simpsons signal. 3 Beginning featured Trey on acoustic guitar. No "Myfe" ending. 4 Without microphones.
Jamchart Notes:
Split Open and Melt - Very exploratory jam which veers away from standard "SOAM" and makes a clean break at 7:50 into improvisational, slightly off-kilter playing. Shifts into some good rocking and gets really great as it works its way back to "SOAM."
My Friend, My Friend - Nice little melodic outro jam is tacked on with no "Myfe" ending.
Harry Hood - Beautiful, delicate playing at first. Then at 7:55, there's an incredible section where the power builds in a cool and very unusual way for "Hood." From here, there's a brief settle before launching into a blistering ending.
Show Notes:
Page teased the theme to Jeopardy! in Divided Sky. The Esther intro contained a Random Note signal and Possum contained a Simpsons signal. The beginning of My Friend featured Trey on acoustic guitar. My Friend did not contain the "Myfe" ending. Tweezer contained Walk This Way teases. Sweet Adeline was performed without microphones.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Phish, Saturday 03/21/1992 (31 years ago) Chestnut Cabaret, Philadelphia, PA, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1992 Spring Tour
Set 1 : The Landlady > Runaway Jim , Foam , Sparkle , Split Open and Melt , The Horse > Silent in the Morning , Dinner and a Movie , The Squirming Coil , My Sweet One , Stash , Golgi Apparatus
Set 2 : Buried Alive > The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony > Suzy Greenberg , Take the 'A' Train ¹ > My Friend, My Friend , Poor Heart , All Things Reconsidered , David Bowie ² , Weigh > Cold as Ice > Cracklin' Rosie ³ > Cold as Ice , You Enjoy Myself
Encore : Bouncing Around the Room , Rocky Top
1 Simpsons signal. 2 Will the Circle Be Unbroken? and Get Back signals. 3 Fish on both cymbals and Bag-Vac.
Show Notes:
'A' Train included a Simpsons signal. Bowie's intro contained a teases of All Things Reconsidered and Spooky, Long Tall Glasses quotes from Fish, and Will the Circle Be Unbroken? and Get Back signals. Fish used both the cymbals and the Bag-Vac during Rosie. Three Blind Mice was teased in the YEM vocal jam.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Phish, Monday 03/21/1988 (35 years ago) Nectar's, Burlington, VT, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1988 Tour
Set 1 : Suzy Greenberg , Golgi Apparatus , McGrupp and the Watchful Hosemasters , Sneakin' Sally Through the Alley , Divided Sky , Boogie On Reggae Woman > Timber (Jerry the Mule) , The Lizards
Set 2 : Fire , AC/DC Bag > The Chase > Possum , Dinner and a Movie , I Didn't Know ¹ , Colonel Forbin's Ascent > Fly Famous Mockingbird
1 Fish on trombone.
Show Notes:
I Didn't Know featured Fish on trombone. This setlist is likely incomplete.
Listen now at Phish.in!

Mike Gordon

Mike Gordon, 2019-03-21 The Sinclair, Cambridge, MA, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/mike-gordon-march-21-2019-the-sinclair-cambridge-ma-usa.html
Tour: Not Part of a Tour
Show Notes: Mike teased the Barney Miller theme and Linus and Lucy in Looking for Clues. Crazy Sometimes contained a Frankenstein tease from Mike and a Theme From the Flintstones tease from Scott.
Mike Gordon, 2014-03-21 Neptune Theatre, Seattle, WA, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/mike-gordon-march-21-2014-neptune-theatre-seattle-wa-usa.html
Tour: Mike Gordon - Spring 2014 Overstep Tour
Show Notes: Are You a Hypnotist?? contained a tease of Zion hört die Wächter singen by Tom.

Other

The Allman Brothers Band, 2005-03-21 Beacon Theatre, New York, NY, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/guest-appearance-march-21-2005-beacon-theatre-new-york-ny-usa.html
Tour: Not Part of a Tour
Show Notes: Page, along with Matt Abts and the Jukes Horns joined the Allman Brothers for the latter half of a "Southbound," "Layla" encore.
Glen Schweitzer’s Jalapeno Brothers, 1999-03-21 The Matterhorn, Stowe, VT, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/guest-appearance-march-21-1999-the-matterhorn-stowe-vt-usa.html
Tour: Not Part of a Tour
Show Notes: This setlist is incomplete. This show featured guests Mike, Vassar Clements, and Buddy Cage.

Which treats of the new and agreeable adventure that befell the priest and the barber in the Sierra Morena.
Prompts:
1) What did you think of the party’s reaction to meeting Dorotea?
2) What did you think of her story?
3) Why did Don Fernando make all these promises, and several times repeat them, only to immediately break them?
4) I’ll ask the same I asked about Cardenio: do you relate to Dorotea and her reaction to her misfortune or do you criticise her decision to run out into the desert?
5) Dorotea places emphasis on her family’s social class, so far as blaming it for her misfortunes (“my misfortunes arise from their not being nobly born”). What do you make of that?
6) Lucinda has disappeared too! Has she run into the desert as well?
7) Favourite line / anything else to add?
Free Reading Resources:

• Project Gutenberg
• Standard eBook
• Librivox Audiobook

Illustrations:

1. turning the corner of a rock, they espied a youth dressed like a peasant
2. Having made an end of washing his beauteous feet, he immediately wiped them with a handkerchief, which he pulled out from under his cap;
3. and, at the taking it from thence, he lifted up his face, and the lookers-on had an opportunity of beholding an incomparable beauty (coloured)
4. shaking his head, there began to flow down and spread over his shoulders a quantity of lovely hair, that Apollo himself might envy
5. her feet in the water seemed to be of crystal
6. at the rustling they made in getting upon their feet, the beautiful maiden raised her head -
7. - and, parting her hair from before her eyes, -
8. - saw those who had made the noise
9. “Stay, madam, whoever you are”
10. the riches and nobility they valued themselves most upon, was having me for their daughter
11. here I offer you my hand and my heart
12. and let the Heavens be witness
13. Don Fernando, taking the image that stood in the room, and placing it for a witness of our espousals, with all the solemnity of vows and oaths, gave me his word to be my husband (coloured)
14. “What! madam, is your name Dorothea?”
15. in the dead of that very night, I left our house, accompanied only by my servant, and took the way that led to the town on foot
16. The town crier announces a reward for finding Dorotea
17. with the little strength I had, and without much difficulty, -
18. - I pushed him -
19. - down a precipice, -
20. - where I left him, I know not whether alive or dead. (coloured)
21. where no memory might remain of this wretched creature

1, 4, 14, 19 by Ricardo Balaca (source) 2, 17 by George Roux (source) 3, 13, 16, 20, 21 by Gustave Doré (source), coloured versions by Salvador Tusell (source) 5 by Cecilio Pla (source) 7 by unknown (source) 8, 9, 11 by Tony Johannot (source, source2, source3) 6 by artist/s of 1862 Imprenta Nacional edition (source) 10, 12, 15, 18 by Apel·les Mestres (source, source2, source3, source4)
Past years discussions:

• 2021-03-21
• 2022-03-21

Final line:

‘[..] I say, then, I again betook myself to these deserts, where, without molestation, I might beseech heaven with sighs and tears to have pity on my disconsolate state, and either to assist me with ability to struggle through it, or to put an end to my life among these solitudes, where no memory might remain of this wretched creature, who, without any fault of hers, has ministered matter to be talked of, and censured, in her own and in other countries.'

Next post:
Sat, 25 Mar; in four days, i.e. three-day gap.

I was hesitating to write this, but I feel like enough time has passed for me to continue. It was a rough few weeks. More of my own self-hurt, inside and out. Scars line my soul, and I continued to view the world through a blurry and unfocused lens, in part because of my own tears. I've all but cut myself off from medication, cut contact with others, and wandered around like a vagrant. I've slept in alleyways, under cars, by dumpsters, under bridges, even in the woods at one point. Anywhere free of people. At this point I considered myself like a stereotypical black cat; cross my path and be cursed. I continued to wander, eventually coming upon the place I've secretly spent the past three days: Turtle Island State Wildlife Refuge. They had apparently brought Hahnunah's carcass up here in a funeral of sorts, a ceremony blessed by Iroquois tribesmen (but also in part because of a legal agreement between them, Monarch and New York State). In the time that followed, a landslide occurred after some rough rainy weather, causing all sorts of erosive assault on the ground, making it open up a vast deep space that filled with water. As this impromptu lake formed, some debris formed an island in the middle, a portion of which was apparently made of a dislodged piece of Hahnunah's shell that had somehow found its way up to the surface. Eventually things settled as the lake formed, then in the next few days, it was like a whole new world opened up. The island that had formed was soon populated by plant life, and many animals were seen later on, some native to the region and others migrating in. The place was beautiful, and it was like part of Hahnunah was still alive in making this place prosper. But as for myself, I watched these pleasant scenes with a hollow soul. I had stayed in the park for three days (sleeping in the woods, and at one point even accidentally putting the back of my head on a pile of deer droppings that I mistook for rocks, as if my luck couldn't get worse), and I watched as the flora and fauna returned. Deer were plentiful now, pollinating insects eagerly flew from flower to flower, birds sang from all over, fish swam in the water, worms dug in the soil, raccoons prowled the brush, coyotes scoured the woods, bears wandered, turtles and frogs clung along the water's edge. Anyone else would've found the views a welcome contrast from the hustle and bustle of city life, but to me, it was like looking in through a window into a world I didn't deserve to be in. I found myself on a bench overlooking the lake, sat there as the dark night sky and starlight faded as the sun rose. Sunrises were me and Hahnunah's thing, and it didn't feel right even being in the presence of one anymore. I looked out on the lake as the morning birds begun their chirps and songs. Eventually the dawn sunlight illuminated the sky completely, but the cheerful atmosphere did little to settle me. Old and new scars make my soul and body burn, and I cannot even think of me and Molloy's 'happy' memories together (or even any of my memories of Monarch) without crying, and even when I ran out of tears to cry I still sniffled quietly, probably indistinguishable from the rest of the environment, drowned out by the arguably more cheerful sounds of crickets and such. As I sat on the bench, clutching myself in the fetal position. I struggled to think of what to do next. What was there? The lake is right up there, maybe that? Or a 'happenstance' encounter with a bear or coyote? Or a 'happenstance' occurrence of poisonous berries? Regardless of what little alternatives I thought, nothing else seemed more tempting to either continue wallowing indefinitely or cut it, and everything else, short. I hate you, I hate myself, I told myself under my breath over and over, like a crazed mantra. Eventually I said it out loud to the point of my tears finally returning. At least when your tear ducts feel dry you feel something. As I wiped the last few away, I heard footsteps coming from my right. I didn't bother looking up. If some ranger was there to escort me out, then so be it. I had no reasons to fight anymore. But when a familiar set of voices greeted me, I had to look up. It was Bodero and Mary Ann, who smiled slightly as they noticed me make eye contact with them.
"Hey, Fossil. Long time, no see. You've been gone two months, you know," Bodero said as he and Mary Ann both prepared to hug me, but I silently told them to hold back, which they did. "I didn't want to be there anymore," I replied, though my weak voice volume forced me to repeat myself when they couldn't hear me. "Fossil, if you wanted to tell us how you felt, and sought safety and love in the comfort of your friends, its ok to do so," Mary Ann replied. I shook my head. "No, its not. Don't you see? I'm a pest; an obstacle; something that hurts more than helps. All I am is just a weight. Wouldn't the best boat travel well if it wasn't weighed down by anything if it can help it?" Mary Ann shook her head this time. "You're not dead weight. Never were. What on Earth could possibly make you think that?" I sighed. This was going to get intense, I can tell. "I... let this happen. He and I were friends. Then we broke up because of our disagreements turning sour. Then we reunited. Then he tried to kill me, and I learned he hated me since the day we split, and wanted to just backstab me one more time, and do so with the ripple effect going out to the entire world. He wanted suffering just to make me suffer, to show how wrong I was and how.... right he was. How worthless everything else seemed. How there was no alternative. Instead of being smart, I was naive. I let him in, close to me and us. And what happened? DEATH! DEATH AND DESTRUCTION! DEATH AND DESTRUCTION THAT COULD'VE BEEN PREVENTED HAD I JUST WISED UP AND IGNORED HIM!" I shouted, my voice getting hoarse quicker than I thought. Bodero shook his head too. "No one could've known, especially you. Your reaction made sense; you wanted to reform a friendship, to rebuild a bridge, and it backfired. That on its own is bad enough, but Fossil, and I know this won't fix anything right now, but, you cannot blame yourself for everything that happened. That's just not right." I turned to him now. "Then what is? I should know better, I should do better, I should know better, I SHOULD DO BETTER, I SHOULD KNOW BETTER, I SHOULD DO BETTER, I SHOULD KNOW BETTER, I SHOULD DO BETTER!" My voice crapped out once again as I fell back on the bench out of breath, and it was a minute or two before I continued. "I'm not a good person, guys. Would a good person have let all this happen? Would a responsible person have let all this happen? I... I.. don't even think of myself as the same me that joined Monarch all that time ago. That younger, curiouser, nicer, promising, hopeful me. What a disappointing follow-up to him I am. I don't even recognize myself in my reflection anymore, it's just a.. I'm just a.. failure. Unworthy. Terrible. Defective. An unworthy successor to the younger me of yesteryear. Instead of me in the mirror, it's some unrecognizable hollow-souled ghoul staring back at me." Then I looked back up to their faces, full of pity and sympathy. I didn't deserve that. I didn't deserve... help! Couldn't they see that? "I'm sorry, guys. I'm sorry for dragging you down with me. I'm sorry to unload all of my shit onto you. I'm sorry for wasting your time being a failure. I'm sorry for shouting out something that the world should never hear. I'm sorry," I began to blubber, but I felt each set of hands grab my shoulders to steady me. I tolerated that for a second before I silently gestured for them to relinquish. I was still not big on physical contact yet.
"Fossil, there is no need to apologize. You haven't done anything wrong, and even if you had, you haven't done anything unforgivable. People can change, and you have certainly done so. I know this stuff about Molloy and Fields and Hahnunah and all of that can wear you down. I can see it. But that's no reason to destroy yourself. Nothing is. You're more than you think you are," Mary Ann said, a smile forming on her face. "If I am, then why do you guys have to do this? Why do you guys even take a chance on me still? Can't you see I'm just a... a... horrible person?" Bodero shook his head again. "You're not. Never have been. Maybe not perfect, but who is? Besides, Fossil, you were there for us when we needed it. Every argument you settled, every conversation you've struck up, every joke you laughed at, every hug you've shared, every piece of advice you gave, all of that resonates with us, with how you treat other people. You did good things, you helped us in ways you probably never imagined. Like Mary Ann. After her father was killed by that bastard Molloy, she sought ways to redeem his legacy and honor him, and having Molloy killed and joining Monarch - in part thanks to you - helped her a great deal. With me, I joined just before the Godzilla and Kong stuff happened. I was the most antisocial guy around. I had trouble with myself too, and at worst I also hated myself with the bullshit I kept telling myself, kind of like you. That I was awful, good for nothing, all that. But putting myself out there and talking to you and others helped me get out of my shell. Sure, I'm not perfect, but helping you out with your then-fresh troubles with Molloy and all that shell shock helped us both. Helped strengthen our friendship. I got insight on how to help people and see their point of view, which is why I can kind of relate to you right now." Before I could say anything, Mary Ann spoke up. "Fossil, we miss you. Ever since we learned you quit and then practically disappeared off the face off the planet, we were devastated. We understood what you were going through, but we didn't think that would happen. We feared the worst, we sent out some missing persons stuff, we had the police check the waterways for.... you know. Then a few days ago when you were spotted on a trail cam out here, we rushed out here as fast as we could to find you. As much as you think otherwise, we care about you, because we love you. We're friends. No, wait. At this point, we're family. We're there for each other, to love each other and support each other in times of crisis. Monarch as a whole exists to protect both the modern world and the natural world, just as we protect ourselves and you both out in the field and here in the private theater of war that is your mind. I know that sounds cliched as hell, but its true: we're family, and we're there for each other. We came all this way to help you. I know you may feel guilty about not being receptive to our ideas of help or attempts to communicate with you, but know that every chance we gave was never the last. We were always going to try again. You'd help us if we were in that position. You know, I think I know what you're on about here: compassion and accountability." Bodero nodded. "I agree. It is obvious that you care a lot about others, Fossil. But in doing so, you've neglected yourself to the point of even viewing yourself as less than compared to everything else, including us. I'm not saying to love only yourself, heh, but know that even though you're doing well by helping out others and ensure they get accountability for their actions, good or bad, you should do that to yourself too. Don't hate yourself when you make a mistake, learn from it. Get up. Walk away. Learn. I'm not entirely a fan of the whole, 'everything happens for a reason' thing, but sometimes good things come out of bad things. Obviously that doesn't apply to all things, but with you, you're a changed person. You should look at yourself less like a flawed individual but instead like a more developed and more mature person. Embrace the victories, no matter how small. Remember what I said before? Change the things you can change, not what you want changed. Even if its as simple as a thought." They both gave me some space, and a minute or two passed as I processed everything. "Fossil, we want you back. We really do, but we'd both understand if you don't want to. Tell you what, me and Chris have our car up on that end of the trail. If and when you're ready, come and meet us at the trail head. We'll be waiting, remember that," Mary Ann said as she and Bodero left me to ruminate in my thoughts once more
This recent influx of information sunk in. They did have some valid points. I was really just making things worse for myself. But how could I stop a problem that I think I deserved in the first place? I sat there, staring out at the lake again, the birdsongs getting louder and more numerous. As much as my cold heart would deny it, I felt a little bit of warm and fuzziness inside from this. I hadn't felt something like this since my first visit with Hahnunah after all that Bigfoot stuff. Perhaps... I am wrong about me. Sure, I may be imperfect (we all are), but... am I... really.... hopeless? Or is that my own delusion? I suppose this could've been purposeful by Molloy, to break me down to nothing. To reduce me to ashes metaphorically. As I struggled to comprehend how life could be from here on out, I remembered something. Death and disaster are unfortunately a part of life, part of nature's grand design. Despite that, a Titan dying or even an entire species dying doesn't effect Earth in the long run. Life goes on. If anything, there could be good things coming out of that too. Even with an organism no longer filling the reliable role it used to, it leaves it for something else, it ensured it was still there. And from there, life could blossom further as this new organism helps take over and pick up where the previous left off. With the Titans and their life-giving effects, even when one dies, not only are their niches filled like any other organism after, but they help the environment around them. Similar to how a dead whale can nourish millions of sea creatures on the ocean bottom, a dead Titan can rejuvenate entire ecosystems. In the end, its all relative. Nothing is permanent, not a state of mind, not an animal, not a city, not anything. But in the end, life goes on, and if you're lucky enough to still be on the path of life, appreciate what you can do to make things better for yourself and others. Even if you're gone, others will have things to remember you by. Maybe its not always a lose-lose situation. Still though, things look pretty daunting. I sat there still, before I finally decided to get up and stretch a little. After all my legs were falling asleep. I ended up walking to the water's edge, and looked down onto the ripples of the surface. Then once again, I spied my reflection. The person I was looking at was definitely different, and not exactly the same me I was before. But Bodero had a point. That could just mean I changed in some ways; matured, and did my best to be better. It was like a new iteration. It was still a strange feeling of course, feeling... happiness.... and relief again. At the same time, Molloy's damning voice crept in; "Don't be fooled by them. You are, always have been, and always will be, nothing, no matter what you say to yourself." I see I still have that going for me. But did it have to? Did I really I have to let this bother me? Of course, regardless of what I thought, it would probably still happen anyway, the fact that I cut myself off from my medication probably didn't help. But, even though it would continue, I would not let it bother me anymore. Molloy is dead, Fields is dead. Those evil men will no longer hurt people, and Statera Custodes as far as I know is on its last legs. This chapter is finishing, and doubtless there is another on the way with its own share of challenges, along with the occasional residual one from now. But I don't have to be weak and take it all. I can power through. I can be better, even if I don't think so. We can all be better. We can all improve. No matter what, life goes on, and this life, the only one we've got, is far too short for us to suffer in needless vain. When done right, you can help people and ensure they're helped even after you're gone. We just gotta live with ourselves and with each other. Be there for ourselves and each other. Hold each other accountable. Make sure we know our struggles and how to deal with them. The sunrise was up completely now, and I couldn't help but smile as I looked onto it. I could tell Hahnunah was still there somewhere. He'll always be there, helping things along just by them being in his presence, like some of us can do for others. In the end, cooperation and compassion are some of the biggest cards humanity can play, and we should play them any chance we get. On that thought, I slowly but surely walked back up the trail. Though dirty, exhausted, world-weary, and eroded to oblivion, I was still here, through it all. I didn't go through it alone and certainly didn't stay alive alone; I have the best friends and family I can ever ask for, and I cannot thank them enough. I don't doubt that tomorrow might cause a resurgence of this bad stuff, or the day after, or any other time after that. But that's okay. I'll deal with it when it happens, and if its for the rest of my life then so be it, but I will not let it wear me down. I will get help when I need it, I will stand up for myself when I have to, I will do it right; for me and those I love. I finally made it to the trail head, and I saw them waiting for me. At first, I stood there a few feet away, before I practically lunged toward them in a hug. We three just stood there, embracing as the sun's light continued to bathe the landscape in its glory. Yesterday had left, today had come. and tomorrow waits. But today is what matters. I got back into the car with them as Bodero got on the phone with the higher-ups to confirm my return. Apparently my office and everything is still in good shape. As the car began to pull away, I looked back out one last time, at the wildlife refuge sign before us. But what was coming from the nearby water, and crawling slowly towards the sign, towards the illustration of Hahnunah carved on it? A turtle, with nothing else on its mind but to go about today's tasks. And that is what I will do. I smiled as we pulled away, and the sign gradually turned to nothing but another object in the vast distance behind us.

This story has always been one of the most compelling passages in the Gospels. This is the visible face of God weeping as he sees others mourning, in pain, and suffering over the death of Lazarus. Think about it deeply. Jesus is God Almighty, and this is his heart for those who created. When we experience pain, agony, and suffering, Christ understands us & weeps. Going to highlight specific parts.
John 11
On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. Now Bethany was less than two miles from Jerusalem and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home.
“Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.”
Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”
Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”
Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
“Yes, Lord,” she replied, “I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.”
After she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. “The Teacher is here,” she said, “and is asking for you.” When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him. Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him. When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there.
When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked.
“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.
Jesus wept.
Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”
But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”
Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. “Take away the stone,” he said.
“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”
Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”
So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.”
When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.
Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”
Therefore many of the Jews who had come to visit Mary, and had seen what Jesus did, believed in him...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It may seem like a small point, but I think it's one of the most significant passages about Jesus Christ. He arrives while people are mourning and struggling, and he immediately assures Martha by telling her that he IS the resurrection and the life, which he goes on to verify by raising Lazarus from the dead. In spite of this though, he weeps & is troubled over the mourning of the people. It truly goes to show that our Lord Jesus Christ understands the trials and tribulations that we go through & that his ultimate desire isn't for us to suffer, but rather to be at peace in his presence.

Hey y'all, this is fganniversaries again. Like last week, I will be recapping anniversaries relating to fighting game announcements/releases this week. Like always, if I missed one, do please let me know in the comments. Here would be the following anniversaries:
March 20

• 2022: DNF Duel Box Art Reveal
• 2022: Virtua Fighter 5 Ultimate Showdown Tekken Series Costume Collaboration Announcement Trailer
• 2021: Father of the PlayStation, Ken Kutaragi Round 1: Ep. 2 Harada's Bar
• 2021: Punch Planet - Gat Reveal
• 2020: Chaos Code -New Sign of Catastrophe- releasing on Nintendo Switch WW.
• 2019: Mortal Kombat 11 Kotal Kahn Reveal Trailer
• 2018: DBFZ Bardock Full Trailer
• 2018: Tekken 7 Noctis DLC Release
• 2018: SFV CPT 2018 DLC Announcement
• 2018: Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection Release Date Announcement + Ultra SFIV Pre-Order Trailer & NS Exclusive Tournament Battles
• 2018: The King of Fighters '98: Ultimate Match releasing on PS4 WW
• 2017: Injustice 2 - Introducing Cheetah!
• 2015: MKX Tremor, Tanya, Predator Reveal
• 2015: UNIB 03-20-2015 Licht Kreis Information Division Corner
• 2014: A First Look at Decapre!
• 2014: SSB4 3/20/14 Director’s Room Post - Diddy Kong’s Peanut Popgun Overcharging Reveal
• 2013: Dead or Alive 5 Plus releasing on PS Vita at JP.
• 2013: Injustice: Gods Among Us - Interview With Senior Producer Adam Urbano
• 2013: Skullgirls Indiegogo Campaign - Roxie Mysterious Character Reveal
• 2009: Castlevania Judgment releasing as a Nintendo Wii exclusive at EU.
• 2008: Smash Bros. Dojo Page on Smash Taunt
• 2007: Dragon Ball Z: Shin Budokai - Another Road initially releasing on PSP at NA.
• 2007: Melty Blood Act Cadenza ver.B originally releasing at arcades at JP.
• 2007: Virtua Fighter 2 (Mega Drive) releasing on the Wii Virtual Console at JP.
• 1998: Real Bout Fatal Fury 2: The Newcomers originally releasing at arcades WW.
• 1997: Samurai Shodown 3 rereleasing on PS1 under PlayStation the Best series at JP
• 1997: Tekken 3 releasing at arcades worldwide following initial limited JP release.
• 1994: 3DO Interactive Multiplayer releasing at JP.

March 21

• 2022: KOFXV Omega Rugal Reveal Trailer + Screenshots/Boss Challenge Mode Reveal
• 2021: Tekken 7 - Lidia Sobieska Character Reveal Trailer
• 2020: GGST Millia & Zato-1 Reveal
• 2019: SCVI Amy Sorel Release Date Reveal
• 2018: KOFXIV Najd DLC Gameplay Trailer
• 2017: Shin Hisako releasing as a DLC playable character for Killer Instinct (2013)
• 2017: The King of Fighters Destiny Announcement
• 2014: SSB4 3/21/14 Director’s Room Post - Phosphora Trophy Reveal
• 2013: Art of Fighting 3: The Path of the Warrior releasing on Wii Virtual Console at NA.
• 2013: Darkstakers Resurrection Arcade Cabinet DLC
• 2013: Injustice: Gods Among Us - Harley Quinn Character Trailer
• 2013: Skullgirls Indiegogo Campaign - Juju Mysterious Character Reveal
• 2008: Arcana Heart 2 originally releasing at arcades at JP.
• 2008: Smash Bros. Dojo Page on The Subspace Emissary: The Great Maze (Secret Elements #20) & Peach: Special Moves
• 1997: Night Warriors: Darkstalkers' Revenge OVA Vol 1 originally releasing.

March 22

• 2022: KOFAS x Street Fighter Ryu Official Introduction Trailer
• 2021: KOFXV Team Fatal Fury BGM Reveal
• 2021: Rivals of Aether Direct 3 Announcement
• 2021: Tekken 7 Patch Notes 4.10
• 2021: Them's Fightin' Herds - Shanty Trailer
• 2020: Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba – The Hinokami Chronicles Debut Trailer & Development Report Vol. 1
• 2019: MK11 Noob Sailot Reveal + Shang Tsung DLC Reveal
• 2018: KOFXIV Najd Press Release
• 2017: KOFXIV Vanessa DLC Reveal Trailer/Gameplay Video Whip vs Ralf
• 2017: Rivals of Aether - Making the Jump from Early Access to Full Launch
• 2016: UNIB Continuous Technique Posting Corner 8th Winners
• 2014: Killer Instinct (2013) Classic Spinal Costume Footage
• 2013: Adam and Panzerfaust being revealed for the Skullgirls fundraiser.
• 2013: Darkstalkers: Resurrection Arcade Cabinet DLC
• 2013: Dead or Alive 5 Plus releasing on the PS Vita at EU.
• 2013: Injustice: Gods Among Us Japanese Dub Trailer
• 2013: Skullgirls Indiegogo Campaign - Adam, Panzerfaust
• 2013: Street Fighter IV: Arcade Edition Ver. 2012 Character Balance Feedback - Week One
• 2012: The King of Fighters Android originally releasing worldwide.
• 2011: Dissidia 012 Final Fantasy releasing on PSP at NA.
• 1996: Battle Arena Toshinden releasing on the GameBoy at JP.
• 1996: Darkstalkers: The Night Warriors releasing on PS1 at JP.

March 23

• 2022: KOFAS x Street Fighter Full Collaboration Trailer + M. Bison & Akuma Introduction Trailers
• 2021: KOFXV Yashiro Silhouette/Behind The Scenes Music Team Fatal Fury BGM
• 2021: Lidia releasing for Tekken 7 as a DLC playable character + Island Paradise Stage Releasing.
• 2021: Tough Love Arena 0.43.4 - 0.43.5 Change Log
• 2020: Samurai Shodown (2019) EGS Port Announcement
• 2020: Tekken 7 DLC 14/15 and Patch V3.30 Notes
• 2019: FEXL Ver1.2.0 PV + Sharon & Terry Reveal/Arcade Gameplay Footage #1, #2, #3, #4/Steam Gameplay Footage #1, #2, #3, #4
• 2018: Tekken 7 Who is Noctis Part 1
• 2017: A New CFN Is Coming Your Way!
• 2017: Injustice 2: Shattered Alliances Part 3 Trailer
• 2017: Rivals of Aether Custom Controllers Now Available from Controller Chaos
• 2017: ACA Neo Geo AOF & FF releasing on Xbox One
• 2016: Killer Instinct (2013) Season 3 Pricing Details
• 2016: TTT2 Xbox One Backward Compatibility Added
• 2015: ATP Live Episode 85 ft @Harada_TEKKEN, @mykeryu, @reepal, and @MarkMan23
• 2015: Dead or Alive 5: Last Round - ‘Senran Kagura’ Costumes Trailer
• 2013: "The Glass Canopy" stage being announced for Skullgirls.
• 2012: UNIB Seth Wallpaper
• 2011: Dissidia Duodecim Prologus Final Fantasy releasing on PSP at EU
• 2007: KOF: Maximum Impact 2 releasing on PS2 at EU.
• 2007: Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection releasing on PS3 via PSN at EU & AU.
• 2007: Virtua Fighter 5 releasing on PS3 at EU.
• 2006: KoF Maximum Impact Maniax releasing on the PS2 at JP.
• 2000: KOF99 releasing on the PS1 at JP
• 1996: Night Warriors: Darkstalker's Revenge releasing on Sega Saturn at US
• 1994: Super Street Fighter II Turbo releasing at arcades at NA.

March 24

• 2022: Street Fighter V: Champion Edition - Capcom Pro Tour 2022 DLC Trailer
• 2021: Skullgirls 2nd Encore 2021-03-24 Beta Mode Update
• 2021: The King of Fighters XV - Character Trailer #11 - Yashiro Nanakase + Screenshots
• 2021: Tough Love Arena 0.43.6 - 0.44.0 Change Log
• 2020: GBVS PV#16 - Soriz Gameplay Trailer
• 2020: Fahkumram releasing as a DLC playable character for Tekken 7. + Cave of Enlightenment Stage Releasing
• 2017: KOF XIV Gameplay Video - Ryuji vs Joe/Vanessa Combo Footage
• 2017: Tekken 7 TVCM and Character Episode #1
• 2017: Rivals of Aether Early Access Color Set Reveal
• 2016: KOFXIV 9th Teaser Trailer
• 2016: Tusk Trailer w/ Mira Teaser - Killer Instinct Season 3
• 2016: SFV March Update Overview – Release Date and New Details
• 2014: BBCP PSN NA Release Date Announcement
• 2014: SSB4 3/24/14 Director’s Room Post - Cuoco Appearance Reveal
• 2013: Molly being announced as the 28th choice for the Skullgirls fundraiser.
• 2009: Samurai Shodown Anthology originally releasing on the PS2, and PSP at NA.
• 2008: Smash Bros. Dojo Page on Stadium: Boss Battles (Secret Elements #21)
• 2005: KOF2002 releasing on Xbox at JP
• 2005: Darkstalkers Chronicle: The Chaos Tower releasing on PSP at NA as a regional system launch title.
• 2005: PlayStation Portable releasing at NA, BR & INA.
• 2004: Onimusha Blade Warriors releasing on PS2 at NA.
• 2000: Street Fighter Alpha releasing on the GBC at NA.

March 25

• 2021: KOF2002UM Brazilian Portuguese Language Support Announcement
• 2021: KOFXV Yashiro Sketch by Tomohiro Nakata
• 2021: Melty Blood: Type Lumina Announcement & Port Reveals/Rollback Confirmation & Sion Deconfirmation
• 2021: Phantom Breaker: Omnia Full Match - Fin vs Ren
• 2021: TFH Ver2.0 Releasing + Patch Notes
• 2021: Virtua Fighter 5 Ultimate Showdown releasing on Xbox One and PC via Windows via Yakuza 6: The Song of Life.
• 2020: Fighting Game Glossary by Evantables
• 2020: Samurai Shodown (2019) Sogetsu Gameplay Trailer
• 2019: Mortal Kombat 11 – Old Skool Vs. New Skool Trailer
• 2019: Samurai Shodown (2019) PAX East 2019 Trailer + Gameplay Footage, Release Date & Gematsu Interview
• 2019: SCVI Ver1.30 Releasing + Patch Notes
• 2016: Killer Instinct (2013) Final Season 3 Rebalance Patch Notes
• 2016: UNIB Seiichi Yoshihara Illustration
• 2015: Tekken 7 Famitsu Netcode Interview
• 2014: BlazBlue: Chrono Phantasma releasing on PS3 at NA + PS Blog & Launch Trailer
• 2014: Marie Rose releasing as a DLC playable character for DOA5U + Ver 1.05 Changelog
• 2014: SSB4 3/25/14 Director’s Room Post - 3DS Outline Comparison
• 2013: Injustice: Gods Among Us - Black Adam Gameplay & S.T.A.R. Labs Mission Mode Footage from PAX East 2013
• 2013: Skullgirls Fundraiser reaching $600K, Isacc being announced as the 29th choice for Skullgirls's fundraiser as well as Venus, Aeon and Samson.
• 2011: Dissidia 012 Final Fantasy releasing on PSP at AU/EU.
• 2011: Nintendo 3DS releasing at EU.
• 2011: Super Street Fighter IV: 3D Edition releasing on Nintendo 3DS at EU.
• 2010: KOFXIII Official Preview + Screenshots & System Mechanics Reveal
• 2008: Naruto: Ultimate Ninja 3 releasing on PS2 at NA.
• 2008: Smash Bros. Dojo Page on Jigglypuff (Secret Elements #22)
• 2005: Melty Blood Act Cadenza originally releasing at arcades at JP.
• 2004: KOF2002 releasing on PS2 at JP
• 1999: KOF98 releasing on the PlayStation at JP.
• 1999: Marvel vs. Capcom: Clash of Super Heroes releasing on the Dreamcast at JP.

March 26

• 2021: Skullgirls 2nd Encore 2021-03-26 Beta Mode Update
• 2021: Tough Love Arena 0.44.1 Change Log
• 2020: SCVI Haohmaru Trailer
• 2020: UNICLR releasing on PC via Steam WW
• 2019: Amy Sorel releasing as a DLC playable character for SCVI
• 2019: Power Rangers: Battle for the Grid originally releasing on Xbox One and Nintendo Switch worldwide.
• 2019: SFV Field of Fate Stage Releasing.
• 2019: Terry & Sharon releasing for FEXL
• 2017: Guilty Gear Xrd Rev 2 Arcade Opening Movie
• 2015: Killer Instinct (2013) - Hisako Trailer
• 2015: Tekken 7 Jin Hidden Sub-Boss Discovery
• 2015: Mortal Kombat X Official Shaolin Trailer
• 2014: Guilty Gear Xrd Sign x Lord of Vermilion III Collaboration
• 2014: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: All-Star Battle Exquisite Edition Reveal + Screenshots
• 2014: SSB4 3/26/14 Director’s Room Post - Ore Club Item Reveal
• 2013: Darkstalkers Resurrection Arcade Cabinet DLC Releasing
• 2013: Skullgirls fundraiser reaching $625K.
• 2008: Smash Bros. Dojo Page on Hanenbow (Secret Elements #23)
• 2003: Guilty Gear X2 #Reload originally releasing at arcades at JP
• 2001: Street Fighter Alpha releasing on the Game
• 1998: Samurai Shodown II releasing on the PS1 at JP.
• 1998: Tekken 3 releasing on the PS1 at JP.
• 1998: The King of Fighters '97 releasing on the Sega Saturn at JP.
• 1998: The Last Blade releasing on the Neo Geo CD at JP.
• 1994: Art of Fighting releasing on the PC Engine Arcade CD-ROM² at JP.

Hey y'all, this is fganniversaries again. Like last week, I will be recapping anniversaries relating to fighting game announcements/releases this week. Like always, if I missed one, do please let me know in the comments. Here would be the following anniversaries:
March 20

• 2022: DNF Duel Box Art Reveal
• 2022: Virtua Fighter 5 Ultimate Showdown Tekken Series Costume Collaboration Announcement Trailer
• 2021: Father of the PlayStation, Ken Kutaragi Round 1: Ep. 2 Harada's Bar
• 2021: Punch Planet - Gat Reveal
• 2020: Chaos Code -New Sign of Catastrophe- releasing on Nintendo Switch WW.
• 2019: Mortal Kombat 11 Kotal Kahn Reveal Trailer
• 2018: DBFZ Bardock Full Trailer
• 2018: Tekken 7 Noctis DLC Release
• 2018: SFV CPT 2018 DLC Announcement
• 2018: Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection Release Date Announcement + Ultra SFIV Pre-Order Trailer & NS Exclusive Tournament Battles
• 2018: The King of Fighters '98: Ultimate Match releasing on PS4 WW
• 2017: Injustice 2 - Introducing Cheetah!
• 2015: MKX Tremor, Tanya, Predator Reveal
• 2015: UNIB 03-20-2015 Licht Kreis Information Division Corner
• 2014: A First Look at Decapre!
• 2014: SSB4 3/20/14 Director’s Room Post - Diddy Kong’s Peanut Popgun Overcharging Reveal
• 2013: Dead or Alive 5 Plus releasing on PS Vita at JP.
• 2013: Injustice: Gods Among Us - Interview With Senior Producer Adam Urbano
• 2013: Skullgirls Indiegogo Campaign - Roxie Mysterious Character Reveal
• 2009: Castlevania Judgment releasing as a Nintendo Wii exclusive at EU.
• 2008: Smash Bros. Dojo Page on Smash Taunt
• 2007: Dragon Ball Z: Shin Budokai - Another Road initially releasing on PSP at NA.
• 2007: Melty Blood Act Cadenza ver.B originally releasing at arcades at JP.
• 2007: Virtua Fighter 2 (Mega Drive) releasing on the Wii Virtual Console at JP.
• 1998: Real Bout Fatal Fury 2: The Newcomers originally releasing at arcades WW.
• 1997: Samurai Shodown 3 rereleasing on PS1 under PlayStation the Best series at JP
• 1997: Tekken 3 releasing at arcades worldwide following initial limited JP release.
• 1994: 3DO Interactive Multiplayer releasing at JP.

March 21

• 2022: KOFXV Omega Rugal Reveal Trailer + Screenshots/Boss Challenge Mode Reveal
• 2021: Tekken 7 - Lidia Sobieska Character Reveal Trailer
• 2020: GGST Millia & Zato-1 Reveal
• 2019: SCVI Amy Sorel Release Date Reveal
• 2018: KOFXIV Najd DLC Gameplay Trailer
• 2017: Shin Hisako releasing as a DLC playable character for Killer Instinct (2013)
• 2017: The King of Fighters Destiny Announcement
• 2014: SSB4 3/21/14 Director’s Room Post - Phosphora Trophy Reveal
• 2013: Art of Fighting 3: The Path of the Warrior releasing on Wii Virtual Console at NA.
• 2013: Darkstakers Resurrection Arcade Cabinet DLC
• 2013: Injustice: Gods Among Us - Harley Quinn Character Trailer
• 2013: Skullgirls Indiegogo Campaign - Juju Mysterious Character Reveal
• 2008: Arcana Heart 2 originally releasing at arcades at JP.
• 2008: Smash Bros. Dojo Page on The Subspace Emissary: The Great Maze (Secret Elements #20) & Peach: Special Moves
• 1997: Night Warriors: Darkstalkers' Revenge OVA Vol 1 originally releasing.

March 22

• 2022: KOFAS x Street Fighter Ryu Official Introduction Trailer
• 2021: KOFXV Team Fatal Fury BGM Reveal
• 2021: Rivals of Aether Direct 3 Announcement
• 2021: Tekken 7 Patch Notes 4.10
• 2021: Them's Fightin' Herds - Shanty Trailer
• 2020: Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba – The Hinokami Chronicles Debut Trailer & Development Report Vol. 1
• 2019: MK11 Noob Sailot Reveal + Shang Tsung DLC Reveal
• 2018: KOFXIV Najd Press Release
• 2017: KOFXIV Vanessa DLC Reveal Trailer/Gameplay Video Whip vs Ralf
• 2017: Rivals of Aether - Making the Jump from Early Access to Full Launch
• 2016: UNIB Continuous Technique Posting Corner 8th Winners
• 2014: Killer Instinct (2013) Classic Spinal Costume Footage
• 2013: Adam and Panzerfaust being revealed for the Skullgirls fundraiser.
• 2013: Darkstalkers: Resurrection Arcade Cabinet DLC
• 2013: Dead or Alive 5 Plus releasing on the PS Vita at EU.
• 2013: Injustice: Gods Among Us Japanese Dub Trailer
• 2013: Skullgirls Indiegogo Campaign - Adam, Panzerfaust
• 2013: Street Fighter IV: Arcade Edition Ver. 2012 Character Balance Feedback - Week One
• 2012: The King of Fighters Android originally releasing worldwide.
• 2011: Dissidia 012 Final Fantasy releasing on PSP at NA.
• 1996: Battle Arena Toshinden releasing on the GameBoy at JP.
• 1996: Darkstalkers: The Night Warriors releasing on PS1 at JP.

March 23

• 2022: KOFAS x Street Fighter Full Collaboration Trailer + M. Bison & Akuma Introduction Trailers
• 2021: KOFXV Yashiro Silhouette/Behind The Scenes Music Team Fatal Fury BGM
• 2021: Lidia releasing for Tekken 7 as a DLC playable character + Island Paradise Stage Releasing.
• 2021: Tough Love Arena 0.43.4 - 0.43.5 Change Log
• 2020: Samurai Shodown (2019) EGS Port Announcement
• 2020: Tekken 7 DLC 14/15 and Patch V3.30 Notes
• 2019: FEXL Ver1.2.0 PV + Sharon & Terry Reveal/Arcade Gameplay Footage #1, #2, #3, #4/Steam Gameplay Footage #1, #2, #3, #4
• 2018: Tekken 7 Who is Noctis Part 1
• 2017: A New CFN Is Coming Your Way!
• 2017: Injustice 2: Shattered Alliances Part 3 Trailer
• 2017: Rivals of Aether Custom Controllers Now Available from Controller Chaos
• 2017: ACA Neo Geo AOF & FF releasing on Xbox One
• 2016: Killer Instinct (2013) Season 3 Pricing Details
• 2016: TTT2 Xbox One Backward Compatibility Added
• 2015: ATP Live Episode 85 ft @Harada_TEKKEN, @mykeryu, @reepal, and @MarkMan23
• 2015: Dead or Alive 5: Last Round - ‘Senran Kagura’ Costumes Trailer
• 2013: "The Glass Canopy" stage being announced for Skullgirls.
• 2012: UNIB Seth Wallpaper
• 2011: Dissidia Duodecim Prologus Final Fantasy releasing on PSP at EU
• 2007: KOF: Maximum Impact 2 releasing on PS2 at EU.
• 2007: Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection releasing on PS3 via PSN at EU & AU.
• 2007: Virtua Fighter 5 releasing on PS3 at EU.
• 2006: KoF Maximum Impact Maniax releasing on the PS2 at JP.
• 2000: KOF99 releasing on the PS1 at JP
• 1996: Night Warriors: Darkstalker's Revenge releasing on Sega Saturn at US
• 1994: Super Street Fighter II Turbo releasing at arcades at NA.

March 24

• 2022: Street Fighter V: Champion Edition - Capcom Pro Tour 2022 DLC Trailer
• 2021: Skullgirls 2nd Encore 2021-03-24 Beta Mode Update
• 2021: The King of Fighters XV - Character Trailer #11 - Yashiro Nanakase + Screenshots
• 2021: Tough Love Arena 0.43.6 - 0.44.0 Change Log
• 2020: GBVS PV#16 - Soriz Gameplay Trailer
• 2020: Fahkumram releasing as a DLC playable character for Tekken 7. + Cave of Enlightenment Stage Releasing
• 2017: KOF XIV Gameplay Video - Ryuji vs Joe/Vanessa Combo Footage
• 2017: Tekken 7 TVCM and Character Episode #1
• 2017: Rivals of Aether Early Access Color Set Reveal
• 2016: KOFXIV 9th Teaser Trailer
• 2016: Tusk Trailer w/ Mira Teaser - Killer Instinct Season 3
• 2016: SFV March Update Overview – Release Date and New Details
• 2014: BBCP PSN NA Release Date Announcement
• 2014: SSB4 3/24/14 Director’s Room Post - Cuoco Appearance Reveal
• 2013: Molly being announced as the 28th choice for the Skullgirls fundraiser.
• 2009: Samurai Shodown Anthology originally releasing on the PS2, and PSP at NA.
• 2008: Smash Bros. Dojo Page on Stadium: Boss Battles (Secret Elements #21)
• 2005: KOF2002 releasing on Xbox at JP
• 2005: Darkstalkers Chronicle: The Chaos Tower releasing on PSP at NA as a regional system launch title.
• 2005: PlayStation Portable releasing at NA, BR & INA.
• 2004: Onimusha Blade Warriors releasing on PS2 at NA.
• 2000: Street Fighter Alpha releasing on the GBC at NA.

March 25

• 2021: KOF2002UM Brazilian Portuguese Language Support Announcement
• 2021: KOFXV Yashiro Sketch by Tomohiro Nakata
• 2021: Melty Blood: Type Lumina Announcement & Port Reveals/Rollback Confirmation & Sion Deconfirmation
• 2021: Phantom Breaker: Omnia Full Match - Fin vs Ren
• 2021: TFH Ver2.0 Releasing + Patch Notes
• 2021: Virtua Fighter 5 Ultimate Showdown releasing on Xbox One and PC via Windows via Yakuza 6: The Song of Life.
• 2020: Fighting Game Glossary by Evantables
• 2020: Samurai Shodown (2019) Sogetsu Gameplay Trailer
• 2019: Mortal Kombat 11 – Old Skool Vs. New Skool Trailer
• 2019: Samurai Shodown (2019) PAX East 2019 Trailer + Gameplay Footage, Release Date & Gematsu Interview
• 2019: SCVI Ver1.30 Releasing + Patch Notes
• 2016: Killer Instinct (2013) Final Season 3 Rebalance Patch Notes
• 2016: UNIB Seiichi Yoshihara Illustration
• 2015: Tekken 7 Famitsu Netcode Interview
• 2014: BlazBlue: Chrono Phantasma releasing on PS3 at NA + PS Blog & Launch Trailer
• 2014: Marie Rose releasing as a DLC playable character for DOA5U + Ver 1.05 Changelog
• 2014: SSB4 3/25/14 Director’s Room Post - 3DS Outline Comparison
• 2013: Injustice: Gods Among Us - Black Adam Gameplay & S.T.A.R. Labs Mission Mode Footage from PAX East 2013
• 2013: Skullgirls Fundraiser reaching $600K, Isacc being announced as the 29th choice for Skullgirls's fundraiser as well as Venus, Aeon and Samson.
• 2011: Dissidia 012 Final Fantasy releasing on PSP at AU/EU.
• 2011: Nintendo 3DS releasing at EU.
• 2011: Super Street Fighter IV: 3D Edition releasing on Nintendo 3DS at EU.
• 2010: KOFXIII Official Preview + Screenshots & System Mechanics Reveal
• 2008: Naruto: Ultimate Ninja 3 releasing on PS2 at NA.
• 2008: Smash Bros. Dojo Page on Jigglypuff (Secret Elements #22)
• 2005: Melty Blood Act Cadenza originally releasing at arcades at JP.
• 2004: KOF2002 releasing on PS2 at JP
• 1999: KOF98 releasing on the PlayStation at JP.
• 1999: Marvel vs. Capcom: Clash of Super Heroes releasing on the Dreamcast at JP.

March 26

• 2021: Skullgirls 2nd Encore 2021-03-26 Beta Mode Update
• 2021: Tough Love Arena 0.44.1 Change Log
• 2020: SCVI Haohmaru Trailer
• 2020: UNICLR releasing on PC via Steam WW
• 2019: Amy Sorel releasing as a DLC playable character for SCVI
• 2019: Power Rangers: Battle for the Grid originally releasing on Xbox One and Nintendo Switch worldwide.
• 2019: SFV Field of Fate Stage Releasing.
• 2019: Terry & Sharon releasing for FEXL
• 2017: Guilty Gear Xrd Rev 2 Arcade Opening Movie
• 2015: Killer Instinct (2013) - Hisako Trailer
• 2015: Tekken 7 Jin Hidden Sub-Boss Discovery
• 2015: Mortal Kombat X Official Shaolin Trailer
• 2014: Guilty Gear Xrd Sign x Lord of Vermilion III Collaboration
• 2014: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: All-Star Battle Exquisite Edition Reveal + Screenshots
• 2014: SSB4 3/26/14 Director’s Room Post - Ore Club Item Reveal
• 2013: Darkstalkers Resurrection Arcade Cabinet DLC Releasing
• 2013: Skullgirls fundraiser reaching $625K.
• 2008: Smash Bros. Dojo Page on Hanenbow (Secret Elements #23)
• 2003: Guilty Gear X2 #Reload originally releasing at arcades at JP
• 2001: Street Fighter Alpha releasing on the Game
• 1998: Samurai Shodown II releasing on the PS1 at JP.
• 1998: Tekken 3 releasing on the PS1 at JP.
• 1998: The King of Fighters '97 releasing on the Sega Saturn at JP.
• 1998: The Last Blade releasing on the Neo Geo CD at JP.
• 1994: Art of Fighting releasing on the PC Engine Arcade CD-ROM² at JP.

I’ve been overcoming the grief from getting out of a relationship with my nex for almost a year now. I am undeniably more happy, though I still have a lot of grief to process. I remember being a happy, popular and light hearted person before the relationship. When my relationship imploded friends came to me and said that my behavior around my nex was completely the opposite of what they expected from me. I was cynical, full of complaints and other negativity.
As the veil has lifted I can remember back to when my nex came into my life, notably when she moved in with me, and the entire demeanor of her personality changed. This was probably because she was showing her true self, but I noticed how cynical she was, how much drama she would get involved in at work, the constant complaints about how her life was playing out, how broke she was, on and on. (We were not broke).
One day, I will never forget where I was, in the car going to Whole Foods in El Segundo CA and she was railing on something while in the car. She’d do this a lot, driving while ranting and it would make me feel trapped. I started to cry and said “yes, we can work on those things, but can you please stop being so angry?” She just stopped, not apologizing, we went to the store and never spoke about it again.
It only got worse form there. She started to engage in manipulation of the group of people we played games with, with someone from the group being a new target for her derision every month depending on how they pissed her off.
Did anyone else experience this constant anger, cynicism and poison from your nex?

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When I first began questioning my religion 20ish years ago, I was very interested in finding out the historical truth of what Jesus really said. Catholic, Evangelical, JW, Anglican, etc people all believed vastly different things. Their had to be some way to know the truth without relying on what your parents taught. Many redditors seem to have/had the same questions. Hopefully providing this info will help someone else.
History of course is not a hard science. Ideally, a large number of disinterested sources which corroborate without collaberating leads to near certainty. Otherwise, we use the best evidence we have. The following is meant to be objective, the consensus of the experts in the field. If something is disputed by a sizable minority of experts, I've added a qualifier ("probably"). Please offer corrections, or subjective discussions, in the comments.
I. Historical Background. We're talking about the area around the Mediterranean Sea in the first few centuries CE. Moral people followed the rules of society and liberty was not yet a concept. Women were the inferior property of men, slaves were naturally to obey their masters, the poor and rich both had roles assigned at birth. Those who rebelled against social norms were often murdered. Vast majority were polytheist, small minority were Jews who only worshipped one god. Vast majority (>90-95%) were illiterate. Those who wanted a copy of a writing copied it by hand themselves (or via a trained slave) on their own time. Writing was done on papyrus scrolls without spaces,capitals, or punctuation. Those copying texts often changed the original either by accident or to suit their own purpose.
In 63 BCE the Romans took over the Jewish city of Judea. Many sects of Jews which each had their own ideas how to best follow the OT Law. Pharisees focused on literal, Sadducees were wealthy/powerful priests focused on temple, Essanes believed in keeping to themselves. Many also apocalyptic, including John the Baptist, believed God had let Devil rule world which is why sickness/death/wafamine were everywhere. But any day now God would annoint one or more human messiah's(Greek translation-Christ) to become a powerful priest/king and rule God's kingdom on Earth where everyone would come back to life and there'd be no more hardship.
II. Life of Jesus (The first 50 years of Christianity.) 30 CE Jesus is crucified- based only on the Bible itself. There are no physical evidence or first hand accounts of Jesus. There are misattributions or frauds but no first hand stories of his disciples either. There are though only a handful of accounts of anyone who lived/died at the time/place.
Likely Jesus=Yeshua was born as a poor Jew in the small town of Nazareth (northern Palestine.) A working class "tekton"(construction worker) he followed John the Baptist then later became a teacher to Jews in rural Galilee. Possibly taught that the apocalypse was immenent and that all should follow the heart of the Torah, to love God/neighbors. Associated with poosick. Traveled to Jerusalem for passover, created a disturbance in the Temple. One of his followers handed him over to Saducees who handed him to Roman governor Pilate for conspiracy against Rome (calling himself the Jewish King.) Pilate ordered him crucified like any other political troublemaker.
Disciples were perhaps briefly distraught by reality that their king was killed as a criminal. But soon began spreading stories orally in Aramaic that Jesus was annointed after death and resurrected after crucifixion.
50 CE- Paul dictates his genuine letters to scribes in Greek: Gal, Romans, 1 Cor, 2 Cor, Philemon, Philippians, and 1 Thess. (Except 1 Cor 14:34-37 later forgery)
Tells how he was a Jewish Pharisee who persecuted Christians (maybe because the idea that the mighty Jewish king was actually a poor crucified criminal was blasphemous.) Had a revelation, met PeteCephas and Jesus' brother James. Is now certain the rapture is coming during his lifetime. Disagrees with disciples who think salvation just for Jews- Gentiles, women, poor, slaves, all who behave themselves to be saved.
66-70 CE- Judean Jews rebel against Rome, lose, Temple is destroyed.
III. First Gospels written (70-90 CE)
Most likely Mark written first, original ends at 16:8. (Somewhat subjective- portrays Jesus as an angry, fallible human preaching an apocalypse to come in the next few years. He denies being a god. Crucifixion story must be creative writing since disciples admit they weren't there.)
Then a lost sayings Gospel known as "Quelle/Q". Matthew, Luke and Thomas written later based on Q.
All of the above written in Greek. First surviving copies from 250CE or later, Papyrus 45 esp. P52 and 90 have few sentences of Jesus' trial with Pilate now found in John 18 dated to 150 CE. P104 has a parable from Q dated to 150CE.
IV. Historical Sources that Christians exist in 1st Century
93CE Josephus wites history of Jews starting with Adam/Eve. Writes that in 66CE James, the brother of Jesus, who was called Christ, was stoned.Antiquity of the Jews book 20 ch 9 Earlier book 18 passage either partly or completely forged.
100 CE- Papius of Hierapolis mentions Mark, sayings gospel, and Luke/Acts. Survives only as quoted by later Church fathers.
c. 100 CE Two early Church teachings the Didache and 1 Clement
112 CE Pliny the Younger discusses Christians with emporer Trajan in Letter 10
115 CE Historian Tacitus writes in the Annals about Christians, who worship a Christ, put to death under Pontius Pilate during Tiberius' reign.
V. Christianity Split Into Large Branches (2nd & 3rd Century)
Many sects splintered off which each had their believers, rituals, and wrote their own texts. To oversimplify- A) Ebionites believed Jesus was a man adopted as God's son at either his baptism or death. Only observant Jews can be Christian. Followed Matthew's Gospel which portrays Jesus exactly like OT prophets. (Virgin birth possibly created as Greek speaking author misunderstood Isaiah's prophecy.)
B) Marcionites/Docetics believed Jesus was really the true God, and OT God was false. Used Luke which portrays Jesus as completely divine. Also Gospel of Peter.
C) Gnostics believed salvation found in hidden knowledge of Jesus' teachings. Most likely believed world created by a lesser demon of OT and true God is hidden. Many are seperationists-believe Jesus was a fusion of man and God- and follow Mark (Spirit enters Jesus at baptism and leaves him on cross.) Likely also used Thomas. Later wrote Phillip, Mary, James, Gospel of Truth, Apocryphon of John, etc)
d) Pre-Catholic Orthodox. This is the group that won so we have the most evidence of. Believed in martyrdom since death of Jesus important. Starting with Iraneus in 180 CE write mountains against heretics. Ironically, some beliefs of each early Church father (Iraneus,Tertullian, Hippolytus, Origen) later decided to be heretical. The slurs used against "heretics" were most likely false, as they contradict the discovered Gnostic texts.
In Against Heresies iii Iraneus writes that John's Gospel was specifically written (after 100CE) to counter the claim that Jesus was a different God from that who created the world. Notice how John's is the only Gospel to firmly claim Jesus to be God (and the only God at that.)
IV. Catholicism Established 4th c Emporer Constantine legalized Christianity in 320CE. As the orthodox group held the most power they were able to establish their beliefs via the Nicene Creed in 325CE, other branches became heretical and illegal. 350 CE- Codex Sinaiticus our oldest nearly complete NT dated, close to modern version. 381- Council of Constantinople irons out concept of trinity.
Further reading This is mostly based off my notes of the NT scholar Bart Ehrman's books, especially misquoting Jesus, although I did try to be objective.
Read the current Bible here NRSV most accurate English.
The Gnostic writings can be found here
The 70ish papyri fragments we have can be viewed here for those who can read konic Greek.
TLDR
Nothing was written during Jesus' life or by his followers. Jesus wasn't considered a god at all until 100 CE. Much less the only god. The concept of the Trinity and that our bible is only accurate version is from the 4th century-over 300 years later.

​

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The second they both crossed into the apartment, she closed the door behind them. Jasen thought for a moment that he heard the lock click, but wasn't sure. Her eyes were cast downward, moving again over the words on the paper. Nerves ran through Jasen, more pronounced than any he had ever known in his life. Running his tongue over his still tingling lips, he relished in the taste she left there.
“You left this note for me?” She finally spoke slowly and carefully, running her fingers over the words. “The morning when you were gone... this was there for me, but I missed it?”
With an excruciating amount of concentration, he kept his words organized and did not allow them to spill out at once. “I figured you must have been starving, I knew I was, so I only got up to grab some food from the lobby for us to eat. When I told you that I didn't bring you there to sleep with you, I meant it. I wanted to see you again; that's why I went back to the bar looking for you.”
“Zeke took your number from you, but he never gave it to me.”
“Would you have called if he did?”
Her eyes flickered upward for the briefest moment, then back downward again. “I would have wanted to...”
Having gotten to know how timid and reserved she was, he nodded, understanding her meaning but not quite wanting to push the question any further. “People are more than the things that happen to them, more than the reactions they have to the things that happen.” Her words from a short time before, while they lie on the ground at the park, exhausted and dizzy from spinning, ran through his head. “Watching you dance, Kairi, was beyond amazing. You are beyond amazing.”
Her head was down, looking at the paper she still clutched, but was no longer reading. Gently, he reached out and pulled the sheet from her hand, setting it aside on her couch. The motion caused her to look up, and straight into his eyes. She started to speak, but cut herself off with an almost defeated sigh.“Kairi,” his hand found her shoulder and pulled her closer. “If you want me to leave, I'll leave. I'll back off. But I want you to know...”
Springing to her tip toes, she set her lips gently against his, first silencing his words then stealing all thoughts that had lain behind them. “I don't want you to back off,” she admitted in a whisper. “Not if you don't want to.”
Jasen's lips twitched to a smile. His arms came up and caught Kairi around the back, pulling her closer. “This is exactly where I want to be.” Their lips came together again, slowly and the taste of her kiss took him over.
Yet, to his surprise, she pushed him away. “I’m, uh…” A nervous chuckle fell from her. “I’m still covered in nasty dry sweat from earlier, and probably smell bad, actually.” He eyes fell.
“No, you’re fine, I…” His attempt at pulling her close again was resisted.
“I really should shower. You can wait here if you want while I do. Actually, uh… wait here, please. It shouldn’t take me that long, and I’ll feel like a human being again.” Despite wanting to beg her to stay right where she stood, and to convince her that she was absolutely perfect, even while sweaty and stinky, Jasen dropped her arms from her and let her walk away. “It’ll just be a few minutes. Uh… makes yourself comfortable, if you want.”
With that she shuffled off toward the bathroom, closing the door swiftly behind her. Jasen, confused and defeated, dropped himself to the sofa. He could hear her moving about beyond the door, and it was near impossible for him not to think about the way he'd watched her body move earlier that night. Then the squeak of the pipes coming to life just before water began to patter against the tub. Several deep breaths were helpful, but didn't clear the thoughts completely.
Just as he had resolved to get up and move around, his ears perked up, not quite sure he'd heard something. He froze mid-stand. “Jasen?” Obvious nerves filled her voice as she called out to him from behind the closed door. Jasen rose slowly and moved toward her. “Jasen?” She called again.
“Yeah, Kairi?” Only a few feet stood between him and the bathroom.
“Can you come here?”
“I'm right outside the door. Is something wrong?”
She left open a slight, hesitant pause. “Come in here...please?”
He was unsure and the smallest bit shaky, though didn't quite understand why. Moving slowly, he reached toward the door handle, resting his fingers there for a moment before turning and pushing. There she stood, only a few feet in front of him, wearing nothing but a towel, her hair still wrapped in its loose bun. All of her clothes lay in a heap on the floor; had he been able to take his eyes from her, he would have seen the white lace panties and matching bra that had been covering her body. His eyes traveled from her head past all the curves to her toes, then back up to her eyes. She was biting her bottom lip. “Close the door.”
Without thinking, he did was he was told. “Wha...” he started the ask the obvious question, but all words were gone from his mind. Her perfect eyes, looking up at him, refused to let him think.
“I was wondering if you'd like to join me.” Despite trying to push the nerves from her voice, a few still hung to the ends of her words.
“You want me t...” Now it was really hard to think.”
She moved toward him, reaching around his frame to swing the door closed. “I was wondering...” – her hands were on the hem of his shirt, beginning to slide it upward – “... if maybe you would...” – her soft hands were sliding along his bare skin as she continued to push upward. His heart sped up. – “... like to join me in the shower.”
“K-Kairi... I...”
Her hands stopped moving and she tore her eyes away from him. “Sorry. If you don't...”
“No, no. I d... I mean I do, just... um....” The feeling of her hands was too much to allow any complete thoughts to pass through his head. He took a deep breath. “Are you sure you want to?”
Without another word, she pushed his shirt up past his shoulders, and he lifted his arms to allow it. Even before it hit the floor, he pulled her body against his, looking into her eyes one more time before the desire to taste her lips took over. His tongue brushed her lips, gentle and sweet.
Fingers brushing down his sides, Kairi moved until her finger tips came to the edge of his jeans, sliding inward. Slowly, they worked against the button, then the zipper, teasing just inside his boxers as they went. He sighed heavily against her mouth.
His jeans and boxers hit the floor. She pulled him along as she stepped backwards. The towel fell to the floor.
“Are...are you...” he spoke against her lips, capable of even less thought than before. “Are you sure?”
“Do you like me?”
“I think it's more than that.”
“Then I'm sure.” He looked down, once again running his eyes along her curves, but this time taking every last one in. She stepped backwards, over the edge of the tub and into the stream of the water. Instantly, the water flattened her hair as it cascaded down her body. He watched the droplets roll before realizing she was looking at him, beautiful eyes locked on his and a coy yet nervous smile across her lips. Jasen followed and stepped into the stream.
Before the glass door even finished swinging shut, Kairi wrapped herself around him, kissing him solidly. Their naked bodies pressed together, no space between them. Her tongue slipped between his lips, making his heart race and his knees weak. Jasen pulled his fingers through her wet, tangled hair, running his tongue along her own. A moan escaped his lips.
She began to shift downward, moving along the side of his face, kissing to his neck, reaching his chest. His breathing grew heavier, slowly beginning to realize what she was doing. The water cascaded over them. “K-Kairi...uuhhh!” Her lips wrapped lightly around his cock, tongue running along the side. Grabbing the bar along the side of the shower for support, Matt groaned in approval. She slid forward, taking more of him into her mouth, circling around with her tongue as she went.
Gripping her hair more solidly, it was all he could do to keep from pulling her in toward him or thrust himself forward. “Shit, Kairi...” he moaned, deep in the back of his throat.
She began to bob, moving one hand to grip the base of his cock with the other resting against his thigh. Jasen focused on the feeling of her soft tongue, her warm mouth sliding along him. Looking down, he saw her cheeks swell and fall with her every movement, then her eyes shift upward to him. Moans echoed off the tiled walls.
Kairi was moving faster, her eyes never leaving Jasen's. Her tongue slid along every inch of his shaft until she pulled back and sucked gently on just the head. His abs grew tense, started twitching, his hands gripping even tighter to her hair. “Oh... okay... okay...” Almost unwillingly, he pushed her away, his hard cock slipping from her mouth.
“D... Did I do something wrong?” The corner of her lips were glowing pink, her fingers still wrapped around the base of his cock. There was an innocence behind her eyes that made him, despite their current position, want to wrap her in his arms.
Instead, he leaned against the wall and tried to call his breath. “No, God no. That was... I was just.... getting close.
Her innocence shifted to a coy smile as she began to rise up. “Are you hoping you'll get to finish a different way?”
The look in her eyes, the seduction in her voice, he couldn't help himself. Flipping her around, he braced her against the side of the shower. His lips dropped to her neck, breathing against her skin heavily. “Mmmm, I was just thinking that I'd hate to finish without you.” Fingers brushing down her sides, he nibbled gently, slowly on the crook of her neck. Just as slowly, Jasen kissed upward to her jaw.
“I want you,” she whispered, he voice more intoxicating than ever.
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