Its not toxic nic d lyrics

I recently posted in another sub (one about attachment styles) about being sad that an ex had said he could no longer be friends with me and that we needed to cut off contact.
We had been broken up for about two years and live on opposite sides of the country. We’d had a rough breakup, but both of us had expressed a desire to stay in touch. He didn’t say why he had suddenly changed his mind, but I heard from someone else that he had a new gf, so I suspect that either he felt our friendship was a threat to his new relationship or his new gf was jealous and didn’t like him staying in touch with me.
In my post I expressed that I wished we could remain friends and that I felt going no contact with an ex (outside of an abusive situation) is just a way of avoiding complicated feelings. Other people in the sub piled on me saying it’s unhealthy to stay friends with your exes, that I must have major attachment issues to want to stay in touch, that he and I aren’t actually “friends” and I’m secretly wanting to get back together with him, that I’m disrespecting his new relationship by wanting to stay in touch, and that for him to cut off contact with me is the healthy and mature thing to do.
I almost never cut people out of my life. While we may drift apart over time, I’ve tried to remain friends with all of my exes except for one, who was abusive, and who I am physically afraid of. I also try to stay in touch with friends, even if we’ve grown apart, and generally welcome people back into my life if we’ve lost touch, and try to work through conflicts and forgive past transgressions if I feel someone has grown and changed or has expressed genuine remorse for causing harm.
Someone’s role in my life may change, but if I cared deeply for someone at one time, chances are I’ll still find value in keeping in touch.
I see this as both philosophical and emotional.
While I may need space after a breakup or falling out, it would go against my values to cut people out of my life entirely, to block their number, block them on social media, refuse to go to social events where I might run into them, etc.
Furthermore, I miss people. Just because I’m not romantically involved with someone anymore doesn’t mean I can’t still appreciate discussing our common interests, etc. and I don’t feel doing so prevents me from being able to date new people. If it was a threat to a new relationship, that would mean I wasn’t ready for a new relationship, and cutting off contact with my ex wouldn’t change that.
I don’t think this means I’m insecurely attached, but I do wonder if certain attachment styles are more compatible with RA than others. I believe I am mostly securely attached, but with some anxious preoccupied tendencies (particularly when dating someone inconsistent). I believe my ex who recently cut off contact is anxious preoccupied. He didn’t like me being friends with my previous ex when we started dating (he didn’t try to stop me, but would get very insecure and emotional about it). My previous ex who was more avoidant was fine with remaining friends.
Curious what other RA folks think about keeping people in your life vs cutting off contact and attachment theory as it relates to exes and anyone whose role in your life has changed (for example, a previously close friend who you’re no longer close with).

hey so i’ve just got re2 and 3 on sale and it’s gonna be my first time on them, im really not sure who to play as first though? i’ve heard there are A and B segments for each character but really i’d just like to know what order is generally best in you guys opinion. oh and im a huge leon fan so if it’s better for him to be played first or second pls let me know :)

Finished writing this up
Covers most things about the army. Not painting yet because I'm not that great at it myself, but playing, list building and collecting. Got several tornament players to proofread it.
Enjoy
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1tyeb1R83SmrnEBQyhvqESWCK3CIKPjlDZhxW9Yc0m0s/edit?usp=sharing

Hi all,
I built my pc back in 2016 and thankfully, the only things that have failed in that time were my ram and one of my harddrives.
Recently (2-3 months) I’ve been having these really weird issues which have been getting worse over time - it started when I’d be playing a game on one monitor (not even a taxing game, just league for example) and watching YouTube / browsing on the other. Occasionally it would stutter and on some occasions it would just disconnect my usb hub completely which would result in throwing off my mouse/KB and external hard drive.
Then I found that I could rarely get Adobe Lightroom to work - I’d have to leave it to load everything for 10 minutes or else it would just end up with program not responding, which is a big problem for me as I’ve been doing some wedding photography recently for friends and need it to edit. If I tried to watch something on another screen everything would just close down straight away and on one occasion I lost half of the work I’d been doing.
And now, pretty much from startup my computer will lag or won’t respond, the mouse will stutter across the screen and it’ll disconnect everything when all I’m doing is watching YouTube. When it does settle, every 10 seconds or so the mouse won’t respond for a second.
I was convinced it was a cpu issue and the more I looked into cpu issues, the more it sounded like that was the case but I’ve also seen people suggest it’s a PSU issue.
I’m currently running an i7 6700k and 1070 so I do feel like it’s due an upgrade anyway. Is it worth upgrading or do you think it’s likely just the PSU? If I go for a full upgrade, I’ll probably continue using the 1070 until I’ve got the money to get a 3080 or something!
Main usage: Adobe Lightroom / Photoshop mixed with lighter - medium gaming.
TLDR: Do I upgrade a failing pc setup from i7 6700k to i5 12600k or just try and fix with a new PSU?

Source - https://boringmoney.substack.com/p/adani-finds-an-investor (my newsletter -- do check it out and subscribe if you'd like to receive future posts about finance stories in India right in your inbox)
--
An investor’s main job is to disagree with everyone else. You buy a stock if you think the price is low, and sell it if you think it’s high. When you’re buying, you think the stock price is low and will go up, but you’re buying it from someone who thinks the opposite. Similarly, you sell a stock when you think the price is high, but the investor on the other side thinks otherwise. There’s quite a bit of disagreement!
Yes, I’m oversimplifying. There are lots of folks in the markets. Some might be gambling. Others might buy a stock even if they think it’s expensive, because they think there’ll be a greater fool who they can sell it to later at an ever higher price. That said, it’s useful to think of an investor as someone seeking to be contrarian. They want to disagree with other investors because that’s how they really make money.
GQG Partners is an American investment firm known to make contrarian investments in companies. Earlier this month, it invested ₹15,446 crore ($1.9 billion) in Adani Group companies. Definitely a contrarian bet after the Group was accused of fraud and their stocks fell by more than 50%. (In case you somehow missed the whole saga, I wrote about it here.)
One reaction to this is of skepticism. Adani Group has anyway used Mauritius-based funds to inflate its own stock prices (so the accusation goes), maybe it’s now using GQG? Well… GQG isn’t a strange Mauritius fund. It’s a company that manages $90 billion that everyone knows about and generally has a good reputation.
Okay, let’s chuck their reputation. Large banks have great reputations yet do shady deals all the time. If you’re an investment firm that manages funds with your clients’ money, and you’re in the mood to “help” a company that’s just been accused of fraud, you might do it with maybe one or two of the many funds that you manage. Why risk more?
GQG bought shares of 4 Adani companies, and it did so across more than 20 distinct funds. Some of those 20 funds include retirement funds for

1. Government employees of two US states, New York and Texas
2. Australian workers
3. Saudi Arabian citizens

I mean… GQG isn’t going to be intentionally messing around with retirement funds across three continents, less so government ones. Adani is really just a contrarian investment.
Adani (finally) sells some stock
Back in late January, Hindenburg Research accused the Adani Group of fraud. At the time, the conglomerate was in the process of selling some stock to investors. There were broadly three reasons for this stock sale:

1. Fund new projects
2. Repay some company loans
3. Reduce Adani’s (the individual’s) stake in Adani Enterprises, which is super high and close to the upper limit of 75%. This would also help in shutting up people (like me) who claimed Adani share prices were high only because he owned all the shares

Eventually, though, Adani Group cancelled the stock offering and returned whatever money it did raise. In a way, Adani finally did this month what he couldn’t in January. He sold some stock to investors!
There’s a difference. In January, it was Adani Enterprises selling stock. This time around, it was Adani the person that sold the stock. [1] The difference between Adani and his companies is often blurry, because he owns more than 60-70% of all his companies, but there is still a difference.
Because it was Adani the person that sold the stock and not Adani the company, the money fulfils different goals. He can’t really fund new projects [2] and he can't repay company loans. In fact, Adani's already putting some projects on hold.
What Adani can do with this money is repay his own loans! When Adani stock prices fell, banks that had lent money to Adani against his companies’ stock asked for some of the money back. So Adani decided to repay his loans in full. Here’s him two weeks ago repaying $2.65 billion that he borrowed to buy Ambuja Cements. I had earlier written about him repaying a similar loan of $1.1 billion.
Adani didn’t want to fund new projects, or repay the high debt that his companies have frequently been criticised for. But he clearly really needed money to repay his own loans. It was a happy coincidence that he succeeded in fulfilling goal (3) that I mentioned above—he reduced his own stake in his companies, a bit at least.
GQG likes the leniency
I wrote earlier that a company being accused of fraud, by itself, wasn’t reason enough for investors to think less of it. If you’re a company that’s accused of a number of frauds, and one of those frauds is being on the receiving end of government “leniency”, it could actually be good for your investors.
When Adani stocks started to fall, the problem wasn’t that Adani Group was accused of defrauding the government or people at large. The problem was that the Group was accused of fraud against its own investors by inflating its companies’ share prices.
For an investor whose job it is to be contrarian, the question then becomes—do the benefits of the first kind of fraud outweigh the pitfalls of the second kind of fraud? Rajiv Jain, the chairman of GQG Partners, spoke to ET Now on a Sunday morning after the $1.9 billion investment in Adani companies. Here’s what he said: [3]

Something not well appreciated is that the barriers to entry in infrastructure anywhere in the world are very high, particularly in India, execution extremely difficult.
You might remember that POSCO Iron and Steel tried to acquire land for seven, eight years, couldn't even acquire land, and then they left. So greenfield projects are very, very difficult. And that's what actually we quite like about this group is they have shown remarkable ability to execute on greenfield projects. And I feel that they don't get full credit for that in terms of ability to pull that off.

Rajiv Jain likes that Adani could build infrastructure projects in a country where other multinationals couldn’t even acquire land in eight years. Yeah, I think what he’s saying is that he likes the “leniency” that Adani’s been getting from the government. And he’s willing to pay a higher price for the company because the benefits outweigh the costs. [4]
​
Footnotes
[1] “Adani the person” could be Adani’s family members, the trusts that hold his stock, etc., not necessarily the man himself.
[2] Technically he can, it’s still his money. But he’d have to lend to his companies, in which case he would rather just have raised money via a stock offering directly.
[3] If you watch the interview you’ll see that the swooning journalist doesn’t ask Rajiv Jain the tough questions. The journalist asks him about what he thought of Hindenburg’s accusations, and Jain waives them off saying it’s stuff everyone has already known for a while. But what does he think about the specific accusation of Adani owning Mauritius-based funds to inflate his stock prices and defraud his investors? No idea, the question wasn’t asked.
[4] Another way to look at this is that the accusations against Adani are of defrauding on price, not on assets. The assets that Adani companies own are real and tangible, there is no argument about it. The accusation of defrauding investors is about overpricing the assets, something that GQG seems to think is fine after the massive fall in share prices.
​
Source - https://boringmoney.substack.com/p/adani-finds-an-investor

I last drank at a super bowl party (2/11/23), I had gotten so blacked out I don’t recall the game. My drinking had become excessive due to the luxury of public transportation in the city and thus always being able to get home responsibly. But this luxury became a pattern and soon I was drinking almost everyday or every time I went out. At the super bowl party I can remember a moment when my friend said “oop we got ‘dark Bob’”after I had started going on a rant about how my life had sucked in that moment. To keep it short the last year and a half have been incredibly hard (break up, moving out on my own, need surgery to repair a broken wrist, finding out I had a long lost sister, going to 84 mlb games, a lot of stuff). I used drinking to cope, I knew I did it in the moment and didn’t care. When I was drunk, I’d get sad thoughts, thoughts like “your life sucks because of your mistakes, you ruined it, you’re being a burden on your friends, you’re not liked, you should end it.” My drunk thoughts began to scare me and when my friend mentioned I exhibited a “dark” version of myself when I drank I knew I needed to take a break. Jump forward a little over a month alcohol free and life has felt great, I’m about to close on my first home, I’ve found a new appreciation for the time I spend with my friends, and have realized I don’t need booze to have a good time.
My question is…whats next? Part of me wonders if I should join a support group like AA, I’m not sure if I qualify enough to be welcomed to a program and I know if I was to go sober for good I’d I’ll miss some social aspects of drinking: wine and cheese pairings with a significant other, beers at the ballpark, toasts at special events. I haven’t craved alcohol like I do with other “addictive habits” so part of me thinks I can successfully moderate my drinking going forward from this experience, but the thought of “when I drink again” invokes some anxiety in me. I also know alcohol is a big factor in a couple moments in my life where I really screwed myself over, I never want to make those mistakes again.
Thanks for letting me rant this was very therapeutic and any advice is welcomed!

For someone who has never ever done this and has just started to think about and make plans after dealing with poor-to-failing mental health due to an unhappy, unsafe, invalidating, toxic, problematic, abusive home environment; untreated and unresolved traumas; 'settling' for a long time (e.g.: this is fine/okay/enough even though it isn't and only doing it for the sake of family); fear of rejection and failure, how did it all go on your end?

• Did age and grades make a huge difference on your application? I've recently turned 32 and graduated college almost 12 years ago
• Your employment history whether they were related to your graduated course or not
• Application processing, expenses and funding, whether it was loaned and/or saved-up
• Medical examination: are there any very important pointers and potential warnings I should heavily know (e.g.: certain illnesses/test results that can potentially get me denied)
• IELTS: I've never done a test and I fear that I won't be able to score the requirement the schools of choice/assessed by the agency required for international students

Despite the last time I talked about my plan with one of my parents after a virtual consultation with one of the agencies, they brought up the times I had breakdowns/meltdowns after failing a midtern exam and another during a bullying incident. Another time was on what if I become a victim of a crime while I'm there and who will I turn to if I get sick. I intend to study at an Australian state wherein there are no family friends within the area as I don't want to be so much of a burden to them and I fear I could potentially hurt and/or abuse them.
I've had second-guessings, a hell-ton of doubt and the fear of failure because of them, but in the end, I want to do this.
I know this is already very TMI, cringey, moany, whiney, lame, inappropriate, sob story of a post; and for that, I apologize in advance. I just wanted to be in a different environment wherein I'm free to say, do, think and express the things I believe and feel comfortable in; set boundaries and limit contact to me and my family and also to further expand my horizons/prospects in both academic and workforce aspects. Hopefully also get proper therapy with an open-minded, non-religious and trauma-informed therapist in AU and the needed mental health exams and diagnosis to further my journey to healing.
If you've read all of the stuff I've typed in, thank you in advance for reading and I hope you can help this adult be further educated in the ins-and-outs, dos-and-donts and important parts of this hopefully happening future plan of mine.

shes never said it upfront but its pretty clear to me from the way she acts towards sex and how she spoke of having a really high libido before we started having sex and got together. often she’ll just lose the feeling for it mid sex too which kind of makes me sad but its okay. shes my first partner but im not hers. i have a pretty small penis and ive struggled with finding a partner thats okay with it, now i have a girlfriend who actually still likes me despite it but it still feels like a huge weight on me to kind of aknowledge she doesnt really like it. i dont want to leave her over this because i dont think i can find anyone who’d want me more than she does. (im also pretty short and male presenting so not that many people deem me very desireable) any help?

The ds723+ has a pcie slot, intentionally used vor nic and ssd's. Buth getting it to work with the coral pcie accelerator would be awesome. According to the coral site it works with any debian based linux, which is DSM7 as far as I understood. Synology support says it "might work" so I guess they think it will work but since it is not officially supported, the support will not say yes.
Has anyone tried it?

I’ve posted several times and keep coming back to my relationship of 4 years.
I’m beyond upset and unsure if my partner even loves/cares for me and/or our relationship.
We don’t ever spend quality time. She is on her phone or laptop from morning to bedtime. Once in a while we will watch tv before bed. We go weeks sometimes even months without spending quality time. I’ve voiced how sad and alone I feel.
I’ve cried many times, way too much and she doesn’t even hug me or have any emotion. She walks away or says I cry too much. I told her this is my first time crying in 2023 and she still says I cry too much. I also was layed off from work and told her I feel alone and scared and wish I had a loving partner that was more supportive and her reply was that “I always need to support you”, “it’s always something”.
On top of that there are way too many double standards. For example if I don’t make it to her family/daughters cheer because I’m not feeling well or something it’s a problem (which I’m apologetic and try to make it to her daughters stuff because it’s important to her and her daughter) but when I ask to hang with my family she just says I don’t feel like going. When I was on the phone for 15 minutes she got upset with me yet she is on the phone for 8-9hrs a day. From the moment she wakes up until she goes to bed.
I’ve tried communicating but she either doesn’t even respond or just says okay and does absolutely nothing. I’ve provided solutions on phone addictions and told her I’d be happy to do some of them with her but she doesn’t do anything. We see a therapist and my gfs schedule is busy so I told the therapist I’d have her figure out her schedule and text and it’s been over a week and she hasn’t done it. I ask her and she says she’s been busy but it literally takes 30 seconds. I told her it’s not a priority for her. She has time for all the gossip/drama, friends dinners, Instagram but not her relationship. No time for the person who has her back.
Please let me know if I’m missing something. She just says I’m desensitized to you crying. As far as never putting an effort to change anything she has no answer. I told her actions show her priorities and I don’t know if she truly loves and cares about me.
Would love to hear unbiased thoughts.

This sort of thing has been posted before ((https://www.reddit.com/DnD/comments/f701xq/looking_for_feedback_on_plot/)) So i hope this is allowed here.
Now beforehand i want to make it clear that i am writing a lot here, but i am an author by heart and it seems my party wants a big, dramatic story. (super tldr at the bottom)
Basically, the world was created after a big war between a good god and a bad good (Ranul and Nus [get it, Lunar and Sun backwards, so sun and moon?]) Anyways thanks to the "good" gods army of 13 brave warriors, they beat the evil Ranul and kill him, making the moon a giant tomb for him. And through the magic that originated from Ranul's realm, they recreate the world, Xenoblade style.
So turns out that the Warlock of the 13 didnt quite follow the plan and made a pact with Ranul, keeping him alive inside the moon in exchange giving him Immortality. ((that is because this Warlocks Patron was the "big old one" and in this homebrew lore, that one is actually Ranul)) So because they had a sort of """bond""" from him being his Patron, he decides to go along with that. So now all warlocks having the big old one as a patron actually are working with Ranul in the moon, so their powers are homebrewed to strengthen at full moon and such.
Thats when we get to the main plot, basically for some mysterious reason, a local mage in a town got sick and the group has to find a cure to him. A friendly local nobel says that in an old, forgotten lab they could find a special fruit, which can cure any illness. On the way there they find a weird young guy called Beelzebub, i wonder if hes important. The group goes in, kills a bad guy called Gahael inside and heals the Mage, but later they notice, oh shock, that more cities are having this illness' outbreak.
So they go and try to find the source, during that time, a lot of holy symbols all across the world get stolen, i wonder why, and the world finds out, that one of the 13 Nations is actually poisoning the manaflow, thus all the mages across the land got sick. ((This is because the magic fruit originates from that Nation, so they wanted everyone to depend on them and their medicine)) They beat the big bad guy and gahael and throw one of the fruits into the manaflow and all is well and everyone is cured*.
But then plottwist; The entire plan had a second part, and that is making Ranul escape from the moon*², as some hidden, old scriptures say that mayhaps the old legend of the 13 warriors had actually a bad, untold plot (that being the warlock letting Ranul life)
<>
But then plottwist 2; Beelzebub was actually the warlock all along and was pulling the strings. He actually planned all of this shit to go down and uses the chance to finish his big plan.He uses the insane amount of mana of Ranuls dead body, and the holy symbols of all 13 nations*³ (including the fruit, which is the symbol of the druid) and tries to reset the world once more, as he saw all his friends die, because, yknow, immortality, and wants to create a world without sorrow or death.
The group either decide that his plan is good and he "wins", creating the world of Campaigne 2, or, the party stops him and defeats him, eventually showing him the beauty of balance, that death and sorrow have a part in the world, and without it he wouldnt value the little happiness he has.
*Its too much to write all out and describe, but the home of this big bad guy is very poor, its a big, icy landscape, so he wanted to A) use the dependency on their medicine to make them wealthy and B) make them rich enough to bring Ranul back, that idea coming from a combination of Beelzebubs manipulation and Ranul's messages to the bbg
*²as above, this plan comes from the idea that beelzebub told them "hey yo, if you bring the old one back he'll make your nation not only wealthy, but powerful and stuff so maybe help me steal some holy symbols and bring him back~?"
*³ The idea being, that the original Xenoblade reset comes from all the 13 giving their mana to create a new world, he wants to use the different holy symbols of the 13 (including his own) to sort of "fake" their mana and recreate the reset, using a huge amount of mana, that being Ranuls
Any questions and especially feedback welcome, also sorry its so much
Super Tl:Dr; 13 Warriors (so a cliché dnd party) remakes the world after a battle, and the players try to stop one of the 13 from resetting the world again after his immortality caused him to see his friends die

backstory: i recently set up a fundraiser for myself (i’ll spare you the sob story) and it didn’t really take off.
so i starting using some of what i got to help random reddit strangers who just needed a pick me up ($5-$10 increments, nothing crazy).
the pure joy it gave me AND the person receiving was so cool. it’s not much, but it’s enough to make a difference.
so then i started thinking about this woman who went viral on TikTok a while back for taking donations on Venmo to give large tips to service workers.
i want to do that, but only here on reddit. i don’t want to share it on other platforms, and the only people that the proceeds would go to would be fellow reddit users who just need someone to brighten their day.
i’d like to call it “reddit’s pay it upward and onward”.
i have a test business page set up on Venmo for it, which provides some security to people donating and also shows money coming in AND going out.
what are your thoughts/opinions/advice on this idea? how can i make it happen?

For the record, he was controlling and manipulative, which is why I’m getting divorced. I’ve been trying to process everything in therapy. Perhaps it wasn’t a good idea, but I started watching the show You because it was recommended to me. Joe reminds me so much of my ex. It’s uncanny. I know it’s just a show, but it’s pretty terrifying.
He love bombed me from the start, put me on a pedestal, tried to overprotect me and isolate me from the world, believed he knew what was best for me, and had an “us vs. the world” mentality. I used to think it was romantic until I started to see how he was gaslighting and manipulating me. I changed my personality a lot because of the positive reinforcement I received from him, but I wasn’t true to myself at all. If I did anything he felt a was “out of character” (it could be something as simple as going to the mall one day) he’d make feel incredibly guilty, as if he was a wounded puppy and I stabbed him in the back.
He used to watch a lot of LiveLeak videos and YouTube crime channels. I never really understood, but I did know other people who’ve watched LiveLeak videos, so I didn’t really think too hard about it. But thinking back on things, idk… 😳 He does love animals quite a bit, so I never thought he’d be capable of hurting anyone. But he is a super negative and depressed person a lot of the time. He wanted to have kids, but I have a fear of dying in childbirth. His response was always “sometimes bad things just happen,” and he’d “have no problem taking care of the baby as a single parent.” Wtf kind of response is that?
In addition, I know his dad is misogynistic and has hit his mother at least once (who knows the full story). My ex said it “only happened once,” and it made him lose respect for his dad. But the more I think about it, the more I wonder about it.
His family is from a more traditional, conservative country, and he had some family members that beat up and hospitalized someone because one guy’s wife was having an affair with that person. My ex wasn’t really phased by it and seemed to act like it was justified.
Anyway, I have been feeling unsettled by all this. My ex had never physically hurt me, and these things in isolation may not mean anything…but looking at the full picture…? I don’t really know what to feel…

Hi, expecting my first baby in July and have just started looking at strollers. It is overwhelming and I could use some advice. We live in a semi-urban old town with lots of potholes, no sidewalks, and often gravel or dirt paths and a VERY hot climate 8 months of the year so looking for a good stroller with wheels that can do the job and a good sun canopy to keep the baby cool that’ll last to toddler years. It’s a very walkable town (everything is within a square mile) so I expect I’d use the stroller as the main means of transporting the baby.
We have a car that we only mainly use for travel out of town (in town everything is walkable) once or twice a month but size is a consideration especially with suitcases.
Looking for a stroller or travel system within $450 (open to consideration that are higher if the stroller can be found on sale). There are no viable options for buying used where we live.
I’ve heard about the Babyjogger city mini gt2 but all the reviews say the previous version was better and a lot of the addons have been discontinued recently.
Jogging strollers have also been mentioned—would they be good for everyday use on gravel roads (not jogging)??
Would really appreciate some insight and any recommendations!! Thanks!

Background
I'm a 20 year old Asian American guy raised by my single mom and a sister who is 2 years older than me. In my younger years my mother was an alcoholic and I was mostly raised by my older sister until she started going through her own problems and living her own life when she was 13, and after that I was basically on my own until I was about 16/17 after my mom quit drinking. My older sister would check in on me every now and then, but it wasn't very often and it didn't stave off the feelings of depression, anxiety, and loneliness I felt growing up. Add on the fact that I was homeschooled from the ages of 14-16, and I was never allowed to go outside the house for something that's not school until I turned 19 and you have the perfect storm of mental issues.
During these times and even now, my family was really emotionally violatile and irritable so I followed their lead and developed anger issues that I was shamed for having because I was a man and it wasn't acceptable. I would start fist fights with my older sister when I was around 10-13 years old after she'd goad me on and my family would shame me for getting baited into it and escalating, as I got older I switched to screaming instead but screaming matches intensified my underlying anxiety and caused me to leave every arguement in tears or on the verge of a panic attack. My sister and my mom constantly arguing with each other forced me to learn how to bite my tongue to "maintain the peace" by taking care of them before taking care of myself. During these times when my performance and school and how well I could keep up with chores determined my worth in their eyes, doing good was the only way to prove that I was worth anything and doing bad meant I was worthless.
Thanks to some good friends and soul searching I was able to break free of the chain of expectations they placed on me by taking a year off of social media and only focusing on myself when I turned 19, and I found a general contentment with life. I don't conciously care about their opinions of me as much and I just focus on the parts of life I can control and trying hard enough to let myself rest easy. Because if I try my best and I don't succeed then there's nothing else I could do.
But after a bad internship at a toxic law firm, some family drama and nonsense about me not being good enough to employed, and alot of worried "kicks in the ass" to get me going I noticed history repeating itself; except this time I was numb to it, but the words still hurt me.
​
Main Problem
I try to steady my emotions and not let myself get out of control because I've done it before and hurt people because of it, and I've BEEN hurt because of it so I don't want to spread that feeling into the world. But I find it really hard to digest my emotions after people hurt my feelings, make me sad, and/or angry. They linger around me for hours or days on end and even with outlets like working out or gaming that energy just looms over me. Even playful banter with friends that take a bit too far still feel too personal and strike a chord that triggers my anxiety even when I know that they're not serious, and comments that family members make that are just not accurate still get under my skin. Comments from strangers are still irritating but they're completely manageable and dont bother me much or at all depending on the day. I'm fine when it comes to getting along with strangers, in fact I find that I'm really charasmatic because I'm willing to listen and I overcompensate for my inner sadness by projecting as much positive energy as possible. But I can't ever summon that for myself.
I still struggle with maintaining a sense of self worth and working through my emotions in a healthy manner, but I don't even know where to begin, how to measure my progress, and how to tell when I've done it.
I'm trying my best to figure it out but I'd appreciate any advice or feedback.
Please help.

Hey there PsychicServices redditors! So, I've recently evolved a lot of my craft and personal skills, and I think I'm finally at the stage where I -kinda- feel confident enough doing work for strangers.
I should note that I don't quite identify as a psychic, but a lot of the work I do is with divination and other aspects common among psychics and those who are looking for psychic readings. I'm choosing to offer my services here, because I'm curious to test out how well my craft works and I could really use some training amongst folks who would be able to give me constructive criticism and perhaps some guidance on which sub may also work well for me to practice in. As per usual with these services, i can't provide medical or health advice and will not answer questions related to those.
So here's what I'm offering as a free service:
A reading with a divination method of your choice, OR 1 spell of your choice that would not constitute the definition of a hex or seek to harm or otherwise influence an individual against their will.
You may type your request as a comment, and I'll DM you once I'm ready to handle your request. This offer will last for 1 week once this post is submitted. I will do my best to handle every request, but keep in mind if I'm getting a lot of requests I may not be able to get to all of them, at least not very quickly. Note for spells: you can request me a simple problem you think could be solved using magick, or you can ask me to perform something from a more specific source (i.e. celtic paganism, Louisiana Voodoo).
And yes, you can really pick from a variety of different methods and spells for me to do. I simply ask to be realistic (i.e. don't ask me to do stuff from closed practices). Some may be more detailed and easier to do than others, but this is my way of practicing and assessing myself. Tarot for example is the easiest for me to work with and give a detailed reading, but I need to train more with runestones, and was tasked to do so. I was born with a natural knack for oneiromancy, but it's the most difficult for me to control at will, and any reading requesting oneiromancy will not happen immediately, but rather when it chooses to appear. Another natural talent has been scrying of all forms. Pretty much any -mancy I'm open to trying. I've also been told mediumship would be a good path for me due to other skills, so if you want to go that route let me know.
You will also get pictures of the results or process unless you tell me not to! :) All I ask is that if you like the reading and/or the results were good and meaningful, just give me a shout out and let others know! :D
-Macha

Hello, I am married to a Filipina. We want to raise our future kids in the Philippines for Dual Citizenship for Philippines and United States.
I am a Filipino-American, and I love the Philippine culture. American culture has gotten toxic and is at such a degraded state currently--nationwide loss of ehtics and morality is the norm right now. The rose tinted glasses of what foreigners see of USA is not true.
We have ALOT of problems--not saying all countries don't, but you would think the most powerful and richest country would be able to tackle simple problems for their citizens but I digress. Sorry for rambling.
I can afford the get my future kids a private education in the USA, but with nature and nurture mindset in regards to raising a child, I refuse to let my kids be exposed to the toxic culture in USA. A healthy/safe household and good private schools are good environments but you can't filter out all of the negative.
As a Catholic, a private Catholic school in the Philippines makes perfect sense (though a Catholic school is not mandatory). I was just wondering, generally, do private schools in the Philippines offer high quality education?
I'm not going to compare to USA or European standards--just want to know if private education in the Philippines will correlate (not absolute terms, of course, just higher chances) success in career undertakings in either the Philippines or USA if the kids decide what they want to do?
I just want my child to have a good education, learn good values, morals, ethics, manners (in school and of course in the house).
Price is not an issue as private education in USA is exponentially more expensive.
I am not a helicopter parent in which I will force my child to follow a certain path, but I will provide my child the best environment I can possibly find--and whatever path he or she chooses, I'm all for it--I just want them to be in a supportive milleu.
Thanks and I'm sorry for rambling. Just putting what's on my mind directly to the post. If the United States culture was that of the 80s and 90s I wouldn't be asking this question, but it is what it is unfortunately.
tl;dr
How good of an education are private school educations in the Philippines? Is it worth it?
ADDENDUM: Sorry for the grammatical mistakes. It is almost 2 am here in Texas.

Hi, I’m Tyler. 41, male, fairly active. I lift just about everyday, that may not impress a lot of you but think of it as dedication shown towards progress.
I enjoy Lord of the Rings, Star Wats stuff, SCI-FI and historical documentaries. I’m interested in ghosts and paranormal but I don’t believe in it; yet.
I’m a NFL fan. I know random sports things but I’m not a master full of knowledge. Also, I’m very fond of combat sports.
If you’d like to check me out and find me out for yourself then hit me up and let’s see if we could be anything in the least friends. Let’s find out.

So finally, after quite a while preparing to go no contact and move out for good, I managed to get my shit together. However I feel saddened by the fact that I'm going to leave my two youngest siblings with three narcissists back. I feel guilty and I wish I could take them with me, however it's not possible. They already know there is something wrong with this toxic "family" and I told them how to deal with them, however I am afraid the once I go on contact, our relationship will suffer.
Involving the local(don't live in the US) version of CPS is useless and even dangerous. I am wondering what can I do to help them and how do I deal with the guilt of leaving them behind.

Welcome new readers. Please start with chapter one https://www.reddit.com/HFY/comments/11ai7iv/last_of_the_defenders_ch_01/
Previously https://www.reddit.com/HFY/comments/11x6c05/last_of_the_defenders_ch_25/
Captain Lavigne, a muscular blonde with hints of gray and a chiseled chin, strode into the command bridge of The Ascending Pride carrying a tablet. Typically, such actions would be carried out by a comms officer. Or even remotely. Even the most sensitive messages could be handled with an encryption key, a thumb print for verification, and the user password. But, so unusual was this message, and so unexpected the source, that the captain felt it would be best to hand-deliver.
Another thin form sat in the center of the command bridge, dark gray haired with heavy bags under his eyes and Captain Lavigne strode towards him.
It was not Ascending Pride's actual bridge. That was where captain Lavigne spent most of his time. This was the fleet command post for all of the fourth fleet. It was the brain of the entire attack force, and as flagship for fleet admiral Turgenev she was the heart where orders pumped and command decisions flowed.
Fleet Admiral Turgenev was unassuming. He sat in his chair, wearing duty issue coveralls and scanning a tablet of his own. Only a cloth patch of an ancient anchor with a starburst denoted him as the admiral as he looked up from what he’d been reading. Most officers would have simply asked Artemis, the shipboard AI, to infodump any relevant information directly. But the admiral was old fashioned, claiming many times that he took pleasure in and retained information better when he had a chance to scan it with his own eyes.
“Captain,” the admiral said quizzically in a deep voice, “I hope this is an unexpected pleasure.”
Captain Lavigne smiled tightly, more of a grimace as he offered the tablet to Fleet Admiral Turgenev. Before Turgenev could flip the tablet on, Lavigne told him “We got a case Alamo, sir.”
“Oh god,” Turgenev groaned, slapping Lavigne’s tablet on his thigh. “Where’d they hit now?”
“That’s where we may have caught a break, sir.” Captain Lavigne gestured to the tablet and Turgenev took it up. It’s an outlying system, one of the early humanitarian efforts. From back when we could still afford that kinda stuff. Doesn’t even have a name, just an old OGLE designation.
Fleet Admiral Turgenev “harrumphed” as he scanned the synopsis. “This report mentions local population suffered extinction level genocide,” he flipped his fingers up, scrolling. “But they survived?”
Captain Lavigne nodded. Yessir. The ooh knock, or something like that. Pre-space iron age, middling grav world. Artemis whispered the relevant information to him and he continued, “Looks like they were hit pretty hard. 99.98% indigenous casualty rate. Severe ecological damage.”
Fleet Admiral Turgenev set Captain Lavigne’s tablet down more gently than before. “And now they’re coming back to finish the job,” he concluded. “What do we have in system?”
“A Blackhawk class reported the gravity footprint,” Captain Lavigne gestured to his tablet as Fleet Admiral Turgenev took up reading again, “They picked up a graph pulse from a reconnaissance force And the AI elected to investigate. When it realized the planet was still inhabited, he started thawing troops per SOP.”
Fleet Admiral Turgenev “harrumphed” again. “There's only one fire team in the whole system?” Turgenev had caught onto the ship’s class. Blackhawks were used solely by Space and Atmospheric INfiltration Teams.
“They also have a Demeter terraforming system on the u’knock homeworld— I mentioned these were early days?—well.The shipboard AI must’ve pulled a fast one on the local OS because they got access to primary cannon’s. They managed to take out a recon force pretty quickly.”
“I don’t care if they’re SAINTs or not; that's no Case Alamo. Its suicide!”
“That is a possibility, sir,” Captain Lavigne admitted. “If you read on, it's not a fire team.
“It's just one soldier,” Fleet Admiral Turgenev’s eyebrows rose in career ending horror as he turned back to the tablet. “A Corporal Li Shou aboard the Stardancer.”
“The lunatic who took out the swarmer flagship over Gashgrah?”
“The one,” Lavigne nodded. “Though she wasn’t completely alone at the start. Her team set down on the ship to plant comm jammers and recon the bug’s defense strength. Things went south, her people died and Corporal Shou came up with a,” he paused, considering his words, “novel solution?”
“Hell of a thing to call blowing up an active gravity pulse engine while inside the same ship,” Turgenev mumbled, scrolling. “Any more mass and the thing could have blackholed itself.”
“The head shrinks tend to agree,” Lavigne admitted quietly. “Oh, the President’s going to slap every medal she can onto Corporal Shou’s chest in public but the plan was to have her polish a seat with her ass planetside until declared psychologically fit enough to jump on the war bond bandwagon.” Lavigne swallowed and straightened as Turgenev turned a disapproving eye towards him. The Fleet Admiral did not approve of profanity on his command bridge. “Sir!”
“Alright,” Fleet Admiral Turgenev said softly, accepting both explanation and unspoken apology, “I won’t ask why she was out there alone but,” of course the admiral already knew. Gashgrah Logistics would have loved to cram her full of refugees, or at least wounded, but the internals of a Blackhawk stealth troop carrier were classified Above Top Secret. “What does Corporal Shou want from us?”
“Support, sir,” Captain Lavigne answered simply. “The Stardancer’s AI, Jung,” he pointed to the tablet, “has laid out a preliminary plan to redeploy the terraforming printers for military use. Apparently the team has done it before, an internal SAINT program registered as Thermopylae.
“By this time, they’ll probably have a couple mass drivers in production. They also requested,” Captain Lavigne bent the truth there. Jung had been unequivocal in his addendum to Shou’s Case Alamo as to what she intended, “to arm the locals.”
Fleet Admiral Turgenev looked up at that, “You said there were 99.98% casualties.”
“Well,” Captain Lavigne rubbed the back of his head, “these u’knock appear to be pretty tough fuzzballs. And,” he continued, “at least as prolific as we are when it comes to mating. Female caste system, predominantly female at least. They were early Iron Age when we left but it looks like there’s been some regression since. They set up shop around one of the Demeter facilities and used the terraforming machines to boot strap their civilization.
Fleet Admiral Turgenev tapped his chin with Lavigne’s pad. Then he remembered himself, placed the pad so it touched his own and hit the copy icon that appeared. “They took out the reconnaissance?” he asked as Captain Lavigne took his own tablet back, folding it up and sliding it into a slim pocket. “Do the bugs know they’re there?
“If they don’t, they will soon,” Captain Lavigne answered. “Stardancer recorded a mass of gravity pulses from a neighboring system, estimates over three hundred and forty.” Turgenev whistled. “It looks like that recon force was sniffing around the U’knock home world to soften up the Demeter.
“Then they’ll be sending a fleet capable of handling mass drivers,” Fleet Admiral Turgenev concluded, “and gravity guns.”
“But will they be sending a fleet capable of handling a two prong attack?” Captain Lavigne countered. “We know the swarmers are willing to take losses to earn a planet. If we hit them while their backs are to the wall, we could crush that entire fleet.” He tapped his pocket where his tablet rested. “That's the preliminary plans AI Jung sketched out.”
The admiral considered. He sat back, putting his elbows on his armrests and steepled his fingers as he thought. At last he said “We can't afford to waste the ships on a world that can't fend for itself.”
“Yes sir,” Captain Lavigne straightened. He didn’t agree. Losing Earth had turned the top brass of the Terran Space Navy onto an increasingly defensive footing. Where once the TSN was lauded as the most daring member of the United Planets races, the species to count on when the chips were down and a mad miracle sought, now it was focused on just holding onto what it had.
It was a losing strategy.
“Relay back to Stardancer her Case Alamo is received,” the fleet admiral ordered.
“And order that woman home.”

This is a long one…Not sure where to start but I (22f) have had a lot of changes in life and I feel like I’ve made all the wrong decisions.
Back in 2019 I met my ex bf who I split with 3 months ago. We had lived together alone with two cats for a while but January last year my now 17yr old sister had to move in with me due to our mother being unstable and her father (they are separated) becoming more abusive to her. It was definitely a change to my lifestyle but it wasn’t too much drama, she just needed a lot of help with her mental health but besides that she is pretty independent. Not long after that, maybe two months, our lease was ending and we decided that we needed a bigger place and didn’t sign a new lease, unfortunately this is when the rental market started getting really bad and we didn’t know so we all ended up having to move in with my ex partners friends place. This was only meant to be temporary but we were almost there a year and over that time it slowly was just not a comfortable space, could tell it was getting really heavy on my ex partners, little sisters and my mental health. There was a few issues with the friend and it was a 25minute drive from most of the things I needed to go to, just slowly clipped away at energy levels. Come around November my other little sister (15) moved in as that same dad started becoming abusive to her now and we also found out he was using crack. This was fine, I was much happier them both with me then with anyone else. However I hate to admit this happening was another weight on me and I was feeling really lost trying to adjust to so many things. Trying to work, trying to deal with my little sisters mental healths, dealing with my own mental health having adhd/bpd/cptsd/autism,looking after them like a parent, dealing with the vibes at the friends house and the guilt of not having enough time for my partner. I didn’t realised at the time but I started to party alot more and drink I guess to escape and I was not doing well mentally. I took this out on my partner as well and neglected his needs and because of stupid fucking TikTok videos I was convinced that I needed to break up with him and live my 20s and that he was bringing my mental health down. So we broke up… unfortunately I wasn’t the one who told him, it was someone else who I confided in who told him. That night it happened I stayed at a friends and the next day my sisters and I started to pack. We are so lucky that my older sister (same dad as me but not same as my younger ones) owns a house and we moved in downstairs. Downstairs use to be a garage, laundry and storage space but has now been half renovated into rooms and has a kitchen and a bathroom. Me and my two sisters all share a big room at the moment and I’m slowly paying for materials to renovate it into more rooms instead of the big one.
Now we’ve got the background of the situation I guess this is kinda where I’m at with how I’m feeling. I thought things would be easier and I would be happier. I don’t have to worry about meeting as many peoples needs, I’m not living so far out, I’m away from that house mate, I have more freedom living here and can express my art more since we can renovate and paint however we want. We now have a duck and a garden bed growing veggies and herbs. But I feel so empty, my days revolve around my sisters, getting up early to make lunch and take them to school (15yr old gets to her school at 8:45 and 17 at 10) then I spend my day cleaning so much shit up, renovating small things (honestly the place doesn’t look the best in a lot of places) trying to work (freelance) constantly shopping for things we are out of or need and then pick them up at 3pm most likely have to drive them places then get started on dinner trying to not cook too late even tho I’m so exhausted. I feel very little joy in life at the moment. My bank is bleeding having two teenage girls living with me only getting $150 a week support at the moment for them. And I’m not upset about paying for them but lately it’s getting even more and more expensive and I haven’t been getting as much work lately so it’s very hard. I’ve been trying to say no to more things lately that aren’t necessities but I also don’t want to make them feel bad for anything. They have a lot of trauma and trying to navigate being a older figure they depend on and not saying anything that could trigger them or make them feel bad…
In the 3 months being split from my partner I’ve realised I do want to be with them as well. Since being out of that toxic house his mental health is doing better, he spends less time napping and hiding in the bedroom, he goes to gym more and has lost 10kg, his eating habits have improved and overall he’s doing a lot better (besides the emotional pain I put him through he’s still pretty hurt) It makes me so happy seeing him like this, it’s what I always wanted for him. We still talked the whole time on and off but a month ago I told him that breaking up was my biggest regret and I thought it’s what I wanted and needed but really I just had so many other things going on and though getting rid of him was the answer.
Since then we have been speaking a lot more and we have hung out out 3/4 times. We are seeing if we can work through things but he is still very unsure and hurt, so for now just continuing to hang out and talk. It seems to be going well.
So now to the title of this post. This isn’t the life I want to be living. I feel like the worst person for saying it but I don’t want to be responsible for my sisters anymore. It’s so hard and I love them but it’s draining everything I have. There is no where else I want them though, I am the safest most secure person in their lives and I’m not going to give up. I thought I could handle it since I’ve always had to look after my sisters (I’m the eldest of 6) growing up but it’s getting too much, especially now I know what life I really wish I was living. Everyday I wake up and do what I have to do but everyday it gets harder and I dread coming home alot.
My dream is to be living alone again with my partner and the two cats I have, I want to work in a shoe shop and have my online art business fully running and just live a calm peaceful life. I wish they were older or any of our parents weren’t so fucked up… feels like a pipe dream and it hurts alot to know this isn’t going to happen or not anytime soon.
I stayed over my ex’s place last night as well and then cried at the beach for 2 hours today over the fact that I have to go home to endless chores and responsibilities and at least once a day hearing “hey can you drive me here” “we are out of this” “can you buy me this” and not be living with my ex. Instead I’m living this life and I just feel so empty and exhausted.