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😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦
2023.03.21 09:08 zagstmuvwp 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦
 | submitted by zagstmuvwp to 1g5z7pd23y [link] [comments] IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMhttps://i.redd.it/9uhikmjkv1pa1.gifI realize a lot of people misunderstood the first story. I was not whoring Sara in the fantasy. It was an awesome truth or dare game. She was a side character. In this story, her and Alex take main stage alongside me. Enjoy or don't, I will keep writing. Jake left about an hour after our games, he had to go to his dads for the weekend, but me and Sara stayed over. I was hoping I could get two for one. I could get Alex's dick and Sara's vagina. I was planning to make this a great night. "Hey man how about we play some xbox for a bit before bed?" Alex asked. I responded that that sounded like a plan and Sara just shrugged. She didn't game much but has no problem with them. We popped in Black Ops and played a few team deathmatches. At around 11, Sara got extremely bored and told Alex we were going to go to bed. Alex winked at me as Sara led me upstairs. I was hoping she'd atleast blow me because otherwise would interrupt my plan. When we got upstairs, Sara told me that she wanted to lose her virginity tonight. "Right now?" I asked. "What about Alex?" I didnt want to leave him out! "Because of the game today I'm going to assume you are bi, so why not involve him? It might be more fun!" I couldn't imagine what she was saying. A threesome where I could still do stuff to Alex. "Great idea! I'll go tell him!" I responded. "Wait!" she shouted. "Let me give you a preview of tonight." She pulled down my pants and gave me a blowjob double as good as the first. I was moaning like hell and I'm gonna guess Alex heard because when I came down he high fived me. "Hey man..Sara wants me to fuck her tonight...but on one condition. I have to have sex with you at the same time." I told him. "A threesome? Fuck dude sounds awesome. Now I won't have to jack off tonight. Do I have to blow you and stuff?" I nodded at his question. "Well that's fine. I think I might be bi now for letting you blow me. Let's do this!" He raced me upstairs. When we got up, Sara was totally naked with her legs spread on Alex's bed. I asked her if we needed condoms and she said she's on the pill so we can cum in her. I looked at alex and he had his 8.5 inch sticking out of his boxers. I felt my 6 inches begging for air too so I stripped Alex while he stripped me. Sara asked if me and Alex could make out for a minute while she got her clit ready. I was a bit nervous at first but then Alex planted his lips on me and we started French kissing. I could feel our tongues dancing and it felt great. When Sara was ready, we both walked over to her and she dropped to her knees. Me and Alex did rock paper scissors to see who would go first. Unfortunately, he won. "Fuck yeah! C'mon Sara!" Alex's cock was at a large 8.5 inches and was as thick as my mouth is wide. How he fit that large cock in his pants was beyond me. Sara started off just giving him a handjob, but soon she put her lips over his manhood and took it in. It felt like I was watching porn. Alex wasn't just getting his cock sucked, he was fucking her mouth as if it was her vagina. I couldn't help but start jacking a little bit. "Shit Sara you are better then my last girlfriend at this!" Alex moaned. I could tell Alex was getting close to blowing a load in her mouth, because he tripled his speed of fucking her mouth. Soon enough, he started moaning like hell and I saw Sara swallow. Alex high fived me and then Sara took my 6 inch cock into her mouth. I may be smaller then Alex but Sara still enjoyed It just as much. Unlike with Alex, she started sucking my balls too, which felt awesome as hell. I couldnt help myself to cum early, as this was so awesome. "Well..now that that's taken care of let's help John lose his virginity!" Alex excitingly stated. He walked over and started making out with me again. I could tell he didn't want to just fuck Sara tonight. I think he read my mind because he whispered to me "Fuck me baby!" during a break in our kissing. I kneeled down in front of Alex and he slipped his manhood into my mouth I was super horny so I kneeled directly below him and he pushed his dick straight down down into my throat. It felt amazing and his dick tasted so good! I could barely breathe with his manhood stretching my mouth! I reached down and started jacking off while blowing him. I love him and Sara at the same time. I don't know what to do. I looked at Sara and she was fingering herself at the sight of me blowing him. After a minute of deepthroating him I felt the familiar feeling and felt his nectar flow down my throat. I continued blowing him until he was soft. Even soft he was still 6 inches! I slipped him out of my mouth and we all took about 5 minutes to recharge ourselves. "Shit man that was awesome." I told Alex. He grinned and gave me a thumbs up. I walked over to Sara and what she told me shocked me. "John, ask Alex if he wants to have a threeway relationship. You love him and me and he loves you and me. It can work." I raced over to Alex and told him and he gave me a hug and said "So now you're my boyfriend. It's what I've wanted ever since I met you!" and then he slapped my ass and we made out again. "John, you're going to lose your straight virginity tomorrow, but how about you and me get acquainted in my room?" he said with an evil grin. I told Sara that she could watch tv but Alex wanted me. "Go get em!" she told me. I raced upstairs to find Alex naked on his bed. I laid down and we made out for like 10 minutes. We exchanged blowjobs and then the real fun began. "Should I get a condom?" I asked him. "Nah I heard it feels better without one to you." he responded. I shrugged and got on top of him. He adjusted me and I slowly dropped onto his cock. It hurt horribly. "Oh god Alex this hurts so bad." I cried. "Just relax, it was like this with all my past girlfriends." I took his advice and just breathed. Soon, the pain went away in exchange for sheer joy. I started going up and down at a very fast rate. "Woah John don't hurt yourself!" "Nah I won't I'm good it feels great!" he slapped my ass a few times and then had me change positions. I stood on all fours and he fucked me doggy style, that felt better. He pushed all of him into me, I could feel my asshole stretching from his thickness. He pushed all the way to his balls in every push. I was moaning like hell and jacking myself off. "Hey John I'm gonna blow soon where do you want it?" "On my face!" I replied. I felt his spasms and immediately turned around on my knees and was greeted by a huge amount of cum on my entire face and neck. I scooped it all up with my finger and licked myself clean! "Tomorrow, you taste vagina and my ass. I'll be with you every step of the way." he told me. We both got tired so Sara came up to bed with us. 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2023.03.21 09:06 zhjpwcirqr 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦
 | submitted by zhjpwcirqr to v2r014vq15 [link] [comments] IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMhttps://i.redd.it/r7e8yn6av1pa1.gifIn an effort to make it easier to get out of bed, I had set my alarm clock to play a random song from a playlist of my favorites instead of an annoying buzzer. Although that makes the process more enjoyable, I'm still not exactly a morning person. Nevertheless, I forced myself out of bed and blindly pulled clothes from my dresser. While I dressed, I consoled myself with the fact that the first day of school is all about learning the rules for the umpteenth time: I wouldn't have any homework. I trudged, zombie-like, to the bathroom, and saw that Nicole was still asleep when I passed her room. For whatever reason, she sleeps like a male college student. Being that this was the first day of school, I had to wake her up. I shook off my drowsiness and took a flying leap onto her bed. "Nicole, it's the first day of school! Aren't you excited?!" "Fuck off!" She replied, attempting to dislodge me from the bed while desperately holding on to the covers. "Not getting rid of me that easily!" I grinned as I threw the covers off of her. "Aaron!" She shrieked. "Don't wanna be late on the first day!" I said in an annoying sing-songy voice. Nicole grumbled a lot, but she got up from her bed and shooed me out of the room so she could dress. I completed my usual morning routine and headed downstairs for breakfast. "Morning!" My mom said cheerfully from the kitchen. I think she, like all of us, wanted to forget the events of the night before and had chosen to move on. "Morning, mom. What's for breakfast?" "Scrambled eggs and bacon." "Awesome." I sat down to eat. Have I mentioned that my mom's a great cook? She is. After Nicole and I finished breakfast, we said goodbye to mom and got in my car. "What are we listening to today, MC Nicky?" I asked Nicole. Fortunately, we have very similar taste in music (despite her being a teenage girl, who usually have the worst taste in music), so we don't often argue about what to listen to. "I'm thinking we roll up bumpin' some gangsta rap, dawg." She said. "F'sho, homie." I handed her my phone to look for music. Nicole plugged the auxiliary cable into my phone and started scrolling through my library of music. I was surprised when some stupid One Direction song started playing. "The fuck?!" I yelped. "I do NOT own that song!" Nicole laughed and put some other music on. When we were only a couple minutes away from school, one of my favorite songs came on: "Gimme the Loot" by the Notorious B.I.G., may he rest in peace. I am proud to know all of the lyrics to this song, so I turned the volume up to disturbing-the-peace levels and lowered all the windows. "My man Inf left a tec and a nine at my crib/ turned his self in he had to do a bid/ a one-to-three, he be home the end of '93/ I'm ready to get this paper G, you with me?" I rapped in time with the music. After that, the lyrics contain a bunch of words that I'm not really supposed to say, but I did anyway. When we drove past the groups of students making their way in, many of them grinned and waved as they recognized us. My antics are pretty well-known at my school, so no one usually takes offense. I parked the car and got out, taking a facetious and very pompous bow toward everyone who heard my grand entrance. I made my way toward my friends and several of them started clapping. As more and more people joined in, I took several more bows, while Nicole did her best to look like she wasn't associated with me. "Another douchey start to the year, eh, Aaron?" Jake remarked. "Is there a better way?" I asked him as I gave Nicole a big hug to remind her that I was her brother and she couldn't escape my embarrassing actions. "Yes, definitely. But you seem incapable of doing anything normally." He quipped. "All of you fuckers love me." I said, pointing to each of my friends in turn. After I enjoyed their exasperated looks for a little while, I said, "Best not be late!" and strode off to homeroom with Jake. We found the room and sat in the back corner. Since we were a few minutes early, I decided to relax for a while; I pulled out my headphones and plugged them in as I put my feet up Jake's desk. We watched the students file in one-by-one. After a couple minutes, Lana walked in. I waved to get her attention and she came over to sit next to Jake and I. "Hey guys." She smiled somewhat nervously. "Hey Lana." I pulled out an earbud to talk to her. "How's it going?" "Alright. It took me forever to find this room. The numbering makes no sense." "Eh, you'll get used to it." Just after I finished speaking, my friend Mitch came over to our corner of the room. "Hey Aaron, you wanna come to this party I'm throwing at the beach on Friday? There's gonna be a bonfire and shit. Should be fun." "Your friends can come, too." He added, giving Lana a pretty conspicuous once-over. She was looking great in short jean shorts and a tank top. "Thanks, Mitch, I'll see if I can come." I gave him a bro-handshake (there really needs to be a better word for that...) and he walked back to his seat. The bell rang and class began. Since my school runs on a block schedule, I prepared to endure an hour-and-a-half of learning when I'm allowed to chew gum, what violates the dress code, and a bunch of other boring rules. Finally, the bell rang and saved me from my boredom. I flew out of the class so I could go to the bathroom. On my way out of the bathroom, a big guy with a bunch of tattoos slammed into me. "Watch it." He snarled. "Watch what?" I asked innocently, trying to diffuse the situation so I could avoid getting into a fight on the first day of school. That's always a bad omen. "... What?" His aggression evaporated and was quickly replaced by confusion. "You said 'watch it', I was wondering what I was supposed to watch. Are you going to perform a magic trick?" "Fuck off." He growled as his aggression quickly returned. "Whatever, dude. I'm just disappointed that you're not going to do a trick." I walked away, shaking my head. I walked to the next class, my mind already on lunch. I saw Ashton walking the same way as me a few feet ahead. After taking a moment to study at her yoga pants-covered posterior, I called out to her above the heads of the people in between us. "Yo, Ash!" She turned and looked around for a moment before seeing me. She smiled and stepped to the side, out of the endless flow of students, to wait for me. "Hey, Aaron. What class are you going to?" "English. Mr. Harrison." I replied as we started walking. "Me too!" She replied. "I guess that means you can cheat off of me this year." I grinned. "I think that would lower my grade." She retorted. I stuck my tongue out at her and smacked her butt. She hit me with her purse and blushed as she looked around to make sure that no one had seen. We walked in to English and sat down. It went pretty much exactly the same as homeroom, so we were very thankful when the bell rang for lunch. I met my friends outside and we began the usual argument over where to eat. Eventually, I got bored and decided for everyone. "Mexican." I declared. "We're getting Mexican food, so everyone shut the hell up. Ok?" Everyone begrudgingly agreed, so we drove to my friend Jorge's family's Mexican restaurant. We sat down, ordered, and got our food. A few minutes later, I finished my burrito, but everyone else was either still eating or full. "You gonna eat that?" I asked Dre. "Mm-- Yeff." He said through a mouthful of his own burrito. "You gonna eat that?" I turned to Ashton. "Ugh. No, I'm soo full..." She groaned. "Thanks." I switched plates with her and started on her remaining tacos. After I finished, we threw some money on the table for a tip and got up to pay. Mrs. Delgado, Jorge's mom, was at the cash register. "Hola, señorita." I gave her my trademark half-smile. "You're looking as beautiful as ever." I always call her "señorita", which basically means "young woman", because Jorge's mom was a total MILF. I'm about 90% sure she was Miss Mexico. I used to always tell Jorge that I had such impure thoughts about his mom, solely for the purpose of irritating him. (If you haven't figured this out by now, I like pushing people.) "Such flattery, mijo." She responded in her soft, lilting accent, waving a hand as if to dismiss the praise. She teasingly calls me "mijo", which means "my son", because I used to hang out with Jorge so much that I was like another son to them. Jorge is in college at Oxford now, though, so I don't see him too often. "How's Jorge?" I asked as I dug out my wallet. "He's good. He is still planning to be a doctor. He just started his second year." "That's great! Please tell him and Mr. Delgado that I said hi." We exchanged kisses on the cheeks, as always. "I will, mijo. Good to see you again." "Good to see you too, señora Delgado." I followed my friends out the door. "Dude, why do you have to flirt with every woman or girl that you meet?" Adam asked me, only half-joking. "I like to grant their wishes of being hit on by an incredibly charming and good-looking stranger." I answered, not really paying attention. I walked over to my car and Ashton hopped in, as she had done on the way over. I started driving back to school. When we reached a red light, however, Ashton siezed me and pulled me in for a kiss. I was surprised, but I rolled with it and got caught up in the kiss until someone honked from behind us, alerting me that the light had changed. I reluctantly broke off the kiss so I could drive as I quoted Albert Einstein. "'Any man who can drive safely and kiss a pretty girl simply isn't giving the kiss the attention it deserves.'" I've been known to spout random quotes and pieces of trivia, but they're not usually quite that relevant to the situation at hand. Ashton sighed. "Fine, I'll ask. How do you know that?" I shrugged. My brain absorbs information very well, especially unimportant information. Since there's no way I can really explain that to my friends, I don't even try to anymore. 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2023.03.21 08:15 ThisMachineKF Vaguely Lefty Sabbath
I will fully admit I am not enough of a metal diehard to know the ins and outs of what exactly we call the crusty black remains from the inside of a meat grinder's core; but I do appreciate the genre. So I don't know if an early (earliest) metal band that predates all sub-genres falls within the genre purvey of this sub-reddit. And radical would definitely be a strong word in political terms.
Buuuut...Black Sabbath will always be my favorite metal band. And while, like I said, not exactly radical, since first discovering the band in middle school, I've always appreciated the sociopolitical themes of many songs. Interesting how a band that was a conscious about face from the 'flower-power' vibe before it so often had a message of peace and love. It's just that this message was contrasted with the cruel realities of hate and violence.
To me that is the core of a leftist ethos, no matter the persuasion. A willingness, an eagerness, to expose the corruption, violence and outright evil of existing power structures. And to fight for changes, whether small tweaks to or the total annihilation of, those structures in order to better the human condition.
As purveyors of gloom and doom, Sabbath didn't exactly hold out great hope for our redemption (spiritual or material). But they did often operate within this dynamic, even if often pessimistic in their outlook.
Some of the over arching themes are war and poverty, the abuses and outright evil of those in power, and the ultimate judgement of that evil. The last one is an interesting one in a modern leftist context. Leftism these days is not usually associated much with religion or religious morality. But while I'm not really religious myself I think it's worth noting that many early American socialists were evangelicals; and much of the Civil Rights was religiously and morally grounded and driven. Sabbath also evokes a religious vibe but from the more metal side of the judgement and damnation of the true evil: war mongers, war profiteers, political and social elites, etc.
In other words, the og moral panic metal band stirred such a vitriolic response from the establishment not because of their dark or demonic imagery. Surely this was no worse than a work like Dante's Inferno, or a fiery sermon on this sins of [name your sex act]. No, the issue was who was being judged, who was being damned to the hellfire. It just can't be my good friend the war monger (you're neighbor, what a guy?). Black Sabbath dared speak of the true evil in today's world (hint: it's actually NOT the homosexuals), and that, of course, was their greatest sin.
Some examples for those who care to look deeper. Listed in chronological order cuz idk.
Song: Wicked World Themes: Poverty, War, Corruption
General track on the ills of the wicked world of today. Treating people's lives as an opportunity cost.
"A politician's job they say is very high, for he has to choose who has to go and die. "
"They can put a man on the moon quite easy, but people here on Earth are dying of old diseases.
Song: War Pigs Themes: War, Corruption, Judgement
I mean, this is the obvious one, the Godfather of them all. Very importantly, from a socialist perspective, they bring the class element of war into clear view.
"Politicians hide themselves away They only started the war Why should they go out to fight? They leave that role to the poor"
"Day of judgement God is calling On their knees the War Pigs crawling Begging mercy for their sins Satan laughing spreads his wings."
Song: Electric Funeral Themes: War
A song about nuclear holocaust and those that would bring it upon us.
"Robot minds of robot slaves Lead them to atomic graves"
"Dying world of radiation Victims of mad frustration"
"Evil souls fall to Hell Ever trapped in burning cells"
Song: Hand of Doom Themes: Social Cost of Waging War
Though it predates the term, it's a song about deaths of despair. Linked most explicitly to despair among working class veterans conscripted into a war, it could easily be generalized to the social costs of capitalism writ large.
"First, it was the bomb Vietnam, napalm Disillusioning You push the needle in"
Song: Fairies Wear Boots Themes: Anti-fascism
Not readily apparent in the lyrics but the band has said the song was a reference to boot wearing neo-Nazis they encountered outside of a club where they played. It was meant to make fun of them.
Song: Children of the Grave Themes: War, Peace, Love, Protest
A song about fighting for peace and love in the shadow of nuclear annihilation. A fight we must win less we become 'children of the grave.'
"Revolution in their minds The children start to march"
"They'll fight the world until they've won And love comes flowing through"
"Must the world live in the shadow Of atomic fear? Can they win the fight for peace Or will they disappear?"
"Show the world that love is still alive You must be brave Or you children of today Are children of the grave"
Song: Lord of This World Themes: Judgement of the greedy
It might be a bit of reach with some head cannon, but this songs definitely for me evokes the image of a greedy self-righteous prick who profits of other's misery but imagines himself innocent because he follows his government/church/whatever. And it of course imagines the eventual judgement of the (in my mind) evil capitalist hiding behind religion/traditionalism.
"But you choose evil ways instead of love You made me master of the world where you exist The soul I took from you was not even missed."
"You think you're innocent, you've nothing to fear You don't know me you say, but isn't it clear? You turn to me in all your wordly greed and pride But will you turn to me when it's your turn to die?"
Song: Into the Void Themes: Utopianism, Peace/Love
This one's a little different. Some of the usual themes are there, the evils of war and environmental destruction plaguing Earth. But also an escapist utopian fantasy of starting a new, better world on a new planet.
"Back on earth the flame of life burns low Everywhere is misery and woe Pollution kills the air, the land and sea"
"Freedom fighters sent out to the sun Escape from brainwashed minds and pollution Leave the earth to all its sin and hate Find another world where freedom waits"
"Make a home where love is there to stay Peace and happiness in every day"
Song: Cornucopia Themes: Commercialism/Capitalism
"Let them have their little toys Matchbox cars and mortgaged joys Exciting in their plastic ways Frozen food in a concrete maze"
"Take a life, it’s going cheap Kill someone, no one will weep Freedom’s yours, just pay your dues We just want your soul to use"
Song: Under the Sun Themes: Free thought, anti-religious indoctrination.
"Well, I don’t want no preacher telling me about the god in the sky No, I don’t want no one to tell me where I’m gonna go when I die"
"People try to rule the nation I just see through their frustration People hiding their real face Keep on running their rat race"
"Don’t let those empty people try and interfere with your mind Just live your life and leave them all behind"
Song: Killing Yourself to Live Themes: Labor Exploitation
"You work your life away and what do they give? You're only killing yourself to live"
"Just take a look around you, what do you see? Pain, suffering, and misery It's not the way that the world was meant It's a pity, you don't understand"
Song: Looking for Today Themes: Commodification of music.
"You’re so new, but rotting in decay Like butterfly, so quick to die"
"Glamour trip so soon to slip Easy come but, oh, how quick it goes"
"Front page news but so abused You just want to hide yourself away Overpaid, but soon you fade Because you’re only looking for today"
Song: Hole in The Sky Themes: Late Capitalist Malaise
"I’ve watched the dogs of war enjoying their feast I’ve seen the western world go down in the east The food of love became the greed of our time And now we’re living on the profits of crime"
...And here we are, still living on the profits of crime (primitive accumulation).
submitted by ThisMachineKF to rabm [link] [comments]
Buuuut...Black Sabbath will always be my favorite metal band. And while, like I said, not exactly radical, since first discovering the band in middle school, I've always appreciated the sociopolitical themes of many songs. Interesting how a band that was a conscious about face from the 'flower-power' vibe before it so often had a message of peace and love. It's just that this message was contrasted with the cruel realities of hate and violence.
To me that is the core of a leftist ethos, no matter the persuasion. A willingness, an eagerness, to expose the corruption, violence and outright evil of existing power structures. And to fight for changes, whether small tweaks to or the total annihilation of, those structures in order to better the human condition.
As purveyors of gloom and doom, Sabbath didn't exactly hold out great hope for our redemption (spiritual or material). But they did often operate within this dynamic, even if often pessimistic in their outlook.
Some of the over arching themes are war and poverty, the abuses and outright evil of those in power, and the ultimate judgement of that evil. The last one is an interesting one in a modern leftist context. Leftism these days is not usually associated much with religion or religious morality. But while I'm not really religious myself I think it's worth noting that many early American socialists were evangelicals; and much of the Civil Rights was religiously and morally grounded and driven. Sabbath also evokes a religious vibe but from the more metal side of the judgement and damnation of the true evil: war mongers, war profiteers, political and social elites, etc.
In other words, the og moral panic metal band stirred such a vitriolic response from the establishment not because of their dark or demonic imagery. Surely this was no worse than a work like Dante's Inferno, or a fiery sermon on this sins of [name your sex act]. No, the issue was who was being judged, who was being damned to the hellfire. It just can't be my good friend the war monger (you're neighbor, what a guy?). Black Sabbath dared speak of the true evil in today's world (hint: it's actually NOT the homosexuals), and that, of course, was their greatest sin.
Some examples for those who care to look deeper. Listed in chronological order cuz idk.
Song: Wicked World Themes: Poverty, War, Corruption
General track on the ills of the wicked world of today. Treating people's lives as an opportunity cost.
"A politician's job they say is very high, for he has to choose who has to go and die. "
"They can put a man on the moon quite easy, but people here on Earth are dying of old diseases.
Song: War Pigs Themes: War, Corruption, Judgement
I mean, this is the obvious one, the Godfather of them all. Very importantly, from a socialist perspective, they bring the class element of war into clear view.
"Politicians hide themselves away They only started the war Why should they go out to fight? They leave that role to the poor"
"Day of judgement God is calling On their knees the War Pigs crawling Begging mercy for their sins Satan laughing spreads his wings."
Song: Electric Funeral Themes: War
A song about nuclear holocaust and those that would bring it upon us.
"Robot minds of robot slaves Lead them to atomic graves"
"Dying world of radiation Victims of mad frustration"
"Evil souls fall to Hell Ever trapped in burning cells"
Song: Hand of Doom Themes: Social Cost of Waging War
Though it predates the term, it's a song about deaths of despair. Linked most explicitly to despair among working class veterans conscripted into a war, it could easily be generalized to the social costs of capitalism writ large.
"First, it was the bomb Vietnam, napalm Disillusioning You push the needle in"
Song: Fairies Wear Boots Themes: Anti-fascism
Not readily apparent in the lyrics but the band has said the song was a reference to boot wearing neo-Nazis they encountered outside of a club where they played. It was meant to make fun of them.
Song: Children of the Grave Themes: War, Peace, Love, Protest
A song about fighting for peace and love in the shadow of nuclear annihilation. A fight we must win less we become 'children of the grave.'
"Revolution in their minds The children start to march"
"They'll fight the world until they've won And love comes flowing through"
"Must the world live in the shadow Of atomic fear? Can they win the fight for peace Or will they disappear?"
"Show the world that love is still alive You must be brave Or you children of today Are children of the grave"
Song: Lord of This World Themes: Judgement of the greedy
It might be a bit of reach with some head cannon, but this songs definitely for me evokes the image of a greedy self-righteous prick who profits of other's misery but imagines himself innocent because he follows his government/church/whatever. And it of course imagines the eventual judgement of the (in my mind) evil capitalist hiding behind religion/traditionalism.
"But you choose evil ways instead of love You made me master of the world where you exist The soul I took from you was not even missed."
"You think you're innocent, you've nothing to fear You don't know me you say, but isn't it clear? You turn to me in all your wordly greed and pride But will you turn to me when it's your turn to die?"
Song: Into the Void Themes: Utopianism, Peace/Love
This one's a little different. Some of the usual themes are there, the evils of war and environmental destruction plaguing Earth. But also an escapist utopian fantasy of starting a new, better world on a new planet.
"Back on earth the flame of life burns low Everywhere is misery and woe Pollution kills the air, the land and sea"
"Freedom fighters sent out to the sun Escape from brainwashed minds and pollution Leave the earth to all its sin and hate Find another world where freedom waits"
"Make a home where love is there to stay Peace and happiness in every day"
Song: Cornucopia Themes: Commercialism/Capitalism
"Let them have their little toys Matchbox cars and mortgaged joys Exciting in their plastic ways Frozen food in a concrete maze"
"Take a life, it’s going cheap Kill someone, no one will weep Freedom’s yours, just pay your dues We just want your soul to use"
Song: Under the Sun Themes: Free thought, anti-religious indoctrination.
"Well, I don’t want no preacher telling me about the god in the sky No, I don’t want no one to tell me where I’m gonna go when I die"
"People try to rule the nation I just see through their frustration People hiding their real face Keep on running their rat race"
"Don’t let those empty people try and interfere with your mind Just live your life and leave them all behind"
Song: Killing Yourself to Live Themes: Labor Exploitation
"You work your life away and what do they give? You're only killing yourself to live"
"Just take a look around you, what do you see? Pain, suffering, and misery It's not the way that the world was meant It's a pity, you don't understand"
Song: Looking for Today Themes: Commodification of music.
"You’re so new, but rotting in decay Like butterfly, so quick to die"
"Glamour trip so soon to slip Easy come but, oh, how quick it goes"
"Front page news but so abused You just want to hide yourself away Overpaid, but soon you fade Because you’re only looking for today"
Song: Hole in The Sky Themes: Late Capitalist Malaise
"I’ve watched the dogs of war enjoying their feast I’ve seen the western world go down in the east The food of love became the greed of our time And now we’re living on the profits of crime"
...And here we are, still living on the profits of crime (primitive accumulation).
2023.03.21 08:06 ocygduetayc gay and ciha funeral home gay animations gay asian gay asian twitter gay audioporn gay authors gay ballbusting gay balloon gay bar shooting gay bar shooting suspect gay bara manga gay bars austin gay bars columbus ohio gay bars fort lauderdale gay bars in boston gay bars in houston gay bars new yor
 | submitted by ocygduetayc to tujfbjkffcc1 [link] [comments] |
2023.03.21 07:37 Jrubas The Wolf and the Warrior: Pt 1
Griger Kel-Am watched from his cell in the old town jailhouse as workers busily erected a scaffolding in the courtyard below. It was shaping up nicely, he thought with an appreciative nod; the skeletal beams reminded him of the bones of dead animals in the Karel Desert and that comparison almost disturbed him.
Which was no easy feat. Griger had seen the worst the world had to offer. He fought beasts in the Staygin Mountains, fended off feral bandits in the Jarel Plains, and weathered more attacks, fights, battles, and death than most people even knew existed. Nothing on earth could rattle him. He couldn’t afford to let himself be shaken. Life, he had learned, was like a surging storm tide. You either stand strong against it, or you get knocked down and swept away. Griger refused to be swept away. He refused to wind up like the old bones he stumbled across on the North Road and in the snowy stepps at the top of the world. A man must be hard and stoic to survive, and he must be harder and colder to thrive.
Despite his grizzled face, many scars, dead eyes, and unseemly facial hair, Griger, a sword for hire since before the Great Plague, had always thrived.
Sighing, Griger left the window and walked over to the door; three brisk paces. He threaded his arms through the bars and tried his best to look up the corridor. In the cells across from him, other men, their faces dirty and white, cowered, waiting for their judgement.
Their open fear disgusted Griger.
Cowards.
Griger wasn’t afraid to die. Dying was easy; you closed your eyes and went to sleep. Living...living was hard, every day a knock down, drag out fight for dominance against something. Outlaws, nature, your own inner darkness. He did not seek death, but he welcomed it. The prospect of a noose tightening around his neck, of his body jerking and dancing before many jeering eyes and spitting mouths, however, almost bothered him.
But as a wise old man he once knew had said, This too shall pass.
A sardonic smile touched Griger’s chapped lips and he shook his head like a man who couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Of all the things he’d done in his life to deserve a hanging, self-defense is what did him in. Ha.
Two weeks ago, he was following the river from the North, on foot and alone save for his sword and his rucksack. He stopped at a tide pool to drink, and was beset by a man with a knife. In his frock coat and rubberized boots, he was too well dressed to be a highwayman; he never spoke a word until he lay in the grass, his throat laid open and gushing rich red blood. “Scoundrel,” he gurgled.
Griger relieved him of his boots and pocketbook and carried on. Before dusk, he came across the village and rented a room at the inn. Women in cheap, homespun dresses haunted the halls, knocking at doors to sell their company, and Griger, lying in bed by the flickering light of a lamp, was considering spending the rest of the money on one when three constables broke down the door.
The man he killed, they told him later, was the son of the mayor. At that moment, Griger knew he was in trouble.
They refused to believe that the son attacked first and pointed to the things Griger had taken from his as proof of overland piracy, theft, and murder. He was tried in a packed courtroom and found guilty, standing tall and proud but alone as no lawyer in the land would take his case.
Out in the courtyard, someone shouted, and a team of horses neighed, Griger, sitting on the edge of his cot, looked up at the window. The light was getting weaker as night approached. Shadows, long and black, fell through the slats and made unwholesome shapes across the earthen floor. Down the hall, a man cried out for water, and elsewhere, someone raked a metal cup back and forth across the bars. Would they hang him tonight, Griger wondered, or would they wait for dawn?
“You,” someone spat.
Griger looked up to find the mayor standing at the bars, his bloated face filled with hatred. Another man was with him, this one taller and thinner. They were both clad in the finest garments, but the stranger was undoubtedly better suited. Griger took him for a government official.
“What do you want?” Griger asked, an edge in his voice.
The mayor opened his mouth to speak, but the stranger silenced him. “My name is Urick Farbin. I’m the governor of Ezk Province and I have a proposition for you.”
“What’s that?”
Farbin flashed a tight smile.
It looked to Griger like he wouldn’t be hanged at all.
And that made him smile.
***
Griger watched the countryside pass slowly by, all green hills, trickling brooks, and dense thickets. The occasional straw hut loomed out of the wilderness like an antsy thief, and six miles out of the village, they passed a stately manor house that could only have belonged to the mayor.
It was mid-afternoon and the overcast day wrapped itself around Griger like a wet blanket. The previous night, Governor Farbin sprang Griger from his cell and brought him to the inn, where he was kept under armed guard. Griger spent most of the evening in a straight back chair and whittling. You don’t have to worry, he said to the sentry standing at the door, I’m not going anywhere.
And he wasn’t. He was not an honor bound man by any stretch, but Farbin saved his life, and Griger reckoned that earned him a little loyalty.
The guards didn’t stand down, but Griger didn’t blame them. He wouldn’t have either.
In the morning, they set off in a horse drawn carriage, heading northwest along the Western Road. Now, hours later, Griger sat next to the Governor, who wore a dark cloak and wide-brimmed hat befitting his office. Beside him, the driver held the reins and stared ahead with the practiced indifference of a man used to tuning out things he wasn’t supposed to hear.
“Will you explain to me what I’m doing?” Griger asked.
Farbin was quiet for a moment, then he looked up at the sky, the muted light bathing his craggy features. “Your file says that you’ve done work for the Government.”
“Some,” Griger replied.
“You’ve handled things of a singular nature,” the old man continued. “Things that most other men have never dreamed possible.”
Gringer nodded. He had. His only oath was to himself, and he worked for whoever paid him the highest sum. Men like him were called mercenaries but he preferred to think of himself as a businessman.
“There’s a matter in a nearby village that has been ongoing for quite some time,” Farbin said, picking his words carefully. “I have sent my best agents and they’ve done nothing for it. When the paperwork on you came to my office, I checked your name, as I do all condemned men, and knew at once that you were the man for this job.”
Griger was almost touched. “What’s the job?”
The Governor turned to face Griger, his expression bloodless and sober, as though he had something great yet terrible to impart upon him. “Do you believe in werewolves?”
“Yes,” he said, “I do.”
“Have you ever killed one?”
Griger hesitated. “No,” he said, “not personally, but I was with a party that did.”
Five years before, Griger wintered in a village among the steep foothills guarding the forbidding expanse of Mount Grez. In the deepest, darkest days of the freeze, local livestock began to die, ripped asunder and strewn across snowy fields like trash. Wolf tracks larger than any Griger had ever seen led to and from each scene, and at night, high, ghostly howls rose above the shrieking wind, curdling the blood of even the most sturdy men.
After a watchman on patrol was attacked and gutted in the main square, the men of the village banded together and tracked the beast, eventually cornering it in a cave near a frozen river. Even if he lived to be a thousand, Griger would never forget the monster they encountered. Seven feet tall, coated in matted gray fur, its face canine yet human, its eyes blazed with the fires of hell, and as the men approached, it snapped and snarled, the sounds it made so close to words that even now, Griger wondered if it were trying to speak. They beset it with swords and torches, and when the dust settled, five men were dead and three were wounded. The wolf lay crumpled on the ground, decapitated and aflame. Even with no head, even with its heart divorced from its body, it screeched as the fire consumed it, a high, hitching wail that haunted Griger’s dreams for many moons after.
Farbin nodded. “I figured as much. A man as well-travelled as you has to have seen such things.”
He went on to explain that a suspected werewolf was loose in the countryside around the village of Koreth, a tiny fishing port on the sloped and muddy banks of the Rey River. Three weeks before, sheep and horses began to turn up dead, their bodies laid open and their intestines pulled from their stomachs. Before long, travellers along the Western Road started to die in a similar manner. Every time a new victim appeared, officials found large wolf tracks and strands of fur nearby.
Several nights ago, it broke into the home of a land baron and killed him, his wife, and his daughter. His young son survived, but was blinded in one eye.
‘It was a massive beast,’ the boy told the Governor, a personal friend of the baron. ‘It stood seven feet tall, was as wide as it was long, and had the snarling face of a man mixed with a dog.’
“You want me to kill it,” Griger said. It was not a question.
“Yes.”
The carriage jostled as its big wheels splashed through ruts and puddles. “And in return…?”
“You’ll get a full and unconditional pardon.”
Hmm. Griger considered the offer carefully, even though he was in no position to bargain. “Alright,” he said at last, “I’ll do it.”
They arrived at the village three hours later. Perched on the banks of the lazy river, it seemed a single estate rather than a town. A stone wall, roughly a dozen feet high, enclosed it, pitched roofs visible beyond. Two guards in helmets and chainmail, swords on their hips and crossbows in their hands, stood at the gate, their expressions stony and as hardscrabble as the fields sloping away from the walls.
Inside, tiny buildings lined narrow dirt streets and people in plain, homespun clothes went about their business, pushing carts, hawking vegetables, and playing dice. Old men sat in canned chairs before the town pub and a group of boys chased each other back and forth through shadowed warrens, their faces smudged and weatherbeaten beyond their years. Chickens and pigs, both plump and hale, ran free, the former flapping their impotent wings and the latter snorting happily as they wallowed and shat. Griger spotted a blacksmith in his quarters, striking an anvil with a hammer, and wondered idly if he had any interesting items for sale.
“The people here are stubborn and refuse to flee,” Farbin said.
Griger faced forward. “These types usually are.”
“You are not to worry about their safety,” Farbin warned. “They can see to themselves. Your only concern is to be the wolf.”
“Understood.”
The driver parked near the town inn and tied the horse to a hitching post while Griger and Farbin got out. Griger rolled his neck and flexed his shoulders. After so many years of walking wherever he went, he was unaccustomed to sitting for long periods and inevitably ended any long, stationary trek sore.
Past the batwing doors, a shadowy lobby lit by candlelight greeted them. Farbin led Griger directly up the stairs and to a tidy room with a single, neatly made bed and a desk beneath the window. “These are your quarters,” Farbin said.
“Spacious,” Griger said unsarcastically. He sat on the edge of the bed. “What leads do you have on this wolf?”
“None beyond what I’ve told you,” Farbn said. “My men have scoured the countryside but they haven’t found a thing.”
Griger hummed. “No tracks? Droppings? Nothing at all?”
“Not beyond what I’ve told you.”
That was odd. Werewolves rarely strayed far from their den. Unless they were of the rare half-breed that turned upon the cycle of the moon, man at day and beast by night. But those were as common as an honest man in the High Council - not very damned common at all.
“What are you thinking?” Farbin asked.
Griger said what was on his mind.
“But those aren’t real,” the Governor said, a hint of confusion in his voice.
“I tell you they are.”
Farbin’s brow furrowed with incredulity. “A man cannot simply change his form, nor can a wolf, for that matter. It goes against all logic.”
All Griger could do was spread his hands. That a man - even a large one - could transform into a werewolf (and that a werewolf could shrink back to the size of a mere man) did defy logic. Griger could not account for it, but he knew it to be so, and he said as much. Farbin, shaken by the confidence in Griger’s tone, nervously scratched the back of his neck and looked constipated. “Put aside what you think you know and ask yourself. What if it is a wolf-man?”
“But what if it isn’t?” Farbin countered.
Griger ticked his head to the side in acquiescence. “Maybe it’s not. Maybe your men have failed to uncover a den large enough to house a seven foot tall monster. Maybe they’ve been looking up each other’s backsides instead of where they should be.”
A dark shadow flickered across Farbin’s face. “My men are highly trained and highly skilled.”
“That’s why you came to me.”
Farbin fumed. “I came to you because you have experience in such things.”
“Right,” Griger said. “I do. And I’m telling you - in my expert opinion - that if there is no den, the wolf is a changeling. I cannot explain the science behind how and why it is a changeling. I don’t know how it can happen...but it does. You have to consider the possibility that you are looking for a phantom, that your wolf may be out there right this second ploughing a field or herding sheep and not asleep in a cave waiting to be found and made.”
Farbin turned away and put his hands on his hips. No shoulder had ever been colder, and for a second, Griger thought the old man was going to send him back to the gallows. “Alright,” Farbin finally said, “suppose it is a half-breed. What then?”
“I want to see where the latest attack happened.”
A half an hour later, Griger and Farbin stood before a large stone house with a slate roof and wide windows. A dirt drive looped around an ornate fountain and tall trees rustled in the new breeze. Several Provincial Guardsmen accompanied them, all with swords and crossbows and one, the commander, with a rare flintlock on his hip. Farbin led Gringer to the west side of the structure. “The wolf came in through the servants’ entrance,” he explained. A set of paw prints led to the door and Gringer knelt to study them. Roughly half a foot apart, they were slightly larger than any other he had seen.
Inside, the house was dark and cold, shadows clustered in corners like demons waiting for the fall of night to advance their ghoulish aims. Dried blood stained the wooden floors and spackled the bare walls. “Has anyone seen this creature and lived but the boy?”
Farbin shook his head. “No.” His face was white and strained, the somber, funeral atmosphere affecting him.
“You’ve told me everything?”
“Yes.”
Griger nodded to himself. If the wolf were a changeling, someone, somewhere likely would have seen it coming or going. That was a strike against his theory. On the other hand, there were likely dozens of isolated farms and homesteads scattered through the surrounding countryside. The wolf could be anyone from anywhere.
“I want to talk to the locals,” Griger said as he and Farbin walked back to the carriage.
“Right.”
“I’ll also need a team of men at my disposal,” Griger said. “And a sword.”
They were sitting across from each other in the carriage’s enclosed cab. Without, the sky was beginning to cool to purple and evening gloom stealthy crept from the forest. “We’ll get you one.”
“It must be made with silver,” Griger said.
Farbin frowned. “Silver is a poor alloy for sword-making.”
“But it’s the only alloy for werewolf killing,” Griger said. “It shouldn’t be made entirely of silver, but there must be some in it, the more, the better.
Farbin nodded that he understood.
By the time they made it back to the village, full dark had fallen. The streets stood deserted, the animals locked up for the night and most of the people hunkered in their homes. A few guards walked the lanes and dooyards, bows and swords at the ready, and a stray cat with no tail slunk furtively between piles of refuse, its ears laid flat against its skull and its fur matted and crisscrossed with scars from battles past.
The only activity was at the pub attached to the inn, where lights burned in the segmented windows and the chatter of many voices drifted into the street, occasionally flaring in laughter or song. Apparently, those hearty souls refused to let a wolf stand between them and their end-of-day festivities.
Griger’s respect for them increased.
Before entering, Farbin and Griger called on the blacksmith, a burly man with a bald head and a mustache that reminded Griger of walruses he had killed and eaten at the top of the world. Griger explained his need and impressed upon the man a sense of urgency. “I need it as soon as you can possibly have it ready.”
The blacksmith nodded gamely. “I’ll have it by dawn.”
Farbin took out his purse and paid, then they made their way to the inn.
Inside, a roaring fire crackled in the stone hearth and lamps on the walls sent shadows flickering across the floor. A dozen men sat at the bar with stines of beer and a half dozen more occupied the many tables in the middle of the room. A barkeep kept the drinks flowing while a pretty waitress with her blonde hair done up in an elaborate braid like a golden tiara brought trays of beer and pretzels to the tables.
Griger and Farbin sat at an empty table near the fireplace and Farbin removed his gloves. “Men will make merry even while the world burns around them,” he mused.
“Why not,” Griger said, “they can’t do it in the grave.”
The women came over and they ordered a pitcher of beer and a sandwich each. While they waited, Griger went to every man one-by-one and asked them about the wolf. They responded, to a man, with an eye roll or a dismissive laugh. None were worried in the slightest. One man lifted his brow in a pitying sort of way and looked Griger up and down as though he were mad. “Werewolves? Why, those were banished from the Realm centuries ago, it’s all much ado about nothing.”
“It’s a big wolf,” the barkeep said, “and dangerous too, that much is fact. But it’s a lot of hysteria. People today are too goddamn soft. In my time, we had wolves and bears too. If they acted out of line, we hunted them down and cut their heads off.”
The last man Griger came to was a wispy, white-haired oldster with rheumy eyes and three days’ worth of stubble covering his angular chin. Baggy brown clothes, old and wrinkled and caked in the dirt of the field, hung slack from his scrawny frame, and his long, spindly fingers threaded through the handle of his mug like fleshless bone. If Griger had ever seen a man who bore the official title “Town Drunk” he wouldn’t look the part any more than the old man.
Before Griger could ask him a single question, he spoke in a rusty voice that conjured images of graveyard gates in the dark Province of Helem. “I seen it,” he said, “and it weren’t no regular wolf neither.”
The barkeep sniffed. “You see lots of things, Sel. Like them little pink elephants.”
A wave of mean-spirited laughter ran through the bar, and Sel’s jaw clenched. Griger sensed that Sel was often made sport of at the bar.
Ignoring the other, Griger asked, “You’ve seen it?”
Sel nodded and held up three fingers. “Thrice, in fact,” he said with a belch.
“Tell me.”
The old timer looked up at him with a twist of suspicion. “Down by the road leadin’ up,” he said.
“All three times?”
“All three times,” Sel confirmed.
Once a mason, Sel had moved to the village ten years before to try his hand at farming, he explained. His homestead, comprising five acres, a tumbledown barn, and a decomposing shack masquerading as a house, sat below the walls, in a hollow between the hill and the river. Many nights, he sat on the front porch and “communed with the King” (King Rum, Griger assumed). From that perch, he witnessed “The damned beast” loping toward town. “The first time, I seen’t it over in the road,” he said, pronouncing road as rud. “I have good eyesight and I knew right off it weren’t normal, so I jumped outta my chair and ducked down real low so ways he couldn’t see me.”
Sel couldn’t provide a description of the wolf beyond “near eight damn feet tall and built like a mountain” but Griger didn’t need one. The old man’s story supported his supposition that the wolf was coming from somewhere else and not a den in the hills. Why would it come down the middle of the road each time? The only thing to the south was the river and open fields dotted by stands of forest, all of which Farbin’s men had already searched.
Werewolves are nocturnal creatures who sequester themselves somewhere dark and dry during the day. Farbin’s men should have found it by now. That they hadn’t suggested that it was a changeling.
Thanking Sel for his help, Griger went back to the table and sat across from Farbin. “The baron’s house lies in the direction of the river,” he said, more to himself than to the Governor. “What of the other attacks?”
“Mainly in that area,” Farbin said, “why?”
“The changeling - and that’s what it is - comes from across the river. How many homesteads are there beyond the banks?”
“At least two dozen,” Farbin said.
Griger crossed his arms and thought for a moment. “I want your men, tomorrow, out there going door to door with garlic. Make everyone they come across smell it and anyone who sneezes is put under watch.”
The Governor looked stricken. “But...why?”
“Changelings are allergic to garlic,” Griger said.
Farbin pursed his lips in contemplation. “Alright,” he said, “I’ll have them start at first light.”
After dining, they adjourned to their rooms, Farbin on one side of the hall and Griger on the other. A team of six Guardsmen took up position in the empty saloon and kept watch, ready to roll out at a moment’s notice. Griger threw the window open and perched on the ledge, the night breeze washing over him and rustling his graying hair. He rolled a cigarette, lit it with the bedside candle, and looked up at the glowing face of the waxing moon. Tomorrow night it would be full and the changeling would be compelled to turn and hunt as the tide was compelled to crest. It could come tonight still, but unless it was killed, it would return tomorrow for certain, mad with bloodlust.
Well past midnight, Griger blew out the candle and retired. The mattress was far too soft and it took him nearly a half hour of tossing, turning, and muttering curses to himself to find a position he liked. Once he did, he fell into a light sleep from which he was aroused near dawn by a knock at the door. One of the guards informed him that the blacksmith was finished with his sword, and after dressing, he and Farbin went to collect it. Comprising a simple blade with a guard and a grip, it was far from the most opulent weapon Griger had ever wielded, but it was well-suited to his needs and fit comfortably in his hand.
Back at the inn, Farbin gathered every available man under his command, including the constable and his three deputies, and ordered them to sweep the countryside as Griger had suggested the night before. They showed no reaction despite their lord’s strange request, and departed in a single file line.
The saloon opened for breakfast at six and Griger and Farbin each had a plate of eggs, bacon, and beans. People began to drift in as they ate, Sel the Drunkard at the head of the pack. The maiden, who quartered somewhere upstairs, came down in a simple white dress beneath a waist apron, and Griger’s eyes tracked her as she carried out her functions. The dress - loose and high cut - revealed nothing of her bosom, but pulled tight across her bottom when she leaned over to set food and coffee in front of her guests. Their gazes met, and her eyes flicked quickly away like two timid minnows in a fish bowl.
She was beautiful.
She reminded him of someone.
His mind went back to the jagged mountains atop the world, to a little cabin where weary travellers waited out the snowstorms that raged sometimes for weeks in the winter. There, in one of the most isolated outposts of the Realm, lived a woman Griger had known. She was tall and gaunt whereas the barmaid was average and healthy, her hair was black to the maiden’s blonde, but their eyes were the same breathtaking hazel. Now, staring at his plate, his chest stirred in a way that it hadn’t in years.
He didn’t like it.
“...else,” Farbin was saying.
“Yeah,” Griger said, as though he knew what Farbin had said. Now, the woman he loved one winter was on his mind and his mood was verging on foul. He recalled the way her hair brushed the creamy slope of her throat when she turned her head, the sound of her laughter, how her heels dug into his behind, urging him deeper unto her.
He was young, then, and a fool. People, he learned later, come and people go. Loving someone...indeed even hating them...was pointless, for in a breath of summer wind, they’re gone.
After finishing with breakfast, Farbin requested a metal tub be filled with water so that he could bathe. While he did that, Griger threaded his sword through his belt and walked down to the river, keeping his eyes open for wolf tracks. He spotted a few in the dirt edging the road, all pointing in the direction from which he had just come, and squatted down to examine one more closely.
Just before reaching the water, Sel’s farm appeared on the right, the main house seeming to sag in the middle as though under the burden of years and the field out back overgrown and gone to seed. The place looked as though it had died, come back to life, then died again. The screen door, which naturally hung askew, banged open, and Sel himself backed out butt first, a ceramic pot in his hands. He turned, saw Griger, and hesitated, then ducked his head and scurried down the stairs, disappearing around the side of the house Griger lingered a moment, then followed, tangles of grass pulling at his boots. In the back, a clear patch boasted several pots like the one Sel had come out with, each blossoming with an assortment of multicolored flowers. Sel knelt before one and heaped rich soil in with his hands. A gust of wind flipped his lank, white hair back and forth, and a satisfied smile played at the corners of his thin mouth.
“You garden?” Griger asked.
Sel shot him a dirty look. “I do,” he said, a defensive edge in his voice. He stopped, favored the flowers with a sober look, and added, “These plants are the only friends I’ve got.” He chuckled self-consciously.
“Plants seem like they’d make poor friends,” Griger said. “When the first frost comes, they leave you.”
Sel ticked his head to one side in acquiescence. “Tis better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all.”
An image of the girl at the top of the world flashed across Griger’s mind, and for a moment he could feel, feel, her presence. “I don’t believe that,” Griger said. “Loss is hard for a man who’s known love.”
“Still better than never knowing it at all,” Sel said and got stiffly to his feet. He dusted his hands on his pants.
“You’ve never lost someone,” Griger said.
“You’ve never loved someone,” Sel countered.
Griger stiffened. Mouthy old bastard, yes I have.
“What do you want?” Sel asked.
“I wanted to ask you about the werewolf.”
Sel’s face crinkled. “I told you everything I know.” He started walking back to the front of the house, and Griger fell in beside him.
“Is there anywhere around here you think a werewolf might live?” Griger asked. “Caves? Dens? Anything.”
“There’s some caves about,” Sel said, “other than that, I can’t say.”
They were on the porch now, Sel holding the door open.
“Can you tell me your story one more time?” Griger asked. “Maybe it might jog something you forgot.”
Sel sighed. “I don’t have nothin’, okay?”
He started to go inside, but Griger stopped him. “Please?”
The old man looked at him, then sighed. “Fine. Come in.”
They sat in Sel’s tiny and cluttered parlor. The furniture was as old and threadbare as the man who owned it, and the simple walls were crowded with old photos, many of them featuring a smiling woman with dark hair. She looked nothing like the girl at the top of the world, but Griger was reminded of her anyway. “Your wife?” he asked.
Sel, seated in an armchair across from him, busied himself pouring Griger a cup of tea. “Yes,” he said shortly.
From his tone - and the woman’s absence - Griger inferred that she was dead. “I’m sorry.”
Sel’s hand shook as he pushed the cup across the table. “So am I,” he said.
“Children?” Griger asked.
“Three,” Sel said. “Two boys and a girl.” Tears crept into the old man’s faded eyes and he fixed his gaze on a point over Griger’s shoulder. Open displays of emotion made Griger uncomfortable, and he shifted in his seat, sorry that he had brought the topic up. “We were married thirty years,” Sel said. His lips trembled and Griger thought he was going to break down crying. Instead, he smiled. “Those were good years.”
Griger nodded to himself. “I bet.”
He must not have sounded convincing, because Sel creased his brow. “Are you married?”
“No.”
“Ever loved someone?”
“No.”
Sel looked at him with a frank directness that bordered on mind-reading, and though it wasn’t possible, Griger could almost imagine the old man was seeing into his mind...and his heart. “You’re a liar.”
Griger considered his reply for a long time. “When I was a boy,” he said. “I thought I was in love.”
“What happened?”
Perhaps the old man had cast some kind of pall over him...or maybe he was in a rare mood...but Griger heard himself answer honestly. “I left her.”
A heavy silence lay between them.
“You left her?”
Griger nodded. “I moved on. She had her ways and I had mine. I didn’t see us working.”
“You regret it.”
“Yes,” Griger responded instantly. “I wish I tried.”
Sel nodded understandingly. “All boys make mistakes. Some are just luckier than others, I reckon.” He laughed, his posture relaxing, and Griger realized he was starting to like the old bastard.
“True,” he said. “Now your story…”
Sighing, Sel lifted a hand. “I don’t have much ways else to say.” He ran through his story just as he had before, with no additions or subtractions.
Griger nodded that he was satisfied, and got to his feet. “That’ll be all.”
Sel walked him to the door and stuck out his hand. “That damned thing’s a monster,” he said as they shook, “you watch yourself.”
“I can handle a werewolf,” Griger assured him.
Later on, after returning to the inn, Griger and Farbin rode out to meet the men on the other side of the river, catching up to them at a fork in the road. “No one’s sneezed or broken out, sire,” Farbin’s second-in-command, a tall, rodent-faced man, reported.
“Expand the dragnet,” Griger said.
Rat-face looked at Farbin for confirmation, and the Governor nodded.
They would find the wolf...or the wolf would find them.
Griger wanted the former, but would settle for the latter.
If he had to.
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Griger Kel-Am watched from his cell in the old town jailhouse as workers busily erected a scaffolding in the courtyard below. It was shaping up nicely, he thought with an appreciative nod; the skeletal beams reminded him of the bones of dead animals in the Karel Desert and that comparison almost disturbed him.
Which was no easy feat. Griger had seen the worst the world had to offer. He fought beasts in the Staygin Mountains, fended off feral bandits in the Jarel Plains, and weathered more attacks, fights, battles, and death than most people even knew existed. Nothing on earth could rattle him. He couldn’t afford to let himself be shaken. Life, he had learned, was like a surging storm tide. You either stand strong against it, or you get knocked down and swept away. Griger refused to be swept away. He refused to wind up like the old bones he stumbled across on the North Road and in the snowy stepps at the top of the world. A man must be hard and stoic to survive, and he must be harder and colder to thrive.
Despite his grizzled face, many scars, dead eyes, and unseemly facial hair, Griger, a sword for hire since before the Great Plague, had always thrived.
Sighing, Griger left the window and walked over to the door; three brisk paces. He threaded his arms through the bars and tried his best to look up the corridor. In the cells across from him, other men, their faces dirty and white, cowered, waiting for their judgement.
Their open fear disgusted Griger.
Cowards.
Griger wasn’t afraid to die. Dying was easy; you closed your eyes and went to sleep. Living...living was hard, every day a knock down, drag out fight for dominance against something. Outlaws, nature, your own inner darkness. He did not seek death, but he welcomed it. The prospect of a noose tightening around his neck, of his body jerking and dancing before many jeering eyes and spitting mouths, however, almost bothered him.
But as a wise old man he once knew had said, This too shall pass.
A sardonic smile touched Griger’s chapped lips and he shook his head like a man who couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Of all the things he’d done in his life to deserve a hanging, self-defense is what did him in. Ha.
Two weeks ago, he was following the river from the North, on foot and alone save for his sword and his rucksack. He stopped at a tide pool to drink, and was beset by a man with a knife. In his frock coat and rubberized boots, he was too well dressed to be a highwayman; he never spoke a word until he lay in the grass, his throat laid open and gushing rich red blood. “Scoundrel,” he gurgled.
Griger relieved him of his boots and pocketbook and carried on. Before dusk, he came across the village and rented a room at the inn. Women in cheap, homespun dresses haunted the halls, knocking at doors to sell their company, and Griger, lying in bed by the flickering light of a lamp, was considering spending the rest of the money on one when three constables broke down the door.
The man he killed, they told him later, was the son of the mayor. At that moment, Griger knew he was in trouble.
They refused to believe that the son attacked first and pointed to the things Griger had taken from his as proof of overland piracy, theft, and murder. He was tried in a packed courtroom and found guilty, standing tall and proud but alone as no lawyer in the land would take his case.
Out in the courtyard, someone shouted, and a team of horses neighed, Griger, sitting on the edge of his cot, looked up at the window. The light was getting weaker as night approached. Shadows, long and black, fell through the slats and made unwholesome shapes across the earthen floor. Down the hall, a man cried out for water, and elsewhere, someone raked a metal cup back and forth across the bars. Would they hang him tonight, Griger wondered, or would they wait for dawn?
“You,” someone spat.
Griger looked up to find the mayor standing at the bars, his bloated face filled with hatred. Another man was with him, this one taller and thinner. They were both clad in the finest garments, but the stranger was undoubtedly better suited. Griger took him for a government official.
“What do you want?” Griger asked, an edge in his voice.
The mayor opened his mouth to speak, but the stranger silenced him. “My name is Urick Farbin. I’m the governor of Ezk Province and I have a proposition for you.”
“What’s that?”
Farbin flashed a tight smile.
It looked to Griger like he wouldn’t be hanged at all.
And that made him smile.
***
Griger watched the countryside pass slowly by, all green hills, trickling brooks, and dense thickets. The occasional straw hut loomed out of the wilderness like an antsy thief, and six miles out of the village, they passed a stately manor house that could only have belonged to the mayor.
It was mid-afternoon and the overcast day wrapped itself around Griger like a wet blanket. The previous night, Governor Farbin sprang Griger from his cell and brought him to the inn, where he was kept under armed guard. Griger spent most of the evening in a straight back chair and whittling. You don’t have to worry, he said to the sentry standing at the door, I’m not going anywhere.
And he wasn’t. He was not an honor bound man by any stretch, but Farbin saved his life, and Griger reckoned that earned him a little loyalty.
The guards didn’t stand down, but Griger didn’t blame them. He wouldn’t have either.
In the morning, they set off in a horse drawn carriage, heading northwest along the Western Road. Now, hours later, Griger sat next to the Governor, who wore a dark cloak and wide-brimmed hat befitting his office. Beside him, the driver held the reins and stared ahead with the practiced indifference of a man used to tuning out things he wasn’t supposed to hear.
“Will you explain to me what I’m doing?” Griger asked.
Farbin was quiet for a moment, then he looked up at the sky, the muted light bathing his craggy features. “Your file says that you’ve done work for the Government.”
“Some,” Griger replied.
“You’ve handled things of a singular nature,” the old man continued. “Things that most other men have never dreamed possible.”
Gringer nodded. He had. His only oath was to himself, and he worked for whoever paid him the highest sum. Men like him were called mercenaries but he preferred to think of himself as a businessman.
“There’s a matter in a nearby village that has been ongoing for quite some time,” Farbin said, picking his words carefully. “I have sent my best agents and they’ve done nothing for it. When the paperwork on you came to my office, I checked your name, as I do all condemned men, and knew at once that you were the man for this job.”
Griger was almost touched. “What’s the job?”
The Governor turned to face Griger, his expression bloodless and sober, as though he had something great yet terrible to impart upon him. “Do you believe in werewolves?”
“Yes,” he said, “I do.”
“Have you ever killed one?”
Griger hesitated. “No,” he said, “not personally, but I was with a party that did.”
Five years before, Griger wintered in a village among the steep foothills guarding the forbidding expanse of Mount Grez. In the deepest, darkest days of the freeze, local livestock began to die, ripped asunder and strewn across snowy fields like trash. Wolf tracks larger than any Griger had ever seen led to and from each scene, and at night, high, ghostly howls rose above the shrieking wind, curdling the blood of even the most sturdy men.
After a watchman on patrol was attacked and gutted in the main square, the men of the village banded together and tracked the beast, eventually cornering it in a cave near a frozen river. Even if he lived to be a thousand, Griger would never forget the monster they encountered. Seven feet tall, coated in matted gray fur, its face canine yet human, its eyes blazed with the fires of hell, and as the men approached, it snapped and snarled, the sounds it made so close to words that even now, Griger wondered if it were trying to speak. They beset it with swords and torches, and when the dust settled, five men were dead and three were wounded. The wolf lay crumpled on the ground, decapitated and aflame. Even with no head, even with its heart divorced from its body, it screeched as the fire consumed it, a high, hitching wail that haunted Griger’s dreams for many moons after.
Farbin nodded. “I figured as much. A man as well-travelled as you has to have seen such things.”
He went on to explain that a suspected werewolf was loose in the countryside around the village of Koreth, a tiny fishing port on the sloped and muddy banks of the Rey River. Three weeks before, sheep and horses began to turn up dead, their bodies laid open and their intestines pulled from their stomachs. Before long, travellers along the Western Road started to die in a similar manner. Every time a new victim appeared, officials found large wolf tracks and strands of fur nearby.
Several nights ago, it broke into the home of a land baron and killed him, his wife, and his daughter. His young son survived, but was blinded in one eye.
‘It was a massive beast,’ the boy told the Governor, a personal friend of the baron. ‘It stood seven feet tall, was as wide as it was long, and had the snarling face of a man mixed with a dog.’
“You want me to kill it,” Griger said. It was not a question.
“Yes.”
The carriage jostled as its big wheels splashed through ruts and puddles. “And in return…?”
“You’ll get a full and unconditional pardon.”
Hmm. Griger considered the offer carefully, even though he was in no position to bargain. “Alright,” he said at last, “I’ll do it.”
They arrived at the village three hours later. Perched on the banks of the lazy river, it seemed a single estate rather than a town. A stone wall, roughly a dozen feet high, enclosed it, pitched roofs visible beyond. Two guards in helmets and chainmail, swords on their hips and crossbows in their hands, stood at the gate, their expressions stony and as hardscrabble as the fields sloping away from the walls.
Inside, tiny buildings lined narrow dirt streets and people in plain, homespun clothes went about their business, pushing carts, hawking vegetables, and playing dice. Old men sat in canned chairs before the town pub and a group of boys chased each other back and forth through shadowed warrens, their faces smudged and weatherbeaten beyond their years. Chickens and pigs, both plump and hale, ran free, the former flapping their impotent wings and the latter snorting happily as they wallowed and shat. Griger spotted a blacksmith in his quarters, striking an anvil with a hammer, and wondered idly if he had any interesting items for sale.
“The people here are stubborn and refuse to flee,” Farbin said.
Griger faced forward. “These types usually are.”
“You are not to worry about their safety,” Farbin warned. “They can see to themselves. Your only concern is to be the wolf.”
“Understood.”
The driver parked near the town inn and tied the horse to a hitching post while Griger and Farbin got out. Griger rolled his neck and flexed his shoulders. After so many years of walking wherever he went, he was unaccustomed to sitting for long periods and inevitably ended any long, stationary trek sore.
Past the batwing doors, a shadowy lobby lit by candlelight greeted them. Farbin led Griger directly up the stairs and to a tidy room with a single, neatly made bed and a desk beneath the window. “These are your quarters,” Farbin said.
“Spacious,” Griger said unsarcastically. He sat on the edge of the bed. “What leads do you have on this wolf?”
“None beyond what I’ve told you,” Farbn said. “My men have scoured the countryside but they haven’t found a thing.”
Griger hummed. “No tracks? Droppings? Nothing at all?”
“Not beyond what I’ve told you.”
That was odd. Werewolves rarely strayed far from their den. Unless they were of the rare half-breed that turned upon the cycle of the moon, man at day and beast by night. But those were as common as an honest man in the High Council - not very damned common at all.
“What are you thinking?” Farbin asked.
Griger said what was on his mind.
“But those aren’t real,” the Governor said, a hint of confusion in his voice.
“I tell you they are.”
Farbin’s brow furrowed with incredulity. “A man cannot simply change his form, nor can a wolf, for that matter. It goes against all logic.”
All Griger could do was spread his hands. That a man - even a large one - could transform into a werewolf (and that a werewolf could shrink back to the size of a mere man) did defy logic. Griger could not account for it, but he knew it to be so, and he said as much. Farbin, shaken by the confidence in Griger’s tone, nervously scratched the back of his neck and looked constipated. “Put aside what you think you know and ask yourself. What if it is a wolf-man?”
“But what if it isn’t?” Farbin countered.
Griger ticked his head to the side in acquiescence. “Maybe it’s not. Maybe your men have failed to uncover a den large enough to house a seven foot tall monster. Maybe they’ve been looking up each other’s backsides instead of where they should be.”
A dark shadow flickered across Farbin’s face. “My men are highly trained and highly skilled.”
“That’s why you came to me.”
Farbin fumed. “I came to you because you have experience in such things.”
“Right,” Griger said. “I do. And I’m telling you - in my expert opinion - that if there is no den, the wolf is a changeling. I cannot explain the science behind how and why it is a changeling. I don’t know how it can happen...but it does. You have to consider the possibility that you are looking for a phantom, that your wolf may be out there right this second ploughing a field or herding sheep and not asleep in a cave waiting to be found and made.”
Farbin turned away and put his hands on his hips. No shoulder had ever been colder, and for a second, Griger thought the old man was going to send him back to the gallows. “Alright,” Farbin finally said, “suppose it is a half-breed. What then?”
“I want to see where the latest attack happened.”
A half an hour later, Griger and Farbin stood before a large stone house with a slate roof and wide windows. A dirt drive looped around an ornate fountain and tall trees rustled in the new breeze. Several Provincial Guardsmen accompanied them, all with swords and crossbows and one, the commander, with a rare flintlock on his hip. Farbin led Gringer to the west side of the structure. “The wolf came in through the servants’ entrance,” he explained. A set of paw prints led to the door and Gringer knelt to study them. Roughly half a foot apart, they were slightly larger than any other he had seen.
Inside, the house was dark and cold, shadows clustered in corners like demons waiting for the fall of night to advance their ghoulish aims. Dried blood stained the wooden floors and spackled the bare walls. “Has anyone seen this creature and lived but the boy?”
Farbin shook his head. “No.” His face was white and strained, the somber, funeral atmosphere affecting him.
“You’ve told me everything?”
“Yes.”
Griger nodded to himself. If the wolf were a changeling, someone, somewhere likely would have seen it coming or going. That was a strike against his theory. On the other hand, there were likely dozens of isolated farms and homesteads scattered through the surrounding countryside. The wolf could be anyone from anywhere.
“I want to talk to the locals,” Griger said as he and Farbin walked back to the carriage.
“Right.”
“I’ll also need a team of men at my disposal,” Griger said. “And a sword.”
They were sitting across from each other in the carriage’s enclosed cab. Without, the sky was beginning to cool to purple and evening gloom stealthy crept from the forest. “We’ll get you one.”
“It must be made with silver,” Griger said.
Farbin frowned. “Silver is a poor alloy for sword-making.”
“But it’s the only alloy for werewolf killing,” Griger said. “It shouldn’t be made entirely of silver, but there must be some in it, the more, the better.
Farbin nodded that he understood.
By the time they made it back to the village, full dark had fallen. The streets stood deserted, the animals locked up for the night and most of the people hunkered in their homes. A few guards walked the lanes and dooyards, bows and swords at the ready, and a stray cat with no tail slunk furtively between piles of refuse, its ears laid flat against its skull and its fur matted and crisscrossed with scars from battles past.
The only activity was at the pub attached to the inn, where lights burned in the segmented windows and the chatter of many voices drifted into the street, occasionally flaring in laughter or song. Apparently, those hearty souls refused to let a wolf stand between them and their end-of-day festivities.
Griger’s respect for them increased.
Before entering, Farbin and Griger called on the blacksmith, a burly man with a bald head and a mustache that reminded Griger of walruses he had killed and eaten at the top of the world. Griger explained his need and impressed upon the man a sense of urgency. “I need it as soon as you can possibly have it ready.”
The blacksmith nodded gamely. “I’ll have it by dawn.”
Farbin took out his purse and paid, then they made their way to the inn.
Inside, a roaring fire crackled in the stone hearth and lamps on the walls sent shadows flickering across the floor. A dozen men sat at the bar with stines of beer and a half dozen more occupied the many tables in the middle of the room. A barkeep kept the drinks flowing while a pretty waitress with her blonde hair done up in an elaborate braid like a golden tiara brought trays of beer and pretzels to the tables.
Griger and Farbin sat at an empty table near the fireplace and Farbin removed his gloves. “Men will make merry even while the world burns around them,” he mused.
“Why not,” Griger said, “they can’t do it in the grave.”
The women came over and they ordered a pitcher of beer and a sandwich each. While they waited, Griger went to every man one-by-one and asked them about the wolf. They responded, to a man, with an eye roll or a dismissive laugh. None were worried in the slightest. One man lifted his brow in a pitying sort of way and looked Griger up and down as though he were mad. “Werewolves? Why, those were banished from the Realm centuries ago, it’s all much ado about nothing.”
“It’s a big wolf,” the barkeep said, “and dangerous too, that much is fact. But it’s a lot of hysteria. People today are too goddamn soft. In my time, we had wolves and bears too. If they acted out of line, we hunted them down and cut their heads off.”
The last man Griger came to was a wispy, white-haired oldster with rheumy eyes and three days’ worth of stubble covering his angular chin. Baggy brown clothes, old and wrinkled and caked in the dirt of the field, hung slack from his scrawny frame, and his long, spindly fingers threaded through the handle of his mug like fleshless bone. If Griger had ever seen a man who bore the official title “Town Drunk” he wouldn’t look the part any more than the old man.
Before Griger could ask him a single question, he spoke in a rusty voice that conjured images of graveyard gates in the dark Province of Helem. “I seen it,” he said, “and it weren’t no regular wolf neither.”
The barkeep sniffed. “You see lots of things, Sel. Like them little pink elephants.”
A wave of mean-spirited laughter ran through the bar, and Sel’s jaw clenched. Griger sensed that Sel was often made sport of at the bar.
Ignoring the other, Griger asked, “You’ve seen it?”
Sel nodded and held up three fingers. “Thrice, in fact,” he said with a belch.
“Tell me.”
The old timer looked up at him with a twist of suspicion. “Down by the road leadin’ up,” he said.
“All three times?”
“All three times,” Sel confirmed.
Once a mason, Sel had moved to the village ten years before to try his hand at farming, he explained. His homestead, comprising five acres, a tumbledown barn, and a decomposing shack masquerading as a house, sat below the walls, in a hollow between the hill and the river. Many nights, he sat on the front porch and “communed with the King” (King Rum, Griger assumed). From that perch, he witnessed “The damned beast” loping toward town. “The first time, I seen’t it over in the road,” he said, pronouncing road as rud. “I have good eyesight and I knew right off it weren’t normal, so I jumped outta my chair and ducked down real low so ways he couldn’t see me.”
Sel couldn’t provide a description of the wolf beyond “near eight damn feet tall and built like a mountain” but Griger didn’t need one. The old man’s story supported his supposition that the wolf was coming from somewhere else and not a den in the hills. Why would it come down the middle of the road each time? The only thing to the south was the river and open fields dotted by stands of forest, all of which Farbin’s men had already searched.
Werewolves are nocturnal creatures who sequester themselves somewhere dark and dry during the day. Farbin’s men should have found it by now. That they hadn’t suggested that it was a changeling.
Thanking Sel for his help, Griger went back to the table and sat across from Farbin. “The baron’s house lies in the direction of the river,” he said, more to himself than to the Governor. “What of the other attacks?”
“Mainly in that area,” Farbin said, “why?”
“The changeling - and that’s what it is - comes from across the river. How many homesteads are there beyond the banks?”
“At least two dozen,” Farbin said.
Griger crossed his arms and thought for a moment. “I want your men, tomorrow, out there going door to door with garlic. Make everyone they come across smell it and anyone who sneezes is put under watch.”
The Governor looked stricken. “But...why?”
“Changelings are allergic to garlic,” Griger said.
Farbin pursed his lips in contemplation. “Alright,” he said, “I’ll have them start at first light.”
After dining, they adjourned to their rooms, Farbin on one side of the hall and Griger on the other. A team of six Guardsmen took up position in the empty saloon and kept watch, ready to roll out at a moment’s notice. Griger threw the window open and perched on the ledge, the night breeze washing over him and rustling his graying hair. He rolled a cigarette, lit it with the bedside candle, and looked up at the glowing face of the waxing moon. Tomorrow night it would be full and the changeling would be compelled to turn and hunt as the tide was compelled to crest. It could come tonight still, but unless it was killed, it would return tomorrow for certain, mad with bloodlust.
Well past midnight, Griger blew out the candle and retired. The mattress was far too soft and it took him nearly a half hour of tossing, turning, and muttering curses to himself to find a position he liked. Once he did, he fell into a light sleep from which he was aroused near dawn by a knock at the door. One of the guards informed him that the blacksmith was finished with his sword, and after dressing, he and Farbin went to collect it. Comprising a simple blade with a guard and a grip, it was far from the most opulent weapon Griger had ever wielded, but it was well-suited to his needs and fit comfortably in his hand.
Back at the inn, Farbin gathered every available man under his command, including the constable and his three deputies, and ordered them to sweep the countryside as Griger had suggested the night before. They showed no reaction despite their lord’s strange request, and departed in a single file line.
The saloon opened for breakfast at six and Griger and Farbin each had a plate of eggs, bacon, and beans. People began to drift in as they ate, Sel the Drunkard at the head of the pack. The maiden, who quartered somewhere upstairs, came down in a simple white dress beneath a waist apron, and Griger’s eyes tracked her as she carried out her functions. The dress - loose and high cut - revealed nothing of her bosom, but pulled tight across her bottom when she leaned over to set food and coffee in front of her guests. Their gazes met, and her eyes flicked quickly away like two timid minnows in a fish bowl.
She was beautiful.
She reminded him of someone.
His mind went back to the jagged mountains atop the world, to a little cabin where weary travellers waited out the snowstorms that raged sometimes for weeks in the winter. There, in one of the most isolated outposts of the Realm, lived a woman Griger had known. She was tall and gaunt whereas the barmaid was average and healthy, her hair was black to the maiden’s blonde, but their eyes were the same breathtaking hazel. Now, staring at his plate, his chest stirred in a way that it hadn’t in years.
He didn’t like it.
“...else,” Farbin was saying.
“Yeah,” Griger said, as though he knew what Farbin had said. Now, the woman he loved one winter was on his mind and his mood was verging on foul. He recalled the way her hair brushed the creamy slope of her throat when she turned her head, the sound of her laughter, how her heels dug into his behind, urging him deeper unto her.
He was young, then, and a fool. People, he learned later, come and people go. Loving someone...indeed even hating them...was pointless, for in a breath of summer wind, they’re gone.
After finishing with breakfast, Farbin requested a metal tub be filled with water so that he could bathe. While he did that, Griger threaded his sword through his belt and walked down to the river, keeping his eyes open for wolf tracks. He spotted a few in the dirt edging the road, all pointing in the direction from which he had just come, and squatted down to examine one more closely.
Just before reaching the water, Sel’s farm appeared on the right, the main house seeming to sag in the middle as though under the burden of years and the field out back overgrown and gone to seed. The place looked as though it had died, come back to life, then died again. The screen door, which naturally hung askew, banged open, and Sel himself backed out butt first, a ceramic pot in his hands. He turned, saw Griger, and hesitated, then ducked his head and scurried down the stairs, disappearing around the side of the house Griger lingered a moment, then followed, tangles of grass pulling at his boots. In the back, a clear patch boasted several pots like the one Sel had come out with, each blossoming with an assortment of multicolored flowers. Sel knelt before one and heaped rich soil in with his hands. A gust of wind flipped his lank, white hair back and forth, and a satisfied smile played at the corners of his thin mouth.
“You garden?” Griger asked.
Sel shot him a dirty look. “I do,” he said, a defensive edge in his voice. He stopped, favored the flowers with a sober look, and added, “These plants are the only friends I’ve got.” He chuckled self-consciously.
“Plants seem like they’d make poor friends,” Griger said. “When the first frost comes, they leave you.”
Sel ticked his head to one side in acquiescence. “Tis better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all.”
An image of the girl at the top of the world flashed across Griger’s mind, and for a moment he could feel, feel, her presence. “I don’t believe that,” Griger said. “Loss is hard for a man who’s known love.”
“Still better than never knowing it at all,” Sel said and got stiffly to his feet. He dusted his hands on his pants.
“You’ve never lost someone,” Griger said.
“You’ve never loved someone,” Sel countered.
Griger stiffened. Mouthy old bastard, yes I have.
“What do you want?” Sel asked.
“I wanted to ask you about the werewolf.”
Sel’s face crinkled. “I told you everything I know.” He started walking back to the front of the house, and Griger fell in beside him.
“Is there anywhere around here you think a werewolf might live?” Griger asked. “Caves? Dens? Anything.”
“There’s some caves about,” Sel said, “other than that, I can’t say.”
They were on the porch now, Sel holding the door open.
“Can you tell me your story one more time?” Griger asked. “Maybe it might jog something you forgot.”
Sel sighed. “I don’t have nothin’, okay?”
He started to go inside, but Griger stopped him. “Please?”
The old man looked at him, then sighed. “Fine. Come in.”
They sat in Sel’s tiny and cluttered parlor. The furniture was as old and threadbare as the man who owned it, and the simple walls were crowded with old photos, many of them featuring a smiling woman with dark hair. She looked nothing like the girl at the top of the world, but Griger was reminded of her anyway. “Your wife?” he asked.
Sel, seated in an armchair across from him, busied himself pouring Griger a cup of tea. “Yes,” he said shortly.
From his tone - and the woman’s absence - Griger inferred that she was dead. “I’m sorry.”
Sel’s hand shook as he pushed the cup across the table. “So am I,” he said.
“Children?” Griger asked.
“Three,” Sel said. “Two boys and a girl.” Tears crept into the old man’s faded eyes and he fixed his gaze on a point over Griger’s shoulder. Open displays of emotion made Griger uncomfortable, and he shifted in his seat, sorry that he had brought the topic up. “We were married thirty years,” Sel said. His lips trembled and Griger thought he was going to break down crying. Instead, he smiled. “Those were good years.”
Griger nodded to himself. “I bet.”
He must not have sounded convincing, because Sel creased his brow. “Are you married?”
“No.”
“Ever loved someone?”
“No.”
Sel looked at him with a frank directness that bordered on mind-reading, and though it wasn’t possible, Griger could almost imagine the old man was seeing into his mind...and his heart. “You’re a liar.”
Griger considered his reply for a long time. “When I was a boy,” he said. “I thought I was in love.”
“What happened?”
Perhaps the old man had cast some kind of pall over him...or maybe he was in a rare mood...but Griger heard himself answer honestly. “I left her.”
A heavy silence lay between them.
“You left her?”
Griger nodded. “I moved on. She had her ways and I had mine. I didn’t see us working.”
“You regret it.”
“Yes,” Griger responded instantly. “I wish I tried.”
Sel nodded understandingly. “All boys make mistakes. Some are just luckier than others, I reckon.” He laughed, his posture relaxing, and Griger realized he was starting to like the old bastard.
“True,” he said. “Now your story…”
Sighing, Sel lifted a hand. “I don’t have much ways else to say.” He ran through his story just as he had before, with no additions or subtractions.
Griger nodded that he was satisfied, and got to his feet. “That’ll be all.”
Sel walked him to the door and stuck out his hand. “That damned thing’s a monster,” he said as they shook, “you watch yourself.”
“I can handle a werewolf,” Griger assured him.
Later on, after returning to the inn, Griger and Farbin rode out to meet the men on the other side of the river, catching up to them at a fork in the road. “No one’s sneezed or broken out, sire,” Farbin’s second-in-command, a tall, rodent-faced man, reported.
“Expand the dragnet,” Griger said.
Rat-face looked at Farbin for confirmation, and the Governor nodded.
They would find the wolf...or the wolf would find them.
Griger wanted the former, but would settle for the latter.
If he had to.
2023.03.21 07:34 TheLimeyCanuck [HowTo] Install Windows Server 2022 on a Lenovo M720Q or M920Q Tiny PC
The Lenovo ThinkCentre M720Q/M920Q Tiny PC is a popular choice of homelabbers. For such a small package it's a very capable mini server with a reasonably light power requirements. While some of the other variants in the ThinkCentre Tiny line don't have a usable PCIe slot, the Q models just require a cheap riser adapter to extend the PCIe slot to the top of the case so a half height x8 card can be installed. The riser design actually allows x16 cards to fit, but they will only run at x8. I just installed Windows Server 2022 on a M720Q and ran into some snags along the way. It took quite a bit of Googling and experimentation to get it all working properly and I thought it might help others trying the same thing if I put all the info I tracked down from multiple sources into a single post. While this howto is specific to the Lenovo ThinkCentre Tiny PCs it might be useful to those installing Visual Studio 2022 on other homelab metal too. Note that this solution requires some GUI intervention so it probably only works on the Desktop Experience versions of Windows Server. I haven't tried it on a core-only installation.
After seriously looking at a bunch of fanless 2.5Gbps micro-appliance boxes I realized I could buy a used 1L format tiny PC and put an SFP+ PCIe NIC and two 10Gbps transceivers in it for less money and only a slight increase in power consumption. I'd also be able to run a level 1 hypervisor and move several servers from my LAN there too, allowing some of the always-on PCs to be switched off most of the time. In the end I got a good price on a used Lenovo M720Q which has an i5-8400T 1.7GHz CPU (with hardware AES), 8GB RAM, single gigabit Ethernet port, one USB-C 3.1 Gen 1, two USB 3.1 Gen 1, two USB 3.1 Gen 2, one HDMI, and one DisplayPort connection. It also has integrated PCIe WiFi (which I will probably remove), 250GB M.2 NVMe SSD, and the optional second DisplayPort output (which I will definitely remove). All in a case about the same size as the old cable modem from my old ISP. It's actually only about 2/3 the size of the HomeHub 4000 fiber modem I'm using now.
Now the platform is decided it's time to evaluate hypervisors while I wait for the Mellanox dual SFP+ PCIe card, PCIe riser adapter, and two 10GBASE-T transceivers to arrive from China. I plan to test ESXi and Proxmox later, but I currently have a virtualized Windows Server 2016 VM I fire up for the fax server function whenever my wife needs to fax from her desk in her financial services business, so it makes sense to consider using Hyper-V as the hypervisor and just enable the fax server role so it is always available without needing to start a VM for it.
I loaded a copy of Windows Server 2022 on the M720Q but quickly realized it wasn't going to be a turnkey installation.
Also, although the WiFi card in the M720Q includes Bluetooth, Windows Server doesn't know how to install the driver for the BT Personal Area Network Service on that device and will show it as non-functional in Device Manager even after you have managed to install the BT driver. You will have to tell it what driver to install manually.
First you need to download the Win10 NIC driver from here. The one you want is the Wired_driver_nn.n_x64.zip one. Extract Wired_driver_nn.n_x64.exe from the ZIP file and then use something like 7Zip to extract the contents of the EXE into its own subdirectory.
You'll need to figure out which INF file to edit, and for that you'll need the hardware ID of the Intel NIC. Find the broken NIC in Device Manager and get the vendor and device portion of the ID string. For instance if the hardware ID is PCI\VEN_8086&DEV_15BC&SUBSYS_85F01043 the part you want is VEN_8086&DEV_15BC. Now we can use PowerShell to search for that string in all the INF files in the driver pack.
Fire up Powershell and navigate to the directory you extracted the driver EXE to. This NIC is 1Gbps so we only have to search in the PRO1000\WinX64 subdirectory. For reasons I don't claim to understand, the driver in WS2022 won't install for us, so we will search for an INF to edit in the NDIS65 subdirectory instead. These Powershell commands will return the name of the INF file you will need to edit in the next step.
Within the INF file search for the section [ControlFlags] and delete everything within that section. Don't remove the [ControlFlags] section heading though.
Search for the section [Intel.NTamd64.10.0.1] and copy every line from that section. Next search for the section [Intel.NTamd64.10.0] and append all the lines you just copied from [Intel.NTamd64.10.0.1] to the lines already there. Do not delete the existing lines in [Intel.NTamd64.10.0] just add to them.
You are done modifying the driver INF. Save it and copy the entire extracted EXE folder to a USB stick for transfer to the M720Q/M920Q. If you haven't already installed Windows Server on your target machine, do it now.
When Windows Server 2022 has completely booted open an elevated cmd window and execute these three commands...
After scanning you should get a list of all the devices it found requiring drivers. On my particular M720Q it found 10 devices. You can select which ones you want to install before proceeding so if there is something there you have a reason not to want the suggested driver for, turn that one off. In my case it offered a UEFI update, which I accepted, but this is something you might want to delay updating till later. Once you have told it which drivers you want click the install button and let it do its thing. I found that while it scanned for installed hardware fairly quickly, if you let it install all the drivers it found it can take quite a long time. You might want to grab a coffee or a sandwich while it works, but be aware that it will likely ask you for permission to install an unsigned driver again part way through so don't stray too far.
Also note that if you accepted a UEFI update it may reboot your machine to flash the new image before it has finished installing everything else. If this happens (it did for me) then after the reboot you will have to go back to the Lenovo Automatic Update page and tell it to scan and install again to complete updating the remaining drivers.
Once all the drivers have been installed reboot your machine before checking in Device Manager since some of the drivers don't seem to complete installation until the next restart.
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Background
I recently upgraded from 300Mbps cable internet to 1.7Gbps fiber. For over five years I've been running pfSense in a level 2 VM (VMware Workstation) on an always-on desktop PC on my LAN. While this worked great at 300Mbps it proved inadequate for multi-gigabit speeds. With a direct connection to the Bell HomeHub 4000 gigabit ports it can only manage 4-500Mbps throughput, so it was time to move pfSense into something better.After seriously looking at a bunch of fanless 2.5Gbps micro-appliance boxes I realized I could buy a used 1L format tiny PC and put an SFP+ PCIe NIC and two 10Gbps transceivers in it for less money and only a slight increase in power consumption. I'd also be able to run a level 1 hypervisor and move several servers from my LAN there too, allowing some of the always-on PCs to be switched off most of the time. In the end I got a good price on a used Lenovo M720Q which has an i5-8400T 1.7GHz CPU (with hardware AES), 8GB RAM, single gigabit Ethernet port, one USB-C 3.1 Gen 1, two USB 3.1 Gen 1, two USB 3.1 Gen 2, one HDMI, and one DisplayPort connection. It also has integrated PCIe WiFi (which I will probably remove), 250GB M.2 NVMe SSD, and the optional second DisplayPort output (which I will definitely remove). All in a case about the same size as the old cable modem from my old ISP. It's actually only about 2/3 the size of the HomeHub 4000 fiber modem I'm using now.
Now the platform is decided it's time to evaluate hypervisors while I wait for the Mellanox dual SFP+ PCIe card, PCIe riser adapter, and two 10GBASE-T transceivers to arrive from China. I plan to test ESXi and Proxmox later, but I currently have a virtualized Windows Server 2016 VM I fire up for the fax server function whenever my wife needs to fax from her desk in her financial services business, so it makes sense to consider using Hyper-V as the hypervisor and just enable the fax server role so it is always available without needing to start a VM for it.
I loaded a copy of Windows Server 2022 on the M720Q but quickly realized it wasn't going to be a turnkey installation.
The Problem
Even though it is recent, the Windows Server 2022 installer doesn't include chipset drivers for the M720Q. Most importantly there is no driver included for the Intel I219V LAN chip in the Lenovo so there is no way to go online to install the missing drivers from the web. This wouldn't normally be too much of a problem since you can usually collect the necessary drivers onto a USB stick beforehand and then install them manually after the OS. The challenge is that there are no Windows Server driver installers for this NIC and the Windows 10/11 ones won't install onto WS 2022. If you could get onto the internet Lenovo has an online driver scanner which could find the drivers you need and install them automatically, but you can't.Also, although the WiFi card in the M720Q includes Bluetooth, Windows Server doesn't know how to install the driver for the BT Personal Area Network Service on that device and will show it as non-functional in Device Manager even after you have managed to install the BT driver. You will have to tell it what driver to install manually.
The NIC Driver Solution
The problem with the Windows 10/11 I219V drivers is that the INF file doesn't include the necessary entries for Windows Server to know how to install it. Luckily there is a way to edit it so WS accepts it, but this means you will need to temporarily disable driver signing and Secure Boot. Once the modified driver INF is installed you can re-enable everything again. I found how to do this here, but I will extract the relevant parts and detail the steps in this post.First you need to download the Win10 NIC driver from here. The one you want is the Wired_driver_nn.n_x64.zip one. Extract Wired_driver_nn.n_x64.exe from the ZIP file and then use something like 7Zip to extract the contents of the EXE into its own subdirectory.
You'll need to figure out which INF file to edit, and for that you'll need the hardware ID of the Intel NIC. Find the broken NIC in Device Manager and get the vendor and device portion of the ID string. For instance if the hardware ID is PCI\VEN_8086&DEV_15BC&SUBSYS_85F01043 the part you want is VEN_8086&DEV_15BC. Now we can use PowerShell to search for that string in all the INF files in the driver pack.
Fire up Powershell and navigate to the directory you extracted the driver EXE to. This NIC is 1Gbps so we only have to search in the PRO1000\WinX64 subdirectory. For reasons I don't claim to understand, the driver in WS2022 won't install for us, so we will search for an INF to edit in the NDIS65 subdirectory instead. These Powershell commands will return the name of the INF file you will need to edit in the next step.
CD...making sure to replace the vendor and device string with the one you got from the previous step. Now that you know what file to edit open it in your text editor of choice.\PRO1000\WinX64\NDIS65 Get-ChildItem -recurse Select-String -pattern "Ven_8086&Dev_15BC" group path select name
Within the INF file search for the section [ControlFlags] and delete everything within that section. Don't remove the [ControlFlags] section heading though.
Search for the section [Intel.NTamd64.10.0.1] and copy every line from that section. Next search for the section [Intel.NTamd64.10.0] and append all the lines you just copied from [Intel.NTamd64.10.0.1] to the lines already there. Do not delete the existing lines in [Intel.NTamd64.10.0] just add to them.
You are done modifying the driver INF. Save it and copy the entire extracted EXE folder to a USB stick for transfer to the M720Q/M920Q. If you haven't already installed Windows Server on your target machine, do it now.
Installing the Modified LAN Driver
When you modify a driver INF like we just did the vendor security signature in the file is no longer valid and Windows Server will not allow it to be installed unless we temporarily disable driver signing. There are two ways configure WS for this... the easier command line method which works on hardware with UEFI and the more complicated GUI method required if your device only has an old-fashioned BIOS. The article I linked to at the top explains both ways, but since both the M720Q and 920Q have UEFI I will only detail the CLI method here. If you have UEFI Safe Boot turned on one of the required PowerShell commands will fail so you need to turn it off before proceeding. Any changes we make here to get the modified driver installed with be reverted again before we are done. On the ThinkCentres you get into UEFI setup by pressing F12 during bootup and then selecting the last option presented. Once you have Safe Boot turned off restart the machine.When Windows Server 2022 has completely booted open an elevated cmd window and execute these three commands...
bcdedit /set LOADOPTIONS DISABLE_INTEGRITY_CHECKS bcdedit /set TESTSIGNING ON bcdedit /set nointegritychecks OFFRestart the machine to apply the new settings. Now with driver signing turned off you can go into Device Manager and select Update Driver Software... for the LAN NIC. When asked choose Browse my computer for driver software and then on the next dialog enter the location of the PRO1000\WinX64\NDIS65 folder on your USB stick and click Next. You will get a warning that Windows can't verify the publisher of the driver, which is because we messed with it, but just click Install this driver software anyway. If all goes well the driver will install and you now have Ethernet functionality, ready for the next step.
Install the Chipset Drivers
Open this page in the Edge browser and click the Scan Now button in the Automatic Update box. For Lenovo to scan your machine's installed hardware it will ask you to install Lenovo Bridge software. It's required for this to work, so just say yes. After scanning it will also ask you to install a live installer utility, also required.After scanning you should get a list of all the devices it found requiring drivers. On my particular M720Q it found 10 devices. You can select which ones you want to install before proceeding so if there is something there you have a reason not to want the suggested driver for, turn that one off. In my case it offered a UEFI update, which I accepted, but this is something you might want to delay updating till later. Once you have told it which drivers you want click the install button and let it do its thing. I found that while it scanned for installed hardware fairly quickly, if you let it install all the drivers it found it can take quite a long time. You might want to grab a coffee or a sandwich while it works, but be aware that it will likely ask you for permission to install an unsigned driver again part way through so don't stray too far.
Also note that if you accepted a UEFI update it may reboot your machine to flash the new image before it has finished installing everything else. If this happens (it did for me) then after the reboot you will have to go back to the Lenovo Automatic Update page and tell it to scan and install again to complete updating the remaining drivers.
Once all the drivers have been installed reboot your machine before checking in Device Manager since some of the drivers don't seem to complete installation until the next restart.
The Bluetooth Personal Area Network Service Driver
After the reboot Device Manager should show all device drivers installed and working... except one. For some reason Windows Server doesn't identify the correct driver for device ID BTH\MS_BTHPAN, even with the BT drivers installed, so you will still see one device left without a valid driver installed. Luckily the fix is easy. In Device Manager right-click on the broken device and select Update driver then Browse my computer for drivers. On the next dialog choose Let me pick from a list of available drivers on my computer. From the list of device categories pick Bluetooth then select Microsoft -> Personal Area Network Service and install it. Once done you should see all drivers installed and working in Device Manager.Cleaning Up
Now that all the devices in your ThinkCentre have working drivers it's time to re-enable driver signing to avoid malicious driver installation in the future. Open an elevated cmd window and enter these three commands in order...bcdedit /set nointegritychecks ON bcdedit /set TESTSIGNING OFF bcdedit /set LOADOPTIONS ENABLE_INTEGRITY_CHECKSNext restart your machine and enter the UEFI setup by pressing the F12 key during boot. Turn Safe Boot back on and then allow the ThinkCentre to continue booting. At this point you should have a fully functional M720Q/M920Q running Windows Server 2022.
Conclusion
The Lenovo M720Q and M920Q Tiny PCs are perfect for many homelabs, offering ample connectivity with credible performance in a very compact package. Even in the older M720Q the i5 processors support hardware AES, enabling virtualization of pfSense/OPNsense with minimal performance hit, and it can easily take dual/quad NIC cards up to 10Gbps. Although the newer M920Q is a bit pricier, the older M720Q is almost the same machine and can be had for under $200 used. The only problem is that the chipset in them is not one which the Windows Server installer has drivers for. I hope that my tutorial will help others get over the hurdles and add these little gems to your homelab.2023.03.21 07:29 MugShots Police arrest Illinois man charged with stealing funeral home van with body inside
 | submitted by MugShots to ArrestStories [link] [comments] |
2023.03.21 07:24 cordeliaxx Is it just me or do the new (Russell Nelson) temples look more like funeral homes. They're much more cheaply made than the old REAL temples. Will the new cheapened down temples be called the Nelson cheapo temples?
The Mormon Church has billion$ and yet they have cheapened Rusty's new temples down to being very mediocre.
I can see paying 10% tithe to get into the real temples but tithing should be discounted to 5% to get into Rusty's cheapo temples.
Rusty's legacy is getting shoddier all the time: first the child exclusion revelation and reversal, then protecting pedophiles, publicly admitting to SEC crimes and now second rate temples.
Rusty's legacy is on a downward spiral with nothing in sight to change it.
submitted by cordeliaxx to exmormon [link] [comments]
I can see paying 10% tithe to get into the real temples but tithing should be discounted to 5% to get into Rusty's cheapo temples.
Rusty's legacy is getting shoddier all the time: first the child exclusion revelation and reversal, then protecting pedophiles, publicly admitting to SEC crimes and now second rate temples.
Rusty's legacy is on a downward spiral with nothing in sight to change it.
2023.03.21 07:13 MelancholyBean How fake are your parents?
So my Grandpa passed away 7 weeks ago. My Dad didn't tell me about the funeral, even though I live with my parents. He called my brother who lives interstate right away and told him to fly home for the funeral.
There could be a few reasons why he didn't tell me. Maybe my Grandpa told him he hates me and don't want me around; my Dad knows I don't care for my Grandpa because of how differently me treated me and how he treated my late older brother; or my Dad is ashamed of me because I haven't worked in a year.
I overheard my Mum saying to my Dad that they should tell me about the funeral, but my Dad refused. If I hadn't asked my Mum about the wake and funeral my parents would have went without saying anything to me. I attended and during the wake my Dad asked one of my cousins to take a family photo of my parents, me, my brother and his wife. I was thinking how fake he is. Also one of my other cousin suffered a stroke driving to the airport to attend the funeral. Since that cousin visited two weeks beforehand and told me her plans I knew that she was working in a rural area interstate. I told an Aunty about this and she mentioned it to a few Aunties and Uncles. Then my Dad went up to me and asked about it, looking at me normally. Whereas our dynamic is extremely awkward and at home we avoid looking at each other. He would breathe heavily out of anxiety whenever I'm around.
submitted by MelancholyBean to AsianParentStories [link] [comments]
There could be a few reasons why he didn't tell me. Maybe my Grandpa told him he hates me and don't want me around; my Dad knows I don't care for my Grandpa because of how differently me treated me and how he treated my late older brother; or my Dad is ashamed of me because I haven't worked in a year.
I overheard my Mum saying to my Dad that they should tell me about the funeral, but my Dad refused. If I hadn't asked my Mum about the wake and funeral my parents would have went without saying anything to me. I attended and during the wake my Dad asked one of my cousins to take a family photo of my parents, me, my brother and his wife. I was thinking how fake he is. Also one of my other cousin suffered a stroke driving to the airport to attend the funeral. Since that cousin visited two weeks beforehand and told me her plans I knew that she was working in a rural area interstate. I told an Aunty about this and she mentioned it to a few Aunties and Uncles. Then my Dad went up to me and asked about it, looking at me normally. Whereas our dynamic is extremely awkward and at home we avoid looking at each other. He would breathe heavily out of anxiety whenever I'm around.
2023.03.21 06:41 anonymous_user_28 Happy fucking birthday
So my birthday was on the 15th and I decided to spend the morning with my father and then have dinner with my mom. We were going to go to hibachi but my mom decided that it was getting late and she was tired because she had been working for 2 weeks straight while her boss was outta town and we would just go on the 16th. But my sister was planning to have her birthday party on the 16th and had been taking about it all week (Her birthday was on the 1st but her party kept getting pushed back.) So she got in to a screaming match with my mom and my mom got in her car and drove away. Then a little over an hour later my mom calls my sister to see if we wanted to get some food (I forgot to mention this earlier but my 2 cousins were with us.) So we decided to go to taco bell so we all get in the car and there's a bottle of rum in the back seat. I didn't think much of it because she normally has liquor in her car but as we drove it was more and more apparent that she was drunk. She was swerving and moving out for her lane literally falling asleep at the wheel my sister who was in the front seat had to keep telling my mom to pay attention. We got to the taco bell my mom pulled in to the parking lot we were supposed to go through the drive through but my mom was so out of it she had no idea what we were talking about. So my sister put my mom in the passenger seat and said she was going to drive. (My sister is 17 and doesn't have her license or permanent but she does have her driver's test soon so she has a rough idea.) At this point I'm in tears and just want to go home but my mom insisted we get food and as we were in the drive through my mom trys to get out of the car and my sister has to pull her back in. So we get our food and go home go straight to the bathroom to cry but my mom noticed and followed me in to the bathroom asking me what's wrong kept trying to walk away but she couldn't fathom that I was trying to get away from her. So I go in to the hallway and basically hid behind my sister. (As im writing this my heart goes out to my sister because I realize how much she really does for me and she is much stronger than I.) So my sister takes my mom to her room and starts to yell at her I go to the living room with my cousins. A few minutes later my mom comes in to the living room to talk to me and she tells me she took some sleeping medicine before she left and I was just like OK because I was done talking to her cause she was obviously lying so she go's to bed. My cousin rolls a blunt we smoke while high i spill my guts and admit that I have nightmares of being at my sisters funeral and. In the morning I pretend that I forgot what happened so I don't have to talk about it.
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2023.03.21 06:16 KittenDealinMama AITA for wanted my child to have my last name?
Originally posted by u/throwaway_lastname2 in AmItheAsshole on July 20, '22, updated March 14, '23
To avoid spoilers...
I had a request from u/readergirl132 to do a pink dolphin fact. Pink Dolphins are a fresh water species that thrive in the Amazon (South American) rivers and grow up to 8 ft long. While they are born gray, they get their pink color from scar tissue, after repeated tussles with other dolphins. For added fun, search up some pictures. They kind of look like a flying pig when they pop out of the water upside down ;)
Trigger Warning: Loss of a loved one
Mood Spolier: The update is sad
Original post
AITA for wanting my child to have my last name?
I (36m) and my wife (36f) have been together for 9 years and married for 7. Recently after many years of trying we are expecting the birth of a son in November (I know sometimes ultrasounds get it wrong but we are prepping for a boy). We couldn't be happier.
When we were dating we reached 3 months and we had one of those long discussions about the future, expectations and deal breakers.
One of the deal breakers for her was she did not want to live in the city and if married she would keep her last name. At the time I lived in an apartment in the city center but one of my deal breakers was I would want a partner to take my last name. I know the concept of the wife taking my last name is outdated but I love my last name and I loved the idea of passing it down to our kids (also I know my kids could change it if they wanted). I thought about it for a while and agreed only if our kids could have my last name though. As this was only a general discussion she agreed in principal and we moved on to the next topic.
Two months latter we agreed to move in together. Before looking for rentals I wanted to reiterate my feelings on the last name and chat as I would have to sell my apartment. We sat down and agreed to all the things that we discussed in the previous months. Now the last name of our child was the only thing I had not compromised on and it was so important to me that I got a scrap piece of paper (my niece had drawn a picture on the back) and got her to write down she agreed, date and sign it. I know it would not be legal it was more a symbolic gesture to show how important it was to me and I was serious.
Flash to now and we are choosing baby names and she vetoed one of my names because she said it didn't go with her last name. I was like what... we agreed that he would have my last name. She said she thought about it and thought that they should have her last name because she liked it, wanted to pass it down, and I should now change my last name to hers. I bought up the fact that this was discussed and agreed to before we moved in and that this was one thing I had been talking about from the start and I had compromised on her last name among other things. She said its outdated thinking which I agree, and she didn't want there to be confusion at things like school.
I retrieved the original fake contract in my memory box and showed her. She then said it means nothing and things change. There was no yelling I just left the house went to work (its after hours/ night atm). AITA for standing my ground on this issue? I'm not going to leave her because its not worth throwing away a 8 year relationship but I feel betrayed on a level I have never felt and am truly upset. She has messaged me and said I can come back when I've stopped being stupid.
I may be the asshole as I came up with the idea of this "contract" and my views on passing on my last name could be seen as outdated, as my kids could change it or get married themselves.
Top comments suggest a hyphenated last name. Several people took issue with her 'You can come home when you stop being stupid' comment. Most said NTA because OOP was not motivated by sexism or outdated values, they had already discussed how important this is to him, and she had agreed.
OOP updates in the comments:
[UPDATE 1]
Hi all, thanks for all the comments I am reading them all. I am still hiding out at work and told her I wont be back tonight. She said don't go to any friends and family as they don't need to know that we are fighting let alone what we are fighting about. I need some time to collect my thoughts so will sleep in the car in the work garage.
Thought I would clarify a few things:
I am defiantly not going to leave her. The betrayal hurts though and the way it was delivered was very blunt as it could have been bought up anytime over the last 8-9 years.
The contract was very informal although it is oddly specific and well written (she wrote it), it was more of a symbolic gesture to show her I was serious. I was going to throw it out but decided to keep it while cleaning up as it had a few notes she put on it about our future plans. It says:
"I GF of Address on the DD/MM/YY, being of sound mind and judgement relinquish all rights in choosing the surname of any and all children I bear with OP of Address. The before mentioned children will have the last name LAST_NAME. Signed GF"
As for other compromises, its not a competition so I don't want to go into those however moving out of the city was a big one, and there have been a few friends lost along the way. Ultimately seeing her happy is what I want.
My last name is important to me because of its history. I know you can be called something else and still have this connection, but to me seeing the name has always filled me with pride about my families past.
We talked about double-barrelled surname all those years ago and she ruled it out because our names do not join well (same first letter and last letter).
There was no yelling but things were getting heated so I decided to leave as not to escalate. As for "stupid" message she gets like that during arguments, but this time it hurt as I don't see this topic as stupid nor are my feelings.
[UPDATE 2]
Hi Everyone thankyou everyone for your comments no matter the judgement, and thankyou to everyone that reached out to me through messaging.
Firstly I was very happy in the car as it is a large 4wd that we have set up for weekend trips so it is very well suited to a good nights sleep. By the time I realised I had to sleep it was too late to contact anyone for a place to crash. The garage is not a large parking structure but an a 4 car garage as most of the parking is outdoors. So not the cold parking structure and sleeping on the back seat as people were probably thinking. Sorry I should have clarified.
As for this being a deal breaker issue at the time when we were first dating it was defiantly something that would have caused me to break off the relationship at that time. At the time I realised it was stupid of me to expect her to change her name if she wanted to keep it for same reasons as me, but I thought I could deal for the last name of our child.
I think 9 years of build-up and expectations came crashing down in that moment which caused me spiral. I am still not sure what the bigger issue is though, is it the re-neg on the deal, the way she handled it or the actual last name?
I received a message this morning asking me to come home so we can chat, so with some hesitancy I decided to go home and talk. I don't like chatting through messenger or text as you loose the ability to gauge the in the moment reaction.
So to cut a long story short and give you an anti climatic ending, she apologised for dropping the bomb on me. She said I had been carrying on soo long about the last name she did not know how to tell me and in the moment she chose to blurt it out. Apparently she has been thinking about it ever since she fell pregnant and always thought she would keep to the deal but being pregnant made her change her mind. We have allot of talking to do but in the mean time I am going to sleep in the spare room until this issues (plural) are sorted.
Will keep people updated as it has been helpful to read comments and put my thoughts somewhere. Thanks
OOP was declared Not The Asshole
Update 8 months later
I am going to give an abridged version, forgive me if it comes of unemotional & cold. Some may say I haven't dealt with all the turmoil emotionally and they would be right, I haven't had the time, its been moving from one crisis to another.
A week before her due date we were going to dinner with my work bosses. We decided to meet there; I caught an taxi from work & she was driving to the restaurant from home. On the way she was hit in the drivers side of the car by someone running a red light. In the ECU the Doctor made the choice to deliver the baby via emergency C-section in order to properly deal with her injuries. Later that night the decision was made to place her in a medical comma. The Baby was perfect but unfortunately, she passed away the next day from a brain haemorrhage. I was devastated of course but I haven't had the time for the luxury of grieving since the incident. My son needed me!
Baby was able to leave the hospital 3 days later & we both came home to an empty house. Everything was ready at home but I cant say it was easy. My family is pretty emotionally stunted so there was limited help from there and my wife was estranged from her family, so it was basically me and him. For those wondering he actually left hospital with no name as you have ~60 days to name a baby in Aus.
Before we get into the next bit a long story short my wife was estranged from her parents, they were abusive (Physically & mententally). She had not talked to them in 10+ yrs and they were not at our wedding. I have never met them but I am able to recognise them via photos.
After about 2 weeks of planning we had the funeral for my wife, I kept it simple and it was not a big event. At the funeral I saw her parents file into the room at the back. I should have thrown them out but instead I took pity and I had the usher put them in a side room with a live feed. After the funeral they waited in the line of well wishers. When they got to me I said I was sorry they lost a daughter and it must be hard. They weren't even worried about that, instead they began asking questions about the baby. I answered a couple and then asked my sister to take my son away to another room as I was beginning to get some weird vibes. While my sister was walking away they began to get irate demanding access to the baby. Fortunately friends and ushers were able to remove them without further incident and they left the venue.
I stayed in a hotel that night as I didn't want to return to the house after the funeral. The next day returning home they were there waiting. I managed to park in the garage & after putting baby down in his room I spoke to them through the security door. Long story short they once again demanded access to the baby. They said given the "circumstances" it would be best if they raised him now, they then told me they were going to sue for custody & left. Over the coming days they approached me at home and in public several times and while they weren't violent they gave me a feeling of total dread every time I talked to them. They wanted to take my son.
My wife always made it clear to me she never wanted them to meet the baby, on any circumstances, given her childhood. Honestly I wrestled with just letting them see him in a supervised capacity but in the end I decided to follow her wishes so I spoke to my lawyer over the next days. She said they had a good chance of some visitation as they were now the only connection to her family. Australian courts believe it is best for a child's sense of identity to know all parts of their family and it falls under grandparents rights as well. I asked about their past abuses against my wife but these could not be proved thus could not be used in court. One way to get around it though is to move far away as a a judge would not enforce visitation between states.
So acting on this information and I think also the need for a new start, I put the house up for rent, transferred by job to the office across the country, piled all our stuff into a sea container and left. The house was rented out after the first home open due to the rental crisis. I decided to dive across the country and it honestly allowed me to get my head right. I still haven't dealt with the loss properly but I can say the trip allowed me to be alone with my thoughts and appreciate my new boy. For now we have been staying in a motel apartment & will be moving into a rental house soon. Once there our stuff will be delivered & we can get settled. I haven't started work yet as I had long service leave for when the baby arrived, and I will be interviewing live in au pairs over the coming days.
So as for the name: In my original post my wife had gone back on a agreement to give the baby my last name. To solve the stalemate we were in I agreed to give him her last name, I didn't really have a choice as its her decision anyway legally. So after she passed I wrestled with this decision for weeks but in the end I decided to give my son my last name. I did this for a number of reasons including it was the original agreement, her parents were horrible and I wanted my life to be simple moving forwards instead of having to explain why we have different last names.
So for the other names the first name it was a DS9 character, and my wife's grandfather as a middle name (she loved him). My wife and I chose these 2 names together.
I know we have a long road ahead and I have therapy booked for next month but I feel like I am slowly making a little progress. I have a few friends in the new city so I am not totally alone here but my son is my focus now and I will treasure him every day.
Any advice/ comments would be good to read as I haven't had much time or anyone to tell this to.
If you'd like to leave advice for OOP, please do so in the comments here. I will let him know I have shared his posts here
I feel compelled to add, we have some Australians in the comments saying that this is not the way the law works there.
Reminder, DO NOT comment on the original posts or contact the original poster. I am not the original poster. This is a repost.
submitted by KittenDealinMama to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
To avoid spoilers...
I had a request from u/readergirl132 to do a pink dolphin fact. Pink Dolphins are a fresh water species that thrive in the Amazon (South American) rivers and grow up to 8 ft long. While they are born gray, they get their pink color from scar tissue, after repeated tussles with other dolphins. For added fun, search up some pictures. They kind of look like a flying pig when they pop out of the water upside down ;)
Trigger Warning: Loss of a loved one
Mood Spolier: The update is sad
Original post
AITA for wanting my child to have my last name?
I (36m) and my wife (36f) have been together for 9 years and married for 7. Recently after many years of trying we are expecting the birth of a son in November (I know sometimes ultrasounds get it wrong but we are prepping for a boy). We couldn't be happier.
When we were dating we reached 3 months and we had one of those long discussions about the future, expectations and deal breakers.
One of the deal breakers for her was she did not want to live in the city and if married she would keep her last name. At the time I lived in an apartment in the city center but one of my deal breakers was I would want a partner to take my last name. I know the concept of the wife taking my last name is outdated but I love my last name and I loved the idea of passing it down to our kids (also I know my kids could change it if they wanted). I thought about it for a while and agreed only if our kids could have my last name though. As this was only a general discussion she agreed in principal and we moved on to the next topic.
Two months latter we agreed to move in together. Before looking for rentals I wanted to reiterate my feelings on the last name and chat as I would have to sell my apartment. We sat down and agreed to all the things that we discussed in the previous months. Now the last name of our child was the only thing I had not compromised on and it was so important to me that I got a scrap piece of paper (my niece had drawn a picture on the back) and got her to write down she agreed, date and sign it. I know it would not be legal it was more a symbolic gesture to show how important it was to me and I was serious.
Flash to now and we are choosing baby names and she vetoed one of my names because she said it didn't go with her last name. I was like what... we agreed that he would have my last name. She said she thought about it and thought that they should have her last name because she liked it, wanted to pass it down, and I should now change my last name to hers. I bought up the fact that this was discussed and agreed to before we moved in and that this was one thing I had been talking about from the start and I had compromised on her last name among other things. She said its outdated thinking which I agree, and she didn't want there to be confusion at things like school.
I retrieved the original fake contract in my memory box and showed her. She then said it means nothing and things change. There was no yelling I just left the house went to work (its after hours/ night atm). AITA for standing my ground on this issue? I'm not going to leave her because its not worth throwing away a 8 year relationship but I feel betrayed on a level I have never felt and am truly upset. She has messaged me and said I can come back when I've stopped being stupid.
I may be the asshole as I came up with the idea of this "contract" and my views on passing on my last name could be seen as outdated, as my kids could change it or get married themselves.
Top comments suggest a hyphenated last name. Several people took issue with her 'You can come home when you stop being stupid' comment. Most said NTA because OOP was not motivated by sexism or outdated values, they had already discussed how important this is to him, and she had agreed.
OOP updates in the comments:
[UPDATE 1]
Hi all, thanks for all the comments I am reading them all. I am still hiding out at work and told her I wont be back tonight. She said don't go to any friends and family as they don't need to know that we are fighting let alone what we are fighting about. I need some time to collect my thoughts so will sleep in the car in the work garage.
Thought I would clarify a few things:
I am defiantly not going to leave her. The betrayal hurts though and the way it was delivered was very blunt as it could have been bought up anytime over the last 8-9 years.
The contract was very informal although it is oddly specific and well written (she wrote it), it was more of a symbolic gesture to show her I was serious. I was going to throw it out but decided to keep it while cleaning up as it had a few notes she put on it about our future plans. It says:
"I GF of Address on the DD/MM/YY, being of sound mind and judgement relinquish all rights in choosing the surname of any and all children I bear with OP of Address. The before mentioned children will have the last name LAST_NAME. Signed GF"
As for other compromises, its not a competition so I don't want to go into those however moving out of the city was a big one, and there have been a few friends lost along the way. Ultimately seeing her happy is what I want.
My last name is important to me because of its history. I know you can be called something else and still have this connection, but to me seeing the name has always filled me with pride about my families past.
We talked about double-barrelled surname all those years ago and she ruled it out because our names do not join well (same first letter and last letter).
There was no yelling but things were getting heated so I decided to leave as not to escalate. As for "stupid" message she gets like that during arguments, but this time it hurt as I don't see this topic as stupid nor are my feelings.
[UPDATE 2]
Hi Everyone thankyou everyone for your comments no matter the judgement, and thankyou to everyone that reached out to me through messaging.
Firstly I was very happy in the car as it is a large 4wd that we have set up for weekend trips so it is very well suited to a good nights sleep. By the time I realised I had to sleep it was too late to contact anyone for a place to crash. The garage is not a large parking structure but an a 4 car garage as most of the parking is outdoors. So not the cold parking structure and sleeping on the back seat as people were probably thinking. Sorry I should have clarified.
As for this being a deal breaker issue at the time when we were first dating it was defiantly something that would have caused me to break off the relationship at that time. At the time I realised it was stupid of me to expect her to change her name if she wanted to keep it for same reasons as me, but I thought I could deal for the last name of our child.
I think 9 years of build-up and expectations came crashing down in that moment which caused me spiral. I am still not sure what the bigger issue is though, is it the re-neg on the deal, the way she handled it or the actual last name?
I received a message this morning asking me to come home so we can chat, so with some hesitancy I decided to go home and talk. I don't like chatting through messenger or text as you loose the ability to gauge the in the moment reaction.
So to cut a long story short and give you an anti climatic ending, she apologised for dropping the bomb on me. She said I had been carrying on soo long about the last name she did not know how to tell me and in the moment she chose to blurt it out. Apparently she has been thinking about it ever since she fell pregnant and always thought she would keep to the deal but being pregnant made her change her mind. We have allot of talking to do but in the mean time I am going to sleep in the spare room until this issues (plural) are sorted.
Will keep people updated as it has been helpful to read comments and put my thoughts somewhere. Thanks
OOP was declared Not The Asshole
Update 8 months later
I am going to give an abridged version, forgive me if it comes of unemotional & cold. Some may say I haven't dealt with all the turmoil emotionally and they would be right, I haven't had the time, its been moving from one crisis to another.
A week before her due date we were going to dinner with my work bosses. We decided to meet there; I caught an taxi from work & she was driving to the restaurant from home. On the way she was hit in the drivers side of the car by someone running a red light. In the ECU the Doctor made the choice to deliver the baby via emergency C-section in order to properly deal with her injuries. Later that night the decision was made to place her in a medical comma. The Baby was perfect but unfortunately, she passed away the next day from a brain haemorrhage. I was devastated of course but I haven't had the time for the luxury of grieving since the incident. My son needed me!
Baby was able to leave the hospital 3 days later & we both came home to an empty house. Everything was ready at home but I cant say it was easy. My family is pretty emotionally stunted so there was limited help from there and my wife was estranged from her family, so it was basically me and him. For those wondering he actually left hospital with no name as you have ~60 days to name a baby in Aus.
Before we get into the next bit a long story short my wife was estranged from her parents, they were abusive (Physically & mententally). She had not talked to them in 10+ yrs and they were not at our wedding. I have never met them but I am able to recognise them via photos.
After about 2 weeks of planning we had the funeral for my wife, I kept it simple and it was not a big event. At the funeral I saw her parents file into the room at the back. I should have thrown them out but instead I took pity and I had the usher put them in a side room with a live feed. After the funeral they waited in the line of well wishers. When they got to me I said I was sorry they lost a daughter and it must be hard. They weren't even worried about that, instead they began asking questions about the baby. I answered a couple and then asked my sister to take my son away to another room as I was beginning to get some weird vibes. While my sister was walking away they began to get irate demanding access to the baby. Fortunately friends and ushers were able to remove them without further incident and they left the venue.
I stayed in a hotel that night as I didn't want to return to the house after the funeral. The next day returning home they were there waiting. I managed to park in the garage & after putting baby down in his room I spoke to them through the security door. Long story short they once again demanded access to the baby. They said given the "circumstances" it would be best if they raised him now, they then told me they were going to sue for custody & left. Over the coming days they approached me at home and in public several times and while they weren't violent they gave me a feeling of total dread every time I talked to them. They wanted to take my son.
My wife always made it clear to me she never wanted them to meet the baby, on any circumstances, given her childhood. Honestly I wrestled with just letting them see him in a supervised capacity but in the end I decided to follow her wishes so I spoke to my lawyer over the next days. She said they had a good chance of some visitation as they were now the only connection to her family. Australian courts believe it is best for a child's sense of identity to know all parts of their family and it falls under grandparents rights as well. I asked about their past abuses against my wife but these could not be proved thus could not be used in court. One way to get around it though is to move far away as a a judge would not enforce visitation between states.
So acting on this information and I think also the need for a new start, I put the house up for rent, transferred by job to the office across the country, piled all our stuff into a sea container and left. The house was rented out after the first home open due to the rental crisis. I decided to dive across the country and it honestly allowed me to get my head right. I still haven't dealt with the loss properly but I can say the trip allowed me to be alone with my thoughts and appreciate my new boy. For now we have been staying in a motel apartment & will be moving into a rental house soon. Once there our stuff will be delivered & we can get settled. I haven't started work yet as I had long service leave for when the baby arrived, and I will be interviewing live in au pairs over the coming days.
So as for the name: In my original post my wife had gone back on a agreement to give the baby my last name. To solve the stalemate we were in I agreed to give him her last name, I didn't really have a choice as its her decision anyway legally. So after she passed I wrestled with this decision for weeks but in the end I decided to give my son my last name. I did this for a number of reasons including it was the original agreement, her parents were horrible and I wanted my life to be simple moving forwards instead of having to explain why we have different last names.
So for the other names the first name it was a DS9 character, and my wife's grandfather as a middle name (she loved him). My wife and I chose these 2 names together.
I know we have a long road ahead and I have therapy booked for next month but I feel like I am slowly making a little progress. I have a few friends in the new city so I am not totally alone here but my son is my focus now and I will treasure him every day.
Any advice/ comments would be good to read as I haven't had much time or anyone to tell this to.
If you'd like to leave advice for OOP, please do so in the comments here. I will let him know I have shared his posts here
I feel compelled to add, we have some Australians in the comments saying that this is not the way the law works there.
Reminder, DO NOT comment on the original posts or contact the original poster. I am not the original poster. This is a repost.
2023.03.21 06:14 c0wgirlfromhell funeral attire etiquette?
I have a funeral service for a close family friend. I already plan on a dark, modest, simple dress with little to no adorning. But, i’m conflicted about makeup because my normal makeup includes a pale face and large eyeshadow. I don’t feel all that comfortable abandoning makeup altogether or doing “regular” makeup, but I also want to make sure I am being respectful and not drawing too much attention to myself. Is there a balance? Should I make the eyeshadow smaller or tone it down? Or is it more appropriate to just leave my preferred style at home for the day?
submitted by c0wgirlfromhell to GothFashion [link] [comments]
2023.03.21 04:46 BubbleFerret I made a gothic castle! (CC)
 | So in my Not So Berry legacy, my Berry family heirs are great friends with the Vatore siblings. Especially my rose gen heir, Caleb was his first romance on that wild serial romantic path he went down. I decided then that the Vatores would watch over each generation, and would care for the departed. There's multiple places for graves and urns, and there's even a special crypt for the heirs specifically. submitted by BubbleFerret to Sims4 [link] [comments] I had so much fun building this. It's a castle, it's got a little chapel, the vampire home part of the build is hidden behind those fancy Vampires doors that only have handles on one side... I'm both sad and excited to fill up those spaces in the crypts with my sims. This build uses so many packs O_o and for that I apologize. But I built this for me. All the CC used is from Felixandre, HeyHarrie, and House of Harlix. EP: HSY, CL, SE, EL, DU, GF, C&D, CL, GT, GtW GP: Werewolves, MWS, RoM, SV, JA, Vampires, DO SP: Paranormal, LD, VG, RG, LP Kits: PP, DL, BR Yes it is on the gallery! My id is BubbleFerret, you'll have to filter to show custom content. It's listed as Castello del Vatore https://preview.redd.it/eus925t9e0pa1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=bfa7df65852fbaa8e5c05e77c02f389962dd1295 It felt so nice being able to put a pipe organ here more seating upstairs, and a little lounge for folks to have a drink or play a game https://preview.redd.it/a83v95t9e0pa1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=74614bacd37fc07da3514c860498e2a82bec5590 small viewing room the overgrown funeral chapel crypt the berry crypt gee, I wonder who could possibly sleep in these? This is indeed also a residence, and residences gotta have things like a dining room (kitchen not pictured) The entrance to the residence side of the castle is on the second floor. Back door is down in the crypt. The unused bedroom Massive library on the main floor Owner's suite, and behind the fireplace is a staircase leading down to the Vatore's crypt I just liked the idea of having a fancy bathtub 4th floor office 3rd floor bedroom, bathroom, sitting room 2nd floor dining and kitchen for the residence, upper lounge for the chapel 1st floor owner's suite for the residence, main room and public bathroom for the chapel the crypts |
2023.03.21 04:44 Saint_Circa My Friend Went Missing Because Of Me . . .
“She’s a witch.”
“I think you said bitch wrong.”
It’s hard to laugh when you’re exhausted, but Marti was never not able to get one out of us. Between panted breaths we laughed. Tommy’s face growing red with anger and embarrassment at the joke at his expense.
“I’m serious!” He managed to blurt when the laughter finally died down enough to get a word in.
“So am I!”
Again, laughter erupted from the bottom of our thirteen year old hearts once more breaking the silence of the forest we were supposed to be hiding in if by chance the cops were actually called as a result of our impromptu prank just a few minutes prior.
Living in a small town meant a lot of boredom. Some kids had big problems like gang violence and drive-by shootings, drugs, and crippling poverty, and even though those problems existed for your typical small town Ohio kids, at least to some extent. Our biggest problem was always boredom.
As a matter of fact, every problem that every small town had ever had could probably be traced back to boredom in one way or another. Why is that guy doing heroin behind a Walmart? Because once upon a time he was sixteen and bored, so he stole some of grandmas pills. Why did the schools football teams locker building get burned down? Because some kid was bored and decided to ruin the football team’s stuff. Why are there a bunch of kids laughing in the middle of the forest just outside of town? Same reason, they were bored and decided to ding dong ditch the senile old lady down the street.
If I’d had known for half a second . . . If I’d even had a hint of foresight about how everything would’ve turned out for us then I’d have suggested something else. Anything else, but hindsight’s 20/20. Especially for young kids.
“Guys, I’m freakin serious. Okay?” Tommy doubled down. His fists now balled up. His voice breaking a little bit with the overwhelming irritability at the laughter. “Anyone who’s ever messed with Ms. Abernanthy has been cursed.”
“Come on man.” I said trying to diffuse Tommy’s anger a little bit. “There’s a lot of places in this world, beautiful places! Jamacia, Hawaii, Switzerland. All sorts of places a powerful witch could have a good ass life, and you think there’s one living in that little brown double wide on Sycamore street? In London Ohio?”
A few more chuckles amongst the group of friends before Tommy finally resigned his argument with an exasperated sigh. As we came around from our fits of laughter and jokes we began to realize that the sun was setting.
“Wow, what a surprise.” Charlie spoke up. “No one cares that their doorbell got rang! Looks like our outlaw days are done y’alls. Just in time for dinner too. Convenient full pardons are convenient!”
“No doubt.” I responded as the group made their way out of the forest and began to cut across the large meadow towards town. “Marti, you eating with us tonight? Dad says it’s fine.”
“Appreciate it dude, but mom says we’ve got plans tonight. We’ll steal your dads Marlboros some other time okay?”
More laughter as the friend group split ways and headed home . . .
Ding
Dong
Diiing Doong
At first when I heard the doorbell ring, I just sort of brushed it off. I’d thought that maybe it was just some part of a dream I’d been having or something. Even in my almost full sleep state I knew that no one in their right mind would be ringing our doorbell at three in the morning. As I adjusted my pillow and threw my head back down on it though I heard it again. Resonating throughout the otherwise silent house in a way that was almost maliciously haunting given the time of night.
Ding
Dong
Diing Doong
It hadn’t been my imagination. There was someone at the door. Before I could even get up however, I heard the gruff and commanding voice of my father as his heavy footsteps stammered groggily past my room.
“I swear to Christ if that’s one of your goofy friends.” He mumbled to himself as he staggered past my room in his barely lucid state.
Several moments later I heard the front door open. Followed by my father shouting in surprise as several loud bangs and clashes filled the house with a chaotic cacophony of sound.
I ran out as quickly as I could towards the front room of the house to see my fathers silhouette fumbling for the light switch. As he turned it on, and my eyes adjusted to the sudden flash of light. I could see that he was intently scanning the front room. His bright green eyes bouncing back and forth like a radar scanner. Laying on the ground around him was a broken ash tray and several books that must’ve gotten knocked off of the shelf they’d previously been resting on.
“What happened dad?”
Quickly he put his finger out in a sort of ‘stop talking’ gesture as his eyes remained transfixed on the room around him. After a few moments of nerve wracking silence, he finally responded.
“There’s a bat somewhere. Flew in when I opened the door.”
“Who rang the doorbell?”
As if remembering what it was the led us to the front room in the middle of the night in the first place my dad looked back over his shoulder to the wide open front door, and the dimly lit street beyond it. He peaked his head over the threshold and looked around for a moment before closing it.
“No one . . . Some kids ding dong ditching maybe. Crazy ass teenagers, when do you guys even sleep nowadays?”
I laughed quietly at dad’s remark before looking around the front room to try and spot the bat.
“You’d think it’d be freaking out or something you know? Like, fluttering around and trying to find a way out?”
“Yeah . . . You’d think.”
A thorough search of the front room gradually turned into a thorough search of the entire house, but aside from the fallen books and ash tray in the front room there was nothing amiss. Just another normal small-town house in its small town neighborhood. Finally after about an hour and a half of searching my dad threw his arms up in defeat.
“Screw it, guess he’s staying. I gotta get ready for work anyways. Go back to bed kid, we’ll find it tomorrow. No one ever got killed by a stray bat.”
Although I wasn’t necessarily comfortable with the idea of sharing a house with a wild animal for the night. I knew he was right. It was almost four thirty in the morning now, and I was tired. Besides, if it’s afraid then it’ll probably just hide, and they sleep during the day so it shouldn’t be a huge issue . . . Hopefully.
“Alright, night dad. Have a good day at work.”
“Yeah. . . .”
Ding
Dong
Diing
Donng
I had just slipped into that sort of half realm between awake and asleep when I was abruptly brought back to consciousness by the doorbell ringing again. The red digital illumination of my alarm clock read 6:33am. I sighed to myself in annoyance and frustration as I turned over on my back to prepare to pull myself out of bed once again to try and discover who was ringing our doorbell again, and that’s when I saw her.
Suspended from the ceiling upside down was the darkened shadow of a person. Long tangled hair draped low and messy, almost touching the floor. From within the tangled mess of hair were two bright yellow eyes that burned through me like fire. As I screamed and clambered my way to the headboard of my bed to try and pathetically create some distance between myself and this horrible thing in my room the figure reached its arms out in a sort of ‘crucifix’ posture. From the aurora of its terrible yellow eyes I could see a wide mouth full of sharp teeth. I screamed again at the top of my lungs as the room filled itself with the mind numbing sound of the doorbell coming from the figures wide open mouth.
DIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG
DOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGG
DDIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGG
DDDOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGGGG
DIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGG
DOOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGGGG
As the deafening noise trembled every ounce of my being the figure contorted its way off of the ceiling and plopped onto my bed in an awful and grotesque fashion. Even in my panicked state I couldn’t understand how it could’ve moved the way it did without breaking its neck and spine.
I tried to make a jump from my bed to the door, but I wasn’t quick enough. I got to the edge of the bed before I felt a tremendous weight pin me back on to the mattress and hold me down. Sitting on my chest was the figure. Those horrible eyes burrowing into my soul. That wicked mouth hanging open as if it were going to swallow me whole.
She’s a witch.
The memory of Tommy’s voice echoed in my head.
I don’t know what came over me. I don’t know if it was just the fear, and Tommy being the only name on my mind in that moment. I don’t know if I’m just a selfish coward. I just . . . Don’t know, but as that god awful thing sat on top of me. As her mouth and those evil yellow eyes drew closer and closer to my face I shouted at the top of my fear fueled lungs.
“IT WAS TOMMY! IT WAS TOMMY! HE RANG YOUR DOORBELL! IT WAS TOMMY! PLEASE!”
Suddenly, with no warning, and no possible way of occurring. The weight was off of my chest, and the figure was gone.
I don’t know how I managed to fall back asleep, maybe it was just the adrenaline dump that knocked me out, but before I knew it I was waking up to the image of my sun filled room.
After a lot of talking to myself. I had barely managed to convince myself that last nights events were just the result of a horrible dream. I had read somewhere that waking up in the middle of the night and then going back to sleep could result in very lucid dreams. That, I decided. Was what caused that awful dream.
Ding
Dong
Diiing
Doong.
I felt an anchor drop into my stomach as the doorbell rang. Slowly I made my way to the front door and with a lot of hesitation finally managed to open it.
Standing at the other side of the door was Tommy’s mom. A look of obvious concern on her face.
“Did . . . Uhm, Did Tommy by chance come to your house last night? I’ve been to everyone’s house that he knows, and no one’s seen him. I don’t understand why he would just leave the house like that. Please. If you know something, please just tell me.”
They never found Tommy. Not even the faintest glimpse of a clue. Everyone eventually stopped looking for him after about a year. Everyone but his mom, she never stopped looking. She died last year. I heard she was staring expectantly at the hospital door the entire time. Waiting for her son to come walking through . . . The police say he either ran away, or was kidnapped and killed by some vagabond who had seen us in town the day prior.
I’m the only one who truly knows what happened to him, and I’ve never been able to tell anyone that It was all my fault.
Tommy was right.
submitted by Saint_Circa to Horror_stories [link] [comments]
“I think you said bitch wrong.”
It’s hard to laugh when you’re exhausted, but Marti was never not able to get one out of us. Between panted breaths we laughed. Tommy’s face growing red with anger and embarrassment at the joke at his expense.
“I’m serious!” He managed to blurt when the laughter finally died down enough to get a word in.
“So am I!”
Again, laughter erupted from the bottom of our thirteen year old hearts once more breaking the silence of the forest we were supposed to be hiding in if by chance the cops were actually called as a result of our impromptu prank just a few minutes prior.
Living in a small town meant a lot of boredom. Some kids had big problems like gang violence and drive-by shootings, drugs, and crippling poverty, and even though those problems existed for your typical small town Ohio kids, at least to some extent. Our biggest problem was always boredom.
As a matter of fact, every problem that every small town had ever had could probably be traced back to boredom in one way or another. Why is that guy doing heroin behind a Walmart? Because once upon a time he was sixteen and bored, so he stole some of grandmas pills. Why did the schools football teams locker building get burned down? Because some kid was bored and decided to ruin the football team’s stuff. Why are there a bunch of kids laughing in the middle of the forest just outside of town? Same reason, they were bored and decided to ding dong ditch the senile old lady down the street.
If I’d had known for half a second . . . If I’d even had a hint of foresight about how everything would’ve turned out for us then I’d have suggested something else. Anything else, but hindsight’s 20/20. Especially for young kids.
“Guys, I’m freakin serious. Okay?” Tommy doubled down. His fists now balled up. His voice breaking a little bit with the overwhelming irritability at the laughter. “Anyone who’s ever messed with Ms. Abernanthy has been cursed.”
“Come on man.” I said trying to diffuse Tommy’s anger a little bit. “There’s a lot of places in this world, beautiful places! Jamacia, Hawaii, Switzerland. All sorts of places a powerful witch could have a good ass life, and you think there’s one living in that little brown double wide on Sycamore street? In London Ohio?”
A few more chuckles amongst the group of friends before Tommy finally resigned his argument with an exasperated sigh. As we came around from our fits of laughter and jokes we began to realize that the sun was setting.
“Wow, what a surprise.” Charlie spoke up. “No one cares that their doorbell got rang! Looks like our outlaw days are done y’alls. Just in time for dinner too. Convenient full pardons are convenient!”
“No doubt.” I responded as the group made their way out of the forest and began to cut across the large meadow towards town. “Marti, you eating with us tonight? Dad says it’s fine.”
“Appreciate it dude, but mom says we’ve got plans tonight. We’ll steal your dads Marlboros some other time okay?”
More laughter as the friend group split ways and headed home . . .
Ding
Dong
Diiing Doong
At first when I heard the doorbell ring, I just sort of brushed it off. I’d thought that maybe it was just some part of a dream I’d been having or something. Even in my almost full sleep state I knew that no one in their right mind would be ringing our doorbell at three in the morning. As I adjusted my pillow and threw my head back down on it though I heard it again. Resonating throughout the otherwise silent house in a way that was almost maliciously haunting given the time of night.
Ding
Dong
Diing Doong
It hadn’t been my imagination. There was someone at the door. Before I could even get up however, I heard the gruff and commanding voice of my father as his heavy footsteps stammered groggily past my room.
“I swear to Christ if that’s one of your goofy friends.” He mumbled to himself as he staggered past my room in his barely lucid state.
Several moments later I heard the front door open. Followed by my father shouting in surprise as several loud bangs and clashes filled the house with a chaotic cacophony of sound.
I ran out as quickly as I could towards the front room of the house to see my fathers silhouette fumbling for the light switch. As he turned it on, and my eyes adjusted to the sudden flash of light. I could see that he was intently scanning the front room. His bright green eyes bouncing back and forth like a radar scanner. Laying on the ground around him was a broken ash tray and several books that must’ve gotten knocked off of the shelf they’d previously been resting on.
“What happened dad?”
Quickly he put his finger out in a sort of ‘stop talking’ gesture as his eyes remained transfixed on the room around him. After a few moments of nerve wracking silence, he finally responded.
“There’s a bat somewhere. Flew in when I opened the door.”
“Who rang the doorbell?”
As if remembering what it was the led us to the front room in the middle of the night in the first place my dad looked back over his shoulder to the wide open front door, and the dimly lit street beyond it. He peaked his head over the threshold and looked around for a moment before closing it.
“No one . . . Some kids ding dong ditching maybe. Crazy ass teenagers, when do you guys even sleep nowadays?”
I laughed quietly at dad’s remark before looking around the front room to try and spot the bat.
“You’d think it’d be freaking out or something you know? Like, fluttering around and trying to find a way out?”
“Yeah . . . You’d think.”
A thorough search of the front room gradually turned into a thorough search of the entire house, but aside from the fallen books and ash tray in the front room there was nothing amiss. Just another normal small-town house in its small town neighborhood. Finally after about an hour and a half of searching my dad threw his arms up in defeat.
“Screw it, guess he’s staying. I gotta get ready for work anyways. Go back to bed kid, we’ll find it tomorrow. No one ever got killed by a stray bat.”
Although I wasn’t necessarily comfortable with the idea of sharing a house with a wild animal for the night. I knew he was right. It was almost four thirty in the morning now, and I was tired. Besides, if it’s afraid then it’ll probably just hide, and they sleep during the day so it shouldn’t be a huge issue . . . Hopefully.
“Alright, night dad. Have a good day at work.”
“Yeah. . . .”
Ding
Dong
Diing
Donng
I had just slipped into that sort of half realm between awake and asleep when I was abruptly brought back to consciousness by the doorbell ringing again. The red digital illumination of my alarm clock read 6:33am. I sighed to myself in annoyance and frustration as I turned over on my back to prepare to pull myself out of bed once again to try and discover who was ringing our doorbell again, and that’s when I saw her.
Suspended from the ceiling upside down was the darkened shadow of a person. Long tangled hair draped low and messy, almost touching the floor. From within the tangled mess of hair were two bright yellow eyes that burned through me like fire. As I screamed and clambered my way to the headboard of my bed to try and pathetically create some distance between myself and this horrible thing in my room the figure reached its arms out in a sort of ‘crucifix’ posture. From the aurora of its terrible yellow eyes I could see a wide mouth full of sharp teeth. I screamed again at the top of my lungs as the room filled itself with the mind numbing sound of the doorbell coming from the figures wide open mouth.
DIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG
DOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGG
DDIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGG
DDDOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGGGG
DIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGG
DOOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGGGG
As the deafening noise trembled every ounce of my being the figure contorted its way off of the ceiling and plopped onto my bed in an awful and grotesque fashion. Even in my panicked state I couldn’t understand how it could’ve moved the way it did without breaking its neck and spine.
I tried to make a jump from my bed to the door, but I wasn’t quick enough. I got to the edge of the bed before I felt a tremendous weight pin me back on to the mattress and hold me down. Sitting on my chest was the figure. Those horrible eyes burrowing into my soul. That wicked mouth hanging open as if it were going to swallow me whole.
She’s a witch.
The memory of Tommy’s voice echoed in my head.
I don’t know what came over me. I don’t know if it was just the fear, and Tommy being the only name on my mind in that moment. I don’t know if I’m just a selfish coward. I just . . . Don’t know, but as that god awful thing sat on top of me. As her mouth and those evil yellow eyes drew closer and closer to my face I shouted at the top of my fear fueled lungs.
“IT WAS TOMMY! IT WAS TOMMY! HE RANG YOUR DOORBELL! IT WAS TOMMY! PLEASE!”
Suddenly, with no warning, and no possible way of occurring. The weight was off of my chest, and the figure was gone.
I don’t know how I managed to fall back asleep, maybe it was just the adrenaline dump that knocked me out, but before I knew it I was waking up to the image of my sun filled room.
After a lot of talking to myself. I had barely managed to convince myself that last nights events were just the result of a horrible dream. I had read somewhere that waking up in the middle of the night and then going back to sleep could result in very lucid dreams. That, I decided. Was what caused that awful dream.
Ding
Dong
Diiing
Doong.
I felt an anchor drop into my stomach as the doorbell rang. Slowly I made my way to the front door and with a lot of hesitation finally managed to open it.
Standing at the other side of the door was Tommy’s mom. A look of obvious concern on her face.
“Did . . . Uhm, Did Tommy by chance come to your house last night? I’ve been to everyone’s house that he knows, and no one’s seen him. I don’t understand why he would just leave the house like that. Please. If you know something, please just tell me.”
They never found Tommy. Not even the faintest glimpse of a clue. Everyone eventually stopped looking for him after about a year. Everyone but his mom, she never stopped looking. She died last year. I heard she was staring expectantly at the hospital door the entire time. Waiting for her son to come walking through . . . The police say he either ran away, or was kidnapped and killed by some vagabond who had seen us in town the day prior.
I’m the only one who truly knows what happened to him, and I’ve never been able to tell anyone that It was all my fault.
Tommy was right.
2023.03.21 04:36 harry-jg Best Free VPN for Windows
The quest to find the ultimate VPN for Windows can feel like wandering through an endless digital maze filled with countless choices, each promising to be the holy grail. Fear not, my fellow Windows warriors! Embrace the fact that Windows is indeed the most popular OS, and with great popularity comes great hacker attention. And let's not forget our friends at Microsoft, who gleefully collect your data like overeager squirrels hoarding acorns (unfortunately, opting out isn't always an option).
Together with my intrepid team, we ventured through the perilous terrain of more than 200 Windows VPNs to separate the wheat from the chaff. We examined their safety, privacy prowess, speedy connections, server networks, and uncanny ability to unblock the shows you simply can't live without. Through our valiant efforts, we've distilled the essence of the top VPNs that graciously deign to work with your Windows device (compatible with Windows 7-11, no less!).
Behold, ExpressVPN emerges victorious as our champion! This digital knight in shining armor boasts robust security, a no-logging policy that's more reliable than your favorite pair of socks, lightning-fast speeds, and the power to unblock beloved streaming sites like Netflix, BBC iPlayer, Hulu, and more. Give ExpressVPN a whirl on your Windows machine without breaking a sweat, thanks to their 30-day money-back guarantee. If it doesn't tickle your fancy, you can claim a full refund and continue your search for the VPN of your dreams.
ExpressVPN
ExpressVPN is the crème de la crème of VPNs, providing a premium digital experience for your trusty Windows device. It keeps your data safe from the prying eyes of hackers, nosy governments, and other lurking cyber-creatures. A vast network of servers and fantastic unblocking abilities allow you to binge-watch your favorite streaming platforms. And with impressive speeds, say goodbye to buffering and hello to seamless browsing, gaming, and torrenting.
This cyber-superhero has a robust arsenal of security features, including military-grade 256-bit encryption, a kill switch (Network Lock), and split tunneling, offering unparalleled protection. Rest assured, your data remains secure and hidden, even when you're checking local news while simultaneously streaming your favorite international shows.
ExpressVPN ensures your privacy with IP, DNS, and WebRTC leak protection, along with its private DNS servers. After rigorous testing on a Windows 10 laptop, not a single leak was detected. Choose from four security protocols with its Windows app: OpenVPN, IKEv2, L2TP/IPSec, and the unique Lightway. Lightway emerged as the speediest protocol, connecting to even long-distance servers in a mere two seconds.
With strong privacy features and a no-logs policy, ExpressVPN is a digital guardian you can trust. It employs TrustedServer technology (RAM-only servers) that automatically wipe all previous sessions upon rebooting. Plus, it's based in the British Virgin Islands, a privacy-friendly country that is not part of the 14 Eyes Alliance, ensuring your data remains untouched.
Savor superfast connection speeds with ExpressVPN, allowing you to indulge in 4K streaming, gaming, and video chatting without a hitch. A vast server network easily bypasses geoblocks, granting you access to multiple Netflix libraries, BBC iPlayer, Disney+, Hulu, HBO Max, and more, even in restrictive countries like China and the UAE.
Torrenting fans, rejoice! ExpressVPN supports torrenting on all 3,000 of its servers, offering unlimited data and speedy downloads. And with its user-friendly Windows app, you can secure your connection with a single click, save your favorite servers, and let the Smart Location feature find the fastest server for you. It's never been easier to enjoy the digital utopia ExpressVPN provides for your Windows device.
CyberGhost VPN
Enter the realm of CyberGhost, a Windows app so intuitive and user-friendly, you'll wonder how you ever managed without it. Perfect for unblocking your favorite streaming sites, CyberGhost's servers are meticulously organized by platform and country, guiding you effortlessly to the server you desire. During my spectral journey, I connected to its Hulu-optimized server (US-based) and was instantly granted access to a treasure trove of entertainment. Netflix, BBC iPlayer, and Disney+ also succumbed to the supernatural powers of CyberGhost, all without slowdowns or connectivity hiccups.
Fear not, gaming and torrenting aficionados! CyberGhost's specialized servers ensure you'll be downloading files and racking up high scores faster than a speeding phantom. The US torrenting server outpaced regular servers by 8%, while the gaming server made selecting low-ping servers a breeze. As I battled my way through StarCraft 2, my ping remained a mere 29 ms, keeping my inputs as swift and responsive as a ghostly apparition.
With CyberGhost, you'll revel in remarkable speeds, ensuring a buttery-smooth streaming experience. Testing multiple locations on a Windows PC, average speeds never dipped below 40 Mbps. Effortlessly enjoy Don’t Look Up on Netflix US in full HD without a hint of lag.
CyberGhost's potent security and privacy features shield your Windows PC like an impenetrable fortress. AES 256-bit military-grade encryption, leak protection, and a kill switch keep your data under lock and key. Embrace the built-in ad and malware blocker to fend off malicious content while banishing annoying ads. Based in Romania (outside the 5/9/14-Eyes' jurisdiction) and boasting a robust no-logs policy, CyberGhost's NoSpy servers offer an extra layer of security, ensuring your digital journey remains delightfully undisturbed.
Private Internet Access
Enter the digital stronghold of Private Internet Access (PIA), where MACE awaits to shield your Windows machine from menacing ads and malicious content. During my test, I ventured into the ad-riddled realm of Forbes on a Windows 10 PC, and PIA's MACE valiantly fended off most ads. The ensuing reduced load times made for a more enjoyable and secure browsing experience.
PIA's robust security features stand guard over your online privacy across all Windows devices. The automatic kill switch acts as a digital portcullis, thwarting any internet traffic should the VPN connection falter. Coupled with AES 256-bit encryption and a perfect record in my leak tests, PIA ensures you can browse with confidence, free from data leaks and hacker interference.
A vast server network makes PIA your trusty ally in bypassing geo-restricted content. My Windows 10 PC successfully unblocked multiple streaming platforms, including six Netflix libraries, Disney+, and BBC iPlayer. With a few tweaks, even Hulu succumbed to PIA's prowess.
PIA's speeds are more than sufficient for gaming, streaming, and torrenting on your Windows device. Testing nine diverse locations revealed an average speed of 33 Mbps – not quite ExpressVPN velocity, but still formidable. Downloading a 3GB torrent file took a mere 12 minutes.
Although PIA's US headquarters initially raised eyebrows (given its position at the heart of the 14 Eyes Alliance), its stringent no-logs policy – proven in court – allayed any lingering concerns. With no data recorded, PIA has nothing to share, even if faced with prying requests.
So, let Private Internet Access be your Windows device's stalwart protector, safeguarding your digital world with its steadfast security and unwavering commitment to privacy.
NordVPN
In the digital kingdom of Windows, NordVPN emerges as the noble warrior, optimizing P2P servers for your torrenting needs. With speeds swift as lightning and minimal drops from baseline connections, your Windows device will feast on large data transfers without breaking a sweat. My 1.07GB Abilene Town download from The Pirate Bay materialized in a mere 2.5 minutes.
NordVPN's Windows app bristles with formidable security features, from 256-bit encryption and leak protection to a vigilant kill switch. The Double VPN feature routes your traffic through two servers, encrypting your data not once, but twice—leaving cybercriminals flummoxed.
The RAM-only servers and strict no-logs policy keep your online exploits shrouded in secrecy, while Panama's privacy-friendly environment, devoid of data retention laws, provides the perfect backdrop for NordVPN's commitment to privacy.
Experience an ad-free digital landscape with NordVPN's Threat Protection feature, vanquishing ads and malicious sites alike. Your browsing adventures on Windows will be smoother and more secure.
Unleash the full potential of your streaming experience with NordVPN's dependable server network. My Windows 11 laptop effortlessly accessed Netflix US, Hulu, Disney+, and HBO Max through NordVPN's New York server.
The only hiccup? The Windows app interface, with its slightly cumbersome World Map, could use a touch of finesse. But fear not, for the trusty drop-down server list in the sidebar comes to the rescue.
Embark on the NordVPN journey for a mere $3.49/month with its long-term plan, a veritable bargain compared to its monthly option. Each plan is backed by a 30-day money-back guarantee, so rest easy knowing you can test the waters and request a refund with minimal hassle. My own refund request via 24/7 live chat was approved in minutes, and the funds returned within four days.
Join the ranks of the digital Vikings with NordVPN, your staunch ally in the world of Windows torrenting, streaming, and privacy.
SurfsharkVPN
Surfshark's NoBorders feature conjures an aura of VPN invisibility, allowing you to effortlessly bypass VPN blockades and stubborn firewalls set by schools, workplaces, and overbearing governments. It unveils the "entire" internet, even in countries where online content is held hostage by censorship.
The best part? This magical cloak activates automatically when restrictions are detected, requiring no effort on your part. But for those who crave control, there's an option to wield this power manually and conceal your VPN usage.
Fear not the cyber-threats lurking in the digital abyss; Surfshark's robust security features shield your online data. Leak protection, a kill switch, and the mysterious Rotating IP feature—which automatically changes your IP address every 10 minutes—will keep hackers floundering in confusion.
Streaming enthusiasts will delight in Surfshark's swift and steadfast server network. My Windows computer's escapades to Miami and New York servers yielded an average speed of 54.6Mbps, more than enough for 4K streaming. I binged Kaleidoscope on Netflix US in full HD and breached the gates of Disney+ and Hulu.
The user-friendly Windows app is a breeze to set up, even for VPN novices. Five minutes was all it took to download and install, and the quick-connect feature guided me to the fastest available server. Favorites can be bookmarked, granting speedy access to preferred server locations.
The only thorn in Surfshark's fin is its home in the Netherlands. While privacy-friendly laws govern the land, it remains within the 14 Eyes alliance. This means the government could potentially coerce the company into sharing user data. Yet, Surfshark stands strong, boasting an audited server infrastructure and a commitment to storing no data.
Set sail with Surfshark and explore the boundless digital ocean with unmatched stealth, security, and streaming prowess.
PrivateVPN
PrivateVPN's Windows app is so uncomplicated that even your technophobe grandma could master it. With two interface settings, Simple and Advanced, users can tailor their VPN experience. The Simple View does the heavy lifting, selecting the best security protocol, while the Advanced View unveils an array of customizable settings, like switching protocols and encryption levels.
Fiddle with these settings, and you might find yourself zipping through the digital universe. I switched from 256-bit to 128-bit encryption and saw an 8% uptick in download speeds. Customize your Windows connection to suit your online desires.
PrivateVPN's Stealth Mode is a cloak of digital invisibility, perfect for slipping past pesky internet restrictions and impenetrable firewalls. Much like Surfshark, it employs obfuscation to shroud VPN usage, granting access to forbidden realms like China. A test run on my public library's WiFi led me straight to a torrent site, which loaded without a hitch on my Windows laptop.
Enhance your online transaction security with the Windows app's kill switch, encryption, and leak protection, shielding you from digital ne'er-do-wells.
Speed demons rejoice, as PrivateVPN's speedy connections support HD streaming and torrenting. My tests revealed average speeds of 24 Mbps on Manchester, Phoenix, and Japan servers. While 4K streaming may occasionally stutter, HD Netflix marathons will proceed without a hitch. Dedicated IP/torrenting servers enable lightning-fast downloads on your Windows 10 PC.
A sprawling server network provides access to Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, and Hulu. Alas, BBC iPlayer remains elusive.
Embrace PrivateVPN's Windows app for a secure, versatile, and straightforward digital journey.
A Handy Checklist for Choosing Your Perfect VPN Sidekick
When navigating the sea of VPN options for Windows, look no further than this trusty checklist. The VPNs mentioned above meet these criteria, but if you're feeling adventurous, use these metrics to evaluate potential VPN sidekicks:
Fortified Security: Look for a VPN with an arsenal of security features, including strong encryption, an automatic kill switch, a strict no-logs policy, and DNS/IP leak protection. Keep your data safe from snooping third parties.
Compatibility with the Latest Windows Versions: Opt for a VPN that stays current with Windows updates, ensuring seamless compatibility with Windows 7 through 11.
Swift Speeds: Fast speeds equal lag-free gaming and HD streaming. Recommended VPNs should boast average speeds of at least 20 Mbps (four times the HD streaming requirement and twice the online gaming necessity).
Expansive Server Network: A larger server network means less congestion and faster connections. Plus, you're more likely to find a nearby server (usually faster).
Stellar Streaming Support: The best VPNs consistently unblock streaming sites like Netflix, allowing you to access content from home, even when globetrotting. Top VPNs unblock multiple platforms, including Netflix, Disney+, APV, and BBC iPlayer.
Torrenting P2P-Friendly: For torrent enthusiasts, pick a VPN with P2P compatibility, ideally on every server or with specialized servers to accelerate download speeds.
Multiple Device Connections: The VPNs on our list offer at least five simultaneous device connections, covering all your gadgets with one subscription.
Dependable Support: Top-notch providers deliver 24/7 live chat support. With the VPNs on our list, you'll always find a helpful agent ready to assist.
Trustworthy Money-Back Guarantee: Stick to VPN providers with reliable money-back guarantees. Each VPN on our list has been tested to ensure a hassle-free refund process if you're unsatisfied.
submitted by harry-jg to topvpn [link] [comments]
Together with my intrepid team, we ventured through the perilous terrain of more than 200 Windows VPNs to separate the wheat from the chaff. We examined their safety, privacy prowess, speedy connections, server networks, and uncanny ability to unblock the shows you simply can't live without. Through our valiant efforts, we've distilled the essence of the top VPNs that graciously deign to work with your Windows device (compatible with Windows 7-11, no less!).
Behold, ExpressVPN emerges victorious as our champion! This digital knight in shining armor boasts robust security, a no-logging policy that's more reliable than your favorite pair of socks, lightning-fast speeds, and the power to unblock beloved streaming sites like Netflix, BBC iPlayer, Hulu, and more. Give ExpressVPN a whirl on your Windows machine without breaking a sweat, thanks to their 30-day money-back guarantee. If it doesn't tickle your fancy, you can claim a full refund and continue your search for the VPN of your dreams.
ExpressVPN
ExpressVPN is the crème de la crème of VPNs, providing a premium digital experience for your trusty Windows device. It keeps your data safe from the prying eyes of hackers, nosy governments, and other lurking cyber-creatures. A vast network of servers and fantastic unblocking abilities allow you to binge-watch your favorite streaming platforms. And with impressive speeds, say goodbye to buffering and hello to seamless browsing, gaming, and torrenting.
This cyber-superhero has a robust arsenal of security features, including military-grade 256-bit encryption, a kill switch (Network Lock), and split tunneling, offering unparalleled protection. Rest assured, your data remains secure and hidden, even when you're checking local news while simultaneously streaming your favorite international shows.
ExpressVPN ensures your privacy with IP, DNS, and WebRTC leak protection, along with its private DNS servers. After rigorous testing on a Windows 10 laptop, not a single leak was detected. Choose from four security protocols with its Windows app: OpenVPN, IKEv2, L2TP/IPSec, and the unique Lightway. Lightway emerged as the speediest protocol, connecting to even long-distance servers in a mere two seconds.
With strong privacy features and a no-logs policy, ExpressVPN is a digital guardian you can trust. It employs TrustedServer technology (RAM-only servers) that automatically wipe all previous sessions upon rebooting. Plus, it's based in the British Virgin Islands, a privacy-friendly country that is not part of the 14 Eyes Alliance, ensuring your data remains untouched.
Savor superfast connection speeds with ExpressVPN, allowing you to indulge in 4K streaming, gaming, and video chatting without a hitch. A vast server network easily bypasses geoblocks, granting you access to multiple Netflix libraries, BBC iPlayer, Disney+, Hulu, HBO Max, and more, even in restrictive countries like China and the UAE.
Torrenting fans, rejoice! ExpressVPN supports torrenting on all 3,000 of its servers, offering unlimited data and speedy downloads. And with its user-friendly Windows app, you can secure your connection with a single click, save your favorite servers, and let the Smart Location feature find the fastest server for you. It's never been easier to enjoy the digital utopia ExpressVPN provides for your Windows device.
CyberGhost VPN
Enter the realm of CyberGhost, a Windows app so intuitive and user-friendly, you'll wonder how you ever managed without it. Perfect for unblocking your favorite streaming sites, CyberGhost's servers are meticulously organized by platform and country, guiding you effortlessly to the server you desire. During my spectral journey, I connected to its Hulu-optimized server (US-based) and was instantly granted access to a treasure trove of entertainment. Netflix, BBC iPlayer, and Disney+ also succumbed to the supernatural powers of CyberGhost, all without slowdowns or connectivity hiccups.
Fear not, gaming and torrenting aficionados! CyberGhost's specialized servers ensure you'll be downloading files and racking up high scores faster than a speeding phantom. The US torrenting server outpaced regular servers by 8%, while the gaming server made selecting low-ping servers a breeze. As I battled my way through StarCraft 2, my ping remained a mere 29 ms, keeping my inputs as swift and responsive as a ghostly apparition.
With CyberGhost, you'll revel in remarkable speeds, ensuring a buttery-smooth streaming experience. Testing multiple locations on a Windows PC, average speeds never dipped below 40 Mbps. Effortlessly enjoy Don’t Look Up on Netflix US in full HD without a hint of lag.
CyberGhost's potent security and privacy features shield your Windows PC like an impenetrable fortress. AES 256-bit military-grade encryption, leak protection, and a kill switch keep your data under lock and key. Embrace the built-in ad and malware blocker to fend off malicious content while banishing annoying ads. Based in Romania (outside the 5/9/14-Eyes' jurisdiction) and boasting a robust no-logs policy, CyberGhost's NoSpy servers offer an extra layer of security, ensuring your digital journey remains delightfully undisturbed.
Private Internet Access
Enter the digital stronghold of Private Internet Access (PIA), where MACE awaits to shield your Windows machine from menacing ads and malicious content. During my test, I ventured into the ad-riddled realm of Forbes on a Windows 10 PC, and PIA's MACE valiantly fended off most ads. The ensuing reduced load times made for a more enjoyable and secure browsing experience.
PIA's robust security features stand guard over your online privacy across all Windows devices. The automatic kill switch acts as a digital portcullis, thwarting any internet traffic should the VPN connection falter. Coupled with AES 256-bit encryption and a perfect record in my leak tests, PIA ensures you can browse with confidence, free from data leaks and hacker interference.
A vast server network makes PIA your trusty ally in bypassing geo-restricted content. My Windows 10 PC successfully unblocked multiple streaming platforms, including six Netflix libraries, Disney+, and BBC iPlayer. With a few tweaks, even Hulu succumbed to PIA's prowess.
PIA's speeds are more than sufficient for gaming, streaming, and torrenting on your Windows device. Testing nine diverse locations revealed an average speed of 33 Mbps – not quite ExpressVPN velocity, but still formidable. Downloading a 3GB torrent file took a mere 12 minutes.
Although PIA's US headquarters initially raised eyebrows (given its position at the heart of the 14 Eyes Alliance), its stringent no-logs policy – proven in court – allayed any lingering concerns. With no data recorded, PIA has nothing to share, even if faced with prying requests.
So, let Private Internet Access be your Windows device's stalwart protector, safeguarding your digital world with its steadfast security and unwavering commitment to privacy.
NordVPN
In the digital kingdom of Windows, NordVPN emerges as the noble warrior, optimizing P2P servers for your torrenting needs. With speeds swift as lightning and minimal drops from baseline connections, your Windows device will feast on large data transfers without breaking a sweat. My 1.07GB Abilene Town download from The Pirate Bay materialized in a mere 2.5 minutes.
NordVPN's Windows app bristles with formidable security features, from 256-bit encryption and leak protection to a vigilant kill switch. The Double VPN feature routes your traffic through two servers, encrypting your data not once, but twice—leaving cybercriminals flummoxed.
The RAM-only servers and strict no-logs policy keep your online exploits shrouded in secrecy, while Panama's privacy-friendly environment, devoid of data retention laws, provides the perfect backdrop for NordVPN's commitment to privacy.
Experience an ad-free digital landscape with NordVPN's Threat Protection feature, vanquishing ads and malicious sites alike. Your browsing adventures on Windows will be smoother and more secure.
Unleash the full potential of your streaming experience with NordVPN's dependable server network. My Windows 11 laptop effortlessly accessed Netflix US, Hulu, Disney+, and HBO Max through NordVPN's New York server.
The only hiccup? The Windows app interface, with its slightly cumbersome World Map, could use a touch of finesse. But fear not, for the trusty drop-down server list in the sidebar comes to the rescue.
Embark on the NordVPN journey for a mere $3.49/month with its long-term plan, a veritable bargain compared to its monthly option. Each plan is backed by a 30-day money-back guarantee, so rest easy knowing you can test the waters and request a refund with minimal hassle. My own refund request via 24/7 live chat was approved in minutes, and the funds returned within four days.
Join the ranks of the digital Vikings with NordVPN, your staunch ally in the world of Windows torrenting, streaming, and privacy.
SurfsharkVPN
Surfshark's NoBorders feature conjures an aura of VPN invisibility, allowing you to effortlessly bypass VPN blockades and stubborn firewalls set by schools, workplaces, and overbearing governments. It unveils the "entire" internet, even in countries where online content is held hostage by censorship.
The best part? This magical cloak activates automatically when restrictions are detected, requiring no effort on your part. But for those who crave control, there's an option to wield this power manually and conceal your VPN usage.
Fear not the cyber-threats lurking in the digital abyss; Surfshark's robust security features shield your online data. Leak protection, a kill switch, and the mysterious Rotating IP feature—which automatically changes your IP address every 10 minutes—will keep hackers floundering in confusion.
Streaming enthusiasts will delight in Surfshark's swift and steadfast server network. My Windows computer's escapades to Miami and New York servers yielded an average speed of 54.6Mbps, more than enough for 4K streaming. I binged Kaleidoscope on Netflix US in full HD and breached the gates of Disney+ and Hulu.
The user-friendly Windows app is a breeze to set up, even for VPN novices. Five minutes was all it took to download and install, and the quick-connect feature guided me to the fastest available server. Favorites can be bookmarked, granting speedy access to preferred server locations.
The only thorn in Surfshark's fin is its home in the Netherlands. While privacy-friendly laws govern the land, it remains within the 14 Eyes alliance. This means the government could potentially coerce the company into sharing user data. Yet, Surfshark stands strong, boasting an audited server infrastructure and a commitment to storing no data.
Set sail with Surfshark and explore the boundless digital ocean with unmatched stealth, security, and streaming prowess.
PrivateVPN
PrivateVPN's Windows app is so uncomplicated that even your technophobe grandma could master it. With two interface settings, Simple and Advanced, users can tailor their VPN experience. The Simple View does the heavy lifting, selecting the best security protocol, while the Advanced View unveils an array of customizable settings, like switching protocols and encryption levels.
Fiddle with these settings, and you might find yourself zipping through the digital universe. I switched from 256-bit to 128-bit encryption and saw an 8% uptick in download speeds. Customize your Windows connection to suit your online desires.
PrivateVPN's Stealth Mode is a cloak of digital invisibility, perfect for slipping past pesky internet restrictions and impenetrable firewalls. Much like Surfshark, it employs obfuscation to shroud VPN usage, granting access to forbidden realms like China. A test run on my public library's WiFi led me straight to a torrent site, which loaded without a hitch on my Windows laptop.
Enhance your online transaction security with the Windows app's kill switch, encryption, and leak protection, shielding you from digital ne'er-do-wells.
Speed demons rejoice, as PrivateVPN's speedy connections support HD streaming and torrenting. My tests revealed average speeds of 24 Mbps on Manchester, Phoenix, and Japan servers. While 4K streaming may occasionally stutter, HD Netflix marathons will proceed without a hitch. Dedicated IP/torrenting servers enable lightning-fast downloads on your Windows 10 PC.
A sprawling server network provides access to Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, and Hulu. Alas, BBC iPlayer remains elusive.
Embrace PrivateVPN's Windows app for a secure, versatile, and straightforward digital journey.
A Handy Checklist for Choosing Your Perfect VPN Sidekick
When navigating the sea of VPN options for Windows, look no further than this trusty checklist. The VPNs mentioned above meet these criteria, but if you're feeling adventurous, use these metrics to evaluate potential VPN sidekicks:
Fortified Security: Look for a VPN with an arsenal of security features, including strong encryption, an automatic kill switch, a strict no-logs policy, and DNS/IP leak protection. Keep your data safe from snooping third parties.
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Stellar Streaming Support: The best VPNs consistently unblock streaming sites like Netflix, allowing you to access content from home, even when globetrotting. Top VPNs unblock multiple platforms, including Netflix, Disney+, APV, and BBC iPlayer.
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Trustworthy Money-Back Guarantee: Stick to VPN providers with reliable money-back guarantees. Each VPN on our list has been tested to ensure a hassle-free refund process if you're unsatisfied.
2023.03.21 04:30 cheapthrowaway23 AITA (M43) for refusing to go to my uncles funeral?
So my uncle (we'll call him Frank) died a few hours ago, he's the first of my dads brothers to pass away and they were close in their later years. I love my dad and we've made great strides in getting closer since mum died 2 years ago but he's understandable annoyed at me.
Long story; as a child (4yrs old) my dads youngest brother SA'ed me for a few years before I finally had the strength to tell anyone. Now, the uncle who passed away wasn't the one responsible but when my dad told Frank what was being done to me he told my dad he believed me and that he was there for my dad. Once he left our family home he ran to their mums house telling them "Cheapthrowaway23 is a liar, hes a wee shit just wanting to cause trouble. I'm 100% behind the abuser." Few days later it would emerge the abuser had done it to Franks own son Dave (who is the same age as me) as well. Which led to him apologising to my dad for his two faced behaviour. Over the years Frank would comment on how fat I was, how I looked, how my job wasn't as good as his son, his son was smarter, his son got married. Basically any chance to demean me. I'd rarely bite, usually cracking a joke about hairloss and dentures but then he'd get nastier and significantly more personal in his attacks.
When my mum died during covid Franks sons refused to go to the funeral, Dave would just say he couldn't see the point as he doesn't drive.
After the abuser was arrested and convicted (6 different children came out) I faced the blame, I was the instigator according to my dads mum (and a few of my dads brothers) and I spent a very lonely childhood trying to appease everyone for what wasn't my fault. I went to grans funeral when she died to keep my dad happy, but this, I just feel like I put up with enough. I've learnt about putting barriers and drawing lines to protect myself emotionally but I still feel like the asshole for refusing to go Franks funeral.
submitted by cheapthrowaway23 to family [link] [comments]
Long story; as a child (4yrs old) my dads youngest brother SA'ed me for a few years before I finally had the strength to tell anyone. Now, the uncle who passed away wasn't the one responsible but when my dad told Frank what was being done to me he told my dad he believed me and that he was there for my dad. Once he left our family home he ran to their mums house telling them "Cheapthrowaway23 is a liar, hes a wee shit just wanting to cause trouble. I'm 100% behind the abuser." Few days later it would emerge the abuser had done it to Franks own son Dave (who is the same age as me) as well. Which led to him apologising to my dad for his two faced behaviour. Over the years Frank would comment on how fat I was, how I looked, how my job wasn't as good as his son, his son was smarter, his son got married. Basically any chance to demean me. I'd rarely bite, usually cracking a joke about hairloss and dentures but then he'd get nastier and significantly more personal in his attacks.
When my mum died during covid Franks sons refused to go to the funeral, Dave would just say he couldn't see the point as he doesn't drive.
After the abuser was arrested and convicted (6 different children came out) I faced the blame, I was the instigator according to my dads mum (and a few of my dads brothers) and I spent a very lonely childhood trying to appease everyone for what wasn't my fault. I went to grans funeral when she died to keep my dad happy, but this, I just feel like I put up with enough. I've learnt about putting barriers and drawing lines to protect myself emotionally but I still feel like the asshole for refusing to go Franks funeral.
2023.03.21 04:12 AutoNewspaperAdmin [Local] - Suspect sought in theft of Rockford funeral home van with body inside is arrested in Green Bay Chicago Sun-Times
![[Local] - Suspect sought in theft of Rockford funeral home van with body inside is arrested in Green Bay Chicago Sun-Times](https://external-preview.redd.it/1tsn_RAQ_ZEbRdPm74qW591FSNliwTMC8KdiDNctvB0.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=6aeb9ff28e6fa7317ad9c059f585d25574cbfa68 "[Local] - Suspect sought in theft of Rockford funeral home van with body inside is arrested in Green Bay Chicago Sun-Times") | submitted by AutoNewspaperAdmin to AutoNewspaper [link] [comments] |
2023.03.21 04:08 AutoNewsAdmin [Local] - Suspect sought in theft of Rockford funeral home van with body inside is arrested in Green Bay
| | submitted by AutoNewsAdmin to CHICAGOSUNauto [link] [comments] |
2023.03.21 04:06 Beautiful_Belt156 i just wanna take a nap
a list of all the things happening in my life, since my mind won't fall asleep if I don't make a list on reddit right now.
for context, im 14. biologically female, not trans, but a he/him, they/them, it/its thing going on.
. My grandma just recently died and I forced myself to attend her funeral out of respect with a long black dress she would've gone crazy for, since i always wear shorts and a t shirt. I kept one of the flowers as a memory, it died so soon after. I feel bad for trying to "show off" at the funeral. The person who basically but not legally murdered her showed up and made a scene, and her sister had a heart attack at the sight of her in a coffin.
. My other grandma that I'm more close with is in the hospital doing surgeries and check ups and her husband has cancer. I love them both so much.
. My parents are getting rid of my birds and threatening to get rid of one of my dogs (a great dane) because of how she misbehaves. It was a joke at first, but it feels more real now with the yelling and hint of annoyance.
. The memories keep hitting back from when I almost killed my dad when he choked my mom half to death, and then the fact that they're perfectly fine now. I hate my dad so much and my mom for not kicking him out and putting me on medicine instead.
. Currently have an ear infection in both ears, it hurts. My head gets all full with pressure and I can't hear anyone. Might have surgery soon.
. Waiting until I can get a job and move out. I hate working as a 14 year old, it's hours of work for barely anything. I want to move out at 16.
. Nervous about getting into a dorm school I really like. It's about an hour away but the rate of acceptance is sorta low. I can't stay home with my parents.
. My crush is a stalker and hates me for trying to mention that it made me feel a little weird with how she talked about her crush all the time in every conversation (ex. I wanna cuddle her, wanna see a picture of her car? I have her class schedule, oh my god she likes ____ too!) and I eventually had to end up telling her if she doesn't stop, I'm calling the police.
. Not going to school tomorrow. I have to spend the whole day at the doctor's office. Probably not going to sleep today either.
. Little sisters birthday is coming up (adopted her after my grandma died. we were always close) and I don't know what to get her and I need to save.
. Everyone I meet is a pedophile.
. I have so many art commissions to finish, the thought makes my chest squeeze.
. My 12 year old (just turned 12) brother tried to make my little sister (nearly 13) give him a "footjob" in her sleep after learning what it was online. we all sleep in the same room, and my dad decided to put a wall up soon. he sleeps in the living room as of now.
. Started liking the southpark characters but I feel cringe now. They make me feel okay, kenny and butters and tweek and everybody. Nobody wants me to talk about it though. I never really get to talk about my interests. I just adapt to everyone elses
. My first attempt at suicide went unnoticed to everybody, which was good, since it was months ago, but it's weird that nobody in my family noticed the cuts, or maybe they did and it blended in with the rest of them. I haven't cut or had any weed cravings and don't think I will soon but it's weird to think about. clean streak since I was late 12 years old.
. Im always sick, always need to vent but physically and mentally can't get it out of me ever since my therapist said my feelings weren't real or valid (she was homophobic and I dressed as a boy) and another called child protective services and my parents yelled and screamed at me for hours on end.
. I just want comfort. Nothing comforts me
. I really want advice but everything I search or ask is "relax", I can't relax. It just doesn't work like that. I can't sleep. I just want someone to roleplay with and talk and match discord profile pictures and lay down. I'm so tired. I don't wanna move anymore.
submitted by Beautiful_Belt156 to offmychest [link] [comments]
for context, im 14. biologically female, not trans, but a he/him, they/them, it/its thing going on.
. My grandma just recently died and I forced myself to attend her funeral out of respect with a long black dress she would've gone crazy for, since i always wear shorts and a t shirt. I kept one of the flowers as a memory, it died so soon after. I feel bad for trying to "show off" at the funeral. The person who basically but not legally murdered her showed up and made a scene, and her sister had a heart attack at the sight of her in a coffin.
. My other grandma that I'm more close with is in the hospital doing surgeries and check ups and her husband has cancer. I love them both so much.
. My parents are getting rid of my birds and threatening to get rid of one of my dogs (a great dane) because of how she misbehaves. It was a joke at first, but it feels more real now with the yelling and hint of annoyance.
. The memories keep hitting back from when I almost killed my dad when he choked my mom half to death, and then the fact that they're perfectly fine now. I hate my dad so much and my mom for not kicking him out and putting me on medicine instead.
. Currently have an ear infection in both ears, it hurts. My head gets all full with pressure and I can't hear anyone. Might have surgery soon.
. Waiting until I can get a job and move out. I hate working as a 14 year old, it's hours of work for barely anything. I want to move out at 16.
. Nervous about getting into a dorm school I really like. It's about an hour away but the rate of acceptance is sorta low. I can't stay home with my parents.
. My crush is a stalker and hates me for trying to mention that it made me feel a little weird with how she talked about her crush all the time in every conversation (ex. I wanna cuddle her, wanna see a picture of her car? I have her class schedule, oh my god she likes ____ too!) and I eventually had to end up telling her if she doesn't stop, I'm calling the police.
. Not going to school tomorrow. I have to spend the whole day at the doctor's office. Probably not going to sleep today either.
. Little sisters birthday is coming up (adopted her after my grandma died. we were always close) and I don't know what to get her and I need to save.
. Everyone I meet is a pedophile.
. I have so many art commissions to finish, the thought makes my chest squeeze.
. My 12 year old (just turned 12) brother tried to make my little sister (nearly 13) give him a "footjob" in her sleep after learning what it was online. we all sleep in the same room, and my dad decided to put a wall up soon. he sleeps in the living room as of now.
. Started liking the southpark characters but I feel cringe now. They make me feel okay, kenny and butters and tweek and everybody. Nobody wants me to talk about it though. I never really get to talk about my interests. I just adapt to everyone elses
. My first attempt at suicide went unnoticed to everybody, which was good, since it was months ago, but it's weird that nobody in my family noticed the cuts, or maybe they did and it blended in with the rest of them. I haven't cut or had any weed cravings and don't think I will soon but it's weird to think about. clean streak since I was late 12 years old.
. Im always sick, always need to vent but physically and mentally can't get it out of me ever since my therapist said my feelings weren't real or valid (she was homophobic and I dressed as a boy) and another called child protective services and my parents yelled and screamed at me for hours on end.
. I just want comfort. Nothing comforts me
. I really want advice but everything I search or ask is "relax", I can't relax. It just doesn't work like that. I can't sleep. I just want someone to roleplay with and talk and match discord profile pictures and lay down. I'm so tired. I don't wanna move anymore.
2023.03.21 03:30 Comicalacimoc [NY] I manage a team of 10 and get along well with everyone. One person on the team truly does not carry her weight and doesn’t try to improve.
She’s attended 8 funerals this year and taken 11 days off for them.
This year meaning since June 2022.
She took 8 days off for having Covid and is late at least 3 times a month. She regularly takes unexpected time off on the day she is supposed to have reports sent and others have to cover them.
I’ve spoken to her a couple of times about making sure her tasks are done on time and accurately.
A different time, she told my boss she had to take time off who communicated it to me. He’s very easy going and didn’t think much of it.
Today she left halfway through the day (she had been working from home) and called my boss and left a message with his assistant saying she had to leave for a family situation.
I emailed her nicely to contact me directly if she needed to take time off so I can make sure her tasks are covered. I also said I hope everything is okay.
She emailed me back a few minutes ago and cc’d my boss saying she was very upset and offended at my email and that I had no idea what a tragic situation was happening.
I don’t think I said anything out of line and our procedure is to call or email your direct manager if you need to take time off or leave early.
I forwarded her email to HR.
I’d like to de-escalate the situation tomorrow and will be guided by HR but how can I manage a person who just isn’t doing their work?
submitted by Comicalacimoc to AskHR [link] [comments]
This year meaning since June 2022.
She took 8 days off for having Covid and is late at least 3 times a month. She regularly takes unexpected time off on the day she is supposed to have reports sent and others have to cover them.
I’ve spoken to her a couple of times about making sure her tasks are done on time and accurately.
A different time, she told my boss she had to take time off who communicated it to me. He’s very easy going and didn’t think much of it.
Today she left halfway through the day (she had been working from home) and called my boss and left a message with his assistant saying she had to leave for a family situation.
I emailed her nicely to contact me directly if she needed to take time off so I can make sure her tasks are covered. I also said I hope everything is okay.
She emailed me back a few minutes ago and cc’d my boss saying she was very upset and offended at my email and that I had no idea what a tragic situation was happening.
I don’t think I said anything out of line and our procedure is to call or email your direct manager if you need to take time off or leave early.
I forwarded her email to HR.
I’d like to de-escalate the situation tomorrow and will be guided by HR but how can I manage a person who just isn’t doing their work?
2023.03.21 02:57 Melaninberry Mother abandoned me
My mother and I never used to get along. We'd fight over stupid things because she's overly religious and kept trying to force it on me or she wouldn't allow to do the things I like because she thought it was too demonic. In 2018, she left the country for work (so she claims) and left my brother and I with my gran. She said she'd be back after a month but she only came back after 1 year and 2 months. She had only came back because my gran died from a stroke and I had found her body when I came back from school. Her death broke me. She was my bestfriend and I've always shared a bed with her, I've never slept alone and I've now developed insomnia (undiagnosed). When my mother came back she told me I'm the reason my gran died. I caused her death. I'll never forgive her for saying that to me. I've tried to moved passed it and build a relationship with her but she clearly only sees me as an enemy of progress. My brother once snapped and asked her how she would feel if I killed myself and she said " I'd disown her. I didn't raise a coward. I wouldn't even come to the funeral because she committed a sin and that would slow down my goals. I can't allow her to hinder my goals just because she's weak." I've just lost all hope.
Fast forward to 2022, she leaves again. She literally just woke up one morning told me she was leaving and that night she left the country. She said she'd be back after 3 days but it's been a year now. She refused to come back. She says God has sent her on a mission and she won't come back until she's done. Random people will call me claiming that they found her passed out in the street and that she's starving and malnourished but she's refusing help. We'd make arrangements to fly her back home but she'd run away and disappear before we can get to her. We don't even have the money to do all of this. Whatever financial aid we get is from the kindness of friends and family but they've all decided to cut her off. I have to look after my brother and it's so hard. I have an aunt who used to help but she doesn't have a job. My dad stays in the country my mother is in but he refused to help her, he despises my mom and is encouraging me to just move on with life. Although I don't regularly see my dad, he's the best I could ask for. He's there for me when I need him even though he's so far away.
I don't know how to cope and this is just the tip of the iceberg.
submitted by Melaninberry to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
Fast forward to 2022, she leaves again. She literally just woke up one morning told me she was leaving and that night she left the country. She said she'd be back after 3 days but it's been a year now. She refused to come back. She says God has sent her on a mission and she won't come back until she's done. Random people will call me claiming that they found her passed out in the street and that she's starving and malnourished but she's refusing help. We'd make arrangements to fly her back home but she'd run away and disappear before we can get to her. We don't even have the money to do all of this. Whatever financial aid we get is from the kindness of friends and family but they've all decided to cut her off. I have to look after my brother and it's so hard. I have an aunt who used to help but she doesn't have a job. My dad stays in the country my mother is in but he refused to help her, he despises my mom and is encouraging me to just move on with life. Although I don't regularly see my dad, he's the best I could ask for. He's there for me when I need him even though he's so far away.
I don't know how to cope and this is just the tip of the iceberg.
2023.03.21 02:52 SteezyBreeeze Feeling guilty
Hey so I recently had a friend commit suicide. He was one of my best friends in elementary school and he would come over in middle school and we would play video games just me and him. I lost contact with him over high school but about a year ago I saw him in passing in college and we reconnected and it was like no time passed. We hung out at his brothers house and it was like old times but due to my work schedule and us being in school we only hung out that once, about a year ago, and that was the last time I saw him. He would cross my mind every now and then and I would mean to reach out but I always forgot to by the time I remembered.
I just feel really bad because of all my childhood friends, I felt the closest to him. However, from growing up to even the most recent time we hung out, someone in the friend group would always make negative comments about him. I never defended him for whatever reason, and I also never really showed that I cared either unfortunately. I could tell though that each time a joke was made at him he would get quiet. I think that’s why I always got along with him best because I’m also always the brunt of the joke in my friend group too.
I just wish I would have reached out earlier this year. I’ve been wanting to move out since I was 18 and none of my other friends do (cause they live at home rent free) and I thought about texting him to see if he wanted to move out too, but I wanted to wait until he was done with the semester but it was too late.
I feel guilty about not prioritizing the friendship after we reconnected. I also regret not defending him the last time I saw him.
I don’t know why I’m writing this out here honestly or what it will accomplish. I tried to talk to another friend and my gf but neither really helped too much. I did reconnect with another friend that was a part of our original friend group so we’re gonna grab a drink while wait for the funeral announcement.
submitted by SteezyBreeeze to SuicideBereavement [link] [comments]
I just feel really bad because of all my childhood friends, I felt the closest to him. However, from growing up to even the most recent time we hung out, someone in the friend group would always make negative comments about him. I never defended him for whatever reason, and I also never really showed that I cared either unfortunately. I could tell though that each time a joke was made at him he would get quiet. I think that’s why I always got along with him best because I’m also always the brunt of the joke in my friend group too.
I just wish I would have reached out earlier this year. I’ve been wanting to move out since I was 18 and none of my other friends do (cause they live at home rent free) and I thought about texting him to see if he wanted to move out too, but I wanted to wait until he was done with the semester but it was too late.
I feel guilty about not prioritizing the friendship after we reconnected. I also regret not defending him the last time I saw him.
I don’t know why I’m writing this out here honestly or what it will accomplish. I tried to talk to another friend and my gf but neither really helped too much. I did reconnect with another friend that was a part of our original friend group so we’re gonna grab a drink while wait for the funeral announcement.