~ 1. Introduction ~
Here is a detailed description of my wishlist for a Mario Kart 9 or 10/X (if Tour is considered the 9th installment) I don't expect everyone to like all my ideas. This is just a wishlist. I obviously would be happy with any Mario Kart Nintendo decides to put out but in a perfect world, this is what I would want for it to be the best Mario Kart imo. I hope you enjoy.
*= Thoughts, Personal opinions, New ideas for modes, mechanics, driver outfits, vehicles, items, options, etc

• with numbered annotation⁰= Explanations on certain features

🔒= Locked. Must be unlocked by in game requirements or DLC
~ 2. Mechanics ~
~ Single Player / Multiplayer 》1P》2P》3P》4P》
Grand Prix》Class Optimization》Driver(s) Select》Vehicle Parts》Circuits》Cup Select》 Class Optimization options: Engine: 50cc》100cc》150cc》Mirror》All¹》All Mirror¹》 Driver: Solo Dash》Double Dash》² Drift: Automatic》Manual》³ Items: Normal》No Items》 Camera: Normal》First Person》⁴
*¹ - All and All Mirror options are only available in Grand Prix. After a Circuit has been selected, It'll play each Cup in order of that specific Circuit.
*² - All race and battle modes will feature either a Solo Dash or the new Double Dash option similar to Mario Kart Double Dash for extra replayability and character combinations.
*³ - Even if not many people liked Automatic drifting, it was there for a reason for you to choose. Some liked it. Some didn't. It should be the player's choice.
*⁴ - Camera can also be changed freely during the race from the pause menu.
Time Trials》Driver(s) Select》Circuits》Cup Select》Course Select》 Race Solo》Race Against Ghost》View Ghost》Online Ghost》Upload Ghost Data》
• VS Race》Driver(s) Select》Vehicle Parts》Customized Race》Circuits》Cup Select》Course Select》 Customized Race options: Engine Class: 50cc》100cc》150cc》Mirror》 Driver: Solo Dash》Double Dash》 Drift: Automatic》Manual》 Teams: No Teams》Team Game》 Items: Normal》Frantic》No Items》No Items and Coins》Custom》 COM: Easy》Normal》Hard》Pro¹》 COM Vehicles (Solo)²: All Vehicles》Karts Only》Bikes Only》 COM Vehicles (Doubles)²: All Vehicles》ATVs Only》Buggys Only》 Courses: Choose》In Order》Random》 Race Count: 4》5³》8》12》16》32》64》All》 Laps: 1》2》3》4》5》⁴
*¹ - Added a Pro difficulty to make the CPU feel more of a challenge.
*² - Wanted to split the vehicle selections between Solo Dash and Double Dash drivers. Solo Dash drivers will now only select between Karts and Bikes and Double Dash drivers will only select between ATVs and new Buggy vehicles. *Buggys are essential similar to the designs of the Karts used in Mario Kart Double Dash. ATVs are now bigger in size to help fit the idea of 2 drivers on one vehicle.
*³ - The original Super Mario Kart had 5 courses per Cup so I brought that option back for custom races.
*⁴ - Wanted to make the option available for players. These courses will be excluded from Laps option and be set to default when selected: ⁿ⁶⁴ Wario Stadium, ⁿ⁶⁴ Rainbow Road, ᵍᶜⁿ Baby Park, ᵍᶜⁿ Wario Colosseum, ³ᵈˢ Wuhu Loop, ³ᵈˢ Maka Wuhu, ³ᵈˢ Rainbow Road, ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Mount Wario, and ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Big Blue.
Battle》Driver(s) Select》Vehicle Parts》Customized Battle》Course Select》 Customized Battle options: Driver: Solo Dash》Double Dash》 Drift: Automatic》Manual》 Teams: No Teams》Team Game》 Items: Normal》Frantic》Skilled》Custom》 Round Time: 1 Minute》2 Minutes》3 Minutes》4 Minutes》5 Minutes》 COM: Easy》Normal》Hard》Pro》 COM Vehicles (Solo Dash): All Vehicles》Karts Only》Bikes Only》 COM Vehicles (Double Dash): All Vehicles》ATVs Only》Buggys Only》 Courses: Choose》In Order》Random》 Round Count: 3 Rounds》5 Rounds》7 Rounds》¹
*¹ - I shortened the rounds. Anything past 7 rounds is too much imo but that's just me. Also being a little bias cuz I'm not a fan of battle mode.
~ Online Play 》1P》2P》
Worldwide: Grand Prix*》VS Race》Battle》
Regional: Grand Prix*》VS Race》Battle》
Friends》Create Room
Tournaments》Menu. Menu options: Create a Tournament: Icon》Name》Rules》Time Settings》Other》 *Rules options: Mode: 50cc》100cc》150cc》Mirror》Balloon》Classic Balloon¹》 Renegade Roundup》Bob-omb Blast》Shine Runners¹》Coin Runners》 Shine Thief》Thunder Cloud Tag¹》Random Battle》 Driver: Solo Dash》Double Dash》 Drift: Automatic》Manual》 Teams: No Teams》Team Game》 Items: Normal》No Items》No Items or Coins》Frantic》Skilled*²》Custom》 Round Time (Battle only): 1 Minute》2 Minutes》3 Minutes》4 Minutes》5 Minutes》 COM: No COM》Easy》Normal》Hard》Pro》 Vehicles (Solo Dash): All Vehicles》Karts Only》Bikes Only》 Vehicles (Double Dash): All Vehicles》ATVs Only》Buggys Only》 Camera: Normal》First Person》 Smart Steering: Smart Steering OK》No Smart Steering》 *Time Settings options: Frequency: Weekly》Daily》Fixed Period》 Start Day: Sunday》Monday》Tuesday》Wednesday》Thursday》Friday》Saturday》 Start Date: Dependent》 Start Time: Dependent》 End Day: Sunday》Monday》Tuesday》Wednesday》Thursday》Friday》Saturday》 End Date: Dependent》 End Time: Dependent》 Round Count: 4 Rounds》8 Rounds》16 Rounds》 Group Shuffling: Don't Shuffle》Every 4th Match》 *Other options: Player Rating: Any Rating》0-2999》3000-9999》10000-99999》 Public/Private: Open to Everyone》Code Required》
*¹ - Scroll down to Battle section for more info.
*² - Skilled Items for Battle mode only.
Search by Code Search by Type Active Tournaments

• • A Report button will finally be added to report cheaters/hackers/etc.
• • I'm thinking Solo Dash races will feature the usual 12 players (1st - 12th place) while Double Dash races features upto 16 players but 8 groups total (1st - 8th place).
• • Worldwide and Regional Grand Prix will be 2-12 racers (or 4-16 in doubles mode) in a 4-race Cup from any randomly displayed Cups. Cups are then selected based on player voting.
• • Create Room will now feature customized options such as Mode, Teams, Items, CPUs, and Vehicles similar to the Create a Tournament option.
• • For online, I'd also like for a better ranking system to prevent casual players from racing against competitive players and vice versa.

~ MKTV
My Replays. View saved replays from previous races or battles on and offline. * You can now save more than just 6 replays.
Online Replays*¹ View shared replays from others online
Spectate*²
*¹ - Should've already been added in the first place.
²* - View recent online races or battles replays. Earn coins by voting who'll be 1st. * Literally stole this idea from Smash.
~ Other Details

• • The race start intro and race finishes to retro courses will have a remake version of their original transitions along with a rearranged verison of their original theme from that respective retro course. Example for better understanding. * Mario Kart GP courses will have the current game's race start and finish transitions.
• • I somehow also want to incorporate a way that once the Retro Grand Prix is unlocked, the title screen will have remake versions of the original title screens from previous Mario Kart games similar to Mario Party Superstars. Example
• It would show different title screens at each start up similarly to how Mario Kart 8/Deluxe's title screens Example
  
• • Sometimes the CPU seems to make decisions that only seem to target the player regardless of placement. I want a smarter CPU for harder difficulties that won't just use an item just to use. If a CPU is holding a shell, they should use it logically or defend themselves with it logically.
• • I personally am fine with every other mechanic used in Mario Kart 8/Deluxe such as driving techniques used, amiibo settings, Stats, etc. Keep the same driving techniques even during Double Dash mode. I personally was not a fan of Mario Kart Double Dash's drift mechanic and would not want that function brought back.

~ 3. Characters and Vehicles ~
~ Characters
68 Total Drivers (including DLC) 32 Total Alternate Drivers. 100 Total Individual Characters.

• • Driver select screen, press R button to rotate between alternate drivers. Some drivers will have upto 9 different outfits to choose from.
• • I wanted the original 8 to be the starting roster.

~ Drivers
Mario》Metal Mario 🔒》Tanooki Mario 🔒》Fire Mario 🔒》Ice Mario 🔒》Dr. Mario 🔒》 - Mario (Classic) 🔒 - Mario (Builder) 🔒 - Mario (SNES) 🔒 - Mario (Sunshine) 🔒 - Mario (Tuxedo) 🔒 - Mario (N64)*🔒 - Metal Mario (Gold) 🔒
Luigi》Penguin Luigi 🔒》Fire Luigi 🔒》Gooigi*🔒》 - Luigi (Classic) 🔒 - Luigi (Golf) 🔒 - Luigi (Builder) 🔒
Peach》Pink Gold Peach 🔒》Cat Peach 🔒》Fire Peach*🔒》 - Peach (Wedding) 🔒
Yoshi - Light-blue Yoshi - Black Yoshi - Red Yoshi - Yellow Yoshi - White Yoshi - Purple Yoshi - Pink Yoshi - Orange Yoshi
Bowser》Dry Bowser 🔒》Meowser 🔒》 - Dry Bowser (Gold) 🔒
Donkey Kong Jr. - Donkey Kong Jr. (SNES) 🔒
Koopa Troopa》Koopa (Freerunning) 🔒》 - Red Koopa (Freerunning) - Blue Koopa (Freerunning) - Purple Koopa (Freerunning) - Gold Koopa (Freerunning) 🔒
Toad》Cat Toad 🔒》Captain Toad 🔒》 - Toad (Pit Crew) 🔒 - Toad (Builder) 🔒 - Toad (Astronaut) 🔒 - Toad (Blue)* - Toad (Yellow)* - Toad (Green)*
Donkey Kong 🔒
Wario 🔒 - Wario (Biker)*
Daisy 🔒
Birdo 🔒 - Birdo (Light Blue) - Birdo (Black) - Birdo (Red) - Birdo (Yellow) - Birdo (White) - Birdo (Purple) - Birdo (Green) - Birdo (Orange)
Baby Mario 🔒
Baby Luigi 🔒
Toadette 🔒》Peachette 🔒》 - Toadette (Explorer) 🔒 - Toadette (Builder) 🔒 - Toadette (Astronaut) 🔒
Paratroopa 🔒 - Green Paratroopa*
Diddy Kong 🔒
Bowser Jr. 🔒
Waluigi 🔒
Petey Piranha 🔒
King Boo 🔒 - King Boo (Luigi's Mansion)
Pac-Man 🔒
Ms. Pac-Man 🔒
Blinky 🔒》Pinky》Inky》Clyde*》
Dry Bones 🔒 - Dry Bones (Gold) 🔒
R.O.B. 🔒 - R.O.B. (Famicom)*
Shy Guy 🔒 - Light-blue Shy Guy - Black Shy Guy - Green Shy Guy - Yellow Shy Guy - White Shy Guy - Blue Shy Guy - Pink Shy Guy - Orange Shy Guy
Mametchi 🔒
Baby Peach 🔒
Baby Daisy 🔒
Rosalina 🔒
Funky Kong 🔒
Mii 🔒
Honey Queen 🔒
Wiggler 🔒
Lakitu 🔒
Don-chan 🔒
Baby Rosalina 🔒
Iggy 🔒》Roy》Lemmy》Larry》Wendy》Ludwig》Morton》
Link 🔒 - Link (Champion's Tunic)
Villager 🔒 - Villager (Female)
Isabelle 🔒 - Isabelle (Winter)*
Inkling Girl 🔒 - Inkling Girl (lime green) - Inkling Girl (magenta)
Inkling Boy 🔒 - Inkling Boy (purple) - Inkling Boy (teal)
Pauline 🔒
Hammer Bro 🔒》Boomerang Bro 🔒》Ice Bro 🔒》Fire Bro 🔒》
Monty Mole 🔒
Dixie Kong 🔒
Nabbit 🔒
King Bob-omb 🔒
Kamek 🔒
Chargin' Chuck 🔒
Poochy 🔒
~ Newcomers
Noki ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒 - Noki (Green) - Noki (Pink) - Noki (Yellow)
Pianta ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒 - Pianta (Pink) - Pianta (Yellow) - Pianta (Purple)
Professor E. Gadd ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒
Toadsworth ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒
Luma ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒 - Luma (Blue) - Luma (Pink) - Luma (Green) - Luma (Cyan) - Luma (Red) - Luma (Purple) - Luma (Black) - Luma (Orange)
~ DLC
Sonic the Hedgehog ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒
Miles "Tails" Prower ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒
King K. Rool ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒》Kaptain K. Rool*》
Krunch ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒 * Would be an excellent choice for a surprise DLC character to those familiar w/Diddy Kong Racing
Zelda ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒》Sheik*》
Kirby ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒
King Dedede ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒
Captain Falcon ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒
Samus ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒》Zero Suit*》
Geno ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ 🔒

• - there's plenty of room for more characters but I figured 100 was the perfect amount of characters, especially with the double dash feature with everyone potentially having a partner with no odd person out.

~ Vehicles
Available parts. The parts available are listed here in the order shown in the vehicle customization screen, with the following notation: ¹ = Changes color, depending on the character. ² = Changes color for the Koopalings. ³ = Changes color for Daisy, Baby Daisy, Rosalina, and Baby Rosalina. (DLC) = Part is only available as downloadable content.

• Personally, I would want a system that prevents everyone from choosing the best racer with the best vehicle parts. For example If Luigi is the best racer and his best vehicle is the standard kart with mushroom tires, and gold glider, obviously everyone will choose Toad and those exact parts to win races. I want everyone to choose their favorite racer and parts that make them comfortable to race in, and not just look at a list of the best racers and parts and just copy and paste that. I don't know how to fix this honestly but I'm sure someone could help with ideas to this to make everyone equal in a way on the track with their own individuality similar to what Mario Kart 7 did with their characters.

~ Karts (Solo Dash)
Standard Kart¹ 4-Wheel Cradle 8-Bit Pipe Frame¹ Apple Kart B Dasher Badwagon Barrel Train Biddybuggy (Buggybud)¹ Birthday Girl (Royal Ribbon)²/³ Blue Falcon Blue Seven Booster Seat (Baby Booster) Bruiser (Growlster) Brute Bull's-Eye Banzai Bulldog-W ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ Bumble V Cact-R Cact-X Cat Cruiser Cheep Charger Cheep Snorkel Circuit Special¹ Clanky Kart Classic Dragster (Nostalgia 1) Cloud 9 Crawly Kart Cucumber Dasher II Daytripper (Royal Racer) Dozer Dasher Dragonfly Dry Bomber Egg 1 Flame Flyer Gold Mantis Gold Pipe Frame Gold Standard (Gold Kart) Green Apple Kart Honeycoupe (Dragonetti) Hurricane Jet Cruiser Jetsetter (Aero Glider) Jumbo Jetter Kiddie Kart¹ Koopa Clown² Landship ² Light Dancer Light Tripper Mach 8 Mini Beast (Concerto) Mushmellow Offroader P-Wing Paintster Parade Kart Penguin Slider Pink Mushmellow Pipe Frame¹ Piranha Prowler Poltergust 4000 Power Flower Prancer Prop Kart Quickshaw ROB-BLS Rambi Rider Royale Shooting Star Sky Pop ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ Sneeker (Bounder)¹ Snow Skimmer Soda Jet Sports Coupe (Sports Coupé) Sprinter (B Dasher Mk. 2) Star Broom Steel Driver Streamliner Streetle Super 1 Super Blooper (Turbo Blooper) Surf Sailer Swift Talon Tanooki Kart Tea Coupe Tiny Titan (Rally Romper) Tiny Tug Tri-Speeder Wario Car Warship Wild Wing Wildlife Yellow Taxi Zucchini (Gherkin) Speed Star ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source Whirlwind Sport ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source Egg Mobile ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ * Was inspired by this image I found. Source Reminds me of the Egg Mobile with Monster tires White Cat ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source Dark Schnieder ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source Car¹ ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ * Source * the number in the center will be replaced by driver's logo Dragoon Kart ⁽ᵈˡᶜ * Source
~ Bikes (Solo Dash)
Standard Bike¹ Bit Bike (Nanobike) City Tripper¹ Flame Rider Hurricane Jet Bubble (Bubble Bike) Master Cycle Zero Mr. Scooty (Mr Scooty) Phantom Quacker ROB-LGS Shooting Star (Twinkle Star) Sugarscoot (Bon Bon)¹ The Duke Varmint Wario Bike Zip Zip (Rapide) Zipper Wheelie Bike ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source
Bullet Bike¹ Comet Dolphin Dasher Flame Runner (Bowser Bike)¹ Jet Bike Mach Bike¹ Magikruiser¹ Master Cycle Sneakster (Nitrocycle) Sport Bike¹ Yoshi Bike¹ Zinger Sting ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ * just an idea I had for a new bike based off of a beta imagine for Donkey Kong racing. Source * the number in the center will be replaced by driver's logo. Bike version of the Prop Kart
~ ATVs (Double Dash)
Standard ATV (Standard Quad)¹ Bone Rattler Inkstriker Spear (Torpedo)¹ Splat Buggy Teddy Buggy Tyrant Wild Wiggler Hovercraft¹ ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source
~ Buggys (Double Dash)
Standard Buggy ¹ Banisher Bolt Buggy Bullet Blaster Coach³ * Heart Coach/Bloom Coach from Mario Kart Double Dash DK Jumbo Fire Buggy¹ * Red Fire from Mario Kart Double Dash Goo-Goo Buggy¹ Koopa Dasher Koopa King Para-Wing Pipe Buggy¹ Piranha Pipes Turbo Birdo Turbo Yoshi Waluigi Racer
~ Tires
Standard (Normal) 8-Bit Standard Ancient Tires (Ancient Tyres) Azure Roller Bicycle Tires Blue Monster Blue Standard (Normal Blue) Button Capsule Crimson Slim Cushion Cyber Slick Drum Gold 8-Bit Standard Gold Tires (Gold Wheels) Heart Rings Hot Monster (Funky Monster) Iron Leaf Tires (Leaf Tyres) Metal Monster Mushroom Mushroom Off-Road Red Monster Retro Off-Road Roller Slick Slim Snorkel Tires Sponge Triforce Tires (Triforce Tyres) Wood (Wooden) Yoshi Tires
~ Gliders
Super Glider¹ 8-Bit Jumping Mario Beast Glider (Ghastly Glider) Bowser Kite Butterfly Sunset Cloud Glider Crimson Crane Droplet Glider Eggshell Glider Eggshell Glider Fare Flier Flower Glider Gold Glider Great Sail Hylian Kite MKTV Parafoil Oilpaper Umbrella Paper Glider Parachute Paraglider (Breath of the Wild) Paraglider (Parafoil) Peach Parasol³ Plane Glider Ribbon Swooper (Swoop) Waddle Wing Waluigi Wing Wario Wing Magic Carpet ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source Wizpig Glider ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Example at 00:31 Tails Flier ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source Knuckles Glider ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source Gunship ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source
~ 4. Items ~
× – Does not appear in Battle Mode.
~ Items found on the track
Item Box - Gives the player a random item. Items given are based on the player's distance from first place. * I would like for them to look either similar to how they looked in Mario Kart 64 or Mario Kart DS' design.
Coin - Gives the player a small boost and increase top speed when more are collected, up to a maximum of ten.
Rupee - The equivalent of a coin, used for Hyrule Circuit and Zelda related courses. They replace coins in the item roulette and in the track.
Bell - The equivalent of a coin, used for Animal Crossing. They replace coins in the item roulette and in the track.
Cash - The equivalent of a coin, used for Splatoon related courses. They replace coins in the item roulette and in the track.
Balloon ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - The equivalent of an Item Box, used for Diddy Kong Racing related course. Source
Item Box (Capsule) ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - The equivalent of an Item Box, used for Sonic related course. Source
Star Block ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - The equivalent of an Item Box, used for Kirby related course. Source
Banana ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - The equivalent of a coin, used for Donkey Kong Country / Diddy Kong Racing related courses. They replace coins in the item roulette and in the track. Source
Ring ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - The equivalent of a coin, used for Sonic related courses. They replace coins in the item roulette and in the track. Source
Food ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - The equivalent of a coin, used for Kirby related courses. They replace coins in the item roulette and in the track. Source
~ New Items
Coin Block ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ - * floats above player for a short time (10 seconds). Hop to collect upto 10 coins. Can only be obtained if player has 0 coins. Replacing the Coin Box item from Mario Kart Tour. Example
~ Returning Items
Banana Peel - When a kart hits a Banana Peel, it spins out. You can carry one behind your kart to protect yourself from a single attack. Can be thrown backward and forward.
Green Shell - Travels in a straight line and knocks over a kart it hits.
Red Shell - Red Shell Homes in on the closest kart in front of the player and knocks it over.
Feather - Causes the player to spin and leap in the air, providing a small speed boost upon landing, akin to a regular trick (characters will also perform a trick animation during the jump).
Mushroom - Provides the player's kart with a small speed boost.
Super Star - Provides the player invincibility from all terrain and items, and also giving a speed boost.
Boo - Unleashes Boo, who turns the player invisible for a brief time, making them impervious to enemy attacks, and steals an opponent's item. Cannot steal Special Items.
Coinˣ - Grants the player two extra coins and a micro boost.
Lightningˣ - Causes all opponents to drop their items, shrink, and drive slowly for a short time.
Fake Item - Looks just like an item box, but when you run into it, it knocks you over.
Bob-omb - Explodes after a short time when thrown or dropped, knocking over any kart in its blast radius.
Blooper - Sprays ink on all racers ahead and reduces their visibility. The racers hit also lose some of their traction while sprayed.
Bullet Billˣ - Transforms the player into a Bullet Bill, rocketing through the track with auto-pilot, and providing invincibility from all terrain and items.
Spiny Shellˣ - Targets the racer in first place, knocking over all other karts in its path.
Super Horn - Emits a radial shockwave hitting racers, as well as destroying all obstacles, including the Spiny Shell.
~ Special Items
Fireball (Red) - Three fireballs will revolve around your kart. They split up after they're thrown and go sliding ahead. These powerful pyrotechnics can take out multiple opponents at once. Drivers: Mario, Fire Mario
Fireball (Green) - Three fireballs will revolve around your kart. They split up after they're thrown and go sliding ahead. These powerful pyrotechnics can take out multiple opponents at once. Drivers: Luigi, Fire Luigi
Fire Flower - Allows the player to throw fireballs for a short time that cause other karts to spin out on impact. Drivers: Metal Mario, Fire Peach, Fire Bro
Ice Flower - Three balls of ice will revolve around your kart. Throw them all at once and they'll freeze any kart they hit, causing them to slide. Drivers: Ice Bro, Ice Mario, Penguin Luigi
Heart - This protective Heart revolves around your kart for a set amount of time, shielding you from attacks. Any item that hits the player becomes theirs to use. A cute and handy item. Drivers: Peach, Daisy, Villager, Wendy, Mametchi
Yoshi's Egg - This egg rolls down the road and home in on opponents. When they hit and break, they'll drop three more items. Drivers: Yoshi
Birdo's Egg - Homes in on the kart in front of you and crashes once it hits. Three more items will fly out when it breaks. Drivers: Birdo
Chain Chomp - This fearsome beast chases karts with reckless abandon, pulling the player behind it at breakneck speeds. Drivers: Baby Mario, Baby Luigi
Triple Mushrooms - Orbits the player's kart, providing them with three separate speed boosts. Drivers: Toad, Toadette
Golden Mushroom - Provides the player's kart with continuous speed boosts for a short time. Drivers: Captain Toad
Mega Mushroom - The driver grows bigger, which allows them to squash other racers by running over them, making them lose their items and slow down for a moment. Drivers: Pac-Man, Ms. Pac-Man, Wiggler
Poison Mushroom - A stationary item. Looks like a regular mushroom but If one is run into, the victim shrinks, as if hit by a Lightning. Shrunken racers who run into it revert to normal size. Drivers: Kamek * ngl, i didn't really know who to give this item to
Mushroom Cannon - A cannon designed to resemble a Mushroom. Continually shoots out Mushrooms in front of your kart for a set time. Drivers: Monty Mole, Peachette, Toadsworth
Triple Green Shells - Three green shells that orbit the player's kart, protecting them from incoming attacks. Drivers: Koopa Troopa, Dry Bones, Lakitu, Koopa (Freerunning)
Triple Red Shells - Three red shells that orbit the player's kart, protecting them from incoming attacks. Drivers: Paratroopa, Dry Bones, Lakitu, Koopa (Freerunning)
Bowser's Shell - An awe-inspiring giant shell! As it careens down the road, slamming and ramming into karts, it's the very image of Bowser himself. Drivers: Bowser, Bowser Jr., Dry Bowser
Triple Bananas - Three bananas that orbit the player's kart, protecting them from incoming attacks. Drivers: Donkey Kong Jr., Dixie Kong
Giant Banana - Not only does this big banana spin out karts that hit it, but after being struck it breaks into three regular-sized Bananas. Drivers: Donkey Kong
Banana Barrels - Arm your kart with two fully-loaded barrels of Bananas! Continually shoots out Bananas in front of or behind your kart for a set time. Drivers: Diddy Kong, Funky Kong
Thunder Cloud - A thundercloud hovers over the recipient and strikes it with lightning after 10 seconds. The user shrinks to a very small size for 10 seconds, driving more slowly. Before this happens, the user has higher speed and acceleration while not losing speed when driving off-road, and may pass the cloud to an opponent by bumping into them. Drivers: Blinky, Pinky, Inky, Clyde * If there was absolutely no choice but to have the next Meta character, it'd be the Ghosts. Having one of the worst possible specials in the game should balance them out.
POW Block - The POW Block appears above the karts as a 2D image, warning players of its arrival, and causes any racer on the ground ahead of the user to spin out and drop their items. * Since wheelies are no longer a thing, it always spins out other racers unless they're in anti-gravity mode or during an in air trick Drivers: Mii, Don-chan
Super Leaf- Gives the player's kart a tail that can be used to deflect items, knock over opponents and collect coins. The tail will disappear after a moment or if the player is hurt. Drivers: Tanooki Mario
Lucky Seven - Surrounds the player with seven items that rotates around its kart. The player receives a Mushroom, Banana, Green Shell, Red Shell, Blooper, Bob-omb, and a Star. Drivers: King Boo, Pauline, Poochy, Nabbit, Chargin' Chuck, Pianta, Noki
Boomerang Flower - Can be thrown up to three times, hitting racers forward/backward and when it returns to its user after the first and second use. Driver: Boomerang Bro, Larry
Piranha Plant - Automatically chomps on obstacles and other racers, giving a short speed boost for each bite. Drivers: Petey Piranha
Double Bob-ombs - Two Bob-ombs will revolve around your kart. Throw them both at once. Drivers: Wario, Waluigi, Roy
Bob-omb Cannon - Continually shoots out Bob-ombs in front of your kart for a set time. Drivers: Shy Guy
Giga Bob-omb - After being thrown, it will explode after hitting a kart or bouncing 3 times. It has a larger blast radius than a standard Bob-omb. Drivers: King Bob-omb
Bubble - Briefly envelops your kart and protects you from damage for a set time. While in the bubble, you will get a speed boost and float in the air. Drivers: Baby Peach, Baby Daisy, Baby Rosalina, Lemmy
Dash Ring - Tosses out three rings in front of you along the track. Pass through them for a speed boost! Drivers: Rosalina, Luma, Ludwig, Honey Queen
Hammer - Throws multiple Hammers in an arc aimed at karts in front of yours. Drivers: Hammer Bro
Super Bell - A bell rings above the driver, knocking away nearby karts and items. The bell rings three consecutive times. Drivers: Cat Peach, Cat Toad
Capsule - Three colorful capsules surround your kart. They'll bounce at opponents when thrown. Drivers: Dr. Mario
Splat Bomb ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ - * Explodes after a short time when thrown or dropped, knocking and spraying ink on any kart in its blast radius and reduces their visibility. The racers hit also lose some of their traction while sprayed. Drivers: Inkling Girl, Inkling Boy
Magical Boomerang ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾ - * Works like a Boomerang Flower that tracks closes kart infront of player like a Red Shell Drivers: Link
Magnet ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - * a powerful magnet that pulls opponents towards the player Source Drivers: Krunch
Nayru's Love ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - * will surround the racer's kart with a protective shield. Any items that hit this shield will be reflected back at the racer who used them. If a driver using Nayru's Love is attacked with an item such as a Lightning, the racer who used the Lightning item will take damage. Drivers: Zelda
Copy Ability ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - * steals Special item from any racer. If no racer has a special item on them, it'll randomly generate a random racer's Special Item. Drivers: Kirby
Dedede's Hammer ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - * driver using Dedede's Hammer, will swing it around for about 5 seconds. Any karts hit will be squashed, causing them to lose their item and speed momentarily. Drivers: King Dedede
Invincibility Shield ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - * become invulnerable to all damage for a short time. Drivers: Sonic, Tails
Bombs ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - * Think Double Bob-ombs, the original Triple Bananas and the Feather item. If used as a protective item, upon the explosion, the player will leap in the air, providing a small speed boost upon landing. Drivers: Samus
Geno Flash ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ - * works like a Lightning but doesn't strink opponents. Drivers: Geno

• - R.O.B. and Professor E. Gadd have the ability to obtain any special item, excluding Fireball (Green), Birdo's Egg, Lucky Seven, Nayru's Love ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾, Copy Ability ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾, and Geno Flash ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾

~ 5. Courses ~
~ Cups
161 Total Courses
Nitro Grand Prix Mushroom Cup》 Flower Cup》 Star Cup》 Special Cup 🔒
Retro Grand Prix 🔒 Mushroom 🍄 Courses : Shell Cup》Golden Dash Cup》Red Coin Cup》Blue Coin Cup》Banana Cup》Lucky Cat Cup》1-Up Cup》Gold Cup》
Flower 🌷 Courses: Leaf Cup》Turnip Cup》Freezie Cup》Metal Cup》 Lightning Cup》Rock Cup》POW Cup》Heart Cup》
Star ⭐️ Courses: Sun Cup》Moon Cup》Red Shell Cup》Thunder Cloud Cup》Wing Cup》Boomerang Cup》Coin Block Cup》Warp Cup》
Special 👑 Courses: Vanish Cup》Cherry Cup》Mega Cup》Tanooki Cup》? Block Cup》Spiny Cup》Shine Cup》Grand Cup》
World Grand Prix🔒 Lightning⚡️Courses: Egg Cup》Triforce Cup》Crossing Cup》Bell Cup》Propeller Cup》Fruit Cup》Feather Cup》Acorn Cup》Super Cup》World Cup》
Extra Grand Prix 🔒* Excellent idea to introduce courses from the Mario Kart GP series as well as new courses for DLC content
~ New Courses
Nitro Grand Prix: Mushroom Cup 🍄 1. New Mario Circuit 2. TBD 3. TBD 4. TBD
Nitro Grand Prix: Flower Cup 🌷 1. beach- or water-themed course 2. TBD 3. TBD 4. TBD
Nitro Grand Prix: Star Cup ⭐️ 1. ice- or snow-themed course 2. TBD 3. TBD 4. TBD
Nitro Grand Prix: Special Cup 👑 1. TBD 2. TBD 3. New Bowser's Castle 4. New Rainbow Road
~ Retro Courses
Mushroom 🍄 Courses Retro Grand Prix: Shell Cup 1. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Mario Kart Stadium 2. ᵈˢ Yoshi Falls 3. ᵍᶜⁿ Baby Park 4. ˢⁿᵉˢ Bowser Castle 1
Retro Grand Prix: Golden Dash Cup 1. ʷⁱⁱ Luigi Circuit 2. ᵍᵇᵃ Shy Guy Beach 3. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Sweet Sweet Canyon 4. ᵍᶜⁿ Dry Dry Desert
Retro Grand Prix: Red Coin Cup 1. ³ᵈˢ Toad Circuit 2. ⁿ⁶⁴ Moo Moo Farm 3. ᵍᵇᵃ Riverside Park 4. ʷⁱⁱ Toad's Factory
Retro Grand Prix: Blue Coin Cup 1. ⁿ⁶⁴ Luigi Raceway 2. ˢⁿᵉˢ Donut Plains 1 3. ᵈˢ Cheep Cheep Beach 4. ³ᵈˢ Shy Guy Bazaar
Retro Grand Prix: Banana Cup 1. ᵈˢ Figure-8 Circuit 2. ʷⁱⁱ Moo Moo Meadows 3. ³ᵈˢ Cheep Cheep Lagoon 4. ⁿ⁶⁴ Kalimari Desert
Retro Grand Prix: Lucky Cat Cup 1. ˢⁿᵉˢ Mario Circuit 1 2. ᵍᶜⁿ Peach Beach 3. ⁿ⁶⁴ Koopa Troopa Beach 4. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Thwomp Ruins
Retro Grand Prix: 1-Up Cup 1. ᵍᶜⁿ Luigi Circuit 2. ³ᵈˢ Daisy Hills 3. ˢⁿᵉˢ Ghost Valley 1 4. ᵍᵇᵃ Bowser Castle 1
Retro Grand Prix: Gold Cup 1. ᵍᵇᵃ Peach Circuit 2. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Water Park 3. ʷⁱⁱ Mushroom Gorge 4. ᵈˢ Luigi's Mansion
Flower 🌷 Courses Retro Grand Prix: Leaf Cup 1. ᵍᶜⁿ Mushroom Bridge 2. ᵍᵇᵃ Boo Lake 3. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Twisted Mansion 4. ³ᵈˢ Rock Rock Mountain
Retro Grand Prix: Turnip Cup 1. ᵍᵇᵃ Mario Circuit 2. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Toad Harbor 3. ⁿ⁶⁴ Choco Mountain 4. ˢⁿᵉˢ Bowser Castle 2
Retro Grand Prix: Freezie Cup 1. ᵈˢ Desert Hills 2. ᵍᶜⁿ Mario Circuit 3. ʷⁱⁱ DK Summit 4. ᵍᵇᵃ Bowser Castle 2
Retro Grand Prix: Metal Cup 1. ʷⁱⁱ Mario Circuit 2. ⁿ⁶⁴ Frappe Snowland 3. ᵍᶜⁿ Daisy Cruiser 4. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Shy Guy Falls
Retro Grand Prix: Lightning Cup 1. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Mario Circuit 2. ˢⁿᵉˢ Ghost Valley 2 3. ᵈˢ Waluigi Pinball 4. ʷⁱⁱ Wario's Gold Mine
Retro Grand Prix: Rock Cup 1. ˢⁿᵉˢ Choco Island 1 2. ᵈˢ Delfino Square 3. ³ᵈˢ Music Park 4. ⁿ⁶⁴ Mario Raceway
Retro Grand Prix: POW Cup 1. ³ᵈˢ Wuhu Loop 2. ʷⁱⁱ Coconut Mall 3. ᵍᵇᵃ Cheese Land 4. ᵈˢ Shroom Ridge
Retro Grand Prix: Heart Cup 1. ⁿ⁶⁴ Toad's Turnpike 2. ³ᵈˢ Mario Circuit 3. ˢⁿᵉˢ Donut Plains 2 4. ᵍᶜⁿ Waluigi Stadium
Star ⭐️ Courses Retro Grand Prix: Sun Cup 1. ᵍᵇᵃ Snow Land 2. ˢⁿᵉˢ Choco Island 2 3. ᵍᶜⁿ Yoshi Circuit 4. ⁿ⁶⁴ Bowser's Castle
Retro Grand Prix: Moon Cup 1. ⁿ⁶⁴ Wario Stadium 2. ʷⁱⁱ Koopa Cape 3. ᵍᵇᵃ Yoshi Desert 4. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Mount Wario
Retro Grand Prix: Red Shell Cup 1. ʷⁱⁱ Daisy Circuit 2. ᵍᵇᵃ Ribbon Road 3. ᵈˢ Mario Circuit 4. ᵍᶜⁿ DK Mountain
Retro Grand Prix: Thunder Cloud Cup 1. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Sunshine Airport 2. ⁿ⁶⁴ Sherbet Land 3. ˢⁿᵉˢ Vanilla Lake 1 4. ³ᵈˢ Maka Wuhu
Retro Grand Prix: Wing Cup 1. ᵈˢ DK Pass 2. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Dolphin Shoals 3. ³ᵈˢ Neo Bowser City 4. ʷⁱⁱ Grumble Volcano
Retro Grand Prix: Boomerang Cup 1. ᵍᶜⁿ Sherbet Land 2. ³ᵈˢ Wario Shipyard 3. ⁿ⁶⁴ Royal Raceway 4. ˢⁿᵉˢ Bowser Castle 3
Retro Grand Prix: Coin Block Cup 1. ˢⁿᵉˢ Koopa Beach 1 2. ᵈˢ Tick-Tock Clock 3. ʷⁱⁱ Maple Treeway 4. ᵍᵇᵃ Bowser Castle 3
Retro Grand Prix: Warp Cup 1. ³ᵈˢ Piranha Plant Slide 2. ᵍᶜⁿ Mushroom City 3. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Electrodrome 4. ᵈˢ Airship Fortress
Special 👑 Courses Retro Grand Prix: Vanish Cup 1. ˢⁿᵉˢ Donut Plains 3 2. ʷⁱⁱ Moonview Highway 3. ᵍᵇᵃ Bowser Castle 4 4. ᵍᶜⁿ Rainbow Road
Retro Grand Prix: Cherry Cup 1. ³ᵈˢ DK Jungle 2. ᵍᵇᵃ Broken Pier 3. ˢⁿᵉˢ Ghost Valley 3 4. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Rainbow Road
Retro Grand Prix: Mega Cup 1. ʷⁱⁱ Dry Dry Ruins 2. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Bone-Dry Dunes 3. ⁿ⁶⁴ Banshee Boardwalk 4. ˢⁿᵉˢ Vanilla Lake 2
Retro Grand Prix: Tanooki Cup 1. ᵍᶜⁿ Wario Colosseum 2. ³ᵈˢ Rosalina's Ice World 3. ʷⁱⁱ Bowser's Castle 4. ⁿ⁶⁴ Rainbow Road
Retro Grand Prix: ? Block Cup 1. ᵈˢ Wario Stadium 2. ˢⁿᵉˢ Koopa Beach 2 3. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Bowser's Castle 4. ᵍᵇᵃ Rainbow Road
Retro Grand Prix: Spiny Cup 1. ᵍᵇᵃ Lakeside Park 2. ᵍᶜⁿ Dino Dino Jungle 3. ᵈˢ Bowser Castle 4. ʷⁱⁱ Rainbow Road
Retro Grand Prix: Shine Cup 1. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Cloudtop Cruise 2. ⁿ⁶⁴ Yoshi Valley 3. ³ᵈˢ Bowser's Castle 4. ᵈˢ Rainbow Road
Retro Grand Prix: Grand Cup 1. ⁿ⁶⁴ D.K.'s Jungle Parkway 2. ᵈˢ Peach Gardens 3. ᵍᶜⁿ Bowser's Castle 4. ³ᵈˢ Rainbow Road
Lightning⚡️Courses 🔒 World Grand Prix: Egg Cup 1. ˢⁿᵉˢ Rainbow Road 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Berlin Byways 3. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Wild Woods 4. ˢʷᶦᵗᶜʰ Yoshi's Island
World Grand Prix: Triforce Cup 1. ˢⁿᵉˢ Mario Circuit 4 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Los Angeles Laps 3. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Piranha Plant Cove 4. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Hyrule Circuit
World Grand Prix: Crossing Cup 1. ᵍᵇᵃ Luigi Circuit 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Sydney Sprint 3. TBA 4. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Animal Crossing
World Grand Prix: Bell Cup 1. ᵍᵇᵃ Sky Garden 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Singapore Speedway 3. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Super Bell Subway 4. TBA
World Grand Prix: Propeller Cup 1. ˢⁿᵉˢ Mario Circuit 3 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Vancouver Velocity 3. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Ice Ice Outpost 4. ˢʷᶦᵗᶜʰ Sky-High Sundae
World Grand Prix: Fruit Cup 1. ᵍᵇᵃ Sunset Wilds 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ New York Minute 3. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Bangkok Rush 4. TBA
World Grand Prix: Feather Cup 1. ˢⁿᵉˢ Mario Circuit 2 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ London Loop 3. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Ninja Hideaway 4. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Mute City
World Grand Prix: Acorn Cup 1. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Paris Promenade 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Merry Mountain 3. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Dragon Driftway 4. TBA
World Grand Prix: Super Cup 1. ᵍᵇᵃ Cheep-Cheep Island 2. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Amsterdam Drift 3. TBA 4. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Big Blue
World Grand Prix: World Cup 1. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Tokyo Blur 2. ʷⁱⁱ ᵘ Excitebike Arena 3. ᵗᵒᵘʳ Athens Dash 4. TBA
~ Extra/DLC Courses
Extra Grand Prix: Mario Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖ Mario Highway 2. ᵃᵍᵖ Mario Beach
Extra Grand Prix: Extra Mario Cup 🔒 1. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Splash Circuit 2. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Tropical Coast
Extra Grand Prix: DK Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖ DK Jungle 2. ᵃᵍᵖ Bananan Ruins
Extra Grand Prix: Extra DK Cup 🔒 1. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Bananan Labyrinth 2. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ DK Jungle
Extra Grand Prix: Wario Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖ Diamond City 2. ᵃᵍᵖ Snow Panic
Extra Grand Prix: Waluigi Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖ² Stadium Arena 2. ᵃᵍᵖ² Waluigi Stadium
Extra Grand Prix: Pac-Man Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖ Pac Mountain 2. ᵃᵍᵖ Pac Labyrinth
Extra Grand Prix: Extra Pac-Man Cup 🔒 1. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ PAC-MAN Stadium 2. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ NAMCO Circuit
Extra Grand Prix: Bowser Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖ Bowser's Castle 2. ᵃᵍᵖ Castle Wall
Extra Grand Prix: Extra Bowser Cup 🔒 1. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Bowser's Factory 2. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Bowser's Castle
Extra Grand Prix: Rainbow Cup 🔒 1. ᵃᵍᵖ Rainbow Coaster 2. ᵃᵍᵖ Rainbow Downhill
Extra Grand Prix: Yoshi Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖ² Yoshi Park 1 2. ᵃᵍᵖ² Yoshi Park 2
Extra Grand Prix: Toad Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Peach Castle 2. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Kingdom Way
Extra Grand Prix: Don-chan Cup 🔒 1. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Bon Dance Street 2. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Omatsuri Circuit
Extra Grand Prix: Bowser Jr. Cup 1. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Aerial Road 2. ᵃᵍᵖᵈˣ Sky Arena
Extra Grand Prix: Inklings Cup 1. Splatoon themed course * Splat Circuit 2. Splatoon themed course
Extra Grand Prix: Sonic ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ 🔒 1. Sonic themed course * Twinkle Circuit Source at 1:00 2. Sonic themed course * Green Hill Zone related course
Extra Grand Prix: King K. Rool ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ 🔒 1. King K. Rool/Donkey Kong Country related themed course 2. Diddy Kong Racing related themed course * Jungle Falls or Darkmoon Caverns Source 1 Source 2
Extra Grand Prix: Zelda ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ 🔒 1. Zelda themed course * Lost Woods 2. Zelda themed course
Extra Grand Prix: Kirby ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ 🔒 1. Kirby themed course * Fantasy Meadows (from Kirby Air Ride) Source 2. Kirby themed course * Meta Knight's Halberd or The Great Cave Offensive
Extra Grand Prix: Samus ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ 🔒 1. Metroid themed course 2. Metroid themed course
~ 6. Battle ~
In all games, the engine class of Battle Mode is fixed to 50cc. An exception is the Renegade Roundup mode where it is increased to 100cc.
~ Battle Modes
Balloon Battle》Team Balloon Battle》 Classic Balloon Battle》Team Classic Balloon Battle - Mini Bomb Karts return. Shine Thief》Team Shine Thief》 Bob-omb Blast》Team Bob-omb Blast Shine Runners Coin Runners (Coin Battle)》Team Coin Runners》 Renegade Roundup
Thunder Cloud Tag ⁽ⁿᵉʷ⁾* - Similar to Shine Thief but reverse. Think of it as Tag. A random player has a Thunder Cloud and must tag others to lose it from above their head. If the player holds the Thunder Cloud when the timer reaches zero, this process repeats until one player remains.
~ Courses
ˢⁿᵉˢ Battle Course 1 ˢⁿᵉˢ Battle Course 2 ˢⁿᵉˢ Battle Course 3 ˢⁿᵉˢ Battle Course 4 ⁿ⁶⁴ Big Donut ⁿ⁶⁴ Block Fort ⁿ⁶⁴ Double Deck ⁿ⁶⁴ Skyscraper ᵍᵇᵃ Battle Course 1 ᵍᵇᵃ Battle Course 2 ᵍᵇᵃ Battle Course 3 ᵍᵇᵃ Battle Course 4 ᵍᶜⁿ Cookie Land ᵍᶜⁿ Block City ᵍᶜⁿ Luigi's Mansion ᵍᶜⁿ Nintendo GameCube ᵍᶜⁿ Pipe Plaza ᵍᶜⁿ Tilt-a-Kart ᵈˢ Nintendo DS ᵈˢ Twilight House ᵈˢ Palm Shore ᵈˢ Tart Top ᵈˢ Block Fort ᵈˢ Pipe Plaza ʷⁱⁱ Block Plaza ʷⁱⁱ Delfino Pier ʷⁱⁱ Funky Stadium ʷⁱⁱ Chain Chomp Wheel ʷⁱⁱ Thwomp Desert ³ᵈˢ Honeybee Hive (Honeybee House) ³ᵈˢ Sherbet Rink ³ᵈˢ Wuhu Town ˢʷᶦᵗᶜʰ Battle Stadium ˢʷᶦᵗᶜʰ Sweet Sweet Kingdom ˢʷᶦᵗᶜʰ Dragon Palace ˢʷᶦᵗᶜʰ Lunar Colony ˢʷᶦᵗᶜʰ Urchin Underpass ᵗᵒᵘʳ New York Minute B ᵗᵒᵘʳ Paris Promenade B Icicle Pyramid or Smokey Castle ⁽ᵈˡᶜ⁾ Source 1 Source 2

ROUND 7: Monaco 🇲🇨

FORMULA 1 GRAND PRIX DE MONACO 2023
Fri 26 May - Sun 28 May
Monte Carlo

Session	UTC
Free Practice 1	Fri 11:30
Free Practice 2	Fri 15:00
Free Practice 3	Sat 10:30
Qualifying	Sat 14:00
Race	Sun 13:00

Click here for start times in your area.

Circuit de Monaco

Length: 3.337 km (2.074 mi)
Distance: 78 laps, 260.286 km (161.734 mi)
Lap record: 🇬🇧 Lewis Hamilton, Mercedes, 2021, 1:12.909
2022 pole: 🇲🇨 Charles Leclerc, Ferrari, 1:11.376
2022 fastest lap: 🇬🇧 Lando Norris, McLaren-Mercedes, 1:14.693
2022 winner: 🇲🇽 Sergio Perez, Red Bull Racing-RBPT

Race results

Pos.	No.	Driver	Team	Laps	Time/Retired	Points
1	1	Max Verstappen	Red Bull Racing Honda RBPT	78	1:48:51.980	0
2	14	Fernando Alonso	Aston Martin Aramco Mercedes	78	+27.921s	0
3	31	Esteban Ocon	Alpine Renault	78	+36.990s	0
4	44	Lewis Hamilton	Mercedes	78	+39.062s	0
5	63	George Russell	Mercedes	78	+56.284s	0
6	16	Charles Leclerc	Ferrari	78	+61.890s	0
7	10	Pierre Gasly	Alpine Renault	78	+62.362s	0
8	55	Carlos Sainz	Ferrari	78	+63.391s	0
9	4	Lando Norris	McLaren Mercedes	77	+1 lap	0
10	81	Oscar Piastri	McLaren Mercedes	77	+1 lap	0
11	77	Valtteri Bottas	Alfa Romeo Ferrari	77	+1 lap	0
12	21	Nyck De Vries	AlphaTauri Honda RBPT	77	+1 lap	0
13	24	Zhou Guanyu	Alfa Romeo Ferrari	77	+1 lap	0
14	23	Alexander Albon	Williams Mercedes	77	+1 lap	0
15	22	Yuki Tsunoda	AlphaTauri Honda RBPT	76	+2 laps	0
16	11	Sergio Perez	Red Bull Racing Honda RBPT	76	+2 laps	0
17	27	Nico Hulkenberg	Haas Ferrari	76	+2 laps	0
18	2	Logan Sargeant	Williams Mercedes	76	+2 laps	0
19	20	Kevin Magnussen	Haas Ferrari	70	DNF	0
NC	18	Lance Stroll	Aston Martin Aramco Mercedes	53	DNF	0

Useful links

• F1.com: Race
• Wiki: Race Circuit de Monaco

Streaming & Downloads

This is not the appropriate place to request or share streams and downloads. Please do not post information about streams and downloads in this thread. Thank you.

Good causes

• 🇺🇦 Want to support Ukraine? Here's a list of charities.
• 🏳️‍🌈 Support Stonewall to help improve the lives of LGBTQ+ people.

Cockatrice-class Light Cruiser
Silhouette: 5 Speed: 3 Handling: -2
Defense: 3/2/2/2 Armor: 5
HT Threshold: 55 SS Threshold: 30
Hull Type/Class: Light CruiseCockatrice.
Manufacturer: Corellian Engineering Corporation.
Hyperdrive: Primary: Class 3, Backup: Class 14.
Navicomputer: Yes.
Sensor Range: Long.
Ship’s Complement: 5 officers and 20 enlisted. 20 B1 battledroids. 4 droidekar battledroids. 16 support and maintenance droids.
Encumbrance Capacity: 800.
Starfighter Complement: 3 vulture-class droid starfighters.
Vehicle Complement: One boarding ship, two scout airspeeders, one airspeeder shuttle.
Passenger Capacity: 10.
Consumables: 6 months.
Price/Rarity: 3.400.000 credits (R)/8.
Customization Hard Points: 2.
Weapons: One dorsal triple-linked heavy ion cannon turret [Fire Arc All; Damage 7; Critical 4; Range [Medium]; Ion, Linked 2, Slow-Firing 1].
One ventral heavy tractor beam turret [Fire Arc All; Damage -; Critical -; Range [Short]; Tractor 6].
Four forward concussive missile launcher [Fire Arc Forward; Damage 6; Critical 3; Range [Short]; Blast 4, Breech 4, Guided 3, Limited Ammo 3, Slow-Firing 1].
Three port retractable twin-linked heavy laser cannon [Fire Arc Port; Damage 6; Critical 3; Range [Short]; Linked 1].
Three starboard retractable twin-linked heavy laser cannon [Fire Arc Starboard; Damage 6; Critical 3; Range [Short]; Linked 1].
Additional Rules: Overcharged Ion Barrage - The gunner manning the heavy ion battery may opt to switch the battery to a secondary firing mode, as an action. This makes the weapon unavailable for firing this and the following two rounds as the weapon powers up. Once the battery is ready it fires with the following profile: Fire Arc All; Damage 9; Critical 4; Range [Medium]; Breech 3, Ion, Linked 2, Slow-Firing 3. Changing back to normal fire mode also requires an action and prevents the weapon from being fired for three turns.
Droid Gunner Brain Network - All a cockatrice’s weapon systems have been fitted with gunner droid brains [Gunnery 2]. The droid brains can autonomously fire the ship’s weapons or perform assist maneuvers to aid a gunner manually directing the weapon.
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Originally commissioned by the Intergalactic Banking Clan in the lead-up to the Clone Wars, the cockatrice-class light cruisers were officially intended to serve as convoy escorts. It did not take long for astute observers to notice that the specification required by the IGBC made the class a near-perfect ship if you intended to engage in piracy, rather than prevent it.
The cockatrice’s unusually potent battery of ion cannons and its high-powered tractor beam resulted in a ship that was ideal if you wanted to seize enemy vessels intact and the IGBC did indeed employ the class to “aggressive repossess” assets on a regular basis, even before hostilities escalated.
During the Clone Wars, most cockatrices were used as privateer ships, raiding the Republic’s supply lines and isolated settlements.
In the aftermath of the war, most cockatrices were either decommissioned or seized by the Imperial authorities, who mostly assigned the ships to customs or law enforcement roles. However, at least 50 remain in private hands. Some are used by local governments as they where officially intended, to protect shipping from brigands, but most are in the hands of various criminal enterprises.

RLCS 22-23: Europe

Regional #2	Day	UTC
Rounds 1 & 2	Fri	15:00
Playoffs - Top 8	Sat	15:00
Playoffs - Top 4	Sun	15:00	Today
RLCS 2022-23 Guide

Coverage

Official Bracket
Liquipedia / / ShiftRLE.gg / / Pickstop.gg

Streams

Platforms	Link
Twitch	RocketLeague
YouTube	Rocket League Esports

Results

Elimination		Liquipedia Bracket
▼ Upper Final		(Bo7)
Karmine Corp	0 - 3	Team Vitality
▼ Lower Semifinal		(Bo7)
Team BDS	16:00 UTC	Moist Esports
▼ Lower Final		(Bo7)
TBD	17:00 UTC	TBD
▼ Grand Final		(Bo7)
TBD	18:00 UTC	TBD

Standings

Place	Prize	Team	RLCS Points
1st	$30,000	TBD	+24
2nd	$20,000	TBD	+20
3rd	$10,000	TBD	+16
4th	$8,000	TBD	+13
5th-6th	$6,000	Guild Esports	+11 (22)
5th-6th	$6,000	Oxygen Esports	+11 (101)
7th-8th	$4,000	Team Liquid	+9 (135)
7th-8th	$4,000	PSG TUNDRA	+9 (61)

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Have various games for sale. Mostly loose rn, but some CIB/with case. Prices include shipping, but if total order under $15 will have to send out snail mail. Got lots more I need to list that I will update with over time. Thank you!
Pictures: https://imgur.com/a/JG8aVoC
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Gameboy Advance (GBA) Games:
Counter Punch $48 Loose
Defender $7 loose
Magical Quest $11 Loose
Magical Quest 2 $14 Loose
Pitfall Mayan Adventure $10 Loose
Scooby Doo Mystery Mayhem $10 Loose
Simpsons Road Rage $10 Loose
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Gameboy Color (GBC) Games:
All-Star Baseball 2000 $4 loose
F1 Race (GB) $6 loose
Jim Henson's Muppets $6 loose
Nicktoons Racing $5 loose
Ms. Pac-Man Special Color Edition $9 loose
Power Spike Pro Beach Volleyball $5 loose with manual
Pro Pool $5 loose
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Nintendo DS Games:
Drawn To Life: The Next Chapter $6 loose
Murder in Venice $6 loose
New York Times Crosswords $5 loose
Plants vs Zombies $10 loose
Ratatouille $7 loose
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Playstation Portable (PSP) Games:
Armored Core: Formula Front Extreme Battle $18 loos
eAssassin's Creed: Bloodlines $9 loose
Blitz Overtime $14 Loose, replacement clear shel
lBurnout Dominator $9 loose
Castlevania: The Dracula X Chronicles $20 loose
Dissidia Final Fantasy $10 Loose
Hot Shos Golf Open Tee $5 loose
Kingdom of Paradise $6 loose
Mega Man Maverick Hunter X $17 loose
Metal gear Acid $15 loose
NFL Street 3 $15 Loose, replacement clear shell
Patapon $6 Loose, replacement clear shell
Rockband Unplugged $10 Loose
The Sims 2: Castaway $11 loose
Star Wars Battlefront II $9 loose, replacement clear shell
Star Wars Lethal Alliance $11 Loose, replacement clear shell
Thrillville off the Rails $6 loose, replacement clear shell
Valkyrie Profile: Lenneth $24 loose
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Playstation 2 (PS2) Games:
And 1 Streetball $7 loose
Crash Tag Team Racing $8 loose
Fight Night Round 3 (gh) $7 loose
Mortal Kombat Deception $8 loose
Need for Speed Underground 2 (GH) $11 Loose
Simpsons Hit and Run (gh) $32 Loose
Shadow of Rome $17 loose
Sly 3 Honor Among Thieves $7 loose
Suikoden III $25 Loose
Wild Arms Alter Code: F $85 Loose
WWE Smack down Here Comes the Pain $30 Loose
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Playstation 3 (PS3) Games:
Alice Madness Returns $32 CIB With Online Pass Code (idk if redeemed or unexpired)
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Legend Of Heroes: Trails Of Cold Steel II $50 SEALED
(some yellowing on plastic but game looks pristine underneath)
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SNES Games:
Mighy Morphin Power Rangers $20 loose, blockbuster label on cart
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Wii Games:
New Super Mario Bros $20 loose
Wii sports $20 comes in original cardboard sleeve
White Wii Remote with Nunchuck and Sleeve $12
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Wii U Games:
New Super Mario Bros. U + New Super Luigi U $18 loose

Hey folks, wanted to share my experience in case anybody else is unknowingly going through the same thing. I will start off by saying that I'm not suggesting that the cervical spine is the cause of sleep apnea. However, in my experience the cervical spine has had a big impact on my sleep efficiency and how my body responds to my sleep apnea.
I've struggled with insomnia caused by my sleep apnea. There are times I wake up at 3am with my heart racing from sleep apnea and my body simply won't fall back to sleep again, no matter what I try. My body is trying to protect myself from the apnea by staying awake. It works, but damn I'm tired.
I've had neck issues for a few years now and, in addition to physical therapy, every so often I'd go into the chiropractor. A couple weeks ago I went into the chiropractor and complained that my cervical spine felt off. We talked a bit and then he performed a careful adjustment on my C1 (atlas) while using the drop table to minimize pressure. HOLY COW.
The nights prior to the adjustment I got between 3-6 hours of sleep per night, with about 1-1.25 hours of REM sleep per night. The 3 nights after the adjustment I got over 8 hours of sleep per night on average with 2.5-3 hours of REM sleep!
After those few nights my sleep went back to its normal crappy state. I went back to the chiropractor and he noticed that the atlas was out of place again so he performed the adjustment again. Bam, that night I got over 8 hours again with nearly 2.5 hours of REM sleep!
This has made me want to investigate how I can create longer-lasting results with physical therapy specifically for cervical instability. I wanted to share in case any of you might be experiencing the same thing.

Age 36
Sex Female
Height 5’6
Weight 165
Race White
Duration of complaint 4 weeks
Location United States
Any existing relevant medical issues POTS, other undiagnosed symptoms from covid vax that have mostly resolved
Current medications
Include a photo if relevant
I had an epidural for labor 4 weeks ago. When the catheter was placed I felt a lot of zings and zaps and it was pretty uncomfortable as it was being placed. When the epidural anesthesia was administered I felt the cold sensation go UP my neck rather than down my spine and then immediately my ears plugged/blocked.
The anesthesiologist had told me to tell him if I heard ringing in my ears or a metallic taste. I didn't say anything to him about the ears because I didn't experience any of that.
I didn't notice anything else out of the ordinary and the epidural worked for labor.
When I left the hospital the next day I noticed I was experiencing vertigo and continue to. I feel like a magnet being sucked into the ground and I feel unbalanced. When I am up and walking around I also get a very lightheaded spacey feeling, along with the vertigo despite blood pressure and blood labs being fine. I have POTS, but this is not at all how my POTS presents for me when it flares. I also now have an intermittent mild high pitched tinnitus and eye floaters in the left eye which is new for me. The vertigo and spacey feelings subside when I sit or lay down and get worse the longer I am up. I also have a pressure headache. It is not painful, but feels like my head is being squeezed.
Is it possible the anesthesia went to the wrong place given I felt it go up my neck and then had an immediate blocked ears sensation? Did I react poorly to it?
I have experienced a boat rocking sensation after the covid vax with a new onset of POTS and other undiagnosed symptoms that had mostly all resolved aside from the POTS, but the boat rocking sensation was not nearly as intense or continuous as this and I didn’t feel spacey or out of it.
I have read though that local anesthetic can add insult to injury to an already vulnerable nerve. I wonder if I had a vulnerable nerve and it flared it plus more?
Or is this more likely to be a dural puncture resulting in a CSF leak? Why would my ears have blocked up immediately though with administration of the anesthesia if this were the case? Wouldn't it take time for the CSF fluid to leak resulting in a blocked ears sensation?
Would love any thoughts on this while I continue to get work ups by my own docs. Thank you!

RLCS 22-23: Sub-Saharan Africa

Regional #2	Day	UTC
Rounds 1 & 2	Fri	15:00
Playoffs - Top 8	Sat	15:00	Today
Playoffs - Top 4	Sun	15:00
RLCS 2022-23 Guide

Coverage

Official Bracket
Liquipedia / / ShiftRLE.gg

Streams

Platforms	Link
Twitch	ACGL_Alpha

Results

Elimination	UTC	Liquipedia Bracket
▼ Upper Final		(Bo7)
Limitless	15:00 UTC	Nixuh
▼ Lower Bracket Semifinal		(Bo7)
French class	16:00 UTC	Pirates Exdee
▼ Lower Final		(Bo7)
TBD	17:00 UTC	TBD
▼ Grand Final		(Bo7)
TBD	18:00 UTC	TBD

Standings

Place	Prize	Team	RLCS Points
1st	$6,000	TBD	+24
2nd	$4,000	TBD	+20
3rd	$2,400	TBD	+16
4th	$2,000	TBD	+13
5th-6th	$1,600	CosmiCo Esports	+11 (15)
5th-6th	$1,600	AIPX Gaming	+11 (66)
7th-8th	$1,200	White Rabbit Gaming	+9 (81)
7th-8th	$1,200	Lupo Rosso	+9 (19)

[The Extra Reddit Fantasy League]

• Rules
• You can play for just one race, or enter as many races as possible and try to win the general classification.

Mercan'Tour Classic Alpes-Maritimes (1.1)
Your team should have 8 riders!

• Official Website
• Official Twitter
• Parcours
• Startlist: PCS, FirstCycling

Submissions should be formatted like this:

* (x2.0) Rider 1 etc. * (x1.8) * (x1.6) * (x1.4) * (x1.2) * (x1.0) * (x1.0) * (x1.0) 

Please arrange your comments like the list above (you can make bullets with the \ key in markdown mode). Please include both the first and last name of the riders - you might be x2.0 the mighty Juraj Sagan and the "bot" thinks you meant the other Sagan.*
Deadline
The deadline will be roughly when the race starts on Tuesday, May 30th at 11:22 CEST

May 2023 Federal Election - Crikey's Winners and Losers

The May 2023 Federal Election is all wrapped up, and Australia has seen the return of BellmanTGM as Prime Minister, where he is likely hoping to serve more than 21 days as he did in February 2018. We saw a joint ticket run by ANCAP and LNP, and a surge of independent success! Crikey is here to dissect the results, and look at the winners, the losers, and the bronze medal winners.

Winner: Australian National Capitalist Anti-Authoritarian Party

House Result: 5 Seats (+3), 21.7% (+14.2) Senate Result: 2 Seats (+2), 55.2%* (+6.1) ± February 2023 Election *Joint ticket run with LNP, changes from last election is combined LNP+ANCAP vote.
Without a doubt, the resounding winner of the May 2023 Federal Election was the Australian National Capitalist Anti-Authoritarian Party. Picking up 5 house seats, and 21.7% of the national house vote, they have more than doubled their house representation, and increased their national vote more than any other party this election. Post-election, they gained a seat from Cookie_Monster765 who resigned from the leadership of the Commonwealth Party to sit as an independent, but this was short-lived, and he now serves Sydney as an ANCAP MP. Gaining confidence and supply from Independent MPs in porridge (Brisbane), and riley8583 (Cowper), ANCAP are enjoying a single party cabinet, severing their coalition with the LNP. Speaking of the LNP, ANCAP ran a joint ticket from the LNP, gaining their first 2 senators, and ending the left dominated senate, which will create significant legislative ease in passing the government's agenda. Also surprisingly, historical left leaning figures such as jq8678 have been prominent MPs for ANCAP, with an upset victory in “Magnificent” Moncrieff. jq8678 has previously served as a Social Democrat Minister, and was a founding member of the Green Left Party in 2021, but appears committed to the cause of "Freedom and Liberty".

Loser: Commonwealth Party of Australia

House Result: 2 Seats (-5), 10.7% (-20.6) Senate Result: 1 Seats (-1), 19.6% (-12.7) ± February 2023 Election
As ANCAP were resounding winners, the Commonwealth Party was the resounding losers of the May 2023 Federal Election. More than halving their house representation, and losing a third of their national vote in the house was a shocking election result. Safe seats like Melbourne fell due to the lack of a presence from incumbent buttsforpm. Hotham was another loss, however the extremely active BellmanTGM was an tough match for incumbent Adiaus. The two seats won by the Commonwealth Party were Sydney and Lingiari, in relatively non-competitive contests.
However the biggest lost for the Commonwealth Party didn't even occur at the ballot box. After these election results, Leader Cookie_Monster765 resigned and left the party. Their remaining MP, Jordology505 was next in line for leader, but after being elected for 5 hours he resigned, leaving the CPA without any house representation. Their final MP MLastCelebration is now leader but questions surround the longevity of the party. Another active member, former MP Adiaus jumped a possibly sinking ship with Jordology505 in order to join the newly formed Australian Labour Party, which brings us to the next winner of the election.

Winner: A United Left

We don't have election results for this, but after what can be described as a disappointing result for the Socialists, they have merged with the left leaning members of the Commonwealth Party to form a centre-left Australian Labour Party. Socialist Leader TheSensibleCentre stepped down from the leadership of the new party, with Jordology505 heading the party, followed by Adiaus as Deputy and model-slater as Party Chair. A party that can now concentrate a focus on the right wing government is a win for a united, and previously struggling left. While some may point out that Country Labor Party still exists, it understood there is an agreement between the parties to maximise electoral efficiency and not have left of centre candidates in competitive races against each other.

Winner: Independents

House Result: 3 Seats (+2), 17.4% (+10.0) ± February 2023 Election
If all the Independents were one party, the Independents would be the second largest party in parliament! While their election result was a success, this was strengthened by the defection of porriidge to the crossbench, increasing their total to 4 seats. However it's a good thing that independents aren't one party, because showstealer1829 took to twitter to let porriidge know that "F*** off. We [The crossbench] don't want you." Make of that what you will! However, a solid increase in the independent's vote and representation in the house, and with 2 independents providing C&S to the government, independents will be having a large say in how our nation will be governing over the following term. A win for independents, and likely a win for their respective electorates as they create a list of demands from the government!

Bronze Medal: Country Labor

House Result: 2 Seats (+1), 14.9% (+5.3) Senate Result: 1 Seats (-), 9.0% (+2.4) ± February 2023 Election
Crikey has a new award to hand out, the Bronze Medal! As the name suggests, these groups didn't suffer a loss, but it couldn't be called an outright win. The Country Labor Party enjoyed the comeback gain of long term MP for Capricornia, ARichTeaBiscuit, and the hold of Denison for Inadorable (who is definitely NOT a communist). While the House Result does look impressive, it is an inflated figure given that the CLP tend to run in populous rural seats, and national polls during the campaign have CLP support around 2.5%. CLP Leader Gregor_The_Beggar was re-elected once again, continuing his tenure as Senator for NSW since July 2020. While the CLP are not the political force they once were under the Greens-CLP Government, they aren't disappearing anytime soon, and this election confirmed such.

Loser: Income Taxation

The May 2023 Election has brought a party into government that seeks the eventual abolition of income taxation and a Senate controlled by the ANCAP and LNP. The previous LNP-ANCAP Government failed to get a large tax cut through parliament last term, due to the left wing senate, and it is almost certain that a similar package will be introduced and this time probably passed. Income Taxation is a loser of this election!

Bronze Medal: Liberal National Party

House Result: 3 Seats (-2), 14.9% (-12.3) Senate Result: 3 Seats (+1), 55.2%* (+6.1) ± February 2023 Election *Joint ticket run with ANCAP, changes from last election is combined LNP+ANCAP vote.
Prime Minister Griffonomics set out to "Sack the Senate" and undoubtedly that is what he has done. The Senate has been swept by the Right, holding 5/8 seats, and paving the way, finally for a right wing legislative agenda. However Griffonomics will not be at the helm for this agenda, and not even on the government benches as the ANCAP have revealed an entire ANCAP cabinet, relying on the support of independents rather than the LNP. While their Senate gains did not fall short of what the Liberal Nationals hope, they saw a loss of a few seats in the House, however the combined ANCAP-LNP seat total was still 8, the majority number. ANCAP became what many thought was just the senior party in government, with the LNP as a minority partner, but upon leaving the LNP, porriidge attributed it to the high likelihood that the LNP "would find itself in opposition".
If porridge's statement holds, this will shelve the left and centre onto the crossbench, with right wing parties holding government and opposition. It is hard to think there is much of the ANCAP agenda that the LNP would oppose, given their previous coalition, but it is surely disappointing for the LNP to lack a voice inside the new government. For the reason that the LNP have achieved perhaps policy goals, and "Sacked the Senate", but have failed to form government is the reason that Crikey awards them the 2nd Bronze Medal of this article.
That's all from us folks. he next term is hopefully one full of newsworthy things to write about, or we'll be out of a job! We hope you enjoyed today's article, please let us know!! (Also if you see any errors I am very tired)

Part 2 of “The Exterminators RELOADED!”
A Fanfic of u/SpacePaladin15’s work “The nature of Predators” Thank you for the story!
IMPORTANT NOTICE. I AM WRITING ABOUT 247 EPISODES OF THE EXTERMINATORS. ANY IDEAS WOULD BE GREATLY WELCOMED! AS DETAILED OR NOT AS YOU WANT, I WILL CREDIT YOU FOR ANY HELP GIVEN!
---
Memory transcription subject: Henry, Venlil Primary School Student
Sylvan’s dad gestured for us to get the show set up while he walked into the kitchen. I couldn’t bring myself to sit still as the sound of popcorn in the microwave bounced through the house. Sylvan threw himself next to me as the annoyingly long series of logos started to parade through the screen.
“C’mon Dad! It’s starting!” We both held our arms up and caught a bag of popcorn as Mr. Smith copied Sylvan and threw himself on the couch. As Sylvan started to juggle the burning hot bag I started to mockingly mimic him. “Oh shut up! You and your built-in oven mitts!”
I batted Sylvan in the face who didn’t hesitate to try and hold off my attacks by smooshing me down into the chair. We both stopped when the Deep heavy beat of the Exterminators RELOADED started to play. This time though the beat didn’t stop as the opening sequence ended. Instead it played dully in the background like we were hearing it through a wall.
Friotetzali stepped into the scene and sauntered his way through an alley. He stopped and looked at a poster hanging on the wall. It showed a picture of a carrot and tomato with forward facing eyes and silly little stick arms cowering in fear of a ravenous looking Venlil. Plastered above it was the episode's title! “THE HERBIVOROUS BEASTS FROM BEYOND THE STARS!!!”
Frio let out a light chuckle as his tail curled in delight. “Oh that looks hilarious. Gotta remember to go see that.” He gently shook his head as he continued to walk and drop into an indifferent attitude as he approached a lone Mazic by a door. The two stared at each other for a moment before the Mazic slowly turned and opened the door.
With a slow and droning voice he addressed our head investigator. “He’s waiting for you by the dance floor. Doubt you’ll miss him. Welcome back Frio. Try not to burn the place down.” As the door opened the tune picked back up and was almost deafening. Frio walked down the dark staircase and eventually into a room filled with neon signs decorating the walls, strobe lights, lasers, and dozens of people dancing everywhere.
Our Harchen Hero cut through the crowd and haze like a fish through water before finally sitting down at a table with a rather… sleazy looking Gojid. “FRIO! MY OLD PAL! Have a seat! Let me get ya a drink!” The greased back fur of the Gojid just looked out of place as he waved for the servers to bring colorful beverages with little umbrellas over.
I honestly couldn’t make out any words that came out of the Gojid’s mouth after that. The dude just seemed to talk and not say any words. But eventually Frio took a slow sip from his drink and turned his head to stare down the greasy porcupine who’s quills extended in a little bit of fear.
“Cut the crap Genseng. I want to know why by Inatala’s tits you’d think it's a good idea to smuggle terran animals here!” He slammed a pawfull of photos on the table. Each one showed the greasy Gojid buying and selling small animals like rabbits and chickens.
Genseng sputtered and pouted “COME ON! I haven’t done anything that puts anyone at risk! I just sell human’s xeno-safe pets! A bunny never ate a Dossur! Don’t you want humans to take care of the petting addiction on things that want to be pet?” Despite my body telling me this guy was bad news, I couldn’t help but agree. I’ve been ‘pet’ more times than I would like by strange humans… and a few Venlil… and one Kolshian… and I ran away from the Mazic.
Frio sat back in his chair and huffed. “Then WHY have I found NO civilians with one of your pets?” This time he slapped down a paper list of names and places that clearly documented each and every business he sold animals to.
The scumbag sat there with a look of shock on his face and started to sputter out several noncommittal and contradictory statements. ALl the while Frio stared at his “friend” with more and more disgust. Eventually Genseng just sighed, stood up, and shouted. "GUN! HES GOT A GUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!” and bolted for the back door as screaming began to fill the room
Frio just casually stood up and watched that douchebag flee! He pulled out his badge and announced to the crowd. “FALSE ALARM! FALSE ALARM! OFFICER FRIOTETZALI, HERE ON OFFICIAL BUSINESS OF THE AVALON CITY POLICE! REMAIN CALM YOU ARE IN NO DANGER!”
I couldn’t understand why he was just standing there as the bad guy ran away! The camera cut to Genseng who was sprinting full force down a narrow hall dodging all manner of obstacles like it was an action movie only for it to cut back to Frio slowly taking a sip of his drink!
Again it cut back Genseng huffing and wheezing as he sprinted through his own shipping operation. The only pauses he took were to open up cages causing a small whirlwind of feathers and bunnies to start in the warehouse. Yet Frio started to casually talk to the people in the room. He just slowly went around reassuring everyone that everything was fine and why he was here.
As I sat there in disbelief that he’d just let the bastard run away Genseng rounded a corner to see his getaway truck. Only to step around the corner and get punched squarely in the gut by Iloralia who was hiding there.
“Come on Genseng? Couldn’t you do something original? This is starting to get boring!” Ilo extended a cattle prod and let the end buzz with electricity as an Extermination Officer van pulled up behind her.
The Gojid let out raspy breaths. “Should have- … figured- … he’d send his- … BITCH! To wait in the alley!” The sleazy man sucked that insult back in when Ilo pressed the business end of her cattle prod to his throat.
“Shut the fuck up. You have the right to remain silent, but for your sake… I hope you’re smart enough to use it!” Ilo’s tail waved behind her with delight as Sephon climbed out of the van with a Gojid arrestor vest to cover Genseng’s quills and bind his arms.
I jumped as the video smash-cut to Sephon slamming down piece after piece of evidence on an interrogation room table in front of a nervous Gojid and his exhausted human lawyer. The angelic Tasamine sat on her perch gently drinking some tea as our perturbed Venlil explained each and every paper and photo that he threw on the table.
“Finally we have you on felony tax evasion. You do know you have to declare ALL sources of income right?” Genseng sheepishly looked to his lawyer, who just sat there with a defeated look on his face. “You are looking at forty years behind bars for this Genseng! FORTY!”
Tasamine let her voice coo out over her cup of tea. “We aren’t going to do you any favours over the tax stuff. The IRS is over our jurisdiction on that, BUT we are prepared to drop the rest of the charges.”
Genseng’s lawyer appeared to wake up in an instant and elbowed his client before he could open his filthy mouth. “So what do you want from my client in return for dropping the charges you have against him?”
Tas let out a little smile that set butterflies to flight in my stomach. “We want everyone that Tas sold animals to. And we do mean EVERYONE.”
Sephon started to pace back and forth as the Gojid and lawyer talked amongst themselves. Eventually Genseng relented and turned to our heroes. “Ok… SO I technically never really sold to a person per say… BUT I kept really good papers on all the businesses I did sell to!”
The conversation started to dull out as the camera began to pan back and into the observation room with Frio, Ilo, and a rather small Mazic. Frio stood stoically silent, his paw held gently under his jaw, lost in thought. Ilo was typing away on the computer crosschecking every business Genseng sold out.
The Mazic took a step forward. His badge now clearly showing that he was the Chief of the Avalon City Police. “I know those businesses… Why would he be selling pets to…” The Chief huffed and stormed out of the observation room leaving Frio and Ilo slightly confused only to watch with an ounce of shock as the Police Chief walked into the interrogation room.
“YOU FUCKING IDIOT! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU HAVE DONE?” Genseng recoiled away from the angry Chief as his lawyer was trying to figure out what was happening. “YOU HAVE BEEN SELLING HUMAN PETS AS FOOD TO HUMANS! YOU KNOW LESS THAN ONE PERCENT OF HUMANS EVEN EAT ONCE-LIVE MEAT! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT! MOST HUMANS GET VIOLENTLY ILL AT THE THOUGHT OF IT AND STRAIGHT VIOLENT IF TRICKED INTO IT! IF THIS GETS OUT THERE WILL BE RIOTS!”
Genseng’s lawyer slowly looked to his client with a look of anger and despair plastered on his face. The sleazy man just kinda shrugged. “I didn’t make them buy it!”
“BUT YOU DIDN’T TELL THEM WHERE YOU GOT THE MEAT FROM DID YOU?”
“no?”
“OF COURSE YOU DIDN’T ‘CAUSE, HOW THEN, WOULD YOU GET RID OF YOUR UNWANTED ANIMALS?”
“HEY! I’VE GOT A GUY WHO TAKES THEM IN! I MAKE SURE EVERYTHING IS HUMANE AND SAFE FOR CONSUMPTION AND ANYTHING UNWANTED GO TO THAT GUY! OK? NO MONEY TRANSACTION! … I think he ships them back to Earth or something. No unethical stuff… except maybe selling Once-live as Cloned… but that isn’t that bad! Humans only just considered Rabbits to be on par with dogs!”
The Chief of Police just stood there menacingly as the ever beautiful Tas asked a question. “Who is this man you give the animals to?”
Genseng slowly walked back to his seat. “I don’t have a name. Just some dude wearing the old face hiding masks and a Pleather trench coat. Kinda creepy and usually lets the fat Venlil do the talking, but they scratch my back I scratch thier’s.”
The screen faded to black before coming back to their conference room and joined by the Chief of Police. “So you think this individual is the same one behind the Sheep Operation?”
Ilo sat up in her chair. “It seems to meet up with his M.O. of undermining food production.”
Tas brought a pair of population maps up on their projector. “Just looking at the before and after, the invasive rabbit population was miniscule at best. We had been doing a great job of catching them faster than they could repopulate. At least until their population unpredictably exploded into the hundreds of thousands.”
She swapped out the maps for a single one that showed several areas circled in red. “DNA testing on the rabbits has shown that they aren’t spreading naturally. One population has no genetic relation to the others even though their areas overlap. It has to be someone introducing rabbits in waves to different locals.”
The Chief slowly shook his head. “Do we have any clues as to where the masked man is?”
Frio’s tail curled in delight. “Why yes! Yes we do! He has a meetup with my good buddy Genseng who desperately doesn’t want to spend the next forty years in jail.”
The small Mazic let out a low and insidious laugh “OH! I think I know where you are going with this. You have my support. Let's get this sting operation set up!”
In an instant the day flew by and night rose over the docks of Avalon City. Genseng drove down the roads and pulled around the corner of a large warehouse situated nearby. The sleazy man looked oddly calm. I wouldn’t be surprised if this isn’t his first time ratting.
Overlooking the docks from the warehouse was our team of heroes. Tas had set up a network of monitors and was observing the operation. Several disguised vans were parked nearby filled with Extermination Officers all biting to get a hold of their quarry.
Frio walked over and placed a paw on Tasamine’s wing, before speaking into a recorder. “Looking good Gen. Looks like I misplaced the paperwork on those charges. Get through this and I won’t have time to go looking for it!”
Gen let out a small chuckle. “Hey Frio… Do you miss when we were kids? Getting into trouble. Scraping enough money together to buy lunch when our parents couldn’t afford to feed us?”
Frio took a step back from the monitors. “You said that in a really weird way… but yeah. Just the two of us. Sometimes we were delinquents scamming someone out of five credits and sometimes we were the heroes helping people out. Guess we took different paths…”
The greasy Gojid leaned back in the driver seat of his van. “I- … I am kinda tired of living Frio… It’s just… One deal after another with barely enough money to get from one job to the next… Do- … Do you think I could get a job working with you guys?”
It almost looked like Frio was going to cry as his eyes watered up. “Well… we are a man down at the moment, but my team only hires experienced individuals. It would be hard work, but if you joined as an apprentice and applied yourself… I think you could make it.”
Genseng sat and fiddled with his paws for a few moments. “Even with my arrest record?”
“We are the Exterminators not the City Police. I doubt there isn’t a single one of us that hasn't done something that would get us blacklisted by them!”
Gen let out a light laugh. “Ah good point! They hired you! Well I’d- Wait. He's here.”
A long black limousine pulled up around the corner. Slowly and silently stopping beside them. Frio took a step back. “Alright everyone. It's go time. Gen, get ready to duck down if they open fire.”
With almost perfect unison every unmarked van and cruiser lit up with Yellow and Orange lights and started to race towards the Limo. But with a heart stopping ‘BWOOOOOM’ the Limo exploded into an inferno, sending metal flying through the docks at high speeds.
Gen’s voice screamed over the radio for a brief moment before falling silent.
The next sounds we heard were of a heart monitor. Frio sat at the bedside of what I assumed to be Genseng. His body was covered entirely in bandages, with tubes running into his head and arms. Wires tracked his vital signs and, while steady, didn’t look like they broadcasted good news.
Frio looked up to see Ilo leaning in the doorway. “The limo was automated. No one on board. Mask either knew it was a setup or intended to end Genseng one way or the other.” She slowly walked over to Frio and nuzzled the side of his head. “I talked with the Doctors. They think he’ll make it. Might be a few years, and he will have to learn how to do most things, but he will live.”
Ilo forced her way into awkwardly cuddling Frio. After a small moment of resisting he accepted the embrace and leaned back. “How are we on tracking down the leads?”
She somehow managed to wrap herself around Frio as she quietly responded. “The limo was a dead end. Everything was bought from scrap and assembled off-grid. Camera networks were wiped clean enough that even Tas couldn’t scrape something off of the hard drives. DNA results on the rabbits gave us enough to work with Earth and track down the suppliers on that side, but they were using Genseng as a scapegoat and intermediary for all of it. I don’t think he even realized that the man he was ‘giving’ rabbits to was the man that arranged for him to be able to buy them in the first place.”
Frio wrapped his arms around her. “So this whole operation was basically a money laundering scam with rabbits. They scarred him for life just to- to-” Tears ran down his cheeks as the pair embraced each other. The credits started to roll over the sounds of a heart monitor slowly pinging on. Gentle sobbing slowly faded away as the sound of claws on tile echoed through the speakers.
A rather portly Venlil was flanked on both sides by massive looking dogs. Sylvan’s Dad pointed out those where Karelian Bear Dogs. Bred to actually hunt one of Earth’s apex predators. The Fat Venlil, or Chublil as Sylvan said, walked into an immaculate office, where a man with a silvered mask and brown trench coat sat.
“Sir? Operation Clean House is over. The results are one Gojid launderer hospitalized. He is expected to recover in a few years. When the exterminators watching him clear out an agent will enter with an air-filled syringe and fake death by heart-attack. As you expected the last meetup was a sting operation. Police remain slightly aware of your presence.”
A robotic voice came from the man. “Good work Gavreg. Did you enjoy your trip to Earth?”
“Yessir. You were right. Bear meat is simply divine when prepared correctly.”
WHAT THE FUCK. WHY WOULD HE KNOW WHAT THAT TASTES LIKE?!?
“Glad to hear it. As for the Gojid, I think he’s gotten the message on what happens to people who cross us. Send him a normal fruit basket when he regains consciousness. Have it say… Sorry you got fired! Take a siesta!”
“Very well sir. Just to be clear, hold off on permanently silencing him?”
“Hrm… Yes. He was always amusing to work with.”
“Very well sir. If there is nothing else, I shall take my leave.”
The Fat Venlil turned and walked out of the room. Ending the episode and leaving the three of us sitting on the couch.
“You know Loural is going to throw a fit if she finds out we let both Sylvan and Henry watch this!”
I wasn’t proud but at least the humans screamed louder than I did.
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Special thanks to u/Dinomannick for the prompt
"I got a few ideas for the show. How about a few episodes have them dealing with invasive earth species on alien worlds, brought there for zoos, rich blokes pet, criminals, whatever. They have either catch or kill all of them before their establishing breeding populations and have the cane toad/rabbit problem like down-under. Think it might be interesting enough for future space TV?"
I hope this lived up to your expectations, and the bunny boom won't be relegated to just this episode either.
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Links are still broken cause reddit is more like brokeit... Will get around to fixing them soon, real life has been kinda hectic
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Previous!

Analysis of Search Incidents and Lost Person Behavior in Yosemite National Park
Referenced from Lost Person Behavior by Jared Doke.
Yosemite National Park is an American national park in the state of California.
Crampton (1988) described a continuum of being lost with two distinct degrees of lostness.
The 1st, and arguably the most serious, is defined as “unknown lost”.
This occurs when a person believed that they knew where they were, when in fact they didn't.
This could happen to a hiker if they arrived at a diverging trail and took one path, but misidentified the one they should have otherwise taken.
The hiker may continue on in a denial process, fitting the terrain to their expectations, rejecting any discrepancies.
Eventually, they will have realized the mistake they had made, and only then can they take action to correct their errors.
Lost people generally have two goals: to try to find their way or to try to be found (Cornell and Heth 1999).
Yosemite National Park is unlike any other place on earth. It has its own distinct geology,
One must first understand the environment, hazards, and underlying processes that influence a lost hikers' decisions.
The geology, geomorphology, climate, weather, hydrology, vegetation, fauna, history, park visitation, and potential hazards are all relevent here.
The data indicates that people don't get lost at random locations, rather they get lost after they arrive at pre-known locations.
In Yosemite Valley these “hot spot” areas exist at the Yosemite Valley rim, Glacier Point, Sentinel Dome, the Badger Pass Ski area as well as a few trailheads.
Conversely, lost hikers are also found at pre-known locations as well.
The same significant “hot spot” areas.
On the Pianista trail, River 1/508 would be an example of a well known location.
Where a diverging trail exists, is after crossing river 2, there is an open paddock.

• The prevalance of hikers becoming lost -

In Yosemite Valley, 45% of hikers, whilst present on the trail, had identified themselves as being lost or agreed that they didn't know where they were.
This figure should probably be higher, but hikers are often too embarrased to admit to being lost.

• Contributing factors that caused hikers to become lost -

Main Contributing Factor n %
Lost Trail Accidentally 16.9%
Failed to research the trail and identify a planned route 11.7%
Miscalculation of time or distance of trail 9.4%
Darkness 7.0%
Left Trail Intentionally 5.6%
Insufficient Information/Error in Judgment 5.6%
Snow on Ground 5.2%
Wrong Trail Taken 4.7%
Fatigue/Physical Condition 4.2%
Steep Terrain 2.8%
Emotionally Upset 2.4%
Ground Level Fall 1.9%

• Successfulness of lost mitigation strategies -

For the most part, the lost incidents had a favorable outcome.
Of the 213 incidents, 68% resulted in the lost person/group being found uninjured and 23% were resolved by self-rescue.
10 incidents concluded with the subject being found injured, 9 subjects were found deceased, and 2 were found with medical problems.
Types of lost mitigation strategies used
In Yosemite, lost hikers who were in an active state of lostness typically attempted to follow a linear feature, in order to reorient themselves, or to become found.
Route Traveling 41.9%
Staying Put 25.7%
Backtracking 16.2%
Random Traveling 5.4%
View Enhancing 4.1%
Route Sampling 2.7%
Direction Traveling 2.7%
Doing Nothing 1.4%
The goal of Yosemite's PSAR program is to “help visitors avoid the need to be rescued by providing education about the hazards of hiking, and the time and equipment necessary to complete a planned hike
One of the most promising aspects of this report was the realization that watersheds may be used to predict the found locations for lost subjects.
A watershed is an area of land that drains all the streams and rainfall to a common outlet such as the outflow of a reservoir, mouth of a bay, or any point along a stream channel.
Watersheds are often used to draw search segments because ridges and streams provide natural borders for searchers in the field.
Kris and Lisanne very much underestimated their hike. It wasn't a pleasant afternoon trip, it was described as a walk in the park.
Alot of people posted to forums after this incident, and it's interesting to read the most revevent statements from 2014 that were the most accurate and well thought out:
"I've studied this case a great deal, and I think it's very possible that Kris and Lisanne didn't know that once you reach the summit, you're supposed to turn around and go down the way you came up. The El Pianista trail does not end at the summit"
"I believe they thought you're supposed to follow the trail down the other side of the mountain, and they probably also thought that it would take about as long to get down that side as it took them to get up the other side - about three hours."
"They might not have even been truly lost when they made their first 9-11 calls; they may have gotten lost only later in the evening, by travelling desperately in low light and darkness in an attempt to avoid spending the night in the jungle, perhaps leaving the trail to take "shortcuts."?"
"It is important to note that there are many paths made by the indigenous Ngobe tribes people, leading away from the official path, even locals and tour guides get regularly lost there and there are no signs that are indicating which path is the right one."
"These paths are well known for being incredibly dangerous (narrow, steep ascents/descents, slippy mud track and dangerous rope bridges) and are even avoided by the indigenous tribe at all costs."
"At this point it was already unlikely that they would meet another person there, since every local knows that they are otherwise risking their lives, by deviating onto these less traveled pathways."
"Oh, it's VERY possible to get lost on the El Pianista, and I'm speaking from experience! I hiked this same trail and got lost just 3 weeks ago while on vacation - signs at the base next to the restaurant even say it's prohibited to hike unless for scientific purposes. You have to cross two streams, and halfway up the trail it becomes practically nonexistent - once I got to the top, about a 3 hour hike without seeing one person, I lost track of the trail and lost my mind within seconds, and began running downhill completely lost - All the vegetation made it impossible to walk at times, I had to climb, crawl and scoot downhill for Two hours before I eventually wandered into someone's property and yelled for help."
"People do get lost. Sometimes fog can blanket the area and there's no visibility. A heavy rain can wash out trails. There can be confusion with game trails, because they are pathways that give the hiker the false impression that they are navicable."
Off The Beaten Path – Cerro de la Muerta
Consisting of steep, narrow curves and countless potholes, the mountain roads would be somewhat less hazardous if not fully submersed in fog. Due to its altitude, Cerro de la Muerte temperatures rise and fall to both day and night extremes.
Before Costa Rica had a lot of roads, people braved the treacherous mountain trails barefoot, on treks lasting three or four days, to secure supplies for their homes and livestock.
For many, Cerro de la Muerte was the worst part of a journey, many people didn't survive it.
With temperatures often below freezing, many travelers died of hypothermia along the trail or got sick and died of pneumonia later on, assuming they survived the frequent landslides and didn’t fall off any of the cliffs etc.
Sunburn danger here is higher than normal, owing to the thin clear air.
The road is usually open all year round, but flash floods, landslides, narrow curves, and steep cliffs make the pass extremely dangerous. There’s a reason this place is called the Mountain of Death.
Higher mountain peaks extend along the Cordillera de Talamanca, the region that the Pianista trail leads into.
Montane streams in the tropics are among the most extreme fluvial environments in the world. A combination of steep slopes, high mean annual rainfall, and intense tropical storms generate an energetic and powerful flow regime.
Much of the range and the area around it is included in La Amistad International Park, which also is shared between the two countries.
The highest peaks are present within Costa Rica and Panama.
Much of the Caribbean areas of this range are still unexplored.
Rapid runoff production generates flashy, frequent, short-duration floods and occasional high-magnitude floods associated with hurricanes and other tropical disturbances.
During the peak wet season, strong hydraulic forces are present within the stream channels.
The Changuinola is a river network with well-developed downstream hydraulic geometry.
Many alluvial rivers develop systematic changes in slope, channel geometry, and grain size, from their headwaters to the coast, in response to changes in discharge and sediment yield.

“The shield that defends needs a sword by its side”
- Mech Core Pilot's Motto.
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Churk was going to die.
He was going to die, and his brood left behind were going to be enslaved.
He was going to die, and with him his race’s history, achievements and technology would also die out.
They would all be turned into the organic robots his enemy used to power its military might.
Churk’s people were known as the Algeen’s. The Algeen’s were frog-like people, they had four arms and two legs, with large hands and feet. Fiercely intelligent, obscenely democratic, unbelievably green.
Their whole population got an equal vote on any measure of policy or governmental decision, a slow and ponderous system, but one which worked. Once they had gracefully colonized over a thousand planets. Then the Tide came and generations later, on their battered and bruised Homeworld, they were making their final stand. One world left of the most civilized civilization.
The Tide were slavers, but they had been at it for millennia now. Absorbing, enslaving, and breeding thousands of species and races. Making them all part of a homogeneous whole. No one outside of the Tide themselves knew who the original species was, and maybe no one in the Tide knew either. It was possible that they still existed, at the very top of the slavery food chain, being served by those they considered lesser and treated horribly. But it was equally possible that a slave lead rebellion had seen fit to absorb them as they had been absorbed. An ouroboros of cultural erasure and brutal labour camps.
Five hundred metres from Churk’s position, stood the product of those labour camps. Two Tide mech’s which were currently powering towards him and his squad, Churk had little delusions about how effective his semi-fortified engineer’s depo was going to be in protecting their lives. Suddenly his neural link lit up with new high priority information, he was not to engage the enemy, reinforcements were on their way.
While he was glad he didn’t have to engage the enemy (as the ordinance he had at his disposal would have been ineffective against the heavy armour of the Tide machines) the order didn’t make any sense, and so he queried it.
“Reinforcements? What reinforcements? Who’s left?” He responded. As there was no one currently available to respond to his query the over-stretched AI superintendent replied in as basic and succinct method as possible.
“An orbital drop-pod enroute. Contents: One mech. Mech rating: Classified. Mech model: Classified. Mech origin: Classified. Pilot: Anna ‘Sustain’ Finand. Species: Human.” Rattled off the AI in his head.
A mind-numbing list containing more questions than answers. Human? The Algeen’s had included as many species as possible in their attempts to create a force equal to that of the Tide’s, but as far as he knew all of them apart from the Roc’s had been wiped out. He hadn’t heard of humanity before, and how the hell had they managed to get orbital assets in position? The battle for their home world’s skies had been lost months ago. Most importantly, how the hell was one mech going to win against two Tide models?
The Tide had a clear technological advantage over the Algeen’s, most prominently displayed in any of the many mech battles which had taken place throughout the war, whether that be on the ground or in the void. The Tide’s powerplants were three times as efficient as Algeen models, and their anti-gravity/ inertia damping technology was twice as efficient. This allowed the Tide’s mechs to pack on armour and energy shields, creating hulking tanks which moved as easily as the Algeen’s mechs but had a one to four advantage in a fair fight.
A massive crash signalled to Churk that he was about to get his answers, and he eagerly peered into the dust cloud that had formed around the human mech, waiting to see the sort of beast which had come to his (and indeed his entire species) aid. Hope flared ever so briefly, only to be crushed when a familiar silhouette appeared: That of an Algeen mech.
The rounded, purple armour. The gleaming blue sensor nodes. The dome like head. The large feet. Algeen through and through, maybe even an older design from mid-way through the war. One that prioritised speed over armour, a costly mistake. There were however a few differences:
For one, the mech had been heavily modified. Additional armour had been removed from the torso and right arm. A weird cage-like attachment had been crudely added to the front of the mech's thighs and shins. The mech still had its energy shield, but it was now held in the left hand instead of being permanently attached to the mech's chest.
The shoulder armour had been replaced with a series of tubes which looked rather spikey when grouped together, some sort of smoke or grenade launchers perhaps?
Its only armament was a single sword in its right hand. This was particular. For one, it was the only item on the mech that was clearly neither Algeen nor was it of the Tide. It was a dull grey blade, looking more like an oversized cleaver then a sword. Its handle was unadorned and had not even been painted to separate its likeness from that of the rest of the blade. The entire thing was made of one single piece of metal, and while Churk did not know it at that very moment, it had been simply pressed into shape.
Its edge was barely sharp enough to cut, leaving the entire weapon closer to a bat them a knife. By Algeen and Tide standards it was brutally crude. Utterly remorseless in its hatred for elegant craftsmanship. It was a pipe bomb in comparison to a hand grenade. But like a pipe bomb: it was lethal.
Churk watched with equal parts dread and (what he felt to be) misplaced hope as the Algeen mech charged its superior counterparts.
He didn’t know it at the time, but he would speak of the following battle for many years to come.
The human mech launched towards the Tide machines; dust flaring underneath it’s artificially lightened footsteps. It’s strategic removal of armour had made the machine’s already impressive performance even more pronounced, and while its speed surprised the two Tide operators, it did little to unnerve them.
These two operators had seen enough fighting to know one Algeen machine was of little concern, and its missing armour only further reinforced their confidence.
They must have pulled that thing straight out of a repair bay. Thought the pilot of the foremost Tide mech.
These Tide mechs represented a standard advanced scouting group, consisting of one heavy, ranged mech and one light, melee machine. As scouts these mechs would only engage when they had the advantage. But on Algeen Prime, there wasn’t a single Tide scout group that didn’t have the advantage. How the two would operate was simple, the light mech would push out to the front and engage any oncoming mechs, closing quickly to force the enemy into a melee fight. Meanwhile the ranged mech would perform counter-battery and point defence operations: shooting down oncoming missiles and retaliating in kind with its own.
Tide mechs wanted a melee. They always wanted a melee.
Churk didn’t know why exactly. For while it was true that the Tide saw a distinct advantage over Algeens in melee combat, many of their mech units would choose to engage in a melee fight even when they could have as easily dispatched their enemies from afar. Maybe they just found it fun? For the Algeen race it was obvious that the Tide mech operators had been trained extensively on sword combat, even before this war had taken place, and no Algeen could win against a Tide in a fair fight.
As the war progressed the Algeen’s had tried to level the playing field in this aspect, bringing in veterans to teach new operators how to properly utilise a blade. But the icy fact was that swordsmanship had died out long ago in Algeen society (for what modern, enlightened society could possibly keep such a thing alive?) and could not be resurrected in a timely matter. At least, not on the sort of scale they needed if they were to compete against the Tide.
Of course, neither an Algeen nor a Tide Thrall had seen a human wield a blade before. Human swordplay techniques had been forged in the flames of thousands of battles; and like a candle lit from that flame, had been preserved generation after generation. No one had expected that the fires which forged such skill would ever be relit, but it was on Algeen Prime that one small candle found the sort of kindling its ancient creators could not have even imagined.
The Algeen and the Tide machine finally met on the field of battle, with the Tide’s long-range support not having fired a single shot. The Tide machine used its superior power output to slash its sword down, the piloting hoping to knock the sword from the human mech’s clearly loose grip.
It was a surprise to all when the human mech flicked its blade up to deflect the blow, keeping its grip loose as it did so, letting the momentum of the blade do the necessary dirty work. Had a human been deflecting a blow like this, doing so would have reduced the amount of force (and hence, energy) necessary to block the blow. Allowing the fighter to keep their strength up, to persist in the melee for far longer than a less skilled counterpart.
On a mech muscle fatigue was less of a concern. However not resisting the full force of the blow vastly reduced strain on the framework, motors, and anti-gravity pods of the machine. In a long battle the kind of strain that comes from blocking each and every blow can destroy a mech far more thoroughly than even the most devastating sword or missile strike.
Furthermore, deflecting the strike had another key advantage: It positioned the Human's blade for a slashing follow up. Like a snake striking the human's blade leap for the Tide mech, a potent mixture of surprise and heavy armour preventing the operator from recovering in time: The Human's blade connected with a stunning yet well aimed ferocity. The blow exploited the gap in the Tide mech's armour at the armpit. A well-known weakness which the Algeen were rarely able to exploit.
The blade cut deep, severing several of the thick black cables which sent power down the opposing mech's arm. Like cutting into a ligament, the Tide Mechs right arm (sword included) slumped down, as the antigravity modules cut out due to lack of power and its motors struggled to lift the now considerably heavier arm. Completely blindsided by the ferocious attack and now lacking an effective sword arm, the Tide pilot responded in sudden desperation: twisting his mech at its hips, the pilot slammed his own weak and heavily armoured arm into the Algeen mech which had wounded it so.
This may have seen the Tide mech retake the initiative in battle, and with it the advantage. But the Tide pilot wasn't facing an Algeen pilot, and the human who had been training for this mission for the past three years saw the wild attack coming from a galaxy away.
Ducking before the Tide mech even began its twist, the human pilot successfully dodged the incoming attack. Only instead of leaving it there she followed up the movement by striking the upper thigh of the Tide mech with the pommel of her sword.
The ball joint located there had been studied by human engineers who, it must be stated, had a better grasp on how to break things then their Algeen counterparts: the joint shattered under the force of the well-placed blow and the stresses the wild swing with an overloaded arm had placed on the machine.
Churk couldn't believe his eyes as the machine crumpled into an awkward heap: with just two well placed blows the mech pilot had managed to take down a significantly better equipped target. His men behind him cheered, but he didn't. The friendly mech wasn't out of the woods yet, and there was still a lot of ground to clear between the fallen melee mech, and its ranged counterpart.
Churk could scarcely breathe as the Tide ranged mech readied itself for a missile salvo. A single Tide missile was capable of wiping out the Algeen mech, but they never fired a single missile. Churk clenched his teeth tight as his men stopped cheering and looked on with horror as smoke began streaking over the battlefield, signalling the death that was currently barrelling for their only hope.
Inside the outmatched Algeen mech however, the human pilot only smiled.
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